Love 101, Lesson 3: Don't let 'em see ya sweat.
It's only six forty-five and I'm already breaking out in hives. I stand in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around my waist, trying to steady the razor in my hand. Yet again, I knick my chin. At least that was the last stroke. I run the foamy razor under the stream of water and place it back in the cabinet. Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm disgusted. I shake my head, and leave the bathroom. I walk into my bedroom and rid myself of the towel. Standing naked as a jay bird, someone knocks on the door. It never fails, as soon as I'm nude somebody wants something.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, it's me....you decent?", Vince asks through the door.
"No, but has that ever stopped you before?", I slip some boxers on as he barges in right on cue.
"You ready?"", he grins.
"Does it look like I'm ready?", I growl looking through hanger after hanger of shirts.
"Are you excited?", he clasps then rubs his hands together, smiling. I stop and look at him blankly. His face drops.
"Oh, yeah.....I'm REAL excited about getting rejected", I spit sarcastically.
"Come on man, it's not gonna be that bad....", he pleads.
"Yeah, not for you it isn't", I mumble under my breath.
"Look at me......I'm half naked and I'm already sweating like ice cream on Crenshaw.....fuck", I mumble towards him still rifling through my closet. I finally find a shirt and grab my pants hanging from the hook on the back of the door, as he jets out my door. I slip on the pants, then a white under shirt, then a button up shirt. Did I put deo on? I smell my pits, and find that I did. Just as I begin to reluctantly put my socks on Vince reappears again with two fistfulls of tissue.
"What's that for?", I stand placing my feet in my boots, lookinf at him extremely confused.
"This......is gonna help you", his eyes gleam in a really freaky way.
"What, are we gonna stuff my bra?", I ask jokingly still confused. He rolls his eyes in dimissal, and walks closer to me. I stare at him in bewilderment as he begins to button my shirt for me.
"Look V, I appreciate the help in all, but....", I begin not really aware of what the hell he's doing. He just shushes me, working frantically with the buttons. He's still got that 'gone off the deep end' look in his eyes. He buttons me leaving four on the top loose. He then violently raises my arms in the air, causing me to wince a little. He then proceeds to stuff the paper into the armpits of my undershirt. He steps back and smiles widely at me.
"There", he beams. I look at him wearily. I look down at the bulges under my arms. They're not THAT noticible, but they're uncomfortable. I look at his chipper face, and feel bad for giving him such a hard time. He's just trying to help, Dom. He runs over to my desk and grabs a bottle of cologn, seeing my still frowning face. He sprays me wildy catching my eye. He then stands back and looks at me again as if he was an artist admiring his latest work of art. I stand for his apporval rubbing my burning eye.
"You look great man!", he gleams, and I swear I can almost see a tear in his eye.
"Thanks", I sigh.
"Let's go", he opens the door and walks out with me behind. With that the night began. Waiting for us in Vince's car were two very leggy, very scantily clad redheads. I smile and greet them both as Vince introduces us. Arriving at the resturant, we sit in a booth. The conversation is pitiful, as expected. Lena and Terri are very interested in themselves. Lena loves candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach, and bunny rabbits. Terri enjoys working out, swimming, and puppies. Judging by their vocabulary so far, it would be pointless to ask them their favorite classic. I just stare at them in amazement. How can one person have so much to say about nothing? Vince kicks me in the shin underneath the table and I'm forced to listen to their brainless rambling. Did she actually just say that she wants to own a money printing factory? Vince nods along with each idiotic comment and encourages me to do the same. I could be at home right now, with Letty. I could be at HOME........WITH Letty. Dinner finally arrives and the girls pick at their scarce salads, while Vince and I actually consume a whole meal. I can't help but compare their every movements to Letty. It's wrong, I know, but it doesn't stop me. If you hadn't noticed, I've remained silent the entire dinner. We finish and the waiter comes to take our plates. This is were things always go awry. Vince gets the check and we get back in the car to leave. I always have to drive on the way home, so that Vince can engae himself in foreplay on the back seat. Terri sits up front with me and I can feel her expectant eyes boring holes in my body. Giggling at the sounds of lust comming from the other couple, she places a hand on my thigh. I can instantly feel my grip on the wheel slide from the increased prespiration. My body stiffens, but not from arousel. She slides that acrylic nailed hand up my chest and around the back of my neck. She leans over and gently places her lips on my ear, as I swerve in my lane.
"Relax", she whispers. I'm sure she can hear my heart pounding through my chest, as I pull away from her a little. She slacks of for a moment, but then returns those lips to my ears.
"I won't bite", she whispers. I pull away again, more clearly this time, but she persist and slips a hand into my pants. Whoa, that's too much. I pull her hand away from the package and place it back in her lap. She laughs softly as I keep both hands at ten and two, watching the road. She leans over again, and I decide that I can't take anymore of this.
