Nobody Knows
Part 3~Love's a Hard Game to Play
I had every intention of continuing after the last part of this because I really wanted to use this song for the last part of this. My dad would always listen to Stevie Nicks when I was little whenever we were in the car, and I'd always hope that I'd get to listen to the whole song of "Love's a Hard Game to Play" before we got to wherever we were going. I forgot the name of the song and could only remember the first two lines of it, but I really wanted to download it a few weeks ago, so I randomly picked a Stevie Nicks song and it happened to be the right one…so I decided that I had to use it. Not that you care or anything, but it really freaked me out that it was the right song. Oh, and to the person who asked, Matthew Perry has size 14 feet…I said something about big feet in one of my fics so like five people told me that he had size 14 feet and I almost died laughing because me and my best friend have had an inside joke about size 14 shoes since eighth grade. So I think those are pretty big feet…But neways, here we go. And I obviously don't own the song.
"Chandler, wait," Monica repeated, running to catch up.
Chandler sighed, not sure he could handle this. She was the one who left. Had she just thought that she would be able to come back to him whenever she felt like it? "Monica…"
"Please don't leave," Monica pleaded, the look in her eyes killing him, making him want to take her in his arms and tell her that the last thing he would ever want to do would be to leave her. But she'd still hurt him. She needed to realize that, that even if he'd had his doubts and fears, too, she was still the one who had left.
"Why, does something give you the monopoly over leaving?" he finally said bitterly.
"Chandler-"
"I was stupid to come here when you told me not to, I don't know why I did," he turned back around, starting to walk away.
Wake up my sweet child
There's something I've got to say to you tonight
It's time you took a look at me
Cause there's so much more to me
Than meets the eye
"I want to let you go and I want to make you stay and I want to go after you, but I don't want to hurt you again," Monica said quietly, barely audible over the still falling rain.
Chandler once again stopped. She knew that she'd hurt him when she left. But he wasn't sure what that should make him feel…happy that she wasn't cold-hearted and emotionless…or devastated because she'd knowingly broke his heart. "What do you really want so bad that you had to leave to find it?"
Chandler watched as Monica fought with herself, watched as she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "You're all I've thought about for the past six months," she started, "I thought that if I got away from everything, I could figure out what it was that I really wanted," she paused, and Chandler looked down, afraid that she'd found what it was and it wasn't him. "But as it turns out…I want you."
Well, there's more to love than makin' time
The harder you look the more you'll find
It's never easy no matter what they say
Chandler didn't respond. He didn't know what to think, much less what to say to her.
"Um, do you, uh, do you want to come back in for awhile? Dry off…warm up?" Monica finally asked hesitantly.
Chandler finally looked up, giving in and following her back to her door. Monica opened the door, letting him go in first, following behind him. Chandler turned to face her as she slowly closed the door, their eyes locking immediately. Monica looked at him expectantly, as if expecting him to yell more. Chandler finally took a deep breath, breaking the silence. "Your hair's short."
Monica looked at him for a second before laughing, "What?"
"Your hair's short…It's been long for years," he repeated and Monica took a step toward him, glad that he'd at least lightened the mood a little.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Um, do you want something to change into? You're soaked."
"Do you have anything that I could wear?"
"Um, actually, I have a couple of your things," Monica looked down, slightly embarrassed.
Chandler laughed, "You stole my clothes?"
"Not stole, borrowed," she corrected as she started toward her room, but as she walked past, Chandler grabbed her by the arm.
"It's not just gonna be this easy, you know," he looked her in the eyes.
"I know."
Love's a hard game to play
The heart's the price you pay
Love's a hard game to play
No matter what they say
Win or lose, no matter what they say
Love's a hard game to play
Monica stared back into his eyes until he finally gave in, doing what he'd wanted to do since the second he'd seen her again. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer as he kissed her, never wanting to stop. He let himself get lost in the kiss, but finally snapped back to reality, pulling away.
"I'm sorry, I just, I-I don't know if I can trust you again," he paused. "You left me. You left me and let me believe that it was all because of something I did."
"I'm sorry," Monica whispered, once again afraid that he was going to leave.
"Sorry? Does that make it better?" he looked at her, "You broke my heart, Monica. When you walked out, you took my heart with you."
"And when I walked out my heart stayed there with you," Monica responded, looking him in the eye.
"Well, you made that decision, not me," he said, not breaking eye contact. "And I wish I didn't still love you and that I could get over you, but for some reason I do and I can't."
Monica sighed, trying not to cry. "So what do you want? Do you want to leave? Fine, you're right, I left you, not the other way around," she paused. "What do you really want?"
Chandler ran his hand through his hair, sighing. "I want to forget all this shit for now because all I want to do right now is kiss you again, but I have a feeling that if I kissed you again it wouldn't just stop at that," he moved closer, placing his hands on her hips. Monica just looked back, not knowing what to say. Chandler brushed a few strands of still wet hair out of her face, slowly leaning in to kiss her again, but they were interrupted when the doorbell rang.
"Shit, Megan," Monica said, realizing who it probably was. "I'll be right back."
Chandler just nodded, sinking down onto her couch as he watched her walk away. He was so much more confused than he'd ever been, ever dreamed of being, in his entire life. Everything he'd been thinking for the last half a year was a lie. How much more was a lie…
"So," Monica came back in, speaking softly, scared that since the moment had been broken that he was going to change his mind. But instead, he stepped closer to her, brushing his hand across her cheek before kissing her.
