CHAPTER FOUR: Three good things happened today!

First, if anyone cares, my first Gold Chocobo in any FF game, Rufus, was born. Whoot!

Second, I kicked the crap out of Kingdom Hearts. I had the Lionheart (no way in hell am I using Cloud's weapon!), Donald had the Violetta (too lazy to go through Hades Cup again...), Goofy had Herc's shield (Genji shield sucks). I DID get the Secret trailer, and it confused me.

Third... Sephiroth killed me. I suspect he was angry that I never write him in character, and refuse too. Ow.

OK, sorry ^_^; ANYWAY, Happy Thanksgiving! KILL THE TURKEY!! KILL IT!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing here. Everything belongs to it's respective companies. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

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"Duuuuh... Donald, where are we going?" Goofy asked, scratching his butt in utter confusion.

Donald was quite disgusted at Goofy's stupidity, but since Goofy saved Sora from becoming a fried ex-Keyblade holder, the two had developed a non-homosexual bond.

Actually, Donald at first refused, he was sick of that stupid whiny brat Sora, but Daisy threatened to stop sleeping with him. Now that...well, Donald could not have that happen.

So here he was, waiting for the two stupid drugged chipmunks to find the stupid Gummi Ship, with a confused Dog and three bags carrying porn magazines... to keep him "entertained."

Meanwhile, a few other major KH characters were getting ready for the wedding too!

~~~

"Sephy, does this dress make me look fat?" Aerith asked, twirling around in her normal FF7 dress.

"You look great in it, Aerith!" Sephiroth nodded. "It's the dress I killed you in!"

Aerith stopped twirling.

"Hmmm... Maybe I should get that Wall Market dress out instead..."

~~~

"PRINCESS BELLE! JASMINE! SNOW WHITE! CINDERELLA! AURORA!" The White Rabbit called, holding a large bag of invitations and tripping all over the place.

The princesses of heart turned to him, concerned looks on their faces. Aurora helped the poor rabbit up while the rest dug through the invitations.

"Er... did I miss anyone?" The rabbit asked.

"YES!" cried out a shrill voice.

Alice stepped out of the shadows, wearing an angry scowl on her face.

"You always forget about me!" She whined. "All because I happen to be SMALL, you all ignore me! Or is it because I'm really not a princess?? I'M AS PRINCESS AS ANY OF YOU STUPID ROYAL BITCHES! I AM A PRINCESS OF HEART TOO! STOP IGNORING MEEEEE!"

Unfortunately, Alice was right. She was too small, and the other princesses just ignored her. Fuming, Alice stomped off, hell bent on causing death and doom (yay!) to come to the "Royal Bitches", as she liked to call them.

"You don't like being ignored, do you?"

Alice whirled around, only to see a familiar, Chocobo-Haired fighter grinning. He placed a hand on Alice's shoulder.

"I can help you be noticed. If you join me, you can take charge, get noticed, save the environment, blah blah blah..." Cloud rambled on.

Normally, a princess would consider her options and be concerned about the outcome. But Alice isn't a Princess by Disney Terms, so did she give a damn? Nope!

"Fine. We'll discuss it over lunch!" Alice agreed, shaking Cloud's hand.

Well, it looks like Cloud isn't gonna do any of his "EVIL HAPPY PLANS OF DEATH AND DOOM" alone, is he?

~~~

"Darkness is the essence of all hearts! I will use that darkness too..."

"Sir? An invitation to Leon and Yuffie's wedding has arrived!"

"A wedding? Excellent! That will be the perfect time to talk about my plans of darkness! I shall become one with it, and all hearts will collapse and give themselves to the darkness! HAHAHA-AIIIIIEEEEEE!! LOWLY ASSISTANT! CLOSE THE WINDOW, DAMMIT! THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT!!!"

"Yes, sir..."

(A/N: Guess who? :P)

~~~

"YOU ****ING KIDS!!! DO I PAY YOU TO SLACK OFF! GIT TO WORK OR I'LL KICK ALL OF YER ASSES SO HARD, YOU'LL FLY ALL THE WAY TO FINAL ****ING FANTASY X-2!!"

"Y-yes sir!"

Tidus, Wakka and Selphie started fixing up the gummi ship again, for fear that Cid would do just that.

"Cid! I am ashamed of you! Child labor is WRONG!"

