23 october 2003
You woke up really early this morning, it was like you knew. Like you knew what I had written down yesterday.
I never knew writing is so much easier than talking. I went to bed yesterday, just after I finished writing, and I was thinking about what I could tell you today about dad. The strange thing is; I couldn't think of anything. I went downstairs, talked to your mother, and I asked her if she knew something. She freaked out! She yelled at me; she said I should stop writing to you, it was nonsense, you would never read it, there was no use in doing it, and so on. She kept going on. I told her to shut up and went upstairs again. I made a little note for myself; fight. I opened this notebook, put the paper inside and I climbed into my bed. I fell asleep and you woke me up this morning, too early.
This day was strange. Weird. I'm glad it's over, a new day is waiting. I'll be leaving tomorrow, won't be seeing you for a long time. I've decided not to write to you every day. Only when I feel like telling something.
I can't stay here any longer. Your mother and I, we haven't spoken to eachother the whole day. I won't talk, if she won't talk, and I guess she feels the same way. Good. I can't be with you, if she is around. I love your mother, I do...but she can annoy me, really.
I'm gonna miss you though. I love you, for the past 2 months, I've been with you EVERY day. The next few months, I won't see you at all. I'll miss you so much. I hope you don't miss me too much, but if you do, blame your mother.
All these bad feelings, made me have something good to write about. Dad. These fights, moments of silence...I remember them. Dad and Jennifer. They were married, I was...4. They had been fighting ALL day. They started when I left for school, and I could tell by looking at my moms eyes, when I came home, they hadn't stopped yet. Dad told me not to worry and that comforted me, he had this...thing. In his eyes, in his voice, it just made me feel good. I wish you could have known what I mean. Just ask anyone who knows him, they'll know what I mean. Still I wish you'd know. He was such a great guy. Writing about him, makes me remembering him. I dig, dig for memories. Most of them are good, but not all.
That was enough for today. I'm tired. Need to catch an early flight tomorrow, so I'm gonna get some sleep.
I love you. I hope you'll have a good few months. I won't be able to tell you anything about the coming months, but as soon as I'm back...I will start again. I need to go.
Rachel
You woke up really early this morning, it was like you knew. Like you knew what I had written down yesterday.
I never knew writing is so much easier than talking. I went to bed yesterday, just after I finished writing, and I was thinking about what I could tell you today about dad. The strange thing is; I couldn't think of anything. I went downstairs, talked to your mother, and I asked her if she knew something. She freaked out! She yelled at me; she said I should stop writing to you, it was nonsense, you would never read it, there was no use in doing it, and so on. She kept going on. I told her to shut up and went upstairs again. I made a little note for myself; fight. I opened this notebook, put the paper inside and I climbed into my bed. I fell asleep and you woke me up this morning, too early.
This day was strange. Weird. I'm glad it's over, a new day is waiting. I'll be leaving tomorrow, won't be seeing you for a long time. I've decided not to write to you every day. Only when I feel like telling something.
I can't stay here any longer. Your mother and I, we haven't spoken to eachother the whole day. I won't talk, if she won't talk, and I guess she feels the same way. Good. I can't be with you, if she is around. I love your mother, I do...but she can annoy me, really.
I'm gonna miss you though. I love you, for the past 2 months, I've been with you EVERY day. The next few months, I won't see you at all. I'll miss you so much. I hope you don't miss me too much, but if you do, blame your mother.
All these bad feelings, made me have something good to write about. Dad. These fights, moments of silence...I remember them. Dad and Jennifer. They were married, I was...4. They had been fighting ALL day. They started when I left for school, and I could tell by looking at my moms eyes, when I came home, they hadn't stopped yet. Dad told me not to worry and that comforted me, he had this...thing. In his eyes, in his voice, it just made me feel good. I wish you could have known what I mean. Just ask anyone who knows him, they'll know what I mean. Still I wish you'd know. He was such a great guy. Writing about him, makes me remembering him. I dig, dig for memories. Most of them are good, but not all.
That was enough for today. I'm tired. Need to catch an early flight tomorrow, so I'm gonna get some sleep.
I love you. I hope you'll have a good few months. I won't be able to tell you anything about the coming months, but as soon as I'm back...I will start again. I need to go.
Rachel