Promises 6
*****
Remember as you read this that I'm just developing the story right now. It will get better! I have to cover everything first though…I'm just that way :o)
*****
The explosion hurtled Rylee and Bosco down the steps, and slammed them into the concrete sidewalk. Sully and Doc were the first to reach them. Rylee had started to slowly push herself off the ground when Doc crouched down beside her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stay put. Let me check you out."
O'Neill glanced at the paramedic as she got to her feet. "In case you haven't noticed the building behind us is on fire. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not stay here."
Doc nodded. "Ok, you're right, but why don't you come with me over to the bus, and we'll make sure you're alright." He reached for her elbow to assist her to the ambulance. To his trained eye she looked a little shaky.
Rylee pulled away from him. "Thanks, really. But I'm fine." She began coughing violently.
"Yeah, you sound fine," he chided sarcastically. "And incase you hadn't noticed," he pointed at her. "You're bleeding. Now come on." He grabbed her by the sleeve and walked her toward the ambulance.
"Hey Doc. Can you come here a sec?" called Sully, who was standing beside Bosco.
"Yeah. Carlos! Take Officer…" Doc looked for her name badge.
"O'Neill," she said before she started coughing again.
"Take Officer O'Neill, patch her up, and check for smoke inhalation."
Doc approached Sully and Bosco. "What's up Sully?"
Sullivan pointed at Bosco who was still sitting on the pavement. "He's pretty shook up, and having a little trouble catching his breath. He's got that look on his face."
Doc raised his eyebrows. "Look? What look?"
"It's the far off deer in headlights look," Sully said quietly as he looked down at Boscorelli. "The same look he had on his face when he had his last panic attack."
Doc looked at Bosco then back to Sully. "You think he had another one?" He asked in a whisper.
"I can hear you," Bosco said in an angry tone.
"All right Bosco. You wanna tell me what's going on then?" asked Doc as he got down to Bosco's level.
"Hard to breath. I sucked in a lot of smoke," Bosco started to cough, and was gasping for breath.
Sully crouched down next to Bosco. He noticed the sweat on Bosco's face. Sure he had just come out of a fire, but this was a clear sheet of perspiration. He also noticed his pale features, but the thing that really concerned Sully was the look on Bosco's face. It was the same look he had seen when Bosco had a panic attack that day in the squad car. "Bosco. Did you have another one?"
"N-no," Bosco was still trying to calm his breathing.
"The truth Bosco," Sully said sternly.
Bosco nodded his head weakly.
Doc stood up. "Hang tight Bos. I'll go get the gurney."
"No!" Bosco shouted. He swallowed hard. "I'm fine. I'm OK."
"Bosco you've been through—"
"Doc. I'm fine. Let's not draw anymore attention to this," he looked up at Doc. His eyes pleading with the senior paramedic. "Please, just help me up."
Sully looked at Doc who nodded his agreement. "We still need to get you checked out." Bosco nodded as Doc and Sully hauled him to his feet.
When he got to his feet Bosco rested his hands on his knees and tried to take a couple deep breaths. He coughed hard, and stood up. "God, I'm tired," he groaned softly.
"I bet." Doc led Bosco to the ambulance as Sully went back to directing traffic.
*****
Rylee sat in the ambulance holding an oxygen mask to her face as Carlos put butterfly strips over the cut above her eye. "Looks like you're going to need a few stitches, and you more than likely have a concussion. Plus you're gonna have a good shiner. We'll transport you to Mercy as soon as we're done here," Carlos started to get out of the bus. "Oh, and make sure you keep that mask on." Rylee nodded.
Just then Doc and Bosco came around the ambulance. "OK Bosco. Climb in." He did as instructed.
Rylee took in her partner's appearance, and removed her oxygen mask. "You alright Bos?"
Bosco nodded as he sat down. Doc followed him, and proceeded to examine him. "Ok Bosco," Doc handed him an oxygen mask. "You definitely have smoke inhalation. Take nice deep breaths. We're going to take you both to Mercy." Doc turned to leave.
"I'm not going to Mercy," said Bosco in a determined voice.
"Yes, you are. Now put that mask on."
Bosco leaned his head back against the wall of the bus, and closed his eyes. Rylee watched him closely as she sat there. "Bos, you OK?" she asked.
He took off his oxygen mask. "Jus' tired," he put the mask back on. It felt so good to breathe in clean oxygen. He was starting to relax now, but he sure was tired.
As Doc and Carlos finished loading the equipment in the bus firefighter Jimmy Doherty approached. "How stupid can you be?! You two should have waited for us."
