"The Many Loves of Xander Harris."
Disclaimer: If I owned Buffy do you think I would waste my time with this shit? Hell No!
Category: ???
Author's Note: Enjoy this chapter.
Benji flopped down on the couch in his hotel room, once again trying to start Mr. Whedon's book. Once again knocking on the door interrupted him. "Who the hell is it?" the annoyed demon asked.
"I forgot my bloody key," Spike's voice said.
Benji smiled. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Just open the bloody door!"
Benji was shocked by the sense of urgency and fear in Spike's voice. Without a second thought he dashed to the door and unlocked it. "What the hell has you so worked up?" the demon asked his vampire roommate.
"I found out who's after Xander," Spike said.
"Who?"
"We've gotta hide," Spike said as he began too empty the closet of his and Benji's clothes.
"Who the hell is it?" Benji demanded.
Spike looked at his roommate. "How much do you know about the apocalypse?"
Xander settled in his chair for the first Scooby meeting he had been invited to in awhile. Giles was explaining how Angel had come back but Xander wasn't listening. After all he had found it. Turns out that Angel's love was so great that when Angelus was staked, Angel went to Heaven. Apparently they had given him a second chance as a human but Angel hadn't remembered any of it.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when someone flopped down next to him. He looked over and saw Faith. "Hi," he greeted.
"Hi," she said while clearly trying not to look him in the eye. It seemed that she was still a little bit embarrassed about their conversation. "Look about the other day," she started but she was interrupted by the doors bursting open.
"Hey everyone!" Benji shouted, a little too enthusiastic.
"Benji, what are you doing here?" Giles asked.
"Good to see you too, G-Man."
Giles grimaced at the use of his 'nickname' "What can we do you for?" asked Willow.
Benji glanced at Giles. "Have you told them?" he asked.
Giles shook his head. "I thought that you wanted to keep that a secret," said the watcher. Benji gave him a weird look and then realized what Giles was talking about.
"No! Not that! I'm talking about the fact that I know you guys fight evil' Benji said.
"What?" Buffy shouted.
"You know, you have quite the pair of lungs on you," Benji commented.
Buffy marched up to Xander. "How could you tell him? This supposed to be a secret!" the Slayer demanded.
"And what a fine job of keeping it you have done," Benji muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing."
Buffy turned her attention back to Xander when once again the doors to the library burst open. This time it was Spike who came running through them. "We've got to hurry!" Spike yelled.
In the next instant Spike found himself pinned to the floor by Faith and Buffy. "Bloody hell, Benji! You haven't told them yet?"
"Told us what?" Faith asked.
Benji laughed. "Spike here is friend of mine."
Before the demon could blink he was lying flat on the table with Angel holding him down. Willow appeared next him, crossbow in hand.
"What the hell was that for?' Benji shouted.
"Any friend of Spike is an enemy," Willow answered.
Xander, seeing that things were going nowhere fast, cut in. "then you'll have to kill me too," he said.
"Why?" Faith asked.
"Because I am a friend of Spike," Xander answered.
"You are?" everyone in the library asked him.
Xander rubbed his temples. "Yes. He saved Benji's life and this is how Benji knows we fight evil. He was also trying to save Giles the night Fereck kidnapped him."
Buffy and Faith released their grip on Spike, as did Angel on Benji. "Now Benji what do you want?" Giles asked.
Benji hopped off the table and straightened his jacket. "Fist off," the demon started as he dusted off his fedora, "You people have major trust issues. Secondly, how much do you guys know about the apocalypse?"
"Enough to know how stop it again," Buffy said.
Benji shook his head. "Nope! You guys got no clue what a real apocalypse is like," he said.
"Excuse but I have stopped a few apocalypse's in my time," Buffy said.
"Yeah. You've stopped secondary apocalypses but the real thing."
"And what's that?" Angel asked.
"That's an apocalypse that involves the harbingers of the apocalypse," Benji sated.
"The harbingers? Who are they?" Cordelia asked.
"In modern times they are more commonly referred to as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," Benji answered.
"Oh my dear god," Giles gasped.
"What? We don't like these guys?" Cordelia asked.
"Yes we do not like them," Giles snapped at her. "Their sole purpose is to bring about Armageddon."
"Who are they and how do we stop them?" Buffy demanded.
"I'm afraid it isn't that simple, Slayer," Spike said.
"Spike shut the hell up!" Buffy commanded.
"Buffy I'm afraid Spike is right," Giles said. "The horsemen are more than some simple hell-bent demon. They are the harbingers."
"Who are they!" the slayer demanded.
"On the black horse is Famine, on the red horse is War, on the pale horse is Death, and supposedly, although no one knows for sure, on the white horse is Christ," Benji explained.
The news that they could be up against Christ put the gang into a depressed mood. "That's a bummer," Oz stated.
Benji smiled. "But they're not here to end the world so Christ isn't going to be here!"
At the demon's announcement Xander and the others gave him looks. "Then who is?" asked Oz.
"Most likely the brown horse, which is Pestilence."
"What are they trying to do?" asked Angel.
Benji looked from Spike to Oz to Xander and finally Giles. "Don't know," the balance demon lied.
"So what do we do?" asked Xander, knowing they were after him.
"We hide," answered Spike.
