Poor Allied Soldiers
By Aguachica
See disclaimer on last chapter. I only own the crazed distortions that I have made of my mind and my friend's minds.
This is dedicated to Pitti-Sing, who reviewed twice, and is really nice. Thanks to all of the other nice reviewers. You are all my friends now.
Hogan watched as a Gestapo truck pulled into camp. Four Gestapo soldiers, armed to the teeth, climbed out. Hogan frowned, that didn't seem like quite the right number for a Gestapo gang. Hogan headed closer to hear what was being said.
One of the Gestapo, seemingly the superior officer, saluted and yelled, "Heil Saurkraut!" in a loud, commanding tone.
Klink blinked. "Er.Heil Saurkraut?"
The newcomer was unfazed. "Are you disagreeing with me, Klink?"
Klink (naturally) shook his head and denied it profoundly. "Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of disagreeing with you. 'Heil Sauerkraut' just has such a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
The Gestapo agents muttered to each other, comparing and exchanging orders. Finally one of them muttered, "Whatever".
The officer came up and glared at Klink. "You will bring us three of your prisoners: Sergeant Andrew Carter, Corporal Louis LeBeau, and Corporal Peter Newkirk." The agents voice squeaked when the last name was mentioned. It sounded like the Gestapo was very eager to get its dirty hands on some new prisoners. Must've run out people to torture.
Klink turned to Shultz, who was standing directly behind him. "Shultz," he bellowed, loud enough to start World War 3, "Go and get the three prisoners. Snhell!" Shultz saluted and hurried off.
Shultz soon came back with Carter, LeBeau, and Newkirk. The Gestapo hurried them into the truck and started it, calling back an "Auf Weiner schnitzel!" and a grateful "donkey-shorts!"
Klink replied "You're welcome." and turned to Hogan. "Odd," he remarked, terribly puzzled. "You'd think that Gestapo would be able to speak their own language."
~@~~~@~~~@
Meanwhile, back in the truck, the girls were changing into their normal clothes. Not in front of the men, of course. Our kidnapped boys were still in the back of the truck, unaware that they'd be better off with the Gestapo.
"See, Michaela! LeBeau was there! Now we all have our men!" Said Emily, very happy that she now had Newkirk trapped. There was no way that he could hide in Hogan's quarters now.
"Yeah." Said Michaela, a quiet, soft-spoken girl, but still quite a threat to LeBeau's mental welfare, mind you.
"LIKE, OH MY, LIKE, GOSH! DID YOU, LIKE, SEE, LIKE CARTER?! LIKE, SNUGGLE- UMS! LIKE, MY, LIKE, SNUGGLE-UMS HAS, LIKE, RETURNED TO, LIKE, LITTLE OL', LIKE, ME!" Lisa observed before falling over into a faint.
"Good-idea." said Adah, taking a sip of her fifth expresso and starting to faint too. But before she hit the ground, she stopped. "Wait-a-minute! Which-one-of-us-gets-Carter?"
Emily waved it aside. "We'll decide later. Besides, didn't our teacher teach us to share in fourth grade?"
The girls, or at least the ones who remained conscious, nodded in agreement. Then they all, as one, fainted dead away.
Now, this would have been acceptable under most circumstances, seeing as how Newkirk has the greatest gray-green eyes, but it is generally not a good idea to faint while driving a truck that's going at sixty mph. It was especially not a good idea if you, like Emily, did not know how to drive in the first place. Sadly, their perfect little faint was interrupted when a tree appeared in the middle of the road. Just like that. Really.
~@~~~@~~~@
After the girls were so rudely interrupted from their fainting session, their first thoughts were of their men. "Does my hair look alright?" They asked each other. When they were convinced that they looked pretty, they went around to see the soldiers they had kidnapped.
Newkirk turned pale at the sight of Emily. "It's.It's YOU!" He cried. Emily felt a flush of pleasure that he remembered her.
Carter was trying to hide behind LeBeau, who was, in turn, moving away as not to be caught between a fangirl and her prey. LeBeau looked at the two unfamiliar faces and asked the inevitable question, "Who are they?" He asked in his cute little French accent.
