Coming back from the store, I sat on my sofa and let my mind wander.
Two weeks ago Brian's bracelet had dissapeared from his wrist. The
bracelet I gave him a long time ago. When he came into the store
this afternoon, I asked him about it.
"You took off your bracelet. Was something wrong with it?"
"No. I'm tired of it. It's time for a change." He said calmly.
At those words, my blood ran cold and my heart seemed to stop. He left like nothing had happened after giving me the news. God, I couldn't believe it. It finally happened. The bracelet was gone. My heart sped up at the thought, I was scared. Then Ben walked through my apartment door. Oh my god, Ben...I had completely forgotten about him. I felt lost and he saw the trouble on my face immediately.
"What's wrong Michael?"
I wanted to talk, but I couldn't. I stared at him in silence.
"Michael?" He asked.
It was like the floor had opened up under my feet. I didn't know what to do, or what to think. I decided to talk to Ben, I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing to do but I told him the story of when Brian and I were teenagers. I had given the bracelet to Brian one day, he had loved it and was happy..therefor I was happy.
"I swear I'll never take off your gift Mikey."
"Oh really?" I asked and laughed at him.
"Why are you laughing at me?" Asked Brian with an angry voice.
"Because this bracelet is perfect for a teenager or a young man, but can you really see yourself with that when you're older? I mean at 30 or 40 or 50...it will be ridiculous."
"Why not? I'll always be young."
"Come on Brian, I'm happy you appreciate my gift but I'd like to replace it with something better one day when we're older."
Brian looked at the bracelet on his wrist.
"This bracelet is a symbol of my youth, and our friendship. So I don't think I will grow up to became the old man you described...with responsibilities, with the man I love in my bed every night. And all this whole love thing is shit anyway.it's that *you* want"
I didn't mention all these things to Brian, I just said that someday things will change and this bracelet will wear out with time.
"If by some miracle this does happen on day, I'll take off the bracelet and will be ready to give you all the things you want. I'll wait for you to give me a new gift as a new symbol. I like this gift very much, I don't think I'll ever take it off."
Then he kissed me quickly.
"Thanks for the bracelet. I have to go, see you tomorrow."
"Yeah...wait Brian! What do you mean by a new symbol?"
Brian smiled at me.
"You're so pathetic Mikey."
Brian left and I thought about what he said. And finally, I realized what the new symbol could be. And when I understood, I began to wait for the day when Brian would take off his bracelet.
Ben listened to me. My voice wavered when I said to him, "Brian took off the bracelet."
Ben said nothing for a moment, then spoke.
"Do you think he remembers that?"
"I don't know..yes, Brian always remembers what he says."
"What do you want to do?"
I knew what I wanted, I wanted to buy a new symbol for Brian and I. And I felt guilty to want it so badly when Ben was there with me. I loved Ben.
"Michael, life is short and I have no future to give to you. We are living for the present day like I said to you before. I know you have feelings for me, but I know you have feelings for Brian too. You deserve the happiness that I can't give you. So, get dress and go buy what Brian is waiting for."
I looked at him, I felt sorry.
"Ben..." I began.
"It's okay Michael, all I want his your happiness."
And even though I knew I was breaking his heart, I left him.
"You are my hero Ben."
He smiled at me as I walked out the door.
*** A few hours later I was in Brian's loft, and I was nervous. I began to wonder if it was all a big mistake. If he didn't remember...I'd feel ridiculous. I was fucking scared. He offered me a beer, he seemed as cool as always. Then without reason, he took me in his arms, not that he ever needed a reason to do that.
"I have something for you." I said.
He smiled at me with sparkling eyes.
I took the ring out that I had bought few hours earlier. My heart was beatingout of control.
"Open your hand and close your eyes." I ordered.
"Come on Mikey." He protested.
"Do it."
He obeyed.
I put the ring in the palm of his hand.
"This is my new gift to replace the bracelet."
Brian opened his eyes and saw the ring.
I wanted to run.
"Mikey, it's exactly what I wanted." He said.
Brian gave me a long and passionate kiss. I was lost in it.
Then he said, "I swear that I'll never take off your gift Mikey."
"I hope so."
Brian laughted at me.
"I have something for you too."
He took my hand and put a ring in my palm, I was shocked.
"It's a new symbol that should be worn by both of us."
