CHAPTER EIGHT: I got skeelz! And fans!

106 REVIEWS! YAY!!! *throws party*

Since I have this many, thank you's are in order. I did not copy and paste these names, no, I TYPED THEM OUT! I'M NOT BEING LAZY FOR ONCE, YAY!!

Thanks to:

Michiko Tsukihiro

Artymas

Kaya

Porcelain Berry

Joce

Auron no Aijou

Rilox

Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan

Tripmon

Linael

kairi

mizustarangel

Cassiel Darkfan

Anonymous reviewer #1 (hehehehe...)

bob

Hibashira no Tenshi

sailorrose(?)

Princess Urd

Riku-lover Melissa

SarahStarFlower

Sniper Paul

UkeOmi

pureVENOM

One Winged Kuja

Penguin

Guardian Storm Demon

YugiKitty and MalikKitsune

Aras Melanki

Mystik Amethyst

Anonymous Reviewer #2

Harle

Holly Short

Over the Edge

Anonymous Reviewer #3

Maho Kiwi

The Infernal Jynk

Moo

Blood

pretearwink

Asaka Kiseragi

Miaka Killer

Jade Sedai

DD

Nayru Toast

LoverOfSilverHairedBishies

Mako

Keiko

-Archer--

Phoenix Flower

Squall's girl

Sliverwings

Snowri Leonhart

Chibi Riku

Claire Kairi

Anonymous Reviewer #4

Rem-chan

Malathyne

CybelWitch

Patches

Crisis Haylo

Anonymous Reviewer #5

Phoenix Pinion

Kerro Starbane

Nasnus

Arashi Strife

cko

Mbullfighter

Nezumi

And how can I forget Justin? The guy who gets to read the chapters before y'all do. Oh, he isn't 21 years old... Or a stud for that matter… Hahahahaha!

DAMN! That was a lot... Oh, and yes, I'll be a tad bit nicer to Cloud. A TAD BIT, MIND YOU! I STILL HATE THE GUY!

Disclaimer? Chapter two, please.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice sat in her bedroom, pondering over what kind of stunt she could pull to get revenge. Why was Alice so hell bent on revenge? The world may never know.

Cloud, however, was playing with her Barbies.

"Oh Ken, I love you, will you marry me?" "Oh, I would, Barbie... But I love Teresa, not you!" "WHAT? BASTARD!" "Ahhh! Barbie! Calm down and put the car dow-AAAAAAHHHHH!! I'M STUCK UNDER THE CAR AND BURNING!"

Alice turned away, deeply disturbed. Cloud may be stupid, but he had enough evil potential to overthrow even Sephiroth... which he did. Once.

~~~~

While Aerith was tending to Sephiroth's leg ("Why can't you use Great Gospel on me too?"), Ansem was playing with his new glowstick, which was graciously given to him by a friendly reviewer.

"Hehehehehe, I can make the Keyblade go purple!"

Um, yes. Anyway, now that there is a break in the plot, do you know what this means?? THAT'S RIGHT, READERS, IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER...

Readers: SORAxRIKU IMPLICATION!

Right!

~~~~

"Blargh. My shirt still has beer stains all over it..." Riku surveyed his shirt, wishing he had some Febreeze or something to cover up the smell. Sora just laughed.

"It was so funny, watching you go drunk! Tee hee, you gave me a kiss!"

"WWWHHAAAATTT???"

Riku fell off from the couch, banging his head on the floor. He looked on Sora, bewildered. Sora just flashed off his cheesy smile.

"Well, you said you loved me..." Sora scratched his head.

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! But you were drunk, and you just asked for a kiss, then you just pecked me on the cheek... then you started doing the Chicken Dance with Aurora, THAT was just disturbing..." Sora explained.

Riku felt very sick in his stomach. Dammit! Why did he have to consume large amounts of alcohol??

