Author's Note**
This is a warning. You are about to take a journey through the convoluted mind of one fifteen year old Bobby "Iceman" Drake. Everyone knows what Bobby is like on the outside, but no one has any idea what goes on inside his head. And hopefully, they'll never find out.
Let's go out to the movies.
Let's go out to the movies.
Let's go out to the movies . . . and have ourselves a snack.
Hmmm. Snack. I could go for a snack right now. What time is it? Almost four . . . I've got a Danger Room session with Wolverine at four. I better go down to the kitchen now because by the time I get done with that I'm going to be too busted up to move.
Now that that's settled, what incredibly ingenious way should I use this time to ride to the kitchen? Ice wave? Ice patch? Ice skateboard? Wait, don't I have a mental note somewhere about that? Right, here it is. Bobby- don't ever make an ice skateboard again or Rogue will be very, VERY upset. That would be bad. Okay. Yanno, she's kinda scary. Someone who's big and strong and fast should probably let her know. I could do it, but I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. Plus, I'm way too busy thinking up ways to torture Roberto for sticking that fish in my bed the other day. That reminds me. The voodoo doll that Kitty showed me how to make should be all dry in a couple more hours maybe. All I need is a big fat pin to jab into it and then Roberto will be sorry he ever played a trick on me. Nobody puts a fish in Iceman's bed and gets away with it scot free. We's will smash him. . . SMASH HIM!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Huh? What was I thinking about again? I'm at the top of the staircase and I was going . . . somewhere. Hmmm. I can't remember. Oh well. What time is it? Almost four. I have a Danger Room session with Wolverine at four. I better get something to eat before I go because I'm going to be too busted up afterwards to move.
Now that that's settled, what incredibly ingenious way should I used this time to ride into the kitchen? Ice wave? Ice patch? Ice skateboard – wait a minute. This seems really familiar. Doesn't it? I can't remember. Oh well. Ice skateboard it is then.
Let's go out to the movies.
Let's go out to the movies.
Let's go out to the movies . . . . and have ourselves a snack.
"Bombs away!"
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The only way to travel! Wait a sec . . . is that someone at the bottom? Crap.
*CRASH* *POW* *OOMPH*
"Goddamit Bobby! Ah told ya neva to make this stupid thing again. Ya nearly killed me."
*SNAP*
Aww man, she just busted my ice board. On her head. Jesus she really is scary. She could really benefit from anger management class. Whoa there Bobbo, you didn't actually say that out loud, did you? Look at her face. She looks pissed, but not too violent so I guess you're okay. That was close though. Don't say anything back. Just look sheepish and wait for her to pass. Any verbalization of what you are thinking will get you killed. And if you're killed, you can't go on a mad rampage of the city, can you?
Mad rampage of the city? What? Who are you?
I'm you.
Me? But I thought I was me.
You are. And I am too.
And me. Don't forget me.
Wait, now I'm confused.
That's why you have us.
How many of you, or me, are there?
Look, you're already confused enough so don't think about it anymore. Listen up; this is what we're going to do. We're going to go to the kitchen and have ourselves a tasty little snack so we can shut your friggin' stomach up. And then the real work is going to begin.
Real work?
Shhhh. He gets like this sometimes, so just let him talk.
Jesus, why do you always do that to me? You're always bringing me down, you know?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. Go ahead. I won't say another word.
Good. Now where was I?
You said something about real work?
Right, right. This is the plan. We're going to take care of Roberto once and for all. The voodoo doll is a nice touch, but he deserves more than that, for all his little comments. We're going to get him good.
Uh . . . wait. I don't think I like the sound of that. I mean, Roberto's my teammate. Sure he can be kind of a jerk sometimes, but we're on the same side.
Oh really? Well kiddo, let me tell you something and it's going to be quite a shocker.
I don't know if you should tell him that. It might upset him.
The kid's gotta learn to deal with things that upset him. Life isn't always oranges and bananas.
What the hell are you talking about? How did you get in my head in the first place?
That's not important. Anyway, you know those purple turtles that keep coming after you, trying to eat you whenever you try to go to sleep?
What about them?
Roberto's their leader. He's the one whose been sending them after you.
What! THAT BASTARD! WHERE IS HE?!
See? Now look what you've done. You've got him all crazy.
Shaddup, will ya? Damn you get on my nerves sometimes. Hey, Bobbo calm down there. Running off after him now isn't going to solve anything. I told ya, we got a plan and it's brilliant. Because you're brilliant Bobbo.
That's why they call me Iceman.
. . . .Riighhttt. Anyways, here's what we're gonna do. So pay attention.