"What? No way. We're going to fight these guys," Buffy said.
Giles shook his head. "The reason they are is not something little so until we figure out why they are here we best hide," the Watcher said.
"But where?" asked Willow.
"I know just the place," Benji said.
The Mayor sat behind his desk looking over a file on the balance demon named Benji when Mr. Trick entered. "You wanted to see me sir?" the vampire asked.
The Mayor looked up and smiled. "Yes. I have reason to believe that the Slayers will be leaving town," he said. "I want you to follow them."
Trick nodded. "Yes, sir."
Benji was driving them out of Sunnydale. That much was certain. Xander sat in the passenger seat of Oz's van while the werewolf, Spike, and Giles sat in the back. "So where are you taking us?" asked Oz.
Benji glanced at him. "You'll know when we get there."
Xander looked behind them at the Jeep that was following them. Buffy and Giles had insisted that Joyce be brought along incase anything happened to her. That was why Joyce, Buffy, Willow, and Angel were in the Jeep following them. Behind them was Cordelia and Faith in Cordelia's car.
Xander turned around just in time to see the 'Welcome to Los Angeles' sign.
Benji led Xander, Faith, and Angel up to what appeared to be a nightclub. "Where are we?' asked Faith.
"Caritas," Benji said.
"What's that?" asked Xander.
"A karaoke bar. It was burned down last year but he relocated it here and reopened the puppy," explained Benji.
"Who's he?" Angel asked.
"Krevlorneswath," Benji answered.
"Who?" Xander and Faith asked at the same time.
"Lorne."
The four 'friends' entered Lorne's to hear a someone singing a terrible version of 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?' "Yes," Xander said.
Benji led the others to bar and told the m to wait for him. "Xander can we talk about the other day?" Faith asked.
"Yeah sure." Xander turned to Angel. "You mind leaving?"
"Actually I do," Angel answered.
"That's great but I wasn't asking. Move."
Much to Xander and Faith's surprise he did just that. "So what about yesterday did you want to talk about?"
"The part where you called me beautiful," she admitted. Xander smiled.
"You liked that didn't you?" he asked her. Faith, embarrassed, nodded her head. "Would you like me to say it again?" he asked her. She smiled.
"Yeah. I'd like that."
"You're beautiful," Xander said. The two of them found themselves slowly moving toward one another and just as their lips were about to meet someone cleared their throat. Xander and Faith jumped and turned to see Benji and a green demon standing there.
"Did we interrupt?" Benji asked.
"No. Xander was checking to see if I had anything in my eye," Faith lied.
"And she doesn't," Xander added.
Benji grinned. "Right. Anyway, Xander and Faith this is Lorne. Lorne this is Xander and Faith."
"Hi," Xander and Faith said.
Lorne smiled and nodded. "So these are two of them?" he asked Benji.
"Yep."
"Jesus Benji, what the hell did you do?" came a new voice. This one was had an Irish accent and belonged to a man who was standing behind Lorne.
Benji faced the man with a small smile. "Hello Doyle."
"Hey. You know I've been trying to get a hold of you for twenty years and I haven't found a damn trace of you till today," the Irish man said.
"Well isn't that nice? See ya latter."
Doyle took Benji's hint and left. "We'll catch up later," he called.
Benji shook his head. "Good that guy is a pain in my ass. Back to the topic, Lorne has agreed to let us stay with him at his house."
"Where's that?" Faith asked.
"I was wondering the same thing," Benji said.
Lorne smiled. "It's an old abandoned hotel. I jazzed the place up a bit and now I call it home."
"Let's get the others and go," Angel said suddenly appearing at Xander's side.
"Why the rush, Deadboy?" Xander asked.
"You see that guy," Angel said pointing to a black man sitting at the end of in a purple suit.
"Mr. Trick," Faith said.
"Exactly."
Benji cut in. "Well let's go then."
Benji, Xander, Faith, Angel, and Lorne headed out to the cars. "Closing time," Lorne called out.
The demons and humans who had been in the bar immediately started to get up and walk out the door. "Faith do you see Trick?" Angel asked the Slayer
"Nope. He must have slipped out."
"Alright, lets go," Benji, commanded.
Buffy was looking out of the window when she noticed Mr. Trick exiting the club. He was in the middle of a group of what appeared to be humans so against her better judgment she let him go. Angel and the others then exited the club with a green demon in a matching suit following them.
"Alright people I like you to meet Lorne. He is being kind enough to let us stay with him so please be nice," Benji announced.
Buffy noticed that Benji looked at her when he said be nice. "Why did he look at me?" Buffy asked her mom. Joyce gave her daughter a look and smiled. The door opened and Oz popped in. "I thought Angel rides with us?" Buffy pouted.
"He's riding with Cordelia and Faith. Benji and the others had some stuff to talk about," Oz explained.
The gang arrived at the abandoned hotel that Lorne called home and immediately they all sprang from the cars they were in and started to stretch. "Never again will I ride with Cordelia," Angel announced as he joined Buffy by the front of the building.
The Slayer shook her head and smiled. "Have you seen my mom and Giles anywhere?" she asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Xander asked as walked around the corner.
"Know what?"
"That you mom and Giles are how should I put this, sleeping together."
"What?"
"Yep. I had the horror of walking in on them."