"Actually, everyone spilled secrets that night... Sephiroth still watches the Teletubbies, Aerith likes to go on midnight killing sprees, Ansem's still a virgin, Leon likes pink fuzzy bunnies, Yuffie does speed, and Donald and Goofy have done each other... once..."

Riku blinked. Hmm... he decided to store this info in the back of his head for blackmail purposes later.

"But... I said... I love you?"

"Yeah, but you were drunk!"

Riku pondered over this... DID He love Sora? Was his confession a result of being drunk... or was there more?

"Sora...I..." He started, but was quickly cut off by a high pitched squeal. It seemed Sephiroth tried to stand up before his wound healed.

"What Riku?"

"...Nothing."

Sephiroth sat back down, after getting pelted with rotten tomatoes by rabid SoraXRiku fans who expected to see a real, non-alcohol induced confession. He glared at them, and they glared back.

Sephiroth no liek readers!

"GRAMMAR!" Leon yelled, and he found it fit to smack the author for her insolent misuse of the English Language.

~~~~

"Alice... when are we gonna follow with the plaaaaan?" Cloud whined, sick of standing guard at Sephiroth and Aerith's front door. Alice shushed him and grinned.

"Look, dumbass-"

Hey, how did Alice know what I named Cloud?

"... I have here something that will scare the crap out of everyone... while everyone is distracted, I want you to grab Riku, and drop the ransom note." She instructed, pointing to a writhing plastic bag.

"Why not Sora? He's the Keyblade Master..."

"Because, Riku is a Cetra, and we'll need him!"

"Ce...tra? Why does that sound familiar?"

"SHUT UP, CLOUD, AND JUST GRAB RIKU WHEN I RELEASE THIS THING!"

Alice immediately calmed her down. Now was not the time to strangle her partner in crime. She had work to do. Laughing, she dumped the contents of the bag through the window, pleased with the horror that she unleashed.

"YOU GOT MAIL! YOU GOT MAIL! YOU GOT MAIL!..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Cloud jumped through the window and quickly ran through the room. He stopped. There were TWO small boys... but... which one was Riku again?? He desperately searched his mind for a mental picture, but since he only has room for three pieces of information in his tiny brain, he couldn't tell which one was the Cetra child!

"CLOUD! HURRY UP, THE DAMN AOL THING WON'T LAST FOREVER!"

Cloud decided to take both of the children. He grabbed them with ease and threw the random note at what he thought was Sephiroth, then leapt out the window. Without taking a second glance at whom Cloud grabbed, Alice made a run for it, Cloud following.

"YOU GOT MAIL! YOU GOT...gOOOdD ByEEE...ee.."

Yuffie was the first to peek up through the couch. She stared at the plastic bag in fear. AOL was a power not to be misused... as it is daily.

"YUFFIE! GET BACK!" Leon yelled, grabbing his wife and holding her protectively. Yuffie giggled. Leon could be so sweet at times!

"Is everyone all right?" Reno called. Everyone grunted, but Tifa noticed that the couch was empty. No silver-haired smartass or brown-haired dolt...

"Where's Sora and Riku??" She cried, looking under the pillows. Frantically, she checked the various rooms in the bottom floor, with the help of a just-as-hysterical Aerith. It was all in vain, though, as the boys were nowhere to be found...

~~~~

"Cloud, did you get the right one?"

"Ummm... I got both of them..."

Alice blinked.

"You mean you got the both of them so that both sets of parents would be thrown into hysterics and also to ensure that the Keyblade Master cannot go out and reclaim his friend, since it has been proven in video games that parents are the worst characters in any RPG due to their so called moral values?"

"...Yeah, what you said." Cloud nodded.

"GENIUS!!" Alice threw her arms up in the air, then gave Cloud a hug. "Obviously, you were just playing stupid! You must have had this planned all along! Cloud, you're the greatest! Here, have a cookie!" She graciously rewarded Cloud with a very yummy cookie.

