October 18, 2001

Week 22

The break in had left a deep imprint on Randi's mind. Asides from the scar on her breast and belly, there were scars inside. She had gotten quieter. She was afraid to be home alone. The attack had brought Randi and their unborn daughter closer. Randi was having more doubts than ever on the whole adoption thing. How could she give the baby up that had gone through all of this with her? But today, they were looking at the profiles that Mrs. Greyson had given them last month.

The break in had also left a mark on Dave. He was terrified to leave Randi and the baby alone anywhere. He felt guilty that he hadn't finished up his cases earlier. He felt earlier that he didn't speed home. After this, he had realized how dear Randi and the baby wee to his heart. How could he give this baby up? Randi wanted to so he would as much as it pained him.

Randi sat on the couch looking through the profiles. These people were going to be the parents of their daughter. She bit her lip. It hurt her so much to be doing this. Maybe...maybe we could convert the game room into a nursery. She sighed.

"Are we going to name her?" Dave blurted out. Randi looked at him.

"We can." She said rubbing her belly. Dave nodded slowly, "If we do...I want to wait until we see her...and hold her."

"You want to hold her?" Dave asked.

"Of course I do!" Randi cried. "Don't I get that much? I carry her around for nine months. Can't I see what she looks like? What the baby we created look like?"

"Randi, of course." He said, "I just...Didnt and this to be harder for you than it already is."

"Well... it's going to be." Randi snapped. She got up and walked off. Dave sighed heavily. She had been getting more and more moody lately.

Randi slowly walked down the hallway to the game room. She opened it up and looked in. A pinball machine, a pool table, a dartboard, and a shelf filled with magazines and books. This room could so easily turned into a nursery. Take out the pinball machine and put in a crib. Take out the pool table and put down a nice rug. Take out the dartboard and put up pictures. She could clear the magazines off the shelf and put up children books.

Randi sighed heavily. Someday this apartment would be filled with the pitter-patter of little feet, but this baby was not going to be the one. She turned and walked back into the living room. Dave was still looking through the profiles. She sat next to him.

"When do you want to have a baby?" Randi asked. He looked at her.

"Well, I think we're having one in eighteen weeks." DAVE said.

"No...I mean, one that we'll keep. One that'll have the Malucci name." Randi said grabbing a profile, "Never mind. When we're ready we'll have one."

"Right." Dave said trying to read her face. Maybe this adoption was more painful for her than he initially thought. He sighed.

"These people seem nice.' Randi said glancing at a paper, "Alexander and Andrea Cabott. Alexander is a doctor over at Mercy and Andrea is a nurse. She is unable to have kids." Randi handed him them the profile.

"Went to some nice of schools." He mumbled reading their credentials. "They have a five-year-old Asian kid that they adopted when he was a newborn. They volunteer a lot."

"I like them." Randi stated. Dave nodded.

"They seem pretty right. Want to give their number to Greyson and see if they want to meet and get to know each other?" Dave looked at his Fiancée. She nodded.

"Yeah."

* * *

The Cabotts wanted to meet. Mrs. Greyson had arranged for the families to meet the next day. Randi grew nervous as they walked down the street to the cafe where they agreed to meet. The October breeze bit at her exposed skin. She pulled her jacket tight around her belly.

"I think that's them." Dave pointed to a couple who was sitting just inside the door of the cafe. When they saw Randi and Dave, they stood up with huge smiles on them. Randi nodded and took a deep breath in.

"Miranda? David?" Alexander Cabott walked up to them. Dave smiled and extended his hand.

"Alexander, please to meet you." He said. Andrea joined her husband.

"Oh Miranda!" Andrea smiled looking at her belly. Randi bit her lip and squeezed Dave's hand.

"Why don't we all go sit down?" Dave suggested. They nodded and sat down. Almost instantly, Andrea and Alexander started to talk. They talked about their pasts and their plans for the future. They talked about everything they've done with their son and why they wanted another baby. Randi and Dave did the same. They discussed their shady pasts and what they hoped for for the future.

"Miranda, I am so sorry about your lose of the other twin." Andrea frowned.

"Oh...It's all right." Randi said quietly.

"I've had three miscarriages." Andrea said, "It's really hard. I think about them every night and I know you do as well." Dave looked at Randi.

"Do you?" He asked. Randi glanced at him and nodded slowly. Dave's heart pained even more discovering this fact. Andrea smiled weakly.

"You know, what helped me was to give them names and a memorial." Andrea said

"A memorial?" Randi asked.

"Yes. A plaque at the graveyard. It gave me a little closure." Andrea said, "Britney, Robin, and Steven." Randi stared at the table. Alexander cleared his throat.

"So...We would love to be able to see more of you." Alexander said, "and hopefully have you choose us, but we understand that this is a difficult decision, but if you'd like you could come over for supper one evening to see our house and meet our son." Dave nodded.

"Yes. Thank you. That would be great." Alexander scrawled their phone number on a napkin.

"I am sorry t cut this short but Paul gets out of school in a half-hour." Alexander said. Dave and Randi stood up and shook their hands.

"Quiet all right." Dave said, "I'll give you a call later."

"Thank you. It was nice meeting the two of you." Andrea smiled. Dave and Randi stood there watching them leave. Dave threw a twenty on the table to pay for the bill as Randi slid on her jacket.

"I never knew you still thought about the baby." Dave said quietly wrapping his arm around her. Randi nodded swallowing hard.

"I always think about it. I...wonder what it would be like to be pregnant with twins." Randi said sadly, "I cry almost everyday." Dave stopped in his tracks and looked at her.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" He asked. Randi lowered her eyes.

"I didn't want to upset you." She said.

"Randi, You have to be open with me. I want to know when things hurt you. I want to be able help you through it, but I cant if you're closed off."

"I-I'm sorry." She said, "Can...Can we do what Andrea said? Give the baby a name and a memorial?"

"Of course, Randi.' Dave said kissing her forehead

"Do you...ever think about it?" Dave nodded.

"I often do." He snaked his arm around her waist, "But I have to try to think positively or I'll get dragged down into a hole of depression." Randi nodded. They didn't speak the rest of the way until they started t discus names and what they should write on the memorial.

In memory of

Aaron Justin Malucci

Who didn't get a chance to experience life

****

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