A/N THIS CHAPTER IS NOT MINE!!!! KARLY_ANN134 WROTE IT AND SHE GAVE THE FIC TO ME BECAUSE SHE DOESNT HAVE TIME TO FINISH IT.
Welcome back to…
TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER!!!!
Hello, one and all, to Tortallan Big Brother. Last time we left you with the nominated three: Thayet, Roger and Jon! Who do you want to go?
The situation: about lunchtime, everyone at the kitchen table.
Thayet: What are we eating?
Daine: We ordered something special for our first organised lunch together!
Thayet: What?
George: You'll see.
*At this point Alanna comes in sporting a large silver platter*
Daine: Place it on the table, Alanna.
*Alanna places platter on the table and lifts the lid*
Alanna: Voila!
*Lifts lid to reveal a chicken head surrounded by a mixture of raw and cooked vegetables drizzled with a camel-coloured sauce*
Thayet: Eww!! What is that?!
Alanna: It's something that the Baron and I eat on special occasions.
Thayet: Well, not meaning any disrespect to you or George, Alanna, but do you actually eat that?
Alanna (draws up chest, obviously offended): Of course! It's called chickaré e de lour vegi. Or, chicken surrounded by vegies. (A/N I just made the name up so don't tell me it sounds French but its spelt incorrectly or anything like that, okies?)
Thayet: But the chicken hasn't even been cooked. (A/N – Perhaps at this time I should describe the platter of food for you. The chicken's head has simply been cut off from its body, unplucked and bleeding on the plate, surrounded in an assortment of roughly cut vegetables, which include leek, broccoli, brussell sprouts, carrots, onions and some sort of yellow vegetable with red dots. Some raw, some cooked. All of it drizzled with some sort of icky coloured sauce that smells like off cheese.)
Alanna: Well if you don't want to eat it, don't.
Thayet (looking green): I think I need to use the necessary.
*Thayet leaves to use the latrine*
Alanna: Ok, bring in the real lunch.
Jon: The real lunch?
Alanna: Yeah. *Leaves then re-enters with a platter full of fresh sandwiches, exotic fruits and Daine brings in pitches full of water, lemonade, ale and wine*
Jon: Thay-
Alanna: Shut up you dimwit!
Jon: What? Thayet will want to know we are going to eat.
Daine: Don't you see the point of this? Weren't you at the briefing with the author?
Cleon: No, remember? He had important king's business to attend to.
Roger: That business would have been mine if not for her *jerks thumb at Alanna*
Alanna: You were going to kill Jon.
Roger: Duh.
Alanna: Well he's my prince. I serve him, idiot.
Roger: Well I really don't give a rat's ass about it, do I?
Kel: Give it a rest! You're giving me a headache!
Jon: What about a briefing with the author…
Alanna: Well I told you about it, remember? We're 'sposed to shame Thayet out of the house –
Me: HEY! You're not supposed to say that on AIR!
Dom: Air? What air? We breathe air!
Me: No, no, I mean, in front of the "camera", or the person who types this stuff up. (Me :P)
Joren: COULD WE JUST EAT? I'M HUNGRY!
Daine: That chicken head kind of put me off. I think I'll see how Thayet is doing. *Leaves*
Dom: Yah, me too.
Neal: Uh… me three.
Cleon: I think I'll go with Dom.
Delia: **no response**
Alanna: Delia? Delia? Where is she?
*Sticks head under the table*
Alanna: Ohhhhh. Jon, she's fainted.
Jon: Why should I care?!
Kel: I'm going to bed.
Joren: Well, if no one objects… *grabs platter and runs to room*
Roger: Oi! *Runs after him*
George: I'm hungry too! *Follows Roger*
*Everyone else leaves table too*
BEDROOM ONE
Joren: Mm, this is nice.
Roger (with mouth full): Good 'ood.
George: Uh huh.
*Little do they know that Alanna is just around the corner of Bedroom One with sword in hand waiting for the right moment to launch her attack*
Roger cocks his head. Roger: What was that noise?
Alanna (Leaping in for her attack): Hee YA!
Roger: Aaahhhhhh!
*Alanna promptly kills Roger with her sword*
Me: Alanna! You know what I told you before!
Alanna: But…
Me: NO! No excuses young lady!
Alanna: I am not a young lady! I'm a knight! I'm Sir/Lady Alanna of Trebond, King's Champion, Baroness of Pirate's Swoop, heir to Barony Olau!
Me: It doesn't matter! You could be the King's Queen for all I care!
Thayet (appearing out of nowhere): Hey! That's my title!
Alanna: Rack off Thayet!
Thayet (sulky): Fine then. *Disappears*
Me: You must go to the diary room now to confer with Big Brother!
Alanna: Aww…
Me: NOW!
DIARY ROOM
BB: Alanna. Alanna, Alanna, Alanna.
Alanna: What?
