December 19
Dear Diary,
Neville basically ignored me all weekend. I expected to get some kind of response at least, but he didn't say anything and the Yule Ball is coming up really soon.
Lavender said she would ask him for me. So it was this evening in the common room, and I went up the stairs, but stayed close enough so that I could hear the whole thing. Neville was about to walk out of the common room to the library. He had the portrait open when Lavender ran up to him.
"Neville! Did you decide if you're going to the dance with Ginny yet?"
"No," he said. Lavender didn't know whether that was no as in "no, I didn't decide yet," or "no, I don't want to."
She was about to ask him when he said, "Just to clarify, my answer is NO!" And he stormed through the portrait and slammed it hard behind him.
I feel so bad. Lavender said he was acting like a jerk, but he's a really nice guy. I know he must really hate me if he acts so mean when he thinks about me. I wish he would talk to me. I wish I could change things. But I can't.
It's hard for me to imagine being with anyone for a long time besides Neville. We got along so well, and I ruined everything. I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could go up to him and say, "Do you hate me?"
I just need to know. I want to know what I do to make him so mad. I mean, I know what I did, I broke up with him, but that was a long time ago. Was there anything else, or is he just unforgiving? I would have given him a second chance if it was the other way around. I guess I'm just a strong believer in second chances.
I have a lot of guts, I guess. I'm not afraid to ask guys out, while most of my friends are afraid to. When I fall, I fall hard, but I always get back up. I always keep going. I didn't let Neville get me down for the rest of the night. I guess he's just afraid I'll break his heart again. I wish there was something I could do, to show him that I would never do that again. If there was, I would do it. But I can't think of anything.
Like I've said countless times before, I have to get over him. I will get over him, no matter how hard it is.
Here's the thing. The Neville I'm in love with... doesn't exist anymore. That's because I'm in love with the Neville that was around last year, when we were going out... not the Neville that's around now.
I wrote some apoem about how I feel. Here 's one of them:
My Mistake
I made a mistake
Three years ago
I wish I could go back and change it
But I'm afraid that can't be so.
I didn't know how much I cared
Until I let you go
But now I care for you again
In ways I can never show.
I'm sure you're trying to forget
Forget me and hate me
I wish that wasn't the way it was
Is that the way it has to be?
I'd do anything to go back
To change the decision I made
But I know I have to give up
And let the dream fade.
You don't care anymore
As for love, there is no trace
Now I must move on
And reality must be faced.
But I will never forget you.
Please don't forget me.
Anway... as for the Yule Ball, well, I guess I'll just go with my friends and have a good time with them. Lavender's still going out with Dean, they're so cute together. I guess I could always ask Chris... I don't know what he'd say, though.
I don't exactly know how I feel about Chris, either. I mean, he's a nice guy, but I don't know him very well. And I wouldn't want to be involved with someone that has nothing in common with me, because it would never work out. I might ask him. I depends how I'm feeling.
I am excited about Christmas coming up, though! Christmas is always my favorite holiday. It's one good thing about this time, anyway.
Love,
Ginny
************************************************************************
A/N: I know this chapter's short, and it was only one day, but I thought it would be a good place to stop. I don't really know yet what will happen at the dance, I'm still thinking about it.
If anyone needs a beta... I'd be glad to volunteer! Just email me. Also, I've written something I call "How To Have Successful Harry Potter FanFiction." It basically has some guidelines and what not telling my tips or ideas to write a successful story. I think they're worth taking a look at, especially for the beginner. Please email me if you want that.
HarryPotterFanFicGirl- Ah yes, Chris. Let me attempt to explain this. Ginny was never really sure if she really liked Chris. You see, when she was going out with Harry, she missed the freedom of liking any guy she wanted. And liking Chris was daring. But she is tending to think that she only was attracted to Chris because it was only like a "forbidden love", not because of the actual person. As you can see from the above chapter, I am thinking of bringing Chris back into the plot. I probably will, eventually.
