A/N THIS CHAPTER IS NOT MINE!!!! KARLY_ANN134 WROTE IT AND SHE GAVE THE FIC TO ME BECAUSE SHE DOESNT HAVE TIME TO FINISH IT.
A/N – when the text is bold and italicised, "Big Brother"(me) is speaking, which means all the housemates can hear me, just like on the show :P.
Welcome back to –
1 TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER
Me: Welcome one, welcome all, to Tortallan Big Brother. I should probably describe the "house" that the contestants live in. It is made of strong, grey brick, and is fairly large. It has two bedrooms, each with five beds in each. There are, altogether, three doubles and seven singles. There is the Diary Room, with a trained shrink –
Psych – Hey!
Me: I uh, mean, psychiatrist… yeah… psychiatrist, that's it – anyway, there is a common room, with a comfy hearth that they can light themselves – plenty of leaves, don't worry – and some lounges, and a kitchen, and a back yard.
Thayet: What about (goes crimson) what about a loo?
Me: Build a latrine.
Thayet: In the back garden?
Me: Yes in the back yard.
Thayet: No!
Me: Yes!
Thayet: No!
Me: Yes!
Thayet: No!
Me (warningly): Thayet…
*Thayet goes off and sulks*
Me (unnaturally cheery): So anyway, this is the deal: each week (our time)(don't flame me if I'm a bit late in updating) the housemates will nominate three (in some cases five :P{Aussies know what I'm on about}) housemates to be evicted. And then YOU will all vote in terms of reviews. So choose your evictee carefully as you can only review once. And please, it would be nice if you gave a reason for voting for the person.
At the end of one week's time I will count the votes. DON'T think you will know who is going to go because I will ask my family to put votes in too (they are enlightened on Tamora Pierce thanks to my constant gibbering on about her books) and I will vote myself. I will also ask my friends. SO THERE!
Now, we cross live into the BB house as the housemates get accustomed to their new surroundings.
1.1.1 DAY ONE
Jon: I think it is the sensible thing to do to first work out where everyone sleeps.
*At this point Cleon gives Kel a sly smile and Kel looks away, red in the face*
Neal: I bags the double bed!
Alanna: As your knight master –
Neal: Huh hum! I think you mean EX-knight master.
Kel: Whom are you going to sleep with?
Neal: My teddy.
*Cleon bites back a laugh*: Your teddy?
Roger: Enough!
*Silence*
Roger: This is how it goes – first to the bed gets to sleep in it. *Muwahahahaha!* and disappears.
They hear his laugh in one of the bedrooms.
Alanna: Curse you, Roger! I'm going to kill you a third time!
Me: Alanna, you can't kill one of the contestants.
Alanna: Why not?
Me: Because I say you can't.
Alanna: Awwwww. *Stuffs her dagger back in its hilt*
Me: Ok, once you've all sorted out where you are sleeping, meet in the common room.
~ Bedroom One ~
Kel, Cleon, Alanna, George, Joren, and Dom all end up in bedroom one (B1).
Kel: Ok, there is one double bed and four single beds.
Cleon: Just like my dove to take command!
Dom: Shut up, Cleon.
Cleon: Rack off Dom!
Kel: Boys!
Dom: I would like to inform you that we are men Sir Kel.
Kel: You sound like Neal!
Dom: Really?
*Kel raises eyebrows*
Dom: You look like Lord Raoul! Doesn't she Cleon, doesn't she?
Cleon (growling): she looks like herself
Me: Hey! You guys aren't supposed to quote Tamora Pierce in here! Unfortunately me, the writer, doesn't own those lines so you can't use them!
Cleon and Dom: Oh. Sorry.
Alanna: Well, it's obvious George and I should get the double bed.
Joren (dryly): Why is that?
Alanna (blushing slightly): For obvious reasons.
Joren: Like?
Alanna: Well, we're the only couple here –
Cleon: What about – ow! *Kel nudged Cleon hard with her elbow*
Cleon: What? Huh? Oh. Ohhhhhh………
Kel: Alanna and George get the double bed then. And on the count of three we race to the beds to get to the one we want. One… T –
Joren: Three.
*Everyone scrambles for the bed they want*
Kel: Hey that's not fair!
(Amazingly the only bed left is the one next to Alanna and George's double bed.)