BB: You knew the rules.
Alanna: I did?
BB: But you broke the rules anyway.
Alanna: What rules?
BB: I have no choice in this matter.
Alanna: What bloody matter?!
BB: You are disqualified from the house.
Alanna (jumping to her feet): WHAT?!?!?!?!
BB: I told you, I have no choice.
Alanna: That's bull s***!
BB: NOW! Go pack your things and leave!
*Alanna sulks out of the room, turning around just before she leaves the door and pokes her tongue out at the glass screen that contains Big Brother*
BEDROOM ONE
Alanna (muttering): Stupid Big Brother why did I even come into this house in the first place whatever possessed me I could have saved money on a baby sitter for Mithros' sake…
Jon: You're leaving then?
Alanna: Yes. Got kicked out for killing Roger a third time.
Delia: Aw. Too bad Sir Alanna. I'll really miss you.
Alanna: Piss off Delia.
*Finishes packing and turns to Jon*
Alanna: This is something I've always wanted to do Jon. *Kisses Jon long and passionately.
Alanna: There.
Jon: **speechless**
Thayet: I knew it! I knew it I knew it I knew it!!!!
(A/N – Now that this has happened I just want everyone to know that I am a G/A fan, Jon is a prig. But hey, it's called a "twist in the tale")
Jon: Well, um, Thayet –
*Thayet runs off crying*
Alanna: Goodbye Jon.
*Disappears*
(Big Brother)
Everyone in the Common room.
*Everyone moves into Common room*
(BB) It is time for the eviction.
*Thayet and Jon (the remaining two) squirm in their seats*
3.1 It is time to go…
THAYET
Thayet: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jon: Oh, honey…
Delia: Good riddance. Hehehe now I can have Jonathan for myself *Muwahahahahaha!*
Thayet (crying): Oh Daine, Kel, my girls, I'll miss you oh so much!
Daine: I know Thayet.
Kel: Me too.
Numair: I'll see you round, Thayet.
Cleon: Byebye Your Highness.
Thayet (still crying): Bye Cleon.
Neal: Cya!
Dom: I'm more compassionate. Later!
George: I'm sorry Thayet. Give Alanna a spanking for me.
Thayet (grinning evilly): I will.
(BB) Time for you to go!
*Thayet disappears*
~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~
I am almost down loading Kaz's chapters and then I will begin my own, to which I need reviews so I shall know what you want of me, Master or Mistress. I am but you obedient slave for all eternity. *bows, bows, bows, bows*
Lady Alanna Salmalin of Conte, the Queen of Fluff
Welcome back to…
TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER!!!!
Hello, one and all, to Tortallan Big Brother. Last time we left you with the nominated three: Thayet, Roger and Jon! Who do you want to go?
The situation: about lunchtime, everyone at the kitchen table.
Thayet: What are we eating?
Daine: We ordered something special for our first organised lunch together!
Thayet: What?
George: You'll see.
*At this point Alanna comes in sporting a large silver platter*
Daine: Place it on the table, Alanna.
*Alanna places platter on the table and lifts the lid*
Alanna: Voila!
*Lifts lid to reveal a chicken head surrounded by a mixture of raw and cooked vegetables drizzled with a camel-coloured sauce*
Thayet: Eww!! What is that?!
Alanna: It's something that the Baron and I eat on special occasions.
Thayet: Well, not meaning any disrespect to you or George, Alanna, but do you actually eat that?
Alanna (draws up chest, obviously offended): Of course! It's called chickaré e de lour vegi. Or, chicken surrounded by vegies. (A/N I just made the name up so don't tell me it sounds French but its spelt incorrectly or anything like that, okies?)
Thayet: But the chicken hasn't even been cooked. (A/N – Perhaps at this time I should describe the platter of food for you. The chicken's head has simply been cut off from its body, unplucked and bleeding on the plate, surrounded in an assortment of roughly cut vegetables, which include leek, broccoli, brussell sprouts, carrots, onions and some sort of yellow vegetable with red dots. Some raw, some cooked. All of it drizzled with some sort of icky coloured sauce that smells like off cheese.)
Alanna: Well if you don't want to eat it, don't.
Thayet (looking green): I think I need to use the necessary.
*Thayet leaves to use the latrine*
Alanna: Ok, bring in the real lunch.
Jon: The real lunch?
Alanna: Yeah. *Leaves then re-enters with a platter full of fresh sandwiches, exotic fruits and Daine brings in pitches full of water, lemonade, ale and wine*
Jon: Thay-
Alanna: Shut up you dimwit!
Jon: What? Thayet will want to know we are going to eat.
Daine: Don't you see the point of this? Weren't you at the briefing with the author?
Cleon: No, remember? He had important king's business to attend to.
Roger: That business would have been mine if not for her *jerks thumb at Alanna*
Alanna: You were going to kill Jon.
Roger: Duh.