"Oh my gosh. Xand, I am so sorry," Buffy apologized.
"There's no need for you to be sorry. Your mom has found someone that she can grow old, older with. And cuddle with, and kiss, and I'm gonna barf."
Buffy laughed as Xander ran to a dumpster and pretended to vomit. "He's crazy," she said to Angel. The former vampire nodded.
"Okay, folks here we go," Lorne said as he made his way to Buffy and Angel. "Step aside please I have to unlock the door."
Buffy and Angel did as they were told. The demon produced a black key from his pocket and unlocked the door in what seemed like a single movement. He opened the door and before anyone could make a movement the lights were on. "How did you do that?" Willow asked.
"The lights are set up to come on when the door opens," Lorne answered.
Lorne led the group into the hotel and grinned when the gasped at the largeness of the lobby. "This place is huge," Cordelia said.
"You like, Missy?" Lorne asked.
Cordelia nodded. Giles and Joyce appeared in the doorway both looking a little perky. "Where were you two?" Benji asked them. Xander shook his head.
"Trust me. You don't want to know."
"Everybody, can have your attention please?" Lorne shouted. Once everyone had turned to face him the demon continued. "If you will all be kind enough as to follow me, I will take to your rooms."
Lorne lead them up the stairs and directly to the third floor. "Each floor has eleven rather large rooms," Lorne began, "Now the first floor is the lobby, bar, billiard room, and ballroom. It leads out to the building directly behind the hotel, which is the hotel's three-story gym. The first floor is the pool, and the spa. The second floor is basketball and the batting cages and then up top you have tennis, and racquetball.
"The second floor's rooms are all destroyed so no one goes there. Now here on the third floor three of the rooms can't be used because of major damage. Three have no floor, and two have no furniture. I knocked down a wall so that two rooms are now combined to make my room. So that leaves one room. Mrs. Summers you can have this one."
Joyce walked into the room. "Does it suit your needs?" Lorne asked.
"Yes."
"Very good. Let's continue."
Lorne led them up to the fourth floor, which was charred and smelled of smoke. "There was a small fire here," Lorne explained.
"Small?" Spike asked sarcastically.
Buffy gave the vampire a look and he said nothing more. They continued up to the fifth floor, which looked surprisingly new. "Are we still in the same hotel?" Spike asked.
"Yep. This and the first floor are in tiptop shape," Lorne said.
The green demon gestured to four doors. "These are all one really big room," he said. "Xander why don't you check it out."
A dumbstruck Xander walked in. "Wait a minute, how come the bloody whelp gets the good room," Spike protested. Benji and Faith both elbowed him.
"Faith this your room, Angel this yours, Oz yours, Willow yours, and Cordelia your room is on the end." Lorne turned toward the side with Xander's big room in the middle of it. "Benji you on one side and Buffy on the other."
"What about us?" Spike asked, indicating Giles and himself.
"Well I use the seventh floor for storage and I turned the sixth floor into a huge library so I guess you'll just have to room with Xander," Lorne said.
"What? No way! I'm not sharing a bloody room with that wanker," Spike protested.
"I can't believe this," Spike said as he stuffed his clothes into his dresser. He, Giles, and Xander may have had the biggest room but all of them felt it rapidly shrink when all three of them got in it. The room was painted gold with a large painting of angels above the largest bed in the room, which Xander had already claimed. The chairs cushions were red as was the floor. There was a Jacuzzi in the far corner and Spike and Giles's beds were side by side at the other end of the room.
Giles, not to keen about sleeping next to Spike, dragged his bed further down. "Are you trying to tell me somethin'?" Spike asked him.
"Yes. I'm trying to tell you that I don't want to sleep next to you."
"Oh. Well you could 'ave just told me!"
"I don't want to sleep next to you Spike. There are you happy?"
Spike shot him a glare but said nothing. "I'm going to the bloody pub," he announced.
"Ta, Ta. Have fun," Giles called after him.
"G-Man it's good to see you finally letting your hair down," Xander said.
Giles smiled. "Yes well, don't get used to it. I'm going to see Joyce."
Giles left leaving Xander all alone. There was a knock on the door and Xander let whomever it was in. Benji and Lorne walked in carrying a karaoke machine between them. Oz followed with a mike and a bunch of wires. "What is all this?" Xander asked as he shut the door.
"Karaoke," Oz explained.
Lorne and Benji set up the machine. "What the hell are you guys doing?" Xander asked.
Benji plugged in the microphone and turned to Xander. "Xand, after tonight this whole which Slayer is yours business can be put to rest."
"Really? How?"
"Remember that demon friend I told you about?" Benji asked him.
Xander nodded. "Well this is him."
Benji put the mike in Xander's hands and turned to Lorne. "Let him pick a song."
Lorne showed Xander the songs he could chose from and once he had picked one, Lorne pulled up three chairs. "Gents and Wolves, the X-Man will be singing Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"."
At this everyone, minus Xander, sat down. "Take it away maestro," Lorne exclaimed.
Xander had sung two notes before Lorne stopped him. "What? Am I that bad?" asked Xander.
"No. But you're a White Knight, kid. You're easier to read than a pop-up book," Lorne explained.
"So?" Xander asked anxiously.
"So I need to learn how to read a pop-up book," Lorne said.