Alanna: We're not contaminated!
Dom: We just don't want to be interrupted at night by your noises.
Alanna: What noises?
Joren: Obvious noises.
~*~
Eww…… wonder what they're up to in bedroom two?
~*~
~ Bedroom Two ~
The other contestants, Thayet, Jon. Numair, Daine, Delia, Roger and Neal are all in bedroom two (B2).
Thayet (whining): Jon, do we have to share a room with all these people.
Jon: Yes my dear.
Roger: Enough with the soppies.
Jon: I am King, and you will obey me, cousin.
Roger: Well I would have been King if not for that meddling girlfriend of yours.
Thayet: Girlfriend? Jon, who is he taking about? Alanna? Is he talking about Alanna? Jon, how could you? *Thayet breaks into tears*
Jon (glaring at Roger): Look what you've done now.
Roger: Hey it wasn't me who slept with her.
*Thayet's sobs become louder at the word "slept"*
Jon: Honey –
Daine (who is comforting Thayet): Go to hell Jon. This is women's business.
*Daine takes Thayet to a single bed and lays her down*
Daine: Thayet will sleep here. *She points to the single bed across from it* I sleep there.
Numair: What? What did I do?
Daine: Nothing. But I don't want to disturb you if I need to get up to comfort Thayet in the middle of the night. *Daine glares daggers at Jon*
Numair (sighing): where do I sleep then?
Delia: I don't care, but I'm sleeping here. *Sits gracefully on a single bed*
Neal: What! There's only the double bed left! I'm not sleeping with him! *Points an accusing finger at Roger*
Roger: Fine. *Blasts his Gift down the middle of the bed, slicing it in half*
Me: Oi! Roger! Since when do you have your Gift?
Roger: Where is that voice coming from?
Me: I'm the narrator/author/editor/commander. I can see everything and anything and make comments whenever I wish.
Roger: No!!!! Only I should have power like that!
Me: Tough!
Roger: No! Never! No!!!
Thayet (red and yelling): SHUT UP!!! You're both giving me a HEADACHE!!!!
Daine: Oh, honey, it's ok…
Neal: Do I really have to share a room with these immature adults?
Delia: Well I don't want to share a room with a child.
Neal: A child!
Delia: Yes, a child.
Neal **** you, you ******* *****!
Me: NEAL!
Neal: What? The show's cut. *Grins evilly* Just wait for Tortallan Big Brother, Uncut *flashes big cheesy smile at camera*
Me: Neal, you're not advertising the program you idiot!
This is Big Brother. Contestants, please report to the Common Room.
~*~ In the Common Room ~*~
You have now had several hours to sort out your sleeping arrangements.
At this point Thayet gives daggers to Jon, who is as far away as possible.
You will now have the task of deciding who will be in charge of ordering the food supplies with the house money.
Roger: What kind of supplies?
Neal: Food and such the like, idiot!
Roger: Aw, I wanted Blazebalm.
Kel: You've been dead for years. What could you possibly want with Blazebalm?
Roger: What do you think I want to do with it *grins evilly*
Me: Shut up and listen to BB!
You have a limited amount of money to spend. I will put you through tests and each person who completes the test will earn some amount of money to add to the account.
Thayet: Can we buy whatever we want *eyes glitter*
It is up to the person in charge of ordering it and the rest of the house.
*Thayet stretches hand up excitedly*: Me, me! Oh, me!
It is up to the housemates.
Thayet: Oh, please! Please! Please! Please!
Daine: I personally think Thayet and I would be good for the job.
Jon opens his mouth then thinks better of it.
George: I nominate myself, as I for one would like to eat.
Thayet: What's that supposed to mean?
George: You'll just by a nail file.
Thayet: I can do that!
George: Yeah, but I'd like to pick some of the food we eat.
Ok: We have three nominations for the job. Unfortunately, we can only have two people for it. The three nominees are Daine, George and Thayet. Votes for George:
Alanna, Joren, Roger and Neal raise their hands.
Daine?
Numair, Kel, Cleon and Dom raise their hands.
Thayet?
Jon and Delia raise their hands.
Ok, the food-pickers are Daine and George.
Thayet: How could you all? *Runs off crying into her bedroom*
You are all dismissed.