Alanna: Well he's my prince. I serve him, idiot.
Roger: Well I really don't give a rat's ass about it, do I?
Kel: Give it a rest! You're giving me a headache!
Jon: What about a briefing with the author…
Alanna: Well I told you about it, remember? We're 'sposed to shame Thayet out of the house –
Me: HEY! You're not supposed to say that on AIR!
Dom: Air? What air? We breathe air!
Me: No, no, I mean, in front of the "camera", or the person who types this stuff up. (Me :P)
Joren: COULD WE JUST EAT? I'M HUNGRY!
Daine: That chicken head kind of put me off. I think I'll see how Thayet is doing. *Leaves*
Dom: Yah, me too.
Neal: Uh… me three.
Cleon: I think I'll go with Dom.
Delia: **no response**
Alanna: Delia? Delia? Where is she?
*Sticks head under the table*
Alanna: Ohhhhh. Jon, she's fainted.
Jon: Why should I care?!
Kel: I'm going to bed.
Joren: Well, if no one objects… *grabs platter and runs to room*
Roger: Oi! *Runs after him*
George: I'm hungry too! *Follows Roger*
*Everyone else leaves table too*
BEDROOM ONE
Joren: Mm, this is nice.
Roger (with mouth full): Good 'ood.
George: Uh huh.
*Little do they know that Alanna is just around the corner of Bedroom One with sword in hand waiting for the right moment to launch her attack*
Roger cocks his head. Roger: What was that noise?
Alanna (Leaping in for her attack): Hee YA!
Roger: Aaahhhhhh!
*Alanna promptly kills Roger with her sword*
Me: Alanna! You know what I told you before!
Alanna: But…
Me: NO! No excuses young lady!
Alanna: I am not a young lady! I'm a knight! I'm Sir/Lady Alanna of Trebond, King's Champion, Baroness of Pirate's Swoop, heir to Barony Olau!
Me: It doesn't matter! You could be the King's Queen for all I care!
Thayet (appearing out of nowhere): Hey! That's my title!
Alanna: Rack off Thayet!
Thayet (sulky): Fine then. *Disappears*
Me: You must go to the diary room now to confer with Big Brother!
Alanna: Aww…
Me: NOW!
DIARY ROOM
BB: Alanna. Alanna, Alanna, Alanna.
Alanna: What?
BB: You knew the rules.
Alanna: I did?
BB: But you broke the rules anyway.
Alanna: What rules?
BB: I have no choice in this matter.
Alanna: What bloody matter?!
BB: You are disqualified from the house.
Alanna (jumping to her feet): WHAT?!?!?!?!
BB: I told you, I have no choice.
Alanna: That's bull s***!
BB: NOW! Go pack your things and leave!
*Alanna sulks out of the room, turning around just before she leaves the door and pokes her tongue out at the glass screen that contains Big Brother*
BEDROOM ONE
Alanna (muttering): Stupid Big Brother why did I even come into this house in the first place whatever possessed me I could have saved money on a baby sitter for Mithros' sake…
Jon: You're leaving then?
Alanna: Yes. Got kicked out for killing Roger a third time.
Delia: Aw. Too bad Sir Alanna. I'll really miss you.
Alanna: Piss off Delia.
*Finishes packing and turns to Jon*
Alanna: This is something I've always wanted to do Jon. *Kisses Jon long and passionately.
Alanna: There.
Jon: **speechless**
Thayet: I knew it! I knew it I knew it I knew it!!!!
(A/N – Now that this has happened I just want everyone to know that I am a G/A fan, Jon is a prig. But hey, it's called a "twist in the tale")
Jon: Well, um, Thayet –
*Thayet runs off crying*
Alanna: Goodbye Jon.
*Disappears*
(Big Brother)
Everyone in the Common room.
*Everyone moves into Common room*
(BB) It is time for the eviction.
*Thayet and Jon (the remaining two) squirm in their seats*
3.1 It is time to go…
THAYET
Thayet: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jon: Oh, honey…
Delia: Good riddance. Hehehe now I can have Jonathan for myself *Muwahahahahaha!*
Thayet (crying): Oh Daine, Kel, my girls, I'll miss you oh so much!
Daine: I know Thayet.
Kel: Me too.
Numair: I'll see you round, Thayet.
Cleon: Byebye Your Highness.
Thayet (still crying): Bye Cleon.
Neal: Cya!
Dom: I'm more compassionate. Later!
George: I'm sorry Thayet. Give Alanna a spanking for me.
Thayet (grinning evilly): I will.
(BB) Time for you to go!
*Thayet disappears*
~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~
I am almost down loading Kaz's chapters and then I will begin my own, to which I need reviews so I shall know what you want of me, Master or Mistress. I am but you obedient slave for all eternity. *bows, bows, bows, bows*
Lady Alanna Salmalin of Conte, the Queen of Fluff