"What?" Xander and Benji screamed.
"Look guys, something is not right. There is something in the air that's disturbing my powers."
"Like what?" Oz asked.
"Like chaos."
Outside the seven-story hotel Ethan Rayne smiled. He whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Hello?" came the voice on the other end.
"It's done. Our green friend doesn't know which Slayer he's destined for."
"That's good. Especially since I know."
"Really?"
"Honestly? No. But I will Mr. Rayne, I will."
"Am I done here?"
"Not quite."
"Any other plans?" Xander asked Benji.
"One. But it's kinda risky."
"Well seeing as I have the four horsemen on my ass, I don't think it can make things too much different. So what is it?"
"A love spell."
"What? Are you crazy? How is that going to help me?"
"It's a different type of love spell. It takes even the smallest ounce of lust for a person and then it times it by ten," Lorne explained.
"So if a Slayer has feelings for you they would show," Benji finished.
"I think it's too risky," Xander said.
"Didn't I warn him?" Benji asked Oz.
"Look Xand, after the spell is done only the people who knew the spell was being done would remember what happened," Lorne said.
"So Buffy and Faith won't remember?" Xander asked.
"Exactly."
Xander looked from Benji's face to Lorne's face to Oz's face and back. "Okay. I'll do it."
Xander watched as Benji and Lorne set up the ingredients. "Now only one of the Slayers should show affection towards you," Benji said.
A timer went off and Oz handed a beaker to Benji. "Thank you."
OZ joined Xander and the two friends watched nervously as Benji and Lorne finished the spell and poured a pink substance into the beaker. "Love potion No. 9," Lorne said to himself.
Benji handed the beaker to Xander. "What's this?" he asked.
"It's actually more a love potion then it is a love spell," Benji said.
"Do I have drink this stuff?"
"Yep."
Xander nervously chugged the concoction. "Feel any different?" Lorne asked.
"Nope. Should I?"
Lorne shook his head. "Just thought I ask."
"Actually since these are Slayers we're dealing with we put an little more toad testicles in there," Benji said.
"I just drank toad testicles?" Xander asked.
"Yep. But they're only in there for stamina. Just in case you and one of the Slayers get it on," Benji said.
"Oh."
"It will wear off in twenty -four hours though," Benji warned.
"Well lets go," Lorne said.
Oz, Lorne, and Benji began gathering up the ingredients and left. Xander sat down in his chair and waited for his true love to arrive. There was a knock on the door and Xander opened it up to find-"Spike!"
"What are hollering about?" the vamp asked.
"What the hell are you doing here?
"This is my room too, you know."
"Yeah but. Spike this isn't the best time."
"Oh well excuse me! I wouldn't want to upset the bloody whelp and his bleeding imaginary friends. Why don't I just sod off?"
"Thanks Spike. I knew you'd understand."
"Are you freaking kidding me?"
"No."
"Why should I leave?"
Xander told Spike about the 'love potion' and how it was taking effect.
"Ah! So you want me to leave so you can have some Slayer arse."
"Yeah, I guess you can say that."
"I don't Adam and Eve it, it's not true!"
"Spike it's freaking true! Now leave!"
"Hey!" the Vamp shouted. "I don't like that blooming tone of voice."
Xander sighed. "Spike, let me put it this way. GET THE HELL OUT!"
Spike backed up. "Alright, alright! I'll go."
"Thank you," Xander said.
Spike straightened his jacket. "See you later, mate!" he called as he left the room.
Xander flopped down on a chair and started to drum his fingers on the chair when there was a knock on the door. "She's here," he muttered to himself.
He opened the door and sighed. "Spike! I thought I told you to leave!"
"You did. And I said 'See you later, mate!' and guess what? It's later!"
"You're doing this on purpose aren't you?" Xander asked him.
Spike grinned and said, "Absobloodylutely!"
Xander pushed the vampire out of his room. "Look you're my virtue. My understanding is that you're my sidekick not my annoying pet vampire!"
Spike smiled. "Yeah but aren't sidekicks supposed to be annoying?"
"Not this annoying!"
"Fine. I'll go and get aled."
"That's all I ask."
Xander went back into his room and sat in the chair once again. There was another knock and Xander threw the door open to find-"Buffy!"
The Slayer stood there dressed up in on of the skimpiest lingerie outfits he had ever seen. "Where did you get that?" he asked her.
She smiled a dangerous and seductive smile. "I packed them just for you," she purred. Xander grinned and shout the door. He and Buffy were inches from kissing when there was another knock on the door.
"Spike!" Xander yelled as he opened the door. However it wasn't Spike who was on the other side. "Faith?"
Benji, Lorne, and Oz sat in Lorne's makeshift library reading thorough books when Oz heard Xander shout, "Buffy!" He smiled and when the others asked what he was smiling about he told them.
"That sly devil," Lorne said.
Oz once again heard Xander yell expect this time it was "Faith!" Oz looked at the others. "Uh, guys?"
"Yeah," Benji and Lorne said in unison.
"What if both slayers show up at Xander's room?" Oz asked.
"There we're up shit creek without a paddle," Benji said. "Why do you ask?"
"Because Faith just showed up."
It took a beat for what Oz had said to register in the demon's mind but when it did he, Oz, and Lorne took off downstairs.