A/N KARLY_ANN134's work not mine. You know that by now.
Lady Alanna Salmalin of Conte, the Queen of Fluff
A/N – when the text is bold and italicised, "Big Brother"(me) is speaking, which means all the housemates can hear me, just like on the show :P.
Welcome back to –
1 TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER
Me: Welcome one, welcome all, to Tortallan Big Brother. I should probably describe the "house" that the contestants live in. It is made of strong, grey brick, and is fairly large. It has two bedrooms, each with five beds in each. There are, altogether, three doubles and seven singles. There is the Diary Room, with a trained shrink –
Psych – Hey!
Me: I uh, mean, psychiatrist… yeah… psychiatrist, that's it – anyway, there is a common room, with a comfy hearth that they can light themselves – plenty of leaves, don't worry – and some lounges, and a kitchen, and a back yard.
Thayet: What about (goes crimson) what about a loo?
Me: Build a latrine.
Thayet: In the back garden?
Me: Yes in the back yard.
Thayet: No!
Me: Yes!
Thayet: No!
Me: Yes!
Thayet: No!
Me (warningly): Thayet…
*Thayet goes off and sulks*
Me (unnaturally cheery): So anyway, this is the deal: each week (our time)(don't flame me if I'm a bit late in updating) the housemates will nominate three (in some cases five :P{Aussies know what I'm on about}) housemates to be evicted. And then YOU will all vote in terms of reviews. So choose your evictee carefully as you can only review once. And please, it would be nice if you gave a reason for voting for the person.
At the end of one week's time I will count the votes. DON'T think you will know who is going to go because I will ask my family to put votes in too (they are enlightened on Tamora Pierce thanks to my constant gibbering on about her books) and I will vote myself. I will also ask my friends. SO THERE!
Now, we cross live into the BB house as the housemates get accustomed to their new surroundings.
1.1.1 DAY ONE
Jon: I think it is the sensible thing to do to first work out where everyone sleeps.
*At this point Cleon gives Kel a sly smile and Kel looks away, red in the face*
Neal: I bags the double bed!
Alanna: As your knight master –
Neal: Huh hum! I think you mean EX-knight master.
Kel: Whom are you going to sleep with?
Neal: My teddy.
*Cleon bites back a laugh*: Your teddy?
Roger: Enough!
*Silence*
Roger: This is how it goes – first to the bed gets to sleep in it. *Muwahahahaha!* and disappears.
They hear his laugh in one of the bedrooms.
Alanna: Curse you, Roger! I'm going to kill you a third time!
Me: Alanna, you can't kill one of the contestants.
Alanna: Why not?
Me: Because I say you can't.
Alanna: Awwwww. *Stuffs her dagger back in its hilt*
Me: Ok, once you've all sorted out where you are sleeping, meet in the common room.
~ Bedroom One ~
Kel, Cleon, Alanna, George, Joren, and Dom all end up in bedroom one (B1).
Kel: Ok, there is one double bed and four single beds.
Cleon: Just like my dove to take command!
Dom: Shut up, Cleon.
Cleon: Rack off Dom!
Kel: Boys!
Dom: I would like to inform you that we are men Sir Kel.
Kel: You sound like Neal!
Dom: Really?
*Kel raises eyebrows*
Dom: You look like Lord Raoul! Doesn't she Cleon, doesn't she?
Cleon (growling): she looks like herself
Me: Hey! You guys aren't supposed to quote Tamora Pierce in here! Unfortunately me, the writer, doesn't own those lines so you can't use them!
Cleon and Dom: Oh. Sorry.
Alanna: Well, it's obvious George and I should get the double bed.
Joren (dryly): Why is that?
Alanna (blushing slightly): For obvious reasons.
Joren: Like?
Alanna: Well, we're the only couple here –
Cleon: What about – ow! *Kel nudged Cleon hard with her elbow*
Cleon: What? Huh? Oh. Ohhhhhh………
Kel: Alanna and George get the double bed then. And on the count of three we race to the beds to get to the one we want. One… T –
Joren: Three.
*Everyone scrambles for the bed they want*
Kel: Hey that's not fair!
(Amazingly the only bed left is the one next to Alanna and George's double bed.)
Alanna: We're not contaminated!
Dom: We just don't want to be interrupted at night by your noises.
