CHAPTER THREE: Conformers are good for everything

Nice surprise for Yuffie/Leon fans... Not a nice surprise for Squall/Rinoa fans or Yuffie/Reno fans.

... and how many stages of shock are there? I only listed five, but I think there were six... does anyone else know?

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS. THERE. I SAID IT. NOW STAY AWAY, EVIL LAWYERS OF DEATH AND DOOM!

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Sephiroth rounded the corner...

... and saw the two boys hugging each other. HUGGING. Now, if they were girls, he could shrug that off, but males they were. This gave Sephiroth a large shock.

"OH MY GOD!" He freaked out.

"This is not happening... they were not hugging... they were not... they were not... oh my god, this isn't true... DAMMIT!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?? I TRIED TO RAISE A STRAIGHT SON THROUGH PORN AND THIS IS THE RESULT?? ... If only there was something I could do to get Riku straight, I would do anything... stop picking on Strife... stop killing tourists... be nicer to Aerith... anything, anything... *sigh* I guess... I failed. I'm a failure of a father, I don't deserve to live... Oh well, there could be worse things, like fainting from lack of air and waking up in a soon-to-be-married couple's house..."

He then fainted. From lack of air.

"Wow! My dad went through the five stages through shock in less than a minute..." Riku gasped. Truly a great accomplishment, no?

"... But when he wakes up, he's gonna be real mad... what are we gonna do??" Sora whimpered.

Riku patted him on the back. "It's OK... I know! Let's go visit Leon! He can help us!"

"Well, that's nice and all...", Sora agreed, "... but how are we gonna get yer dad to Leon's place anyway?"

Riku stared at his father's unmoving body.

"... We drag him."

And drag him the boys did.

~~~

It was a long way to Leon's place (at one point, while they were crossing a river, Sephiroth slipped and floated downstream. He got wedged between two rocks and was pretty easy to find), but finally, the boys made it.

"Yay! Now, maybe Leon will know what to do, even though there is a good chance that he won't, because I like bugging him!" Sora cheered.

Riku ignored that fact. Dragging around your behemoth of a father to have his memory wiped was not fun. Oh, no, not fun at all.

"Well, Sora, go knock on the door or something, I think he's starting to come to..."

Sora nodded, and started to walk the other way.

"Sora, the door is..."

"YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!" Sora ran forward with a sudden burst of speed, aiming a kick at the defenseless wooden door.

CRACK! Went the door.

"Yay!" went Sora.

Searching through Sephiroth's wallet for money to compensate for the damage, went Riku.

"^%$&%*&%&^$^%#@^%$(^&*%&^$^%# SORA!! HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU THAT KNOCKING WAS SUFFICENT!" went Leon, scowling, looking at the ruined remains of what was once his door.

"Squall, whossat?" Yuffie asked sleepily, shuffling up to Leon ("It's LEON, Yuffie..."). Both were wearing a bedsheet and both's hair was very messy. This indeed gave people certain ideas...

"Um... Hi?" Riku waved.

Leon snorted and set his tired blue eyes on the sleeping form of Sephiroth. The scowl quickly turned into a look of utter confuzzlement (IT IS A WORD! I'LL PROVE IT!).

"Errr... we need a mind-wiping mage and Sora said we should look for you..." Riku stammered.

"Wha?" Yuffie rubbed her bleary purpleish-gray eyes. Riku noticed a large sapphire ring on her finger. Leon quietly explained what they needed and Yuffie nodded.

"Eh, you don't need a mind-wiping mage... Jus' hold on..." Yuffie shuffled up the stairs, while Leon clutched the bedspread tighter.

Sora was still in a stage of confusion, so Riku decided to ask.

"Leon... what was Yuffie wearing?"

"A bedsheet, stupid..." Leon muttered.

"No, I mean on her finger..."

Leon suddenly went redder than a tomato about to be squelched to make ketchup and suddenly found great interest in the ceiling fan.

"An engagment ring..." He quietly answered, not daring to look at Riku's grinning face.

"What about Rinoa?" Sora asked, blinking up trying to find what Leon found so interesting. When he caught sight of the ceiling fan, Sora smiled with glee and started to follow it with his eyes.

"She's married to Seifer. Not that I liked her much anyway..." Leon shrugged. "And Yuffie says Reno's more interested in Tifa, whose single because Cloud is still trying to break Aerith and Seph up... sheesh that guy won't give up..."

Riku opened his mouth to query when the wedding would be, but he was interuppted by Yuffie bounding down the stairs, still clutching her bedsheet, this time carrying her Conformer.

Grinning, Yuffie skipped over to Sephiroth, turned to the blunt side of her Conformer (I don't really know about the Conformer, I didn't get it yet, but I'm saying it's blunt because she hasn't used it for about 5 years) and SMACKED poor Sephiroth on the head 6 times.

"AHHHHHHH!!! I'M SORRY, AERITH, I'LL STOP STEALING RIKU'S STUFFED NOIL*!!" Sephiroth bolted upright, looking around widely, stopping when he found Yuffie grinning at him. Quickly Sephiroth, by instinct, checked his wallet.

Three pairs of eyes turned to Riku, who blushed in a shade of red to rival Leon's, then back at Sephiroth, who was satisfied with the contents of his wallet.

"So, Yuffie, what's an ..'en-gage-mant r-ee-ng..." Sora attempted to ask. Yuffie giggled and looked over to Leon, who found sudden interest in the ceiling fan again.

"Well... me and Squall are gonna get married..." Yuffie happily explained, while Leon concetrated harder on the ceiling fan, muttering "It's Leon...".

"Eh? Excellent! When's the wedding?" Sephiroth smiled. He remembered quite fondly his and Aerith's wedding... the happy faces, the glare of Cloud, the ensuring food fight at the reception party, Leon getting smacked in the face with the bouquet...

"We haven't decided..." Leon answered. He brought his head back down. "But we were gonna invite you anyway, so tell Aerith..."

"Alright!" Sephiroth smiled, then noticed what Leon and Yuffie were wearing.

"Errr... IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO!" Riku loudly stated, and grabbed both Sora's hand and his fathers, then left the house in haste.

"Wow, a wedding..." Sephiroth exclaimed, looking up to the starry sky. "Aerith will be so happy... er, what were we doing in their place anyway?"

"We went there when you rounded the corner and..." Sora started, but Riku covered Sora's mouth.

"No reason, No reason at all."

~~~

Looking through his evil magic cauldron, The Chocobo Haired one looked at the retreating group that was Sephiroth, Riku and Sora.

"Soon..." he smiled, stroking the Buster Sword. "Soon.... MWAHAHAHAHA-OW! MY FINGER!!"

Cloud sucked on the finger. Poor finger. Whimpering, he tried to find a Band-Aid to fix his boo-boo.

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If there was one character I hated more than anyone else in FF7, it was Cloud. Oh, how I hated Cloud...

Anyway, what does this have to do with Sora and Riku? You will see, my friend, ah, you will see...

Anyway, next chapter will have a little more Cloud, and Selphie, Wakka, Tidus and Cid will show up, plus the return of DONALD AND GOOFY! Fun, fun, fun!

BTW, the wedding won't be for another chapter or so. And yes, I like the Leon/Yuffie pairing. Very much.