Disclaimer: If I owned Buffy do you think I would waste my time with this shit? Hell No!
Category: ???
Author's Note: Enjoy this chapter.
Benji flopped down on the couch in his hotel room, once again trying to start Mr. Whedon's book. Once again knocking on the door interrupted him. "Who the hell is it?" the annoyed demon asked.
"I forgot my bloody key," Spike's voice said.
Benji smiled. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Just open the bloody door!"
Benji was shocked by the sense of urgency and fear in Spike's voice. Without a second thought he dashed to the door and unlocked it. "What the hell has you so worked up?" the demon asked his vampire roommate.
"I found out who's after Xander," Spike said.
"Who?"
"We've gotta hide," Spike said as he began too empty the closet of his and Benji's clothes.
"Who the hell is it?" Benji demanded.
Spike looked at his roommate. "How much do you know about the apocalypse?"
Xander settled in his chair for the first Scooby meeting he had been invited to in awhile. Giles was explaining how Angel had come back but Xander wasn't listening. After all he had found it. Turns out that Angel's love was so great that when Angelus was staked, Angel went to Heaven. Apparently they had given him a second chance as a human but Angel hadn't remembered any of it.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when someone flopped down next to him. He looked over and saw Faith. "Hi," he greeted.
"Hi," she said while clearly trying not to look him in the eye. It seemed that she was still a little bit embarrassed about their conversation. "Look about the other day," she started but she was interrupted by the doors bursting open.
"Hey everyone!" Benji shouted, a little too enthusiastic.
"Benji, what are you doing here?" Giles asked.
"Good to see you too, G-Man."
Giles grimaced at the use of his 'nickname' "What can we do you for?" asked Willow.
Benji glanced at Giles. "Have you told them?" he asked.
Giles shook his head. "I thought that you wanted to keep that a secret," said the watcher. Benji gave him a weird look and then realized what Giles was talking about.
"No! Not that! I'm talking about the fact that I know you guys fight evil' Benji said.
"What?" Buffy shouted.
"You know, you have quite the pair of lungs on you," Benji commented.
Buffy marched up to Xander. "How could you tell him? This supposed to be a secret!" the Slayer demanded.
"And what a fine job of keeping it you have done," Benji muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing."
Buffy turned her attention back to Xander when once again the doors to the library burst open. This time it was Spike who came running through them. "We've got to hurry!" Spike yelled.
In the next instant Spike found himself pinned to the floor by Faith and Buffy. "Bloody hell, Benji! You haven't told them yet?"
"Told us what?" Faith asked.
Benji laughed. "Spike here is friend of mine."
Before the demon could blink he was lying flat on the table with Angel holding him down. Willow appeared next him, crossbow in hand.
"What the hell was that for?' Benji shouted.
"Any friend of Spike is an enemy," Willow answered.
Xander, seeing that things were going nowhere fast, cut in. "then you'll have to kill me too," he said.
"Why?" Faith asked.
"Because I am a friend of Spike," Xander answered.
"You are?" everyone in the library asked him.
Xander rubbed his temples. "Yes. He saved Benji's life and this is how Benji knows we fight evil. He was also trying to save Giles the night Fereck kidnapped him."
Buffy and Faith released their grip on Spike, as did Angel on Benji. "Now Benji what do you want?" Giles asked.
Benji hopped off the table and straightened his jacket. "Fist off," the demon started as he dusted off his fedora, "You people have major trust issues. Secondly, how much do you guys know about the apocalypse?"
"Enough to know how stop it again," Buffy said.
Benji shook his head. "Nope! You guys got no clue what a real apocalypse is like," he said.
"Excuse but I have stopped a few apocalypse's in my time," Buffy said.
"Yeah. You've stopped secondary apocalypses but the real thing."
"And what's that?" Angel asked.
"That's an apocalypse that involves the harbingers of the apocalypse," Benji sated.
"The harbingers? Who are they?" Cordelia asked.
"In modern times they are more commonly referred to as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," Benji answered.
"Oh my dear god," Giles gasped.
"What? We don't like these guys?" Cordelia asked.
"Yes we do not like them," Giles snapped at her. "Their sole purpose is to bring about Armageddon."
"Who are they and how do we stop them?" Buffy demanded.
"I'm afraid it isn't that simple, Slayer," Spike said.
"Spike shut the hell up!" Buffy commanded.
"Buffy I'm afraid Spike is right," Giles said. "The horsemen are more than some simple hell-bent demon. They are the harbingers."
"Who are they!" the slayer demanded.
"On the black horse is Famine, on the red horse is War, on the pale horse is Death, and supposedly, although no one knows for sure, on the white horse is Christ," Benji explained.
The news that they could be up against Christ put the gang into a depressed mood. "That's a bummer," Oz stated.
Benji smiled. "But they're not here to end the world so Christ isn't going to be here!"
At the demon's announcement Xander and the others gave him looks. "Then who is?" asked Oz.
"Most likely the brown horse, which is Pestilence."
"What are they trying to do?" asked Angel.
Benji looked from Spike to Oz to Xander and finally Giles. "Don't know," the balance demon lied.
"So what do we do?" asked Xander, knowing they were after him.
"We hide," answered Spike.
"What? No way. We're going to fight these guys," Buffy said.