Alanna: What noises?
Joren: Obvious noises.
~*~
Eww…… wonder what they're up to in bedroom two?
~*~
~ Bedroom Two ~
The other contestants, Thayet, Jon. Numair, Daine, Delia, Roger and Neal are all in bedroom two (B2).
Thayet (whining): Jon, do we have to share a room with all these people.
Jon: Yes my dear.
Roger: Enough with the soppies.
Jon: I am King, and you will obey me, cousin.
Roger: Well I would have been King if not for that meddling girlfriend of yours.
Thayet: Girlfriend? Jon, who is he taking about? Alanna? Is he talking about Alanna? Jon, how could you? *Thayet breaks into tears*
Jon (glaring at Roger): Look what you've done now.
Roger: Hey it wasn't me who slept with her.
*Thayet's sobs become louder at the word "slept"*
Jon: Honey –
Daine (who is comforting Thayet): Go to hell Jon. This is women's business.
*Daine takes Thayet to a single bed and lays her down*
Daine: Thayet will sleep here. *She points to the single bed across from it* I sleep there.
Numair: What? What did I do?
Daine: Nothing. But I don't want to disturb you if I need to get up to comfort Thayet in the middle of the night. *Daine glares daggers at Jon*
Numair (sighing): where do I sleep then?
Delia: I don't care, but I'm sleeping here. *Sits gracefully on a single bed*
Neal: What! There's only the double bed left! I'm not sleeping with him! *Points an accusing finger at Roger*
Roger: Fine. *Blasts his Gift down the middle of the bed, slicing it in half*
Me: Oi! Roger! Since when do you have your Gift?
Roger: Where is that voice coming from?
Me: I'm the narrator/author/editor/commander. I can see everything and anything and make comments whenever I wish.
Roger: No!!!! Only I should have power like that!
Me: Tough!
Roger: No! Never! No!!!
Thayet (red and yelling): SHUT UP!!! You're both giving me a HEADACHE!!!!
Daine: Oh, honey, it's ok…
Neal: Do I really have to share a room with these immature adults?
Delia: Well I don't want to share a room with a child.
Neal: A child!
Delia: Yes, a child.
Neal **** you, you ******* *****!
Me: NEAL!
Neal: What? The show's cut. *Grins evilly* Just wait for Tortallan Big Brother, Uncut *flashes big cheesy smile at camera*
Me: Neal, you're not advertising the program you idiot!
This is Big Brother. Contestants, please report to the Common Room.
~*~ In the Common Room ~*~
You have now had several hours to sort out your sleeping arrangements.
At this point Thayet gives daggers to Jon, who is as far away as possible.
You will now have the task of deciding who will be in charge of ordering the food supplies with the house money.
Roger: What kind of supplies?
Neal: Food and such the like, idiot!
Roger: Aw, I wanted Blazebalm.
Kel: You've been dead for years. What could you possibly want with Blazebalm?
Roger: What do you think I want to do with it *grins evilly*
Me: Shut up and listen to BB!
You have a limited amount of money to spend. I will put you through tests and each person who completes the test will earn some amount of money to add to the account.
Thayet: Can we buy whatever we want *eyes glitter*
It is up to the person in charge of ordering it and the rest of the house.
*Thayet stretches hand up excitedly*: Me, me! Oh, me!
It is up to the housemates.
Thayet: Oh, please! Please! Please! Please!
Daine: I personally think Thayet and I would be good for the job.
Jon opens his mouth then thinks better of it.
George: I nominate myself, as I for one would like to eat.
Thayet: What's that supposed to mean?
George: You'll just by a nail file.
Thayet: I can do that!
George: Yeah, but I'd like to pick some of the food we eat.
Ok: We have three nominations for the job. Unfortunately, we can only have two people for it. The three nominees are Daine, George and Thayet. Votes for George:
Alanna, Joren, Roger and Neal raise their hands.
Daine?
Numair, Kel, Cleon and Dom raise their hands.
Thayet?
Jon and Delia raise their hands.
Ok, the food-pickers are Daine and George.
Thayet: How could you all? *Runs off crying into her bedroom*
You are all dismissed.
A/N KARLY_ANN134's work not mine. You know that by now.
Lady Alanna Salmalin of Conte, the Queen of Fluff