That was too much for Michaela. She raced forward, arms spread wide, to LeBeau. Then she stopped and looked around in puzzlement. "Where did he go?"
LeBeau had, indeed, disappeared. Newkirk, the man with the nice smile, had the sense to look up. He grabbed Carter's and they raced to the LeBeau sized hole in the roof of the truck. Unfortunately for them, they were brought down by 3 fangirls. Michaela climbed through the hole to recapture LeBeau.
The small Frenchman sat on the roof of the truck. He was trapped and he knew this. "Oh, God, what have I done to deserve such punishment?" He prayed. His worst fears were confirmed as Michaela climbed through the hole that he had ripped open with his bare hands. Michaela spotted him and started hyperventilating and drooling. LeBeau slowly took off his hat and waved it at her a little bit. "Do you want the hat? Fetch!" He cried, throwing the hat off the truck. Michaela thought about following it, but instead dove for her hero. "I don't suppose we could talk this out? Noooooooo!"
~@~~~@~~~@
Down below, things weren't going much better for the other two heroes. Newkirk was unable to move, having a rabid fangirl on top of him. He was hoping that she would hyperventilate herself to death, but rabid fangirls seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of air; must come from their heads. His shirt was getting quite damp from drool. With four of them along, they would need a bucket to bail slobber or they would drown. It was hard to decide which course to take.
Carter was experiencing the discomforts of being sandwiched between two rabid fangirls, both of whom were trying their best to outdo the other and win his affections. He was unable to tell which one scared him the most.
Lisa, who he had met before, was on his right, was screeching into his ear. "LIKE, WHEN IS, LIKE, OUR, LIKE, WEDDING? I, LIKE, NEED TO, LIKE, PICK OUT A, LIKE, A DRESS, AND LIKE, FLOWERS, AND, LIKE." Now that his right ear was numb, he decided to check out the rabid fangirl of his left. He wondered what cruel fate had given him two fangirls.
Adah was not screeching, but she was slowly and steadily chattering Carter's ear off. She had a quieter voice, but she never seemed to pause to draw a breath. This might be caused by the fact that she was clinging to him with one arm and holding a pint-sized espresso, which she took gulps from often. It made Carter's throat wince even thinking about drinking that much caffeine. "I-saw-this-really-neat-picture-of-you-of-the-internet-and- you -had-on-the-exact-same-jacket-and-the-exact-same-gloves-and-a-little- bit-of -caffine-can-go-a-long-way-and-will-you-marry-me-and-I-love-you-and- I-heard-this-really-cool-song-called-'The-Ants-Go-Marching'-and-it-has-one- hundered-verses-and-I-have-them-all-memorized-and-I-will-sing-you-every-one- because-I-love-you-and." Now his right ear had fallen asleep. Maybe she would never get to the actual song. Too bad he would never know.
He couldn't expect any help from Newkirk. His best friend was now swinging punches at Emily. Not that that did any good, but maybe it took Newkirk's stress away. Emily simply dodged the punch and continued drooling on Newkirk. Carter felt his socks growing wet. He looked down to see that the floor was covered in a thin layer of drool. He felt revolted and attempted to escape. Adah and Lisa each grabbed one of his legs and held on tight, refusing to let go. He dragged them outside with him.
Adah grinned and started giggling crazily. "Oh-you-wanted-to-give-us-a-tour- of-Hammelburg?-You-are-such-a-romantic!"
Lisa began to jump up and down, carrying Carter and Adah with her. Adah screamed and tried to control her sloshing drink that was in danger of spilling. Lisa paid no notice. "OH, I JUST, LIKE, KNEW THAT CARTER WAS, LIKE, GOING TO TAKE US, LIKE, SHOPPING! I KNEW, LIKE, THAT, LIKE, THE MAN WAS, LIKE, FUN!" She hugged Carter tighter. Carter tried to communicate with her that he was choking by whimpering pitifully. She ignored him.
"LIKE, CARTER? I, LIKE, FORGOT MY, LIKE, PURSE, SO WOULD YOU, LIKE, BE A DEAR AND, LIKE, LET ME BORROW SOME MONEY, LIKE, TO PAY FOR MY, LIKE, STUFF?" Carter whimpered and began twisting and clawing, trying to escape. The girls just held him tighter.
