Title: Fly
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: Teach me tonight
Rating: PG
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: Jess is back home after the accident and he longs for
Rory. All of this ends in a letter.
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
-----------------------------------------------
New York
Night came with all its glory.
The stars were thrown clear across the sky and brought with them
the powerful moon.
I look at them now searching for something I long for:
peace.
My soul feels so weary tonight.
I want to sleep but I know I can't.
She occupies my senses.
It's amazing.
Even thought we are miles apart it still sometimes feels like she
is here beside me.
I talk to her.
I know, it sounds silly.
But the thought that she is here beside me, listening, brings
my soul the comfort it needs.
I have tried to call her.
I have picked up the phone so many times during the past weeks only
to put it down again.
It's not that I don't want to talk to her.
God, I don't want anything else.
But it's just that I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that she will hate me.
Or maybe that she has forgotten about me.
That she has brushed me a side.
I know that I have no claim to her.
She doesn't belong to me.
I wouldn't call us friends.
We are something else.
Something in between.
But now everything is ruined.
What we might have some day is forever gone.
I wasn't prepared for that thunderstorm that struck me that night.
She had just been someone out of reach for me.
But that didn't stop me from wanting her.
That night something changed.
I saw something there that wasn't there before.
I saw longing in her eyes.
She made me smile again.
She told me that she believed in me.
I sat there beside her with my hands screaming out to touch her.
But I ruined everything that night.
I know that they blame me.
I blame me.
I caused her pain.
A broken arm.
It could have been worse.
Much worse.
I don't want to think about what if.
I move away from the window and lay down on the bed.
It seems it happen only yesterday.
Two weeks has passed since I left Stars Hollow.
I wanted to go.
I couldn't stay.
He couldn't let me stay.
I know that now.
I don't blame him.
He has stood up for me when no one else would.
All of this is my fault.
I should have gone back to the diner.
I should have kept my mind of her.
But all I could do is to feel joy that she finally saw me.
That she wanted to be with me.
I ruined it all.
Now I'm back here were I started.
Lost in a city that never sleeps.
I have tried to drive her out of my heart.
Sometimes I even manage to convince my heart that she is no one.
Just another.
No one.
But I always crumble.
I have never felt like this before.
This lost.
It scares me.
I fear losing grip.
To fall.
But I know that I should surrender this battle.
I have already lost.
She has my heart.
I reach for a pen and paper.
I start to write those words that scream inside of me.
"I know that I might never see you again.
I fear that I will never see you again.
There is so much I want to tell you.
So many words left to say.
But first I have to say something.
I'm sorry.
I never meant anything like this to happen.
I know that they blame me.
I blame me.
Sometimes I wish I could take it all back.
But I can't and that hurts me more than anything does.
I don't really know if you ever will read this.
That you want to.
But I need to say this.
I have kept this inside for far to long.
Sometimes I think I will go mad if I don't tell you this.
I have never known anyone like you.
I remember when we first met.
I was so angry then.
At the world, at anyone that tried to get close to me.
But you were like an angel that stepped into my life when I need
someone to guide me.
You were the light in the darkness.
For that I thank you.
You saved me.
You saved me from myself.
And I don't know what to say to let you know how much that means
to me.
I tried to be friends with you.
But I know that I can't do that.
I wish I could.
But I want something more.
Something I know that you are not prepared to give me.
Not yet.
I tried to keep my feelings for you at bay.
Believe me I tried.
I have never worked as hard as I did to not let it show.
But I failed.
I can see that now.
I have surrendered.
I'm well aware that I can't have you.
That you are not mine to win.
Maybe you will never be mine.
But I will keep hoping.
As I'm sitting here far away from you all I can
see is your lovely face.
You don't know how lovely you are.
I wish you could see how beautiful you are.
So perfect.
Angel, that is what you are.
You have given me a peace of heaven.
And for that I thank you.
Yours forever,
Jess "
I lay down my pen and let my hand run over the paper.
For a moment I prayed it would carry my message to her.
That it would whisper the words I didn't dare to speak out load.
That I loved her.
Those three small words that scared me so.
I have never been in love so how will I know that these feelings
I have inside is love.
That they are right.
Sometimes I wish that there were a map I could follow or some
rules that could guide me on my way.
But there are nothing.
I'm left here complete alone.
My hands are shaking as I fold the letter and put it in an envelope.
I pray that this letter will find her whereever she is and that
it will find her well.
I lay down on my bed and close my eyes.
I let my dreams carry me away to a place far away from here.
--------------------------------------------
FEEDBACK-------j_rothen@yahoo.se
Part two is coming....Soon..