Cid spun over to the source of the voice (he was lounging in a chair), only to face.... THE GREAT HERCULES!

"What?" Cid shrugged. "I pay them! HEY YOU! KID WITH THE FAKE JAMACAN ACCENT!"

"It's not fake, ya?"

"WHATEVER! TELL HERC HERE HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT HERE!"

Wakka stood up, faced Hercules, and stared at him straight in the eye.

"Yesterday, I made a DOLLAR!" He smiled, holding up a piece of green paper that had a one written in marker on it. "And Tidus sowed his hands together!" Wakka pointed to Tidus, who was trying to hammer with his mouth.

Hercules raised an eyebrow. For some reason, he was disturbed.

~~~

Now that everyone was invited to the wedding (except Cid, who later got arrested for child labor), it's time to...err... go back to the storyline? Naw, let's just skip straight to the wedding.

Reader: Hey! But you said the wedding wasn't in this chapter!

QUIET YOU! *casts Flare on his sorry ass*

Toasted Reader: O_o'...OK...

~~~

"Hey, where's the priest?" Leon asked, looking around. Yuffie tapped her foot impatiently. Sephiroth looked at the door for the tweleve-hundreth time.

"I dunno. And where's Cloud?" He answered, shaking his head. Cloud was late for his wedding too... maybe it was because he still had a crush on Aerith, eh, who knows?

Riku and Sora just stood there, holding a ring each. Sora was asleep, Riku kept kicking him to wake him up. Obviously, since the story revolves around them and this chapter does not, I stuck them in here while going through the chapter a second time.

"AHEM! I, THE PRIEST HAS ARRI-OW!"

Entering in a graceful way, Ansem fell from the sky and hit his head on the alter.

"Uh... yeah!" Ansem sat up and straightened his coat, then looked around smiling. "Um, now that I am here, let's get this great ceremony of darkness...uh, I mean, happiness, yeah...um... yeah."

Tense silence followed.

"Leon...Leonhart and Yuffie Kisaragi are about to be wedded. If anyone has any objections, speak up now, or try to sabotage the relationship later..."

More tense silence. Just then, the door flew open.

"I OBJECT!" Cloud yelled, running in, and tripping (everyone is quite clumsy in this fic, no?), landing on his spike and driving it securely through the ground.

"Ummm... and why is that?" Ansem queried, confused.

"Because... I LOVE AERITH, SEPHIROTH! YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!" Cloud yelled, trying helplessly to dislodge his head from the ground. He failed miserably. Aerith strode to Cloud, shaking furiously.

"Dammit, Cloud, I'm already married! This is Leon and Yuffie's wedding, and YOU RUINED IT!" Aerith screeched, eyes burning with more hatred than allowed in a person.

"YES! OPEN YOUR HEART TO DARK-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU TRANSVETITE FREAK!"

"...Yes ma'am..."

Aerith grabbed Cloud up from the ground and shook him like a mad woman that was embarrassed in front of all her friends at a wedding.

"NOW, YOU SIT DOW, SHUT UP, AND LET THE WEDDING CONTINUE!" She roared, throwing Cloud to a random seat., crushing all the pews in the surrounding area. She gracefully then stood in her spot, smiling and nodding.

"O-Ok... I-I now a-a-announce y-you...h-husband and w-w-w-w-wife... you may n-now k-kiss th-th-the bride..." Ansem choked, his tears now from the wedding but more of that was the fifth time someone called him a transvestite freak today.

And they did just that, more of making out then kissing, but same difference, eh?

Ansem burst into tears and ran away, Sora asked Riku why they were trying to eat each other, Riku cried, because of Sora's mass stupidity is as endless as Ansem's obsession with darkness, Aerith and Sephiroth cried and hugged, the other guests just stare at Cloud, who was bawling in the corner. the church then became flooded and everyone fled. MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Now, to the reception par-tee!...next chapter...

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MWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAA!!!!!! ...Yes, I think my writing was gotten steadily worse. I dunno. I just hate describing things. VERBS ARE EVIL! GO DIALOGUE! Anyway, next chapter, everyone WILL get a scene…

Ansem: *plays with a flashlight* Ooh, what does this button do?

*flashlight turns on*

Ansem: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! THE LIGHT!! MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE! THE LIGHT! THE LIIIGGHHTTT!!

I actually like Ansem. He's funny! *pokes Ansem's twitching body*