"Yay!" went Cloud. The author twitched with the extreme desire to drop an anvil on Cloud, but refrained, remembering her New Year's Resolution (even though it wasn't New Years yet): Be nice to Cloud.

"Um, Ms. Alice, ma'am, these ropes are tight..." Sora whined.

"QUIET YOU!"

Allow me to describe where they are. Alice and Cloud found out that the abandoned shack in the Destiny Islands, while annoying close to the theme park, made a good hiding place, since no one dared enter (the last person who did "mysteriously" got sliced in half by bullets) and the theme park music drowned out all sounds.

Sora and Riku were tied up, sitting next to the Save Point. Riku scowled and glared at the Save Point, which just flashed and looked shiny. It was mocking him, he knew it.

"STOP MOCKING ME!!" Riku screamed and lunged for the Save Point. He fell down, and Sora landed on top of him. Before anyone gets any mental images (however sweet they may be... hehehehehe...), Sora and Riku are back to back. As a result, Sora gets to stare at the ceiling and Riku gets crushed.

For some reason unknown, the shack shuddered and a piece of wood fell from the roof, smacking poor Cloud on the head.

Or it was supposed be to like that. The wood ended up being imbedded in yet another one of Cloud's spikes. Now he would be walking around with green hair at the back, a dried up Restore Materia and a wooden plank. This did not bother Cloud at all, for he was much too stu... I mean, IGNORANT to care...

Alice chuckled at the author's pathetic attempt not to bash Cloud.

~~~~

Back at Aerith and Sephiroth's, Alice's prediction had come true: Both set of parents were thrown into hysterics. Only Ansem, Leon and Yuffie were the only sane ones, with the females crying and the males still searching the place.

Yuffie stared at Ansem, or more at his face, for a long time. Finally, she climbed on the coffee table and plucked the paper airplane from his hair and rested her elbow on his head, reading the note out loud.

Dear Aerith and Sephiroth:

We (I mean, Cloud and Alice), have your son, Riku. All you must do to get him back is simple: Give me your Black and White Materia (Super Nova would be a plus) and Cloud wants Aerith to marry him. It's that simple. Do it, or Riku will be handed to Hojo; he's looking for new Cetra specimens and he'll pay a good price for Riku...

Alice and ..ugh, fine, you can sign it... Clod

ps aerith u have two mary me in TOO dais ok?

Yuffie rose an eyebrow. She was quite disturbed.

"Hey! Do you know what this means??" Ansem said. He started pacing around, making Yuffie lose her balance and fall. Leon caught her and gave her a sweet grin.

"We could save Riku and Sora! Imagine, we'd be heroes, PLUS I might get more respect! Wow!" Ansem's eyes sparkled with hope and all that sappy Disney stuff. He quickly shook his head, alarmed by how Out of Character the author writes him and even more disturbed by the fact that since this was a humor fic, it was allowed.

"Count me in!" Yuffie squeaked. Leon solemnly nodded. He thought it was stupid, but there was no way Yuffie and Ansem could survive each other for more than twenty minutes...

"Alright! Let's-"

"You're new at being a good guy, right?" Leon asked. Ansem frowned.

"Hell no, I'm not being a good guy! I'm saving Riku and Sora for my own personal gain, not out of the goodness of my heart!" Ansem laughed. Then he stopped and frowned. "I don't even have a heart..."

"Who cares! Leon, let's save Sora and Riku Ansem's way, it looks like more fun!" Yuffie decided, then she took out her beloved Conformer. Oh, how she was going to have fun...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so, the heroes in this fic will be Ansem, Leon and Yuffie! Yay!

Hitting 106 reviews has been my biggest achievement yet (in my whole entire sad life). Is it just because more people come to the KH section or is it because there's not that many stories being posted, letting a story stay on the first page? I dunno, but this without a doubt is my most popular fic yet...

That said, this baby will get finished hopefully soon. And if anyone wants one, I may make a sequel... if they want, anyway. Thanks guys and gals, I really appreciate all the feedback! YAY!