November 1, 2001

Week 24

Randi slowly wrapped the bathrobe around her. Her belly pushed out of it slightly. She stared at herself in the floor length mirror Dave put up last week. Besides the obvious, she looked pregnant. Her skin was blotchy. She had bags under her eyes and she had stretch marks.

Randi let the bathrobe fall to the floor as she stared at herself. She traced her finger along the pink scar along the top of her breast. That would be a constant reminder of how she almost lost her life last month.

Randi continued to stare at herself. Her breasts were large. They were filled with the milk that her daughter would never be able to taste. Her hands fell to her belly. Stretch marks reached from her back to almost her belly button. Speaking of which, her belly button was a complete outie. She thought it looked disgusting. Her legs started to get varicose veins all over them. How could Dave think she was beautiful?

The past month Randi had been engulfed in a fit of depression. She claimed it was because of the attack, but Randi knew the real reason. Her time was almost up. The time she could spend with her daughter was almost up and then the baby would be taken from her again. First the miscarriage and now this.

Dave and Randi decided to name the baby that was in Heaven Aaron Justin. Dave chose Aaron from the Bible. Aaron was the brother of Moses, appointed by God to be his brother's keeper and Dave thought this was good for he believed Aaron would protect and be with their daughter through her life. Randi chose Justin because of a stupid reason she thought. She was flipping through a magazine and saw Justin Timberlake from N*sync and thought Aaron Justin had a beautiful ring to it. They still had no idea what they were going to name this baby. They wanted a perfect name for her because she was already the perfect baby.

Randi sat down on the bed and stared at the floor. Tears started to fill her eyes. She covered her face with her hands and let sobs fall into them. She wasn't sure how strong she was. She wasn't sure she could bear to loose a second child. Dave didn't know how she felt about this. He seemed so sure he wanted to give the baby up, Randi couldn't change her mind. She wanted to be with Dave and she was sure if she changed her mind, Dave would loose Dave too.

He didn't know she often cried herself to sleep at night and during naps either. She missed Aaron terribly. It felt strange for her to love something like Aaron who she never knew she even had until it was too late. Randi crawled to the pillows and wrapped the comforter around her. She looked out the window. A soft snow was falling.

Dave would be home any minute with dinner. He always picked dinner up now on his way home from work. Randi didn't have the strength to even boil water anymore. She was sure her mental weakness would only worsen as the due date came closer. She would request to see the baby before she relinquished hr rights. She had to have those moments of holding her daughter in her arms to remember. She had to have something to hang onto. Randi heard the front door open.

"Honey, I'm home." Dave c called out with a small laugh.

"I'm in the bedroom." Randi said quickly wiping her tears. He walked din.

"Hey Sweety." He kissed her forehead, "were you asleep?"

"No. I was just resting." Randi said sitting up and getting one of Dave's shirts that laid next to the bed. "What's for dinner? I'm starving."

"Pizza with extra cheese." Dave smiled helping Randi to her feet, "You look gorgeous in my shirt." Randi blushed slightly.

"Thanks." She said walking out into the kitchen. The smell of cheese wafted into her nose. Her stomach growled, As Randi sat down. She quickly grabbed a slice and began to eat.

"So...I think we should pick a wedding date." Dave said pouring Randi some water.

"Hummm...Finally setting a date." Randi smiled slightly, "Sure...But the date has to be cool."

"Any date we get married on will be cool." Dave said. Randi smiled

"All right...Let's see..." Randi once again pushed her feelings of despair away, "Sometime after February. I need time to work off the pregnancy fat, but I don't want it too far away."

"Okay....Um....How about...May first?" Dave suggested.

"Too far away." Randi said. A small smile spread across her face, "How about April first?"

"April fool's day....I like that." Dave smiled.

"Good." Randi said munching onto her pizza. "I'm getting married to the most handsome Doctor in the world." Randi laughed doing her impression of Celine Dione. Dave burst out into a fit of laughter.

"God Randi, do that again." He said.

"I can't because I'm de worse impersonator in De world." Randi sang out. Dave shook his head almost choking on his pizza. Randi smiled. She liked making him laugh. She just liked making him happy. "Can I ask you a question, Dave?"

"You can ask me several." He smiled.

"Why do you want to marry me?" She asked sincerely.

"Because you have a nice rack." Dave chuckled as Randi frowned.

"Seriously, Dave." Dave scratched his neck.

"Why do I want to marry you? That's like asking why the stars shine or why I like lucky charms." Dave smiled; "I love every inch of you. I love everything inside of you. I love how you smile. I love how you scratch your ear when you're nervous." Randi stopped scratching her ear, "I love how you wear what you want to wear. I love how you laugh. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. You're my everything, Randi." She smiled at her fiance.

"Man...Thanks." She said blushing down at the table, "I want to do right by you Dave."

"Likewise, Rands." Dave said, "I never thought I'd settle down this time last year. I was very content on being a player...going from one woman to the next, but then I had you. It was like an epiphany or something. I couldn't get your out of my mind or heart. And I never want to do that." Randi smiled again.

"Are you trying to get me into bed?" She winked.

"Well, no...But I certainly wouldn't turn that option down." Dave aid cleaning up after dinner.

"Do I make you happy?"

"You make me pleased, Happy, Glad, Cheerful, Joyful, Ecstatic, Jovial, and everything else." Randi laughed.

"You're my little thesaurus aren't you?" She said hauling herself up and wrapping her arms around his neck "Just promise me one thing Dave."

"Anything Baby." He said kissing her nose. She closed her eyes.

"No matter what happens. Don't leave me." She said. Dave stared at her.

"I will never ever leave you in a million years. I am here for the long haul Randi." She smiled softly.

"Good. So am I." She said, "come on...Let's go to the bedroom."

****

Randi and Dave have made a list of baby names they like but can't decide.

Help them decide and choose your favourite ones

You may vote more than once.

http://www.gigapoll.com/?105764