Giles shook his head. "The reason they are is not something little so until we figure out why they are here we best hide," the Watcher said.
"But where?" asked Willow.
"I know just the place," Benji said.
The Mayor sat behind his desk looking over a file on the balance demon named Benji when Mr. Trick entered. "You wanted to see me sir?" the vampire asked.
The Mayor looked up and smiled. "Yes. I have reason to believe that the Slayers will be leaving town," he said. "I want you to follow them."
Trick nodded. "Yes, sir."
Benji was driving them out of Sunnydale. That much was certain. Xander sat in the passenger seat of Oz's van while the werewolf, Spike, and Giles sat in the back. "So where are you taking us?" asked Oz.
Benji glanced at him. "You'll know when we get there."
Xander looked behind them at the Jeep that was following them. Buffy and Giles had insisted that Joyce be brought along incase anything happened to her. That was why Joyce, Buffy, Willow, and Angel were in the Jeep following them. Behind them was Cordelia and Faith in Cordelia's car.
Xander turned around just in time to see the 'Welcome to Los Angeles' sign.
Benji led Xander, Faith, and Angel up to what appeared to be a nightclub. "Where are we?' asked Faith.
"Caritas," Benji said.
"What's that?" asked Xander.
"A karaoke bar. It was burned down last year but he relocated it here and reopened the puppy," explained Benji.
"Who's he?" Angel asked.
"Krevlorneswath," Benji answered.
"Who?" Xander and Faith asked at the same time.
"Lorne."
The four 'friends' entered Lorne's to hear a someone singing a terrible version of 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?' "Yes," Xander said.
Benji led the others to bar and told the m to wait for him. "Xander can we talk about the other day?" Faith asked.
"Yeah sure." Xander turned to Angel. "You mind leaving?"
"Actually I do," Angel answered.
"That's great but I wasn't asking. Move."
Much to Xander and Faith's surprise he did just that. "So what about yesterday did you want to talk about?"
"The part where you called me beautiful," she admitted. Xander smiled.
"You liked that didn't you?" he asked her. Faith, embarrassed, nodded her head. "Would you like me to say it again?" he asked her. She smiled.
"Yeah. I'd like that."
"You're beautiful," Xander said. The two of them found themselves slowly moving toward one another and just as their lips were about to meet someone cleared their throat. Xander and Faith jumped and turned to see Benji and a green demon standing there.
"Did we interrupt?" Benji asked.
"No. Xander was checking to see if I had anything in my eye," Faith lied.
"And she doesn't," Xander added.
Benji grinned. "Right. Anyway, Xander and Faith this is Lorne. Lorne this is Xander and Faith."
"Hi," Xander and Faith said.
Lorne smiled and nodded. "So these are two of them?" he asked Benji.
"Yep."
"Jesus Benji, what the hell did you do?" came a new voice. This one was had an Irish accent and belonged to a man who was standing behind Lorne.
Benji faced the man with a small smile. "Hello Doyle."
"Hey. You know I've been trying to get a hold of you for twenty years and I haven't found a damn trace of you till today," the Irish man said.
"Well isn't that nice? See ya latter."
Doyle took Benji's hint and left. "We'll catch up later," he called.
Benji shook his head. "Good that guy is a pain in my ass. Back to the topic, Lorne has agreed to let us stay with him at his house."
"Where's that?" Faith asked.
"I was wondering the same thing," Benji said.
Lorne smiled. "It's an old abandoned hotel. I jazzed the place up a bit and now I call it home."
"Let's get the others and go," Angel said suddenly appearing at Xander's side.
"Why the rush, Deadboy?" Xander asked.
"You see that guy," Angel said pointing to a black man sitting at the end of in a purple suit.
"Mr. Trick," Faith said.
"Exactly."
Benji cut in. "Well let's go then."
Benji, Xander, Faith, Angel, and Lorne headed out to the cars. "Closing time," Lorne called out.
The demons and humans who had been in the bar immediately started to get up and walk out the door. "Faith do you see Trick?" Angel asked the Slayer
"Nope. He must have slipped out."
"Alright, lets go," Benji, commanded.
Buffy was looking out of the window when she noticed Mr. Trick exiting the club. He was in the middle of a group of what appeared to be humans so against her better judgment she let him go. Angel and the others then exited the club with a green demon in a matching suit following them.
"Alright people I like you to meet Lorne. He is being kind enough to let us stay with him so please be nice," Benji announced.
Buffy noticed that Benji looked at her when he said be nice. "Why did he look at me?" Buffy asked her mom. Joyce gave her daughter a look and smiled. The door opened and Oz popped in. "I thought Angel rides with us?" Buffy pouted.
"He's riding with Cordelia and Faith. Benji and the others had some stuff to talk about," Oz explained.
The gang arrived at the abandoned hotel that Lorne called home and immediately they all sprang from the cars they were in and started to stretch. "Never again will I ride with Cordelia," Angel announced as he joined Buffy by the front of the building.
The Slayer shook her head and smiled. "Have you seen my mom and Giles anywhere?" she asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Xander asked as walked around the corner.
"Know what?"
"That you mom and Giles are how should I put this, sleeping together."
"What?"
"Yep. I had the horror of walking in on them."