"Look, Terri, you're a nice girl but it's not gonna happen tonight", I tell her dryly. I can practically hear her pancaked face drop. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her staring at me coldly. I pull into my driveway and turn the car off. Am I in the wrong here? I didn't lead her on. She's the one that just assumed I would jump her bones. Nonetheless, she's mad and/or hurt and that makes me feel like scum. I glance in the reirview and wait to catch Vince's eye so that I can get out and forget this night.
"You know, I heard you were a prude, but........ you know I heard you were a virgin too", she says spitefully. I look at her hate-filled eyes sharply, giving her all the confirmation she needs. Vince starts to pull away from Lena and they start to crawl out of the back seat.
"Ha....I knew it.....how pathetic......I bet your even a inch worm", Terri laughs smuggly as I wait for Vince to compose himself. She starts ranting about how sad I am, and my mind is screaming to get out of the car, but as a general rule, I never walk away when someone's talking too me. I can't take this anymore.
"Terri, I'm sorry you feel that way.....have a nice evening", I blurt quickly and nearly jump out of the car. I pat Vince on the shoulder and tell him to call me tommorow, but I doubt he heard me. I run for dear life to the door, and collapse against it once I'm inside. I felt like I was suffocating in that car with her yelling at me. With all the perfume in the air, I probably was. I have got to get better at this. I try to slow my breathing and heart rate. I catch my breath and place my head in my hands. She was right. Look at me. I just ran away from a beautiful woman and gauranteed sex. Why does this always happen to me? What did I do that was so horrible to deserve this. I'm cursed, and destined to be alone indefinately. I sigh hard and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I just want to go to bed and forget about everything. If I were a drinker, I'd be on my fifth bottle of Absolute by now. Maybe I could become a drinker. MAybe that would make people respect me. I'm too tired to analyze all this shit tonight. I stand, determined to sleep my worries away. My mom always said everything is always better the next day. As soon as my foot hits the first step, a small petite figure fills the hall.
"Hey", Letty smiles.
"You're home.....I've been trying to watch this movie...it's weird.....if you're not too tired I was gonna ask you if you'd mind explaining it to me", she says softly, scrunching her face, and sliding her thumbs through her belt loops.
Did I say I was tired? Cause all of a sudden I feel like I could run a marathon.
It's only six forty-five and I'm already breaking out in hives. I stand in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around my waist, trying to steady the razor in my hand. Yet again, I knick my chin. At least that was the last stroke. I run the foamy razor under the stream of water and place it back in the cabinet. Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm disgusted. I shake my head, and leave the bathroom. I walk into my bedroom and rid myself of the towel. Standing naked as a jay bird, someone knocks on the door. It never fails, as soon as I'm nude somebody wants something.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, it's me....you decent?", Vince asks through the door.
"No, but has that ever stopped you before?", I slip some boxers on as he barges in right on cue.
"You ready?"", he grins.
"Does it look like I'm ready?", I growl looking through hanger after hanger of shirts.
"Are you excited?", he clasps then rubs his hands together, smiling. I stop and look at him blankly. His face drops.
"Oh, yeah.....I'm REAL excited about getting rejected", I spit sarcastically.
"Come on man, it's not gonna be that bad....", he pleads.
"Yeah, not for you it isn't", I mumble under my breath.
"Look at me......I'm half naked and I'm already sweating like ice cream on Crenshaw.....fuck", I mumble towards him still rifling through my closet. I finally find a shirt and grab my pants hanging from the hook on the back of the door, as he jets out my door. I slip on the pants, then a white under shirt, then a button up shirt. Did I put deo on? I smell my pits, and find that I did. Just as I begin to reluctantly put my socks on Vince reappears again with two fistfulls of tissue.
"What's that for?", I stand placing my feet in my boots, lookinf at him extremely confused.
"This......is gonna help you", his eyes gleam in a really freaky way.
"What, are we gonna stuff my bra?", I ask jokingly still confused. He rolls his eyes in dimissal, and walks closer to me. I stare at him in bewilderment as he begins to button my shirt for me.
"Look V, I appreciate the help in all, but....", I begin not really aware of what the hell he's doing. He just shushes me, working frantically with the buttons. He's still got that 'gone off the deep end' look in his eyes. He buttons me leaving four on the top loose. He then violently raises my arms in the air, causing me to wince a little. He then proceeds to stuff the paper into the armpits of my undershirt. He steps back and smiles widely at me.
