Rating: PG for some language
Feedback: Thank you. Melpomenethalia@aol.com
Spoilers: Through season seven's "Help," episode four.
Distribution: The Warren and Fanfiction.net. If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: Spike asked Buffy to sit with him to keep the monsters at bay. Here's my take on what might happen if someone stayed with him.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Mutant Enemy (Joss Whedon), a wonderfully creative company whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.
Author's Note: This is the third in a series of vignettes, all occuring on the same day. This one went a little strange on me. Normally, I like this character, but I think this could be a pretty realistic idea of what could happen in a confrontation between him and Spike.
1:10 p.m.
I know exactly what I'm doing here.
I'm protecting what's mine from something that shouldn't be here. Heavy emphasis on the "thing." See, I know what's going to go on with everybody. First, they'll all be, oh, stupid Spike, we should stake him, what a waste of space, yadda yadda yadda. Then they'll just sort of put up with him out of habit for a while, kinda like dust on the top shelf of a bookcase; they know it's there, but it's just not worthwhile to do anything about it. Finally, they'll actually start to feel sorry for the big, evil moron, and that's when he'll be most dangerous. And I'm not letting him have that chance.
See, Buffy is a great Slayer and a good friend and all that, but the truth is, I've never thought she was really all that bright. I'd never say anything to her about it, of course. I mean, it's not her fault if she's just prone to being irrational, is it? She falls in love with a vampire with a soul. She doesn't kill him the first chance she gets after he goes evil on her. She runs off and leaves her mom and her sister because she can't handle killing poor wittle mass murderer Angel. She gets completely played by the first guy who blinks at her in college. She lets Riley slip through her fingers. She sleeps with Spike. These are not the choices of a thinking person.
Willow really isn't much better, either. Yeah, booksmart, you got me there, but we're talking about someone who decided to kill everyone on the planet last year. Again with the not logicalness of it all. And Dawn, she's just a kid. So I can see how all of them are eventually going to mess up and forgive this lowlife.
Currently, said lowlife is curled into a fetal position on the ground, facing the wall. Okay, so I kicked him a few times. It was just to make sure he was really out of it. Well, that and I happen to love the sound of my steel-toed work boots on vampire spine. He never moved, though. So, I'm just sitting here, watching him, ready to see him make a mistake and let it slip that this is all a big act.
He seems a lot smaller than he used to be. Then again, I guess anybody looks smaller curled into a ball on the floor, but it's more than that. He's diminished, somehow. All he does is lie there and sort of pant. One time, when I was six, my dad ran over the next-door neighbor's dog. It had pretty much the same posture, made the same shallow breathing noises for a few minutes, and then it died. Scared to death more than anything else if you ask me. But with Spike, I'm not falling for it.
He doesn't get to be forgiven, not after what he's pulled. So what if he didn't have a soul? So what if he went off and did a bunch of macho stuff to supposedly repent? The guy was possessed by a demon that made him something evil and inhuman, he had a lust for the kill, and he tried to rape Buffy. Those aren't things that get forgiven.
I stand here and stare down at him for a long time, and I can't believe the level of loathing I feel for this thing in front of me. I'd stake him, but I don't want to dirty my hands with his ashes. Instead, I settle for a couple more firm kicks to the curve of his back, and I hear a loud crack after one of them. Broke something that time.
Good.
I'm sick of this. He's got to be faking it. There's no way the disgusting pig that he is could ever feel any kind of real remorse. I grab him by his shoulders and drag him around until he's facing me. There's grit on his cheek, and his forehead is bleeding. Looks like I kicked him straight into the cinderblock wall at some point. Won't see me shedding any tears over that one.
"Give it up, Spike. No one's buying the I'm-so-sorry routine, so peddle it somewhere else. I didn't fall for it with Angel, and I'm sure as hell not going to fall for it with a scumbag like you. Anything you've got, you deserve, and worse."
His eyes have fluttered open a bit, and he's peering out at me blearily. I expect to see a cocky retort in those ice blue circles, but instead, I'm seeing something else entirely. The hell? Don't you dare look at me like that.
Don't you dare pity me. I'm better than you.
"I hate you, you worthless bag of crap."
He still just looks at me, and I don't know what to do about it. The couple of times I met Drusilla, his crazy, psychic chick, I got the impression that she was seeing a lot more than just the surface of stuff from the way her eyes went through things. His eyes have the same expression now.
"Sometimes, you smell like laughter… cruel laughter."
Every drop of blood in my entire body just froze. He just keeps lying there, about as threatening as the stack of textbooks piled next to him.
"Stop hatin' yourself, Xander. You're the only one left who does."
It's a moment of blind rage when I grab the plastic chair behind me and swing it down at his head, which is probably why I miss him. It bounces harmlessly across the concrete, leaving a pair of scuffmarks behind it.
"You know nothing, you got that? Nothing. Or I swear, if you tell anyone, you'll wish you were dust, you understand?"
He just lies there and trembles, but I don't even think it's me that's got him scared. I leave him and head back to the construction site. Coffee break is almost over, and the crew gets slack if I'm not there. As I grab a hardhat and safety goggles off a table, I fight very hard not to think about what the insane vampire said, but for a moment, I wonder.