"Oh my gosh. Xand, I am so sorry," Buffy apologized.
"There's no need for you to be sorry. Your mom has found someone that she can grow old, older with. And cuddle with, and kiss, and I'm gonna barf."
Buffy laughed as Xander ran to a dumpster and pretended to vomit. "He's crazy," she said to Angel. The former vampire nodded.
"Okay, folks here we go," Lorne said as he made his way to Buffy and Angel. "Step aside please I have to unlock the door."
Buffy and Angel did as they were told. The demon produced a black key from his pocket and unlocked the door in what seemed like a single movement. He opened the door and before anyone could make a movement the lights were on. "How did you do that?" Willow asked.
"The lights are set up to come on when the door opens," Lorne answered.
Lorne led the group into the hotel and grinned when the gasped at the largeness of the lobby. "This place is huge," Cordelia said.
"You like, Missy?" Lorne asked.
Cordelia nodded. Giles and Joyce appeared in the doorway both looking a little perky. "Where were you two?" Benji asked them. Xander shook his head.
"Trust me. You don't want to know."
"Everybody, can have your attention please?" Lorne shouted. Once everyone had turned to face him the demon continued. "If you will all be kind enough as to follow me, I will take to your rooms."
Lorne lead them up the stairs and directly to the third floor. "Each floor has eleven rather large rooms," Lorne began, "Now the first floor is the lobby, bar, billiard room, and ballroom. It leads out to the building directly behind the hotel, which is the hotel's three-story gym. The first floor is the pool, and the spa. The second floor is basketball and the batting cages and then up top you have tennis, and racquetball.
"The second floor's rooms are all destroyed so no one goes there. Now here on the third floor three of the rooms can't be used because of major damage. Three have no floor, and two have no furniture. I knocked down a wall so that two rooms are now combined to make my room. So that leaves one room. Mrs. Summers you can have this one."
Joyce walked into the room. "Does it suit your needs?" Lorne asked.
"Yes."
"Very good. Let's continue."
Lorne led them up to the fourth floor, which was charred and smelled of smoke. "There was a small fire here," Lorne explained.
"Small?" Spike asked sarcastically.
Buffy gave the vampire a look and he said nothing more. They continued up to the fifth floor, which looked surprisingly new. "Are we still in the same hotel?" Spike asked.
"Yep. This and the first floor are in tiptop shape," Lorne said.
The green demon gestured to four doors. "These are all one really big room," he said. "Xander why don't you check it out."
A dumbstruck Xander walked in. "Wait a minute, how come the bloody whelp gets the good room," Spike protested. Benji and Faith both elbowed him.
"Faith this your room, Angel this yours, Oz yours, Willow yours, and Cordelia your room is on the end." Lorne turned toward the side with Xander's big room in the middle of it. "Benji you on one side and Buffy on the other."
"What about us?" Spike asked, indicating Giles and himself.
"Well I use the seventh floor for storage and I turned the sixth floor into a huge library so I guess you'll just have to room with Xander," Lorne said.
"What? No way! I'm not sharing a bloody room with that wanker," Spike protested.
"I can't believe this," Spike said as he stuffed his clothes into his dresser. He, Giles, and Xander may have had the biggest room but all of them felt it rapidly shrink when all three of them got in it. The room was painted gold with a large painting of angels above the largest bed in the room, which Xander had already claimed. The chairs cushions were red as was the floor. There was a Jacuzzi in the far corner and Spike and Giles's beds were side by side at the other end of the room.
Giles, not to keen about sleeping next to Spike, dragged his bed further down. "Are you trying to tell me somethin'?" Spike asked him.
"Yes. I'm trying to tell you that I don't want to sleep next to you."
"Oh. Well you could 'ave just told me!"
"I don't want to sleep next to you Spike. There are you happy?"
Spike shot him a glare but said nothing. "I'm going to the bloody pub," he announced.
"Ta, Ta. Have fun," Giles called after him.
"G-Man it's good to see you finally letting your hair down," Xander said.
Giles smiled. "Yes well, don't get used to it. I'm going to see Joyce."
Giles left leaving Xander all alone. There was a knock on the door and Xander let whomever it was in. Benji and Lorne walked in carrying a karaoke machine between them. Oz followed with a mike and a bunch of wires. "What is all this?" Xander asked as he shut the door.
"Karaoke," Oz explained.
Lorne and Benji set up the machine. "What the hell are you guys doing?" Xander asked.
Benji plugged in the microphone and turned to Xander. "Xand, after tonight this whole which Slayer is yours business can be put to rest."
"Really? How?"
"Remember that demon friend I told you about?" Benji asked him.
Xander nodded. "Well this is him."
Benji put the mike in Xander's hands and turned to Lorne. "Let him pick a song."
Lorne showed Xander the songs he could chose from and once he had picked one, Lorne pulled up three chairs. "Gents and Wolves, the X-Man will be singing Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"."
At this everyone, minus Xander, sat down. "Take it away maestro," Lorne exclaimed.
Xander had sung two notes before Lorne stopped him. "What? Am I that bad?" asked Xander.
"No. But you're a White Knight, kid. You're easier to read than a pop-up book," Lorne explained.
"So?" Xander asked anxiously.
"So I need to learn how to read a pop-up book," Lorne said.
