A Different Perspective-Chapter 6
Okay, I'm gonna keep this authors note short and sweet here. I hope that people read this b/c I know I'm posting it like right before Christmas. See, I don't do the traditional Christmas thing. I go to the movies and eat at Chinese restaurants…lol. (I don't celebrate Christmas if u didn't get that by now.) Ok I'll shut up…please read and review, thanks.
Disclaimer: The only character I own in the story is Jessica. The rest belong to NBC and Warner Bros. And whoever else…
Things between my mother and me kind of went down hill from that point, for a while. She began to only speak to me when absolutely necessary, making life together awkward. The tense situation was noticeable to all who were close to us. However, no matter how hard they tried to help us mend our broken relationship, nothing seemed to work. Finally, everyone just gave up on us. The scary part of it all was that my mother had given up long before then. That made me feel very unsettled. I had never known her to give up on anything before. And the fact that I was the one to cause her to surrender—that was a lot to take. I felt so guilty at times that I couldn't even stand to look at her. It reminded me too much of what I had done. However, I couldn't figure out a way to genuinely apologize because, in reality, I didn't want to. I felt that my actions were justified. After all, it wasn't my fault that I was born.
Due to the awkward home situation, I spent a lot of my time out of the house. If I wasn't out with friends, I was trying to make Chandler feel better after his breakup with Kathy. He eventually got over her, of course, but it took a while. He felt that he had been the one who ruined the relationship, since, Kathy did cheat on him, but he also accused her of doing so before hand. I don't think he's to blame though. I mean the woman didn't have to cheat on him. But everything works out for the best.
Meanwhile, as Chandler was tending to his broken heart, Ross was making plans of his own. He had met this British girl, Emily, and the two quickly became engaged. Everyone, aside from Ross, knew that it was a bad idea. He had been moving far too quickly. Still, no one said anything because they didn't want to hurt his feelings. I would've said something, but I didn't want my uncle to be mad at me, too. Besides, I wasn't that close with him anyway. I didn't mind Emily that much. She rarely even acknowledged my presence, especially after she caught Chandler and me mocking her British accent. Actually, it wasn't mocking. We were having fun speaking like an English person. However, she failed to see the humor in it. She definitely didn't have a very good sense of humor.
Very soon after their engagement, they arranged the wedding, which was to be held in London. I was actually incredibly excited to go to London. I never really got to travel before. The only plane ride I had ever taken was to Florida to visit my great grandmother. Not a very exciting trip, although we did get to have dinner everyday at 4 PM to, in the words of my great grandmother, "catch the early bird specials". There was definitely nothing special about those early birds to me. Of course, London wasn't that great in the long run, because I ended up being the babysitter for all of the little kids there. Don't ask me how I got that job. It was not fun. Anyway, Chandler, Joey, my mother, and me all flew to London. Phoebe didn't go because she was pregnant with her brother's babies. Okay, that's not as weird as it sounds. See, she was just the surrogate mother. And Rachel didn't go because she claimed she thought it would be awkward for her, but really it was because she was still in love with Ross. Later, she came, trying to stop the wedding, but didn't do it. Not that she needed to do anything. Ross ruined it all by himself because he ended up saying Rachel's name in the ceremony, in place of Emily's. My uncle may be smart, but he has to watch what he says. A lot of time his words get him into a lot of trouble with women.
Once we got home from London, both my mother and Chandler began acting incredibly strange around each other. Always making up excuses to get away and be together. They couldn't fool me for a second though. It was obvious to me that they were together. I mean I would wake up at night and peek out my door and see Chandler sneak into my mother's room. They must've thought I was really dumb. I was glad that they were together because they seemed very happy, but I was also insulted that I wasn't told about it. Okay, so maybe I didn't expect my mother to say anything, since we barely spoke. But Chandler—he was lying to my face! One day, I decided to confront him.
"Chandler," I said forcefully as I barged into his apartment.
He was just sitting in his lounge chair watching television.
"Hey kid, what's up?"
"I want the truth!"
"About what?"
"About what you've been up to lately. Come on, you either tell me now or I confront you in front of the rest of the gang. Would you like that?"
"Confront me about what?" He asked, rising from his chair.
"Don't play dumb with me. If you can't be honest with me, than I don't want to speak to you again."
Okay, now I admit that I was definitely being unreasonable, but at that time I felt I had a right to know about it.
"Ya know, I don't have to tell you everything about my life," he informed me coldly.
I was shocked by his words. I didn't think he would keep the secret from me, if I accused him. Especially not use that tone with me.
"Good, don't," I told him as I exited his apartment. I was fuming at that point. If he couldn't be honest than me, then what was the point of even speaking to him?
It was about two hours later when he entered my apartment. He sat down next to me on the sofa, where I was watching television. I didn't avert my attention from the television, or even acknowledge his presence.
"Jess…"
"I don't want to hear it. I mean if you can't be honest with me, then why should I be honest with you?"
"You know what?" he asked, his anger building, "You're acting just like your mother acted towards you."
"What?" I asked, extremely baffled, "What are you talking about?!"
"Your mother was upset that you wouldn't talk to her about important things in your life, right?"
"Yeah, but…"
"No buts," he interrupted, "This is the exact same thing. You're angry because you expect me to tell you everything. Now that I haven't done so, you're insulted."
"Stop it! You don't know what you're talking about!"
"I know exactly what I'm talking about. And you know it, too."
"Get the hell away from me!" I told him angrily. Boy, did I hate to be proven wrong. Although his accusations were correct, there was absolutely no way that I was going to listen to him.
"You know I'm right!"
"Get out!" I shrieked as I ran into my room and slammed the door. Immediately I fell onto my bed and cried into my pillow. I felt that Chandler had turned on me. He was the only one left on my side, and now he was against me, too. At that moment, I felt completely alone in the world.
About an hour later, there was a knock on my door.
"Go away," I warned. I didn't want to talk to anybody, especially not to Chandler.
To my dismay, the door was opened anyway.
"Uch, I need a damn lock," I commented angrily as I noticed my mother walk inside. She sat down beside me on the bed, but didn't face me. She was just silent for about a minute.
"Do you want something?" I asked bitterly.
"Yes. I…uh…I want to talk to you about something, but you have to keep it a secret."
"Okay?"
"I know you know about Chandler and me."
I nodded, letting her know that I, indeed, knew what she was referring to.
"Well, we're both sorry for not telling you before, but we didn't know if it would work out between us. We just wanted to figure some things out on our own before we involved other people. You have to understand that that is the only reason Chandler kept our secret from you."
I looked away, defeated. "I know that."
I realized that it was the truth. Besides, they both were happy together, therefore I should be happy, too. Besides, I had always secretly wanted them to get together. I mean it could be almost like a family for me. I, however, scolded myself for thinking that way. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I mean they had only been together for a short period of time.
"Then you should let him know because he's very upset right now."
It was a strange situation for me at that moment. I realized that things seemed to be backwards. Normally, it was Chandler comforting me and telling me to apologize to my mother, not the other way around.
"Yeah. I will. So are you two dating or what?"
My mother smiled, "Yeah we are."
"It's about time," I joked as she put her arm around me.
"I like this," she commented suddenly, "I like talking to you. I miss that."
"Yeah, me too."
"Do you think we could maybe try to work past those problems we have?"
"I hope so."
She smiled and nodded, "Good. Go see Chandler, okay?"
"Kay."
I watched her leave my room, and I couldn't keep away the small smile that formed on my lips. That was the first time, that I could remember, that my mother and I worked things out between us. Perhaps there was a way to get rid of that guilt I felt after all.
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