Please review!
Dear Diary,
Neville basically ignored me all weekend. I expected to get some kind of response at least, but he didn't say anything and the Yule Ball is coming up really soon.
Lavender said she would ask him for me. So it was this evening in the common room, and I went up the stairs, but stayed close enough so that I could hear the whole thing. Neville was about to walk out of the common room to the library. He had the portrait open when Lavender ran up to him.
"Neville! Did you decide if you're going to the dance with Ginny yet?"
"No," he said. Lavender didn't know whether that was no as in "no, I didn't decide yet," or "no, I don't want to."
She was about to ask him when he said, "Just to clarify, my answer is NO!" And he stormed through the portrait and slammed it hard behind him.
I feel so bad. Lavender said he was acting like a jerk, but he's a really nice guy. I know he must really hate me if he acts so mean when he thinks about me. I wish he would talk to me. I wish I could change things. But I can't.
It's hard for me to imagine being with anyone for a long time besides Neville. We got along so well, and I ruined everything. I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could go up to him and say, "Do you hate me?"
I just need to know. I want to know what I do to make him so mad. I mean, I know what I did, I broke up with him, but that was a long time ago. Was there anything else, or is he just unforgiving? I would have given him a second chance if it was the other way around. I guess I'm just a strong believer in second chances.
I have a lot of guts, I guess. I'm not afraid to ask guys out, while most of my friends are afraid to. When I fall, I fall hard, but I always get back up. I always keep going. I didn't let Neville get me down for the rest of the night. I guess he's just afraid I'll break his heart again. I wish there was something I could do, to show him that I would never do that again. If there was, I would do it. But I can't think of anything.
Like I've said countless times before, I have to get over him. I will get over him, no matter how hard it is.
Here's the thing. The Neville I'm in love with... doesn't exist anymore. That's because I'm in love with the Neville that was around last year, when we were going out... not the Neville that's around now.
I wrote some apoem about how I feel. Here 's one of them:
My Mistake
I made a mistake
Three years ago
I wish I could go back and change it
But I'm afraid that can't be so.
I didn't know how much I cared
Until I let you go
But now I care for you again
In ways I can never show.
I'm sure you're trying to forget
Forget me and hate me
I wish that wasn't the way it was
Is that the way it has to be?
I'd do anything to go back
To change the decision I made
But I know I have to give up
And let the dream fade.
You don't care anymore
As for love, there is no trace
Now I must move on
And reality must be faced.
But I will never forget you.
Please don't forget me.
Anway... as for the Yule Ball, well, I guess I'll just go with my friends and have a good time with them. Lavender's still going out with Dean, they're so cute together. I guess I could always ask Chris... I don't know what he'd say, though.
I don't exactly know how I feel about Chris, either. I mean, he's a nice guy, but I don't know him very well. And I wouldn't want to be involved with someone that has nothing in common with me, because it would never work out. I might ask him. I depends how I'm feeling.
I am excited about Christmas coming up, though! Christmas is always my favorite holiday. It's one good thing about this time, anyway.
Love,
Ginny
************************************************************************
A/N: I know this chapter's short, and it was only one day, but I thought it would be a good place to stop. I don't really know yet what will happen at the dance, I'm still thinking about it.
If anyone needs a beta... I'd be glad to volunteer! Just email me. Also, I've written something I call "How To Have Successful Harry Potter FanFiction." It basically has some guidelines and what not telling my tips or ideas to write a successful story. I think they're worth taking a look at, especially for the beginner. Please email me if you want that.
HarryPotterFanFicGirl- Ah yes, Chris. Let me attempt to explain this. Ginny was never really sure if she really liked Chris. You see, when she was going out with Harry, she missed the freedom of liking any guy she wanted. And liking Chris was daring. But she is tending to think that she only was attracted to Chris because it was only like a "forbidden love", not because of the actual person. As you can see from the above chapter, I am thinking of bringing Chris back into the plot. I probably will, eventually.
Please review!