Chibi Sikeeh: Nice to see Evil Coffee is making a comeback from it's months of being succeeded by the DBZ fics.
Chibi Fique: I liked the DBZ fics...
Chibi Sikeeh: *thwaps Fique upside the head*
Chibi Fique: Heehee.
Mayakashi: You guys are pathetic
Chibi Sikeeh: Shut up muse!!
Mayakashi: Will you STOP calling me that?!
Kiriska: Can we PUH-LEEZE get on with it!?
Chibi Fique: Alright, alright. Sunrise Inc. owns GW not us, leave us be.

+++++Evil Coffee Valentine's Special of Doom+++++

Chibi Sikeeh: "Evil Coffee Valentine's Special of //Doom//"? Someone's had waaay too much Invader ZIM.
Kiriska: Shut up!



BRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!

February 14th. 6:00am SST. (Standard Space Time) Valentine's Day morning. Duo's hand slammed onto his alarm clock, silencing it. The chestnut haired pilot sat up in bed and grinned. Today would be the perfect day for a certain coffee to make an appearence. After a quick breakfast in the shack, Duo gathered his supplies and exited his home....

Heero grumbled as he sat down at the small breakfast table in his apartment. Today was Valentine's Day. Relena would come to bug him veeeerrry soon...and she would not give up til the day was through...The Perfect Solider sighed. *DING DONG* The doorbell sounded. Heero glanced at the clock, it was only 6:21 am, Relena couldn't be here already could she?

"HEY HEERO!!" Duo's voice rang out, Heero breathed a small sigh of relief, but stopped in mid-sigh. Duo, on Valentine's Day, bet he had lots of plans to annoy people. Reluctantly, the brown-haired boy made his way to the door. "What took YOU so long?!" Duo bounced into the apartment, obviously hyper and up to something. "What are you up to this time?" Heero sighed. "What makes you think I'm up to something?" Duo chirped innocently. "If you're not, then I shall shoot myself in the head." Heero stated monotnosly.

"Aw, dun do that Hee-chan, you're right." Duo grinned. "You're not gonna use that damn coffee again are you?" Heero pointed to the braidboy's backpack. Duo's grin spread wider, "Maaaaybe." Heero hung his head, "Who now?" "Ehhhhh, I was thinking...Reee-leeeaaann-ahhhhhh..." Heero joined Duo in grinning. "Y'know she's having a party tonight and she's gonna try and get me to go." Duo nodded, " I know...make her invite me." "Heh, ok, just don't--"

*DING DONG!*

Heero looked out his little peeking hole at the visiter outside. It was indeed, *Relena*. Heero opened the door slowly. As soon as the door was wide enough, Relena glomped Heero and sqeezed HARD. "Git off me, bitch!" Heero growled, Duo gave him a look. Relena payed no attention; "Heero! Heero! HEERO! I'm having a party today and I thought it would be SO romantic if you came, and you can be my date and we can dance, and do romantic stuff, and you can kiss me, and it'll be like so romantic and you can kill me again if ye'want, and it'll be so cool, and so you can come, and like yeah, and it starts at 6 and you can bring me chocolates and it'll be SO romantic, and Heero you're gonna come, and it'll--"

"Goddamnit, bitch, shut up! You just repeat yourself LIKE A MILLION TIMES!!" Heero roared. Relena whimpered; "But Heero, don'tcha love me? Aren'tcha gonna come so you can dance with me and kiss me and and and..." Duo jumped in, "Can I commmme?!?!" he chirped. Relena's face twisted in disgust, "You? You dirty, smelly, ugly, rotten, demonic, insane, weird, icky, slimely, stupid....thing?! At MY beautiful pink Valentine's party!?" Relena shouted as if she wouldn't do that if Heero told her to.

"I ain't goin' unless Duo can come." Heero stated simply. Relena instantly said; "FINE! COME you dirty snot bag!" then turned and continued yakking about Heero and herself. "Okkayyy...it's been nice, but now I must scream...SEE YOU AT SIX!!" Heero yelled and pushed Relena out the door. "Heehee, we gonna have FUN!" Duo giggled. "Now, what kinda food you got in this dump?"

