CHAPTER SIX: Hercules' bar

Yep, Herc has a bar, and why he was so late to Yuffie and Leon's party is explained, as well as who caught Yuffie's bouquet, plus some other stuff. And no, Cloud will NOT be anyone's father. I, in truth, was considering it (I'm not very fond of Sora, now that you mention it), but I against it.

Sora's parents will be revealed in this chapter, so don't worry.

And Justin... I know you like my Sephy B and Rufus Z stories, and that Yu-Gi-Oh one, but I'm getting this one out of the way first. And yes, everyone on fanfiction.net is gonna read this :) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SOUL BUTTERKNIFE!

DISCLAIMER: I'm getting tired of writing these, so check the last chapter for your stupid disclaimer!

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From where we last left off, Alice and Cloud have succeeded in destroying the unnamed restaurant that Leon and Yuffie's party was in, and the heroes who saved the day were Sephiroth, Cloud (after he blew it up) and Hercules, who arrived late.

"So, Herc, why were you late? And can you put me down?" Donald asked, waiting for the demi-god to release his grip on him.

"Eh, being the nice guy I am, I helped clean the church after it got flooded with human tears." Hercules explained cheerfully. A little too cheerfully for someone who was 15 minutes late.

"Guys, the party only lasted 15 minutes!" Snow White whined. "Where are we going to hold it now?"

"TO THE BAR!' Hercules roared, pointing to the Coliseum bar that had recently been added.

"YAY!" Everyone cheered. The party was back in full swing, and Yuffie and Leon can now get their presents!

But first, I have to put Sora and Riku in this chapter, as the story is about them and their... "relationship." *shudders*

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Sora sat down next to Riku on the bar table, watching Riku sniff his drink suspiciously before drinking it. Riku was satisfied, and downed his Vanilla Coke with much relish.

"Riku, are you OK? I was worried when you and your mom got stuck in the rubble..." Sora started, swirling his chocolate milk before drinking it.

"Yeah, my mom protected me... um, Sora? Do.. do you think Cloud will really come after me?" Riku stammered, a little paranoid. It probably would be no threat if it was just Cloud (his idea of evil was stealing hair gel, which Riku didn't use anyway), but Alice seemed pretty ticked off...

"Don't worry Riku!" Sora reassured him, jumping up on his stool. He swung his newly returned Ultima Weapon around and put on a dramatic pose. "I'll protect yo-AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

The bar stool slipped under Sora and he came crashing down on Riku, making them both land in a VERY AWKWARD POSITION. Had it not been for Sephiroth and Ansem arguing over what is better: Skateboarding (Seph) or Snowboarding (Ansem), it would have been a very odd sight indeed.

Both boys stared at each other for a few seconds, apparently confused, then Riku's face blushed a deep crimson red and he pushed Sora off and set back on his bar stool, trying to cover the red on his face.

"Oops! Sorry about that!" Sora smiled sheepishly, and he went back to drinking his chocolate milk and wondering why Riku had his face buried in his arms. Was Riku sad?

"SNOWBOARDING IS MUCH BETTER! WHEN YOU FALL, IT'S SOFT, AND YOU CAN WATCH DUMBASSES GET HIT BY TREES!"

"NO, SKATEBOARDING! IT'S WAY BETTER TO WATCH DUMBASSES FALL HEADFIRST ON THE PAVEMENT! YA CAN'T PULL OFF A 900 ON A SNOWBOARD!"

"OH YES YOU CAN, SEPH, I'VE DONE IT BEFORE!"

Ignoring the sudden fight and had broken out between the two siblings, Sora inched forward to Riku, poking him on the back of the head to see if he was alive or not. Just then...

SMACK!

"AUGH!! HEARTLESS!" Sora screamed, grabbing the thing that had smacked him on the back of the head. He looked confused at it. It was a bouquet, with red and white thorn less roses. A flower Heartless? Wow, they get gayer by the minute!

"Awww..." Hercules laughed. "Sora caught the bouquet."

"I think he's a little too young to get married." Sephiroth commented, hanging from Herucles' left arm.

"What are you talking about, Yuffie and Leon got married, they're about 2-3 years older than him! Dumbass!" Ansem retorted, hanging from Herc's right arm.

"OH YEAH?? PUNK! HERC, LEMME DOWN, I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"YEAH, LET'S SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN, SEPH! HERC, LET US DOWN!"

"Sure thing, I have customers to serve." Hercules dropped both of them on the ground and let them kill each other while he served the other customers, who wondered why there were so many people in dresses and tuxedos in a bar.

"Everyday gets weirder and weirder..." Riku groaned. The author seemed to hate them all.

"FREE BEER!!" Yuffie drunkenly yelled, stumbling all over the place and tripping over her dress. "EVEN FOR THE UUUNDERAAAAGE!"

Riku looked at Sora and grinned. His day had finally come.

~~~~~

When Riku woke up the next morning, there was only one word that could describe the intense pain in his head.

Ow.

Indeed, alcohol, loud music and bright lights, while an enjoyable combination, do not mix. Riku learned this the hard way. Cursing, he sat up and blinked, finding out that he was in his room, painted dark blue, had clothes, food and Yu-Gi-Oh cards strewn all over the place, and his beloved blue Noil, resting in the hands of...

...Sora?

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Riku screamed. Sora bolted upright, looking dazed and alarmed. A loud thump could be heard under the bed and a series of cursing followed.

"SORA?? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?? ... And who the hell is under it?"

"What? I'm under who's bed?" came a muffled reply.

"Quiet, you, I'm talking to Sora!" Riku snapped, not really caring who was under his bed, but more concerned why him and Sora were in a bed together... topless.

"Riku! Oogie-Boogie's back!!" Sora squealed, and grabbed on his friend's arm in fear. Riku rolled his eyes.

"I am NOT that bag of bugs!" the voice angrily replied, and another bang was heard. "I should banish you all to the darkness! Mwahahahahahahahaha!"

"Oh, it's just Ansem..." Sora let go of Riku's arm and sighed in relief.

"What? How did you know it was me? Dammit!"

"Ansem, shut up or I'll be coming down there with a flashlight!" Riku threatened. Nothing was heard from under the bed for awhile. This pleased Riku. Now, on to bigger things...

"Sora, why are you sleeping with me, on my bed?"

"Oh..." Sora yawned. "You were all drunk and started hitting on my mom... she came to pick me up, they couldn't go to the wedding... and then you all just kinda passed out... n' your mom just invited everyone to come here. I remember your dad kicking Ansem under our bed... I was really tired, so my mommy just let me sleep here..."

"AH HA! SO THAT PIG DID IT!"

Riku's face paled, if it could get any paler.

The door cracked open, and a woman with chocolate brown hair and garnet eyes cheerfully poked her head in. Sora's face lit up with glee and he ran over to her and hugged, more of tackled, her midsection.

"MOMMY!" Sora squealed.

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I left y'all hanging here. So, who is Sora's mother? And yes, the father is there too! FF7 players would probably figure this one out quick...