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: Teach me tonight
Rating: PG
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: Jess is back home after the accident and he longs for
Rory. All of this ends in a letter.
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
-----------------------------------------------
New York
Night came with all its glory.
The stars were thrown clear across the sky and brought with them
the powerful moon.
I look at them now searching for something I long for:
peace.
My soul feels so weary tonight.
I want to sleep but I know I can't.
She occupies my senses.
It's amazing.
Even thought we are miles apart it still sometimes feels like she
is here beside me.
I talk to her.
I know, it sounds silly.
But the thought that she is here beside me, listening, brings
my soul the comfort it needs.
I have tried to call her.
I have picked up the phone so many times during the past weeks only
to put it down again.
It's not that I don't want to talk to her.
God, I don't want anything else.
But it's just that I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that she will hate me.
Or maybe that she has forgotten about me.
That she has brushed me a side.
I know that I have no claim to her.
She doesn't belong to me.
I wouldn't call us friends.
We are something else.
Something in between.
But now everything is ruined.
What we might have some day is forever gone.
I wasn't prepared for that thunderstorm that struck me that night.
She had just been someone out of reach for me.
But that didn't stop me from wanting her.
That night something changed.
I saw something there that wasn't there before.
I saw longing in her eyes.
She made me smile again.
She told me that she believed in me.
I sat there beside her with my hands screaming out to touch her.
But I ruined everything that night.
I know that they blame me.
I blame me.
I caused her pain.
A broken arm.
It could have been worse.
Much worse.
I don't want to think about what if.
I move away from the window and lay down on the bed.
It seems it happen only yesterday.
Two weeks has passed since I left Stars Hollow.
I wanted to go.
I couldn't stay.
He couldn't let me stay.
I know that now.
I don't blame him.
He has stood up for me when no one else would.
All of this is my fault.
I should have gone back to the diner.
I should have kept my mind of her.
But all I could do is to feel joy that she finally saw me.
That she wanted to be with me.
I ruined it all.
Now I'm back here were I started.
Lost in a city that never sleeps.
I have tried to drive her out of my heart.
Sometimes I even manage to convince my heart that she is no one.
Just another.
No one.
But I always crumble.
I have never felt like this before.
This lost.
It scares me.
I fear losing grip.
To fall.
But I know that I should surrender this battle.
I have already lost.
She has my heart.
I reach for a pen and paper.
I start to write those words that scream inside of me.
"I know that I might never see you again.
I fear that I will never see you again.
There is so much I want to tell you.
So many words left to say.
But first I have to say something.
I'm sorry.
I never meant anything like this to happen.
I know that they blame me.
I blame me.
Sometimes I wish I could take it all back.
But I can't and that hurts me more than anything does.
I don't really know if you ever will read this.
That you want to.
But I need to say this.
I have kept this inside for far to long.
Sometimes I think I will go mad if I don't tell you this.
I have never known anyone like you.
I remember when we first met.
I was so angry then.
At the world, at anyone that tried to get close to me.
But you were like an angel that stepped into my life when I need
someone to guide me.
You were the light in the darkness.
For that I thank you.
You saved me.
You saved me from myself.
And I don't know what to say to let you know how much that means
to me.
I tried to be friends with you.
But I know that I can't do that.
I wish I could.
But I want something more.
Something I know that you are not prepared to give me.
Not yet.
I tried to keep my feelings for you at bay.
Believe me I tried.
I have never worked as hard as I did to not let it show.
But I failed.
I can see that now.
I have surrendered.
I'm well aware that I can't have you.
That you are not mine to win.
Maybe you will never be mine.
But I will keep hoping.
As I'm sitting here far away from you all I can
see is your lovely face.
You don't know how lovely you are.
I wish you could see how beautiful you are.
So perfect.
Angel, that is what you are.
You have given me a peace of heaven.
And for that I thank you.
Yours forever,
Jess "
I lay down my pen and let my hand run over the paper.
For a moment I prayed it would carry my message to her.
That it would whisper the words I didn't dare to speak out load.
That I loved her.
Those three small words that scared me so.
I have never been in love so how will I know that these feelings
I have inside is love.
That they are right.
Sometimes I wish that there were a map I could follow or some
rules that could guide me on my way.
But there are nothing.
I'm left here complete alone.
My hands are shaking as I fold the letter and put it in an envelope.
I pray that this letter will find her whereever she is and that
it will find her well.
I lay down on my bed and close my eyes.
I let my dreams carry me away to a place far away from here.
--------------------------------------------
FEEDBACK-------j_rothen@yahoo.se
Part two is coming....Soon..