Kiriska: So I skipped the Thanksgiving special. I'll do it eventually...maybe. If not, then this will probably be the last thing I'll write pertaining to Evil Coffee, offically. Of course I may go back on this, and write EC9 or something, but I doubt it. The series has dragged out long enough, a year and a half. Duo's deranged, yes. Hope you enjoyed all the EC stuff, and enjoy this one last piece. u_u; Thanks for stayin' with me people.






12 Days of Coffeemas
(12 Days of Christmas)


On the 12th day of Christmas, the braidboy gave to me...

12 burning buildings
11 cans of coffee
10 million in damage
9 singing jailbirds
8 dancing hobos
7 teachers screaming
6 parties 'xploded
5 DOZEN GOATS!
4 angry mobs
3 stupid pilots
2 random chickens

And a headache with a cup of (caffinated!) nog...


Deck the Halls
(Deck the Halls)

Deck the halls with lots of coffee, Fa la la la la la la la!
'Tis the season to be hiding, Fa la la la la la la la!
Don we now our tranquilizers, Fa la la la la la la la!
Troll the rotinue angry sceaming, Fa la la la la la la la!

See the blazing mess before us, Fa la la la la la la la!
Smash the cups and dance like a monkey, Fa la la la la la la la!
Follow me in being psycho, Fa la la la la la la la!
Leave a trail of good destruction, Fa la la la la la la la!

Fast away the civilians run off, Fa la la la la la la la!
Hail the sane, you running people, Fa la la la la la la la!
Sing we crazies all together! Fa la la la la la la la!
Heedless of the shouts and shrieking, Fa la la la la la la la!


Jolly Psycho Coffee Man
(Jolly Old Saint Nicholas)

Jolly psycho Coffee Man,
Please don't come this way!
Don't you make a single soul
Go and buy a sleigh
Christmas Eve is coming soon;
Now, you crazy freak
Burn all what you want to bring;
Or your shack shall cease to stand.

When the clock is striking twelve,
When we're fast asleep,
Down the chimney, clad in black,
With your poison you'll creep.
All the food is set in place
At your fingertips
They will all be caffinated,
Before dawn ever shows

Heero wants your head on a stick,
Wufei wants your liver,
Trowa wants you dead real quick,
And thrown into a river
Now I think I'll leave to you
This pathetic threat
Don't you dare spread your coffee
But you won't listen, I bet


Here Comes Duo
(Here Comes Santa Claus)


Here comes Duo! Here comes Duo!
All our joy down the drain!
Psycho and crazy, and very dangerous
Speeding like a train.
People screaming, shrieking, falling;
All is wrong, not right.
Hide your possesions and say your prayers,
'Cause Duo comes tonight!

Here comes Duo! Here comes Duo!
All our joy down the drain!
Psycho and crazy, and very dangerous
Speeding like a train.
Hear those psychos, all caffinates
What a horrific sight.
Hide in a room and cover up your head,
'Cause Duo comes tonight!


Quatre Got Run Over By A Reindeer
(Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer)

Quatre got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from Duo's shack Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as crazy,
But as for us, we saw and we believe.

He'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we all called him stupid to go.
He forgot to bring his trusty dart gun,
And stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found him Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were falsey hoof prints on his forehead,
And incriminatin' coffee stains on his back.

Quatre got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from Duo's shack Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as crazy,
But as for us, we saw and we believe.

Now they're all so proud of Trowa,
He blew up Duo's place with Zero
See him in there being clownface,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with Heero.

It's not Christmas without Quatre.
All the Winners dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up eat his food or send it back?

Quatre got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from Duo's shack Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as crazy,
But as for us, we saw and we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fat.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair on Quatre's favorite hat

They warned all their friends and neighbors.
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never even walk close,
To a freak who lives on the coffee stacked up on his shelves

Quatre got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from Duo's shack Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as crazy,
But as for us, we saw and we believe.


The Coffee Man Is Coming To Town
(Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)

You better watch out, you better say goodbye,
You better not doubt me and I'm telling you why:
The Coffee Man is coming to town.
He's making a list, and checking it twice;
Gonna buy coffee, some raisins and mice
The Coffee Man is coming to town.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you you psycho or sane,
So be act for crazy for everyone's sake!
You better watch out, you better say goodbye,
You better not doubt me and I'm telling you why:
The Coffee Man is coming to town.


Down By The Alley
(Up On The Housetop)

Down by the alley
Wufei screams,
Being chased by psychotic peeps
Down past the gift shop
with lots of toys,
Runnin' from the little ones
Girls and boys.
Go, Go, Go!
Who wouldn't run!
Go, Go, Go!
Who wouldn't run!
Down by the alley
click, click, click,
Your tranq gun is wasted
Try giving them a kick.

First comes the laughing
Then come the screams,
Oh, dear Duo's
Coffee crazy scheme
To cause lots of chaos
Destruction and stuff
That's his goal, yes
And it's gonna be rough
Go, Go, Go!
Who wouldn't run!
Go, Go, Go!
Who wouldn't run!
Down by the alley
click, click, click,
Your tranq gun is wasted
Try giving them a kick.


Run For Your Life
(Feliz Navidad)

Oh, run for your life!
Oh, run for your life!
Oh, run for your life!
Your life, your sanity, oh bitter strife!

I wanna warn you of the Evil Coffee
I wanna warn you of the Evil Coffee
I wanna warn you of the Evil Coffee
But sorry, I'm too busy running, we must part


Hark! The Braidboy's Footsteps Sound
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

Hark! The braidboy's footsteps sound
Smiles twist into frowns
Peace on earth is now a dream
How to escape remains unseen
Joy no longer fills the air
Only fear and dispair
With the arrival of the coffee
Everyone runs for the exit
Hark! The braidboy is now here
Another holiday passed in fear


Silent Night
(Silent Night)

Silent night, holiday night;
All is calm, all is bright,
Don't drink anything, anything at all
A single drop can cause your fall
Sleep with one eye open, watching for the coffee freak

Silent night, holiday night;
Quatre quakes at the sight,
Drunken guests dance on the floor
Drank some coffee, now drinkin' some more
Another million in damage again, another million in damage

Silent night, holiday night;
God of Death, hidden from light;
Laughing hysterically, sanity lost
All remorse is painted and false
The party's over, and everyone gone. But the next holiday ensures more


Away In The Shack
(Away In The Manger)

Away in his shack, piled high with his junk,
The devious Duo plans his plans drunk.
The stars in the bright sky looked down where he sat,
The braidboy Duo grinning like a cat

The alarm of the colony sounds, everyone's awake
Duo's hiding somewhere, video tapes he makes.
Controlled by his coffee, Duo does harm
Why don't we move and go live on a farm


We Wish You A Merry Christmas
(We Wish You A Merry Christmas)

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
And a Happy New Year!

We bid you luck in escaping,
We bid you luck in escaping,
We bid you luck in escaping,
From Duo's coffee craze

Good tidings to you, and all of your kin,
Good health and sanity, and a Happy New Year!











Kiriska: Good night; and insanity to all. ^_^