Lisa smiled. "I, LIKE, KNEW YOU WOULD, LIKE, HELP OUT, LIKE, POOR LITTLE, LIKE ME! DID YOU HEAR, LIKE, THAT, ADAH? CARTER-UMS SAID, LIKE, THAT HE WOULD, LIKE, BUY US ANYTHING WE, LIKE, WANTED!"
Adah's eyes widened. "WOW!-Thank-you-Carter!-I-know-I-had-a-list -somewhere- in-my-purse.-Wait-a-moment." Adah began fishing around in her purse, which seemed to contain everything except money. Adah finally held up a long list, which seemed to be made up of exclusively priced coffee items. That was too much for Carter. He fainted and was dragged off by the fangirls, perhaps never to be seen again.
~@~~~@~~~@
LeBeau sat, motionless and terrified, on the top of the ruined truck. Michaela was curled up on his lap. Every time he tried to move her angelic arms grabbed him in a headlock. LeBeau had long since abandoned any hope of escaping.
He could hear Newkirk sobbing from below. Emily must have really been torturing him.
~@~~~@~~~@
Newkirk screamed for mercy as Emily kissed him all over his face. Kicking didn't seem to discourage her either. Unexpectedly, one of his fists collided with her head. She stopped in mid-kiss and an evil grin spread over her face. Newkirk cowered in fear, wondering what he had done.
Emily muttered to herself for a moment. He could make out "Yes, that is what I must do." And "Why must I be held back?"
Emily seemed to reach a conclusion, for she reached into her pocket and took out a rope. Newkirk would have wondered how she fit a rope in her pocket if he hadn't been too worried about what she would do with it.
His worst fears were confirmed when she tied him to the side of the car. She gave him a quick kiss and reassured him she would be back soon. She leapt out of the truck, screaming "More! I must have more!" But what could she want more of?
~@~~~@~~~@
Carter stared with wide, blue eyes at the paper in front of him. It was huge! Taller then he was! It was a receipt. He had never known that two girls could buy that much stuff on one shopping trip.
He gulped as he checked his wallet. He knew that he probably could not pay for those purchases if he sold the United States to Germany. There was only one thing he could do. He summoned up all of his courage and, in his best German growl, snarled "Send the bill to Major Wolfgang Hochstetter. Gestapo."
The storekeeper gasped. "Bill it to an important Gestapo Major? Why, I could be imprisoned for that!"
Carter crossed his fingers behind his back and screamed, "Do you dare to question the Gestapo? I hear they need men your age on the Russian Front!"
The storekeeper stammered, "But.But.Sir, I am fifty, and I am out of shape and I have gray hair. You wouldn't send an old man like me to the Russian Front, would you?
He paled noticeably as Carter slowly nodded. "The Major's tab it is, sir."
Carter breathed a huge sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to pay the bill. $1,567.98 was a lot of money for clothes. And the storekeeper would be able to retire if Hochstetter ever paid up.
~@~~~@~~~@
The girls (Lisa and Adah) walked down the street with Carter in tow. They had trouble walking with their huge bags, so they gave them to Carter. The girls were chatting, if you can call talking non-stop without hearing the other person "chatting".
Suddenly, a cloaked (No, not a super girl type; that would be caped, this was cloaked) figure came hurtling toward them, bulldozing shoppers out of the way. She dashed up, grabbed Carter, and ran away at the speed of light. Carter screamed, realizing that this probably wasn't a rescue.
Lisa stopped and Adah ran into her. They tried to catch their balance and not to drop all the bags that had been shoved into their arms. Lisa failed and collapsed to the ground with the bags on top of her. "LIKE, TOTALLY, LIKE, OOMPH!"
As Adah helped her fellow rabid, drooling, foaming-at-the-mouth, slobbering fangirl up, they noticed something. "Carter's-gone! -We-need-to-get-him- back! -He-loves-me!"
Lisa agreed and disagreed. "LIKE, HE TOTALLY, LIKE, LOVES, LIKE, ME! I DON'T, LIKE, KNOW WHAT, LIKE, HE'D DO, LIKE, WITHOUT, LIKE, ME! POOR SNUGGLE-OOGLES CARTER!"