"What?" Xander and Benji screamed.
"Look guys, something is not right. There is something in the air that's disturbing my powers."
"Like what?" Oz asked.
"Like chaos."
Outside the seven-story hotel Ethan Rayne smiled. He whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Hello?" came the voice on the other end.
"It's done. Our green friend doesn't know which Slayer he's destined for."
"That's good. Especially since I know."
"Really?"
"Honestly? No. But I will Mr. Rayne, I will."
"Am I done here?"
"Not quite."
"Any other plans?" Xander asked Benji.
"One. But it's kinda risky."
"Well seeing as I have the four horsemen on my ass, I don't think it can make things too much different. So what is it?"
"A love spell."
"What? Are you crazy? How is that going to help me?"
"It's a different type of love spell. It takes even the smallest ounce of lust for a person and then it times it by ten," Lorne explained.
"So if a Slayer has feelings for you they would show," Benji finished.
"I think it's too risky," Xander said.
"Didn't I warn him?" Benji asked Oz.
"Look Xand, after the spell is done only the people who knew the spell was being done would remember what happened," Lorne said.
"So Buffy and Faith won't remember?" Xander asked.
"Exactly."
Xander looked from Benji's face to Lorne's face to Oz's face and back. "Okay. I'll do it."
Xander watched as Benji and Lorne set up the ingredients. "Now only one of the Slayers should show affection towards you," Benji said.
A timer went off and Oz handed a beaker to Benji. "Thank you."
OZ joined Xander and the two friends watched nervously as Benji and Lorne finished the spell and poured a pink substance into the beaker. "Love potion No. 9," Lorne said to himself.
Benji handed the beaker to Xander. "What's this?" he asked.
"It's actually more a love potion then it is a love spell," Benji said.
"Do I have drink this stuff?"
"Yep."
Xander nervously chugged the concoction. "Feel any different?" Lorne asked.
"Nope. Should I?"
Lorne shook his head. "Just thought I ask."
"Actually since these are Slayers we're dealing with we put an little more toad testicles in there," Benji said.
"I just drank toad testicles?" Xander asked.
"Yep. But they're only in there for stamina. Just in case you and one of the Slayers get it on," Benji said.
"Oh."
"It will wear off in twenty -four hours though," Benji warned.
"Well lets go," Lorne said.
Oz, Lorne, and Benji began gathering up the ingredients and left. Xander sat down in his chair and waited for his true love to arrive. There was a knock on the door and Xander opened it up to find-"Spike!"
"What are hollering about?" the vamp asked.
"What the hell are you doing here?
"This is my room too, you know."
"Yeah but. Spike this isn't the best time."
"Oh well excuse me! I wouldn't want to upset the bloody whelp and his bleeding imaginary friends. Why don't I just sod off?"
"Thanks Spike. I knew you'd understand."
"Are you freaking kidding me?"
"No."
"Why should I leave?"
Xander told Spike about the 'love potion' and how it was taking effect.
"Ah! So you want me to leave so you can have some Slayer arse."
"Yeah, I guess you can say that."
"I don't Adam and Eve it, it's not true!"
"Spike it's freaking true! Now leave!"
"Hey!" the Vamp shouted. "I don't like that blooming tone of voice."
Xander sighed. "Spike, let me put it this way. GET THE HELL OUT!"
Spike backed up. "Alright, alright! I'll go."
"Thank you," Xander said.
Spike straightened his jacket. "See you later, mate!" he called as he left the room.
Xander flopped down on a chair and started to drum his fingers on the chair when there was a knock on the door. "She's here," he muttered to himself.
He opened the door and sighed. "Spike! I thought I told you to leave!"
"You did. And I said 'See you later, mate!' and guess what? It's later!"
"You're doing this on purpose aren't you?" Xander asked him.
Spike grinned and said, "Absobloodylutely!"
Xander pushed the vampire out of his room. "Look you're my virtue. My understanding is that you're my sidekick not my annoying pet vampire!"
Spike smiled. "Yeah but aren't sidekicks supposed to be annoying?"
"Not this annoying!"
"Fine. I'll go and get aled."
"That's all I ask."
Xander went back into his room and sat in the chair once again. There was another knock and Xander threw the door open to find-"Buffy!"
The Slayer stood there dressed up in on of the skimpiest lingerie outfits he had ever seen. "Where did you get that?" he asked her.
She smiled a dangerous and seductive smile. "I packed them just for you," she purred. Xander grinned and shout the door. He and Buffy were inches from kissing when there was another knock on the door.
"Spike!" Xander yelled as he opened the door. However it wasn't Spike who was on the other side. "Faith?"
Benji, Lorne, and Oz sat in Lorne's makeshift library reading thorough books when Oz heard Xander shout, "Buffy!" He smiled and when the others asked what he was smiling about he told them.
"That sly devil," Lorne said.
Oz once again heard Xander yell expect this time it was "Faith!" Oz looked at the others. "Uh, guys?"
"Yeah," Benji and Lorne said in unison.
"What if both slayers show up at Xander's room?" Oz asked.
"There we're up shit creek without a paddle," Benji said. "Why do you ask?"
"Because Faith just showed up."
It took a beat for what Oz had said to register in the demon's mind but when it did he, Oz, and Lorne took off downstairs.