"I was right when I said someday you would grow up." I teased
"I'm glad you remember that day. I love you Mikey."
"I love you too."
"Always have, always will."
fin.
"You took off your bracelet. Was something wrong with it?"
"No. I'm tired of it. It's time for a change." He said calmly.
At those words, my blood ran cold and my heart seemed to stop. He left like nothing had happened after giving me the news. God, I couldn't believe it. It finally happened. The bracelet was gone. My heart sped up at the thought, I was scared. Then Ben walked through my apartment door. Oh my god, Ben...I had completely forgotten about him. I felt lost and he saw the trouble on my face immediately.
"What's wrong Michael?"
I wanted to talk, but I couldn't. I stared at him in silence.
"Michael?" He asked.
It was like the floor had opened up under my feet. I didn't know what to do, or what to think. I decided to talk to Ben, I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing to do but I told him the story of when Brian and I were teenagers. I had given the bracelet to Brian one day, he had loved it and was happy..therefor I was happy.
"I swear I'll never take off your gift Mikey."
"Oh really?" I asked and laughed at him.
"Why are you laughing at me?" Asked Brian with an angry voice.
"Because this bracelet is perfect for a teenager or a young man, but can you really see yourself with that when you're older? I mean at 30 or 40 or 50...it will be ridiculous."
"Why not? I'll always be young."
"Come on Brian, I'm happy you appreciate my gift but I'd like to replace it with something better one day when we're older."
Brian looked at the bracelet on his wrist.
"This bracelet is a symbol of my youth, and our friendship. So I don't think I will grow up to became the old man you described...with responsibilities, with the man I love in my bed every night. And all this whole love thing is shit anyway.it's that *you* want"
I didn't mention all these things to Brian, I just said that someday things will change and this bracelet will wear out with time.
"If by some miracle this does happen on day, I'll take off the bracelet and will be ready to give you all the things you want. I'll wait for you to give me a new gift as a new symbol. I like this gift very much, I don't think I'll ever take it off."
Then he kissed me quickly.
"Thanks for the bracelet. I have to go, see you tomorrow."
"Yeah...wait Brian! What do you mean by a new symbol?"
Brian smiled at me.
"You're so pathetic Mikey."
Brian left and I thought about what he said. And finally, I realized what the new symbol could be. And when I understood, I began to wait for the day when Brian would take off his bracelet.
Ben listened to me. My voice wavered when I said to him, "Brian took off the bracelet."
Ben said nothing for a moment, then spoke.
"Do you think he remembers that?"
"I don't know..yes, Brian always remembers what he says."
"What do you want to do?"
I knew what I wanted, I wanted to buy a new symbol for Brian and I. And I felt guilty to want it so badly when Ben was there with me. I loved Ben.
"Michael, life is short and I have no future to give to you. We are living for the present day like I said to you before. I know you have feelings for me, but I know you have feelings for Brian too. You deserve the happiness that I can't give you. So, get dress and go buy what Brian is waiting for."
I looked at him, I felt sorry.
"Ben..." I began.
"It's okay Michael, all I want his your happiness."
And even though I knew I was breaking his heart, I left him.
"You are my hero Ben."
He smiled at me as I walked out the door.
*** A few hours later I was in Brian's loft, and I was nervous. I began to wonder if it was all a big mistake. If he didn't remember...I'd feel ridiculous. I was fucking scared. He offered me a beer, he seemed as cool as always. Then without reason, he took me in his arms, not that he ever needed a reason to do that.
"I have something for you." I said.
He smiled at me with sparkling eyes.
I took the ring out that I had bought few hours earlier. My heart was beatingout of control.
"Open your hand and close your eyes." I ordered.
"Come on Mikey." He protested.
"Do it."
He obeyed.
I put the ring in the palm of his hand.
"This is my new gift to replace the bracelet."
Brian opened his eyes and saw the ring.
I wanted to run.
"Mikey, it's exactly what I wanted." He said.
Brian gave me a long and passionate kiss. I was lost in it.
Then he said, "I swear that I'll never take off your gift Mikey."
"I hope so."
Brian laughted at me.
"I have something for you too."
He took my hand and put a ring in my palm, I was shocked.
"It's a new symbol that should be worn by both of us."
"I was right when I said someday you would grow up." I teased
"I'm glad you remember that day. I love you Mikey."
"I love you too."
"Always have, always will."
fin.