With that they set off to find Carter, a.k.a. "Snuggle-oogles".
~@~~~@~~~@
Newkirk heard people coming to the truck. He hoped it was Gestapo. He could use some kind, humane treatment around here that didn't involve lipstick. Carter soon joined him, similarly smudged with lipstick. Newkirk moved over, glad to see his friend.
Carter was soon tied up and assured that Emily would never ever forget him and Newkirk, and that she would be back soon. The men didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.
When Emily finally left, Newkirk looked at Carter with concern. His young friend was hunched slightly in pain, holding his arm. "Wot's wrong, mate? Did they 'urt you?"
Carter gasped out, "hernia."
~@~~~@~~~@
On the roof, LeBeau saw another female climb through the roof. He hoped it wasn't another fangirl.
Michaela woke from the position she had been in for the past three pages. She sensed competition. And if there's anything a rabid fangirl hates, it's competition.
She stood up and drew her light saber, a souvenir of the time she had become an admirer of Luke from Starwars. "Die!!!!" She cried.
Emily was prepared. She too had been a fan of Starwars. They began fencing. After a few hours, Emily delicately pushed Michaela into a nearby tree. "NOOO!!! LEBEAU!!!!!!!!!" She cried, before becoming hopelessly entangled in the branches. Emily laughed evilly and hero-napped LeBeau.
~@~~~@~~~@
Five hours later, Michaela had finally untangled herself. She ran to the truck. It was empty. Adah and Lisa ran up behind her. They started to say "Hi", but they saw the empty truck.
"Stardom-has-taken-Emily, -then." Said Adah.
"I, LIKE, TOTALLY, LIKE, WONDER IF, LIKE, WE'LL EVER, LIKE, SEE THEM, LIKE, AGAIN?" Wondered Lisa.
"We may yet. We'll find them. I feel certain that Emily has found some way to take them to the future. Let's go."
And so they set off to 2002, to find and rescue their men.
THE END (MAYBE)
Okay, I plan to, sometime in the future, write a conclusion. Would you like that? I need to keep up on my homework, so don't expect anything too soon. When you review, please remember: If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.
By Aguachica
See disclaimer on last chapter. I only own the crazed distortions that I have made of my mind and my friend's minds.
This is dedicated to Pitti-Sing, who reviewed twice, and is really nice. Thanks to all of the other nice reviewers. You are all my friends now.
Hogan watched as a Gestapo truck pulled into camp. Four Gestapo soldiers, armed to the teeth, climbed out. Hogan frowned, that didn't seem like quite the right number for a Gestapo gang. Hogan headed closer to hear what was being said.
One of the Gestapo, seemingly the superior officer, saluted and yelled, "Heil Saurkraut!" in a loud, commanding tone.
Klink blinked. "Er.Heil Saurkraut?"
The newcomer was unfazed. "Are you disagreeing with me, Klink?"
Klink (naturally) shook his head and denied it profoundly. "Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of disagreeing with you. 'Heil Sauerkraut' just has such a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
The Gestapo agents muttered to each other, comparing and exchanging orders. Finally one of them muttered, "Whatever".
The officer came up and glared at Klink. "You will bring us three of your prisoners: Sergeant Andrew Carter, Corporal Louis LeBeau, and Corporal Peter Newkirk." The agents voice squeaked when the last name was mentioned. It sounded like the Gestapo was very eager to get its dirty hands on some new prisoners. Must've run out people to torture.
Klink turned to Shultz, who was standing directly behind him. "Shultz," he bellowed, loud enough to start World War 3, "Go and get the three prisoners. Snhell!" Shultz saluted and hurried off.
Shultz soon came back with Carter, LeBeau, and Newkirk. The Gestapo hurried them into the truck and started it, calling back an "Auf Weiner schnitzel!" and a grateful "donkey-shorts!"
Klink replied "You're welcome." and turned to Hogan. "Odd," he remarked, terribly puzzled. "You'd think that Gestapo would be able to speak their own language."
~@~~~@~~~@
Meanwhile, back in the truck, the girls were changing into their normal clothes. Not in front of the men, of course. Our kidnapped boys were still in the back of the truck, unaware that they'd be better off with the Gestapo.