"There", he beams. I look at him wearily. I look down at the bulges under my arms. They're not THAT noticible, but they're uncomfortable. I look at his chipper face, and feel bad for giving him such a hard time. He's just trying to help, Dom. He runs over to my desk and grabs a bottle of cologn, seeing my still frowning face. He sprays me wildy catching my eye. He then stands back and looks at me again as if he was an artist admiring his latest work of art. I stand for his apporval rubbing my burning eye.
"You look great man!", he gleams, and I swear I can almost see a tear in his eye.
"Thanks", I sigh.
"Let's go", he opens the door and walks out with me behind. With that the night began. Waiting for us in Vince's car were two very leggy, very scantily clad redheads. I smile and greet them both as Vince introduces us. Arriving at the resturant, we sit in a booth. The conversation is pitiful, as expected. Lena and Terri are very interested in themselves. Lena loves candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach, and bunny rabbits. Terri enjoys working out, swimming, and puppies. Judging by their vocabulary so far, it would be pointless to ask them their favorite classic. I just stare at them in amazement. How can one person have so much to say about nothing? Vince kicks me in the shin underneath the table and I'm forced to listen to their brainless rambling. Did she actually just say that she wants to own a money printing factory? Vince nods along with each idiotic comment and encourages me to do the same. I could be at home right now, with Letty. I could be at HOME........WITH Letty. Dinner finally arrives and the girls pick at their scarce salads, while Vince and I actually consume a whole meal. I can't help but compare their every movements to Letty. It's wrong, I know, but it doesn't stop me. If you hadn't noticed, I've remained silent the entire dinner. We finish and the waiter comes to take our plates. This is were things always go awry. Vince gets the check and we get back in the car to leave. I always have to drive on the way home, so that Vince can engae himself in foreplay on the back seat. Terri sits up front with me and I can feel her expectant eyes boring holes in my body. Giggling at the sounds of lust comming from the other couple, she places a hand on my thigh. I can instantly feel my grip on the wheel slide from the increased prespiration. My body stiffens, but not from arousel. She slides that acrylic nailed hand up my chest and around the back of my neck. She leans over and gently places her lips on my ear, as I swerve in my lane.
"Relax", she whispers. I'm sure she can hear my heart pounding through my chest, as I pull away from her a little. She slacks of for a moment, but then returns those lips to my ears.
"I won't bite", she whispers. I pull away again, more clearly this time, but she persist and slips a hand into my pants. Whoa, that's too much. I pull her hand away from the package and place it back in her lap. She laughs softly as I keep both hands at ten and two, watching the road. She leans over again, and I decide that I can't take anymore of this.
"Look, Terri, you're a nice girl but it's not gonna happen tonight", I tell her dryly. I can practically hear her pancaked face drop. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her staring at me coldly. I pull into my driveway and turn the car off. Am I in the wrong here? I didn't lead her on. She's the one that just assumed I would jump her bones. Nonetheless, she's mad and/or hurt and that makes me feel like scum. I glance in the reirview and wait to catch Vince's eye so that I can get out and forget this night.
"You know, I heard you were a prude, but........ you know I heard you were a virgin too", she says spitefully. I look at her hate-filled eyes sharply, giving her all the confirmation she needs. Vince starts to pull away from Lena and they start to crawl out of the back seat.
"Ha....I knew it.....how pathetic......I bet your even a inch worm", Terri laughs smuggly as I wait for Vince to compose himself. She starts ranting about how sad I am, and my mind is screaming to get out of the car, but as a general rule, I never walk away when someone's talking too me. I can't take this anymore.
"Terri, I'm sorry you feel that way.....have a nice evening", I blurt quickly and nearly jump out of the car. I pat Vince on the shoulder and tell him to call me tommorow, but I doubt he heard me. I run for dear life to the door, and collapse against it once I'm inside. I felt like I was suffocating in that car with her yelling at me. With all the perfume in the air, I probably was. I have got to get better at this. I try to slow my breathing and heart rate. I catch my breath and place my head in my hands. She was right. Look at me. I just ran away from a beautiful woman and gauranteed sex. Why does this always happen to me? What did I do that was so horrible to deserve this. I'm cursed, and destined to be alone indefinately. I sigh hard and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I just want to go to bed and forget about everything. If I were a drinker, I'd be on my fifth bottle of Absolute by now. Maybe I could become a drinker. MAybe that would make people respect me. I'm too tired to analyze all this shit tonight. I stand, determined to sleep my worries away. My mom always said everything is always better the next day. As soon as my foot hits the first step, a small petite figure fills the hall.
"Hey", Letty smiles.
"You're home.....I've been trying to watch this movie...it's weird.....if you're not too tired I was gonna ask you if you'd mind explaining it to me", she says softly, scrunching her face, and sliding her thumbs through her belt loops.
Did I say I was tired? Cause all of a sudden I feel like I could run a marathon.