Quatre rang the doorbell to Relena's mansion, just about everyone in the colony had been invited to the Forgien Minister's Valentine's Day party, even the circus. Relena answered the door, "Hello! Quatre, Trowa, have you seen Heero?!?" The clown shook his head, "No." "He and Duo are coming." Quatre replied. Relena made a brief face of disgust then let her guests enter the mansion.

"You're place is better than this, Q-man..." Trowa muttered under his breath. Quatre grinned. There were already quite a few people there; Wufei, Sally, Zechs, Noin, Une, Mariamiya...various government people and colony officals. Relena was fashioned in a bright pink ballroom dress with silky red ribbons and bows. It looked ridiculous. Quatre and Trowa made their was to some friends.

"HEERO! You finally came!! What are those? Chocolates!? For me!? THANK YOU HEERO!! Come in, come in!!" Relena was pink with excitement, much to Heero's dismay, but Duo was snickering menicingly. The Perfect Soldier was dragged away by the Pink Princess of Pink. Meanwhile Duo joined up with Trowa and Quatre. Wufei was off somewhere trying to be unnoticed.

"Duo...I don't like that look on your face..." Quatre started. Duo's just kept grinning. Trowa sighed, "You have coffee don'tchu?" Duo kept grinning. The arab smiled, "Relena?" Duo's grin continued to expand. Trowa smacked his forehead, "Thanks for the warning, I'll go hide now." The clown stalked off. Duo handed Quatre a camera, "Here, you know what to do." "No way, Duo, I'm not helping youi--awww hell, I hate the bitch too, good luck!" Duo giggled.

Poor Heero was backed in a corner, Relena was inching closer. "HEY RELENA!" Duo bounced over. The bruinette looks very annoyed; "What do you want, Duo?" she growled. Shinigami ignored her; "I was wonderin' if you want somma dis wonderful drink! It's supposed to make people fall in looooove'cha!" he chirped. Heero slipped a smirk. Relena squeeled and grabbed the glass from Duo's hand. "Now Heero WILL love meee!!" She sang loudly and gulped the drink. Relena went back to harassing the Perfect Soldier.

But several seconds later,.....Relena was on top of one of the refreshment tables. She had the bowl of strawberry punch. Trowa was hiding behind the large pink curtains. Quatre was beside him with the camera. Wufei was running around cursing his head off. Duo was happily gathering chocolates. Heero was off to one side, unsure what to do. "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY!" The Vice Forgien Minister screamed throwing the bowl of punch at some poor colony offical. The man ducked and ran out the door screaming; "That's it, no peace with our colony!!!"

"HEEEERRRROOOOOO!!!" Relena ran towards the unexpecting soldier with open arms. "Ack! DUO! What the hell is she doing?!?!?" Duo shruged and laughed. Wufei was still cursing. Relena looked like some hideous monster in pink. Heero didn't look very perfect running from her. Relena soon lost intrest and grabbed a razor. Trowa snorted as she began to badly shave her head.

The room was completely TPed. Duo was laughing and mooching on food. Wufei ran out of the house screaming. Everyone was gone except Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Heero, and Relena. The press would be here soon. "I HATE PINK!!" Relena found a chainsaw and started killing everything. "Eeep!" Duo ran off. "Hey!!" Quatre ran after him. "AH!" Trowa followed Quatre. "Don't leave me!" Heero ran off as well.

Relena ran off with the chainsaw...out the door..into the unexpecting world...



"And Miss Vice Forgien Minister Dorlan was sentenced to 6 months in the ayslum on L56237. Damage costs for her rampage today totaled 4,243,223,120 dollars and will be payed with by her mansion...which has been sold...." Heero clicked off the TV. Duo lay upside down on the couch. "That was fun. Want some coffee Heero?" "As long as it's normal coffee." Heero answered.

"Aw man, we're outta chocolate,.." Duo whined as he got up to brew coffee. "What? All that candy you stole at Relena's today?" "Uh-huh." Duo handed Heero some coffee, then drank some himself. "Hey wait,..this tastes like.." Heero's eyes went wide. So did Duo's. The door flew open and 2 more Insane People went off...

OWARI

Chibi Tiyan: Short I know.
Chibi Sikeeh: Not much coffee-ness..
Kiriska: Wah, I'm losing my touch aren't I?
Chibi Fique: Maybe.
Mayakashi: Eh.
Kiriska: WAH! Review and tell me!