"See, Michaela! LeBeau was there! Now we all have our men!" Said Emily, very happy that she now had Newkirk trapped. There was no way that he could hide in Hogan's quarters now.
"Yeah." Said Michaela, a quiet, soft-spoken girl, but still quite a threat to LeBeau's mental welfare, mind you.
"LIKE, OH MY, LIKE, GOSH! DID YOU, LIKE, SEE, LIKE CARTER?! LIKE, SNUGGLE- UMS! LIKE, MY, LIKE, SNUGGLE-UMS HAS, LIKE, RETURNED TO, LIKE, LITTLE OL', LIKE, ME!" Lisa observed before falling over into a faint.
"Good-idea." said Adah, taking a sip of her fifth expresso and starting to faint too. But before she hit the ground, she stopped. "Wait-a-minute! Which-one-of-us-gets-Carter?"
Emily waved it aside. "We'll decide later. Besides, didn't our teacher teach us to share in fourth grade?"
The girls, or at least the ones who remained conscious, nodded in agreement. Then they all, as one, fainted dead away.
Now, this would have been acceptable under most circumstances, seeing as how Newkirk has the greatest gray-green eyes, but it is generally not a good idea to faint while driving a truck that's going at sixty mph. It was especially not a good idea if you, like Emily, did not know how to drive in the first place. Sadly, their perfect little faint was interrupted when a tree appeared in the middle of the road. Just like that. Really.
~@~~~@~~~@
After the girls were so rudely interrupted from their fainting session, their first thoughts were of their men. "Does my hair look alright?" They asked each other. When they were convinced that they looked pretty, they went around to see the soldiers they had kidnapped.
Newkirk turned pale at the sight of Emily. "It's.It's YOU!" He cried. Emily felt a flush of pleasure that he remembered her.
Carter was trying to hide behind LeBeau, who was, in turn, moving away as not to be caught between a fangirl and her prey. LeBeau looked at the two unfamiliar faces and asked the inevitable question, "Who are they?" He asked in his cute little French accent.
That was too much for Michaela. She raced forward, arms spread wide, to LeBeau. Then she stopped and looked around in puzzlement. "Where did he go?"
LeBeau had, indeed, disappeared. Newkirk, the man with the nice smile, had the sense to look up. He grabbed Carter's and they raced to the LeBeau sized hole in the roof of the truck. Unfortunately for them, they were brought down by 3 fangirls. Michaela climbed through the hole to recapture LeBeau.
The small Frenchman sat on the roof of the truck. He was trapped and he knew this. "Oh, God, what have I done to deserve such punishment?" He prayed. His worst fears were confirmed as Michaela climbed through the hole that he had ripped open with his bare hands. Michaela spotted him and started hyperventilating and drooling. LeBeau slowly took off his hat and waved it at her a little bit. "Do you want the hat? Fetch!" He cried, throwing the hat off the truck. Michaela thought about following it, but instead dove for her hero. "I don't suppose we could talk this out? Noooooooo!"
~@~~~@~~~@
Down below, things weren't going much better for the other two heroes. Newkirk was unable to move, having a rabid fangirl on top of him. He was hoping that she would hyperventilate herself to death, but rabid fangirls seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of air; must come from their heads. His shirt was getting quite damp from drool. With four of them along, they would need a bucket to bail slobber or they would drown. It was hard to decide which course to take.
Carter was experiencing the discomforts of being sandwiched between two rabid fangirls, both of whom were trying their best to outdo the other and win his affections. He was unable to tell which one scared him the most.
Lisa, who he had met before, was on his right, was screeching into his ear. "LIKE, WHEN IS, LIKE, OUR, LIKE, WEDDING? I, LIKE, NEED TO, LIKE, PICK OUT A, LIKE, A DRESS, AND LIKE, FLOWERS, AND, LIKE." Now that his right ear was numb, he decided to check out the rabid fangirl of his left. He wondered what cruel fate had given him two fangirls.