The problem here is not my fear
The trouble is you can't convince yourself
For tonight, let's lose the past
Make love last
Put our worries up on the shelf
Chandler woke up the next morning, Monica still in his arms.
He was weak. Or at least when it came to Monica he was. She was his Achilles' heal; he lost it when it came to her. And for some reason, he found it impossible to regret anything that had happened with her. He wanted to regret what had just happened.
But he couldn't.
When it came to Monica, he couldn't.
Chandler slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Monica. Pulling on boxers and a t-shirt, he went out to the kitchen, realizing that he hadn't eaten in nearly 24 hours.
"And you must be Chandler," Chandler jumped, not expecting anybody to say anything. "I'm Anna," the woman sitting at the table explained, and off his look added, "I live here."
"Oh," Chandler said, realizing that she must be Monica's roommate. "Hi, and, yes, I'm Chandler, and how the hell did you know that?"
"Monica talks about you all the time," she smiled. "Coffee?" he nodded. "I'll get it for you."
"Thanks," he sat down as she went to go get him some coffee.
"Hey," Chandler looked up to see Monica standing in the doorway. "I was afraid that you left," she sat down in the chair next to his.
"Sorry," he smiled in apology, "I just haven't eaten in about 24 hours and my stomach demanded food."
"It's okay. Do you want me to make you something?"
"You don't have to."
Monica looked at him, "It's me. I want to."
"If you insist," he smiled, watching as she retreated to the kitchen.
"Here you go," Anna handed him a cup of coffee. "I actually expected you to show up sooner."
"What?"
"What?" she repeated, looking at him. "Well, I'll just leave you two alone."
"You don't have to," he took a drink.
"Well, I was just going to go take a shower anyway," she smiled before heading down the hallway. Chandler smiled in return, reaching for the newspaper at the other end of the table after she walked away.
"Where'd Anna go?" Monica asked, bringing in two plates with omelets on them.
"To take a shower," Chandler took one of the plates from her, watching as she sat down and started to eat. "It's not just going to be this easy, you know."
"Um, actually this is working for me," she motioned to the food before taking another bite.
"Not that, us," he looked at her, "You and me. This is the easy part; we've been here before. And we've been through a lot of shit, but, Mon, you ran. It got hard and you ran. And I want to trust you, to make this work…but I need you to swear that if we give 'us' another chance that you're not going to leave again," he paused, "because I know that I couldn't take it."
We've been through thick and thin, and back again
And we can endure love's sweet pain
Remember, starting the fire is easy
The hardest part is learning how to keep the flame
"C'mon, pick up," Chandler said into the phone, as if someone on the other end of the line would be able to hear him.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Joe."
"Chandler? Oh my god, where are you? Did you find Monica? Is everything okay?"
Chandler smiled, "I'm in Vancouver, everything's fine, and we're coming home."
"Cool," Joey paused, "Wait, did you say we're coming home?"
Chandler grinned, "Yeah, I said 'we.'"
Love's like walking a real fine line
You get too close and you'll go blind
Let go too long and it will all drift away
"Oh my god, Monica?" Rachel said as Monica and Chandler walked in, immediately running over to hug her. "I missed you so much!" she paused, and when she was sure that Chandler wasn't looking added quieter, "Don't leave him again, I don't think he could take it."
Monica just nodded before moving on to hug Phoebe, who gave her almost the same warning as Rachel had about Chandler.
"Don't ever do that to us again," Ross smiled at her as he hugged her.
"Don't worry, I won't," she smiled, looking over his shoulder at Joey. After she pulled back, she walked over to him. "Hey, Joe."
He just looked at her for a minute. "Don't hurt him again," was all he said, causing Monica's smile to disappear.
Monica shook her head, "I won't."
"Promise?"
"Promise," she nodded.
He broke out into a grin, "Then come here and hug me, I missed you!"
Monica laughed as she hugged him, "I missed you, too." After she pulling away, she looked around the room for Chandler, smiling as their eyes met.
Love's a hard game to play
The heart's the price you pay
Love's a hard game to play
No matter what they say
Win or lose, no matter what they say
Love's a hard game to play
Monica sighed, collapsing down onto the couch after everyone other than Chandler was gone. "So I guess nothing's changed."
Chandler sat down next to her. "I hope some things have changed," he said in a more serious tone. Monica smiled before kissing him. Chandler pulled back, "You know you're not just all of a sudden completely forgiven."
"Yeah, I know."
"And I can't trust you…not yet anyway."
"I know."
Chandler took a deep breath, "I do love you, though."
"I know that, too," Monica smiled, "And I love you, too. And I swear that I won't leave you again."
Chandler hated that the word 'again' had to be added to the end of that. She'd once told him that she would never leave him. "Swear to God?"
"Swear to God," she smiled at him before kissing him, "You're stuck with me, Bing."
"And that's a bad thing?" Chandler asked, and Monica just laughed before kissing him again.
"Well, maybe not all bad," she grinned.
Just when I feel like I'm losin' you
I hear them voices call
They say it's better to have lost at love
Than never to have loved at all
Lose or win, stand or fall
Well, there's more to love than makin' time
The harder you look, the more you'll find
It's never easy, no matter what they say