Adah was not screeching, but she was slowly and steadily chattering Carter's ear off. She had a quieter voice, but she never seemed to pause to draw a breath. This might be caused by the fact that she was clinging to him with one arm and holding a pint-sized espresso, which she took gulps from often. It made Carter's throat wince even thinking about drinking that much caffeine. "I-saw-this-really-neat-picture-of-you-of-the-internet-and- you -had-on-the-exact-same-jacket-and-the-exact-same-gloves-and-a-little- bit-of -caffine-can-go-a-long-way-and-will-you-marry-me-and-I-love-you-and- I-heard-this-really-cool-song-called-'The-Ants-Go-Marching'-and-it-has-one- hundered-verses-and-I-have-them-all-memorized-and-I-will-sing-you-every-one- because-I-love-you-and." Now his right ear had fallen asleep. Maybe she would never get to the actual song. Too bad he would never know.
He couldn't expect any help from Newkirk. His best friend was now swinging punches at Emily. Not that that did any good, but maybe it took Newkirk's stress away. Emily simply dodged the punch and continued drooling on Newkirk. Carter felt his socks growing wet. He looked down to see that the floor was covered in a thin layer of drool. He felt revolted and attempted to escape. Adah and Lisa each grabbed one of his legs and held on tight, refusing to let go. He dragged them outside with him.
Adah grinned and started giggling crazily. "Oh-you-wanted-to-give-us-a-tour- of-Hammelburg?-You-are-such-a-romantic!"
Lisa began to jump up and down, carrying Carter and Adah with her. Adah screamed and tried to control her sloshing drink that was in danger of spilling. Lisa paid no notice. "OH, I JUST, LIKE, KNEW THAT CARTER WAS, LIKE, GOING TO TAKE US, LIKE, SHOPPING! I KNEW, LIKE, THAT, LIKE, THE MAN WAS, LIKE, FUN!" She hugged Carter tighter. Carter tried to communicate with her that he was choking by whimpering pitifully. She ignored him.
"LIKE, CARTER? I, LIKE, FORGOT MY, LIKE, PURSE, SO WOULD YOU, LIKE, BE A DEAR AND, LIKE, LET ME BORROW SOME MONEY, LIKE, TO PAY FOR MY, LIKE, STUFF?" Carter whimpered and began twisting and clawing, trying to escape. The girls just held him tighter.
Lisa smiled. "I, LIKE, KNEW YOU WOULD, LIKE, HELP OUT, LIKE, POOR LITTLE, LIKE ME! DID YOU HEAR, LIKE, THAT, ADAH? CARTER-UMS SAID, LIKE, THAT HE WOULD, LIKE, BUY US ANYTHING WE, LIKE, WANTED!"
Adah's eyes widened. "WOW!-Thank-you-Carter!-I-know-I-had-a-list -somewhere- in-my-purse.-Wait-a-moment." Adah began fishing around in her purse, which seemed to contain everything except money. Adah finally held up a long list, which seemed to be made up of exclusively priced coffee items. That was too much for Carter. He fainted and was dragged off by the fangirls, perhaps never to be seen again.
~@~~~@~~~@
LeBeau sat, motionless and terrified, on the top of the ruined truck. Michaela was curled up on his lap. Every time he tried to move her angelic arms grabbed him in a headlock. LeBeau had long since abandoned any hope of escaping.
He could hear Newkirk sobbing from below. Emily must have really been torturing him.
~@~~~@~~~@
Newkirk screamed for mercy as Emily kissed him all over his face. Kicking didn't seem to discourage her either. Unexpectedly, one of his fists collided with her head. She stopped in mid-kiss and an evil grin spread over her face. Newkirk cowered in fear, wondering what he had done.
Emily muttered to herself for a moment. He could make out "Yes, that is what I must do." And "Why must I be held back?"
Emily seemed to reach a conclusion, for she reached into her pocket and took out a rope. Newkirk would have wondered how she fit a rope in her pocket if he hadn't been too worried about what she would do with it.
His worst fears were confirmed when she tied him to the side of the car. She gave him a quick kiss and reassured him she would be back soon. She leapt out of the truck, screaming "More! I must have more!" But what could she want more of?
~@~~~@~~~@
Carter stared with wide, blue eyes at the paper in front of him. It was huge! Taller then he was! It was a receipt. He had never known that two girls could buy that much stuff on one shopping trip.
He gulped as he checked his wallet. He knew that he probably could not pay for those purchases if he sold the United States to Germany. There was only one thing he could do. He summoned up all of his courage and, in his best German growl, snarled "Send the bill to Major Wolfgang Hochstetter. Gestapo."
The storekeeper gasped. "Bill it to an important Gestapo Major? Why, I could be imprisoned for that!"
Carter crossed his fingers behind his back and screamed, "Do you dare to question the Gestapo? I hear they need men your age on the Russian Front!"
The storekeeper stammered, "But.But.Sir, I am fifty, and I am out of shape and I have gray hair. You wouldn't send an old man like me to the Russian Front, would you?
He paled noticeably as Carter slowly nodded. "The Major's tab it is, sir."
Carter breathed a huge sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to pay the bill. $1,567.98 was a lot of money for clothes. And the storekeeper would be able to retire if Hochstetter ever paid up.
~@~~~@~~~@
The girls (Lisa and Adah) walked down the street with Carter in tow. They had trouble walking with their huge bags, so they gave them to Carter. The girls were chatting, if you can call talking non-stop without hearing the other person "chatting".
Suddenly, a cloaked (No, not a super girl type; that would be caped, this was cloaked) figure came hurtling toward them, bulldozing shoppers out of the way. She dashed up, grabbed Carter, and ran away at the speed of light. Carter screamed, realizing that this probably wasn't a rescue.
Lisa stopped and Adah ran into her. They tried to catch their balance and not to drop all the bags that had been shoved into their arms. Lisa failed and collapsed to the ground with the bags on top of her. "LIKE, TOTALLY, LIKE, OOMPH!"
As Adah helped her fellow rabid, drooling, foaming-at-the-mouth, slobbering fangirl up, they noticed something. "Carter's-gone! -We-need-to-get-him- back! -He-loves-me!"
Lisa agreed and disagreed. "LIKE, HE TOTALLY, LIKE, LOVES, LIKE, ME! I DON'T, LIKE, KNOW WHAT, LIKE, HE'D DO, LIKE, WITHOUT, LIKE, ME! POOR SNUGGLE-OOGLES CARTER!"
With that they set off to find Carter, a.k.a. "Snuggle-oogles".
~@~~~@~~~@
Newkirk heard people coming to the truck. He hoped it was Gestapo. He could use some kind, humane treatment around here that didn't involve lipstick. Carter soon joined him, similarly smudged with lipstick. Newkirk moved over, glad to see his friend.
Carter was soon tied up and assured that Emily would never ever forget him and Newkirk, and that she would be back soon. The men didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.
When Emily finally left, Newkirk looked at Carter with concern. His young friend was hunched slightly in pain, holding his arm. "Wot's wrong, mate? Did they 'urt you?"
Carter gasped out, "hernia."
~@~~~@~~~@
On the roof, LeBeau saw another female climb through the roof. He hoped it wasn't another fangirl.
Michaela woke from the position she had been in for the past three pages. She sensed competition. And if there's anything a rabid fangirl hates, it's competition.
She stood up and drew her light saber, a souvenir of the time she had become an admirer of Luke from Starwars. "Die!!!!" She cried.
Emily was prepared. She too had been a fan of Starwars. They began fencing. After a few hours, Emily delicately pushed Michaela into a nearby tree. "NOOO!!! LEBEAU!!!!!!!!!" She cried, before becoming hopelessly entangled in the branches. Emily laughed evilly and hero-napped LeBeau.
~@~~~@~~~@
Five hours later, Michaela had finally untangled herself. She ran to the truck. It was empty. Adah and Lisa ran up behind her. They started to say "Hi", but they saw the empty truck.
"Stardom-has-taken-Emily, -then." Said Adah.
"I, LIKE, TOTALLY, LIKE, WONDER IF, LIKE, WE'LL EVER, LIKE, SEE THEM, LIKE, AGAIN?" Wondered Lisa.
"We may yet. We'll find them. I feel certain that Emily has found some way to take them to the future. Let's go."
And so they set off to 2002, to find and rescue their men.
THE END (MAYBE)
Okay, I plan to, sometime in the future, write a conclusion. Would you like that? I need to keep up on my homework, so don't expect anything too soon. When you review, please remember: If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.