Rylee glared at him. "There's wasn't time," she coughed. "What took you guys so long anyway?" She continued to cough.
"Put your mask back on," instructed Carlos.
"We were dispatched from another call." Jimmy looked at Rylee, and it dawned at him that he had never seen her before. "Who are you anyway?"
"I could ask you the same thing." O'Neill and Doherty just stared at each other.
Bosco looked at them and took off his mask. He pointed, "Jimmy, Doc, Carlos. Meet my new partner, Rylee O'Neill."
They all nodded at each other. "You guys should have waited for us," said Jimmy as he walked away.
"What's his problem?" asked Rylee.
"Jimmy's just being Jimmy," said Carlos. "Now keep that mask on." Carlos headed for the driver's seat.
Doc started to close the back doors. "I'm gonna ride up front. You two gonna be OK back here?"
Bosco looked at Doc. "Can I lay down?"
"Yeah, sure. You feeling OK?"
"Really tired," Bosco replied as he laid down on the gurney he was sitting on. Doc closed the doors.
Rylee watched Bosco during the ride to Mercy. He had curled up on his side, and fallen asleep. As she watched him sleep she thought about her actions when they had arrived at the fire. She didn't even think; she had just run into the building. It was just her way. She always relied on her instincts. Tonight her instincts told her to run into that burning building to try and save those people.
She watched as Bosco rolled onto his back. Rylee leaned her head back. Not once did she think about her partner tonight before she acted. "Dammit!" she thought. "He had a panic attack, and it's my fault! He's my partner; I should have known he'd follow me into the building! Dammit! Why didn't I stop and think? What if he'd really been hurt?"
The ambulance came to a stop, and within seconds Doc was opening the back door. Rylee reached over and gently shook Bosco's shoulder. "Hey buddy. We're here."
Bosco sat up slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "Have a nice nap?" asked Doc with a grin. "Carlos will be back in a sec with wheelchairs for you two."
"I don't need a wheelchair," Rylee stated as she started to get out of the bus.
"Hold on. It's either a wheelchair or a stretcher. You decide."
*****
Rylee and Bosco were ushered into the same exam room. The entire time the doctor was examining Rylee her attention was on Bosco.
The doctor had him take off his shirt so he could listen to Bosco's lungs. Bosco just stared off into the distance. When the doctor was through he had Bosco lay down as he continued to breathe through the oxygen mask. It didn't take long and Bosco was asleep again.
When Rylee's doctor was finished O'Neill went to stand beside her sleeping partner. He looked so calm. So peaceful. Dr. Thomas came back into the room. "Hi. I'm Dr. Thomas." He extended his hand.
"Rylee O'Neill. Bosco's partner."
"What happened to Faith?"
"She's a sergeant now," Rylee looked down at Bosco. "Is he OK?"
"Yeah. He's fine, but I'm going to hook him up to a heart monitor just to make sure. Sully and Doc thought he might have---"
She nodded. "Yeah, he did."
"I just want to rule out anything cardiac."
"Why's he so tired all of a sudden?"
"When he has a panic attack not only is it difficult for him to breathe, but his heart races at an alarming rate. It wears him down. It's nothing to be concerned about. He'll be fine after he has time to rest."
"You want me to wake him?"
"No. Definitely not," he grinned. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be real thrilled if he knew I was hooking him up to the monitor. Officer O'Neill you should have a seat. I hear you took a pretty good knock to the head."
Rylee touched the bandage on her head. "Yeah."
Forty minutes later Bosco woke up. He looked around, and found Rylee by his side. "Ry? What's going on?" He looked at his chest. "Why am I hooked up to this?"
"Dr. Thomas just wanted to make sure your heart was OK."
"My heart? Why? I thought I was brought in for smoke inhalation."
"Well, you had a---"
"I know," he said softly.
"He just wanted to make sure you were all right."
Dr. Thomas entered the room. "How you feeling Bosco?"
"Fine, but tell me something. Are you gonna hook me up to this damn thing every time I come in here?!"
"Look, it was just a precaution. Besides you were gonna be here for a while anyway so we figured it wouldn't hurt."
"Will you unhook me now?"
"Yeah, then you two are free to go."
*****
It was 2 a.m. by the time Rylee and Bosco were ready to leave the station house and head home. They had been at the hospital for a couple hours, and had decided to finish up some paperwork at the precinct before calling it a night.
The two officers walked outside into the cool early morning air. "How's your head?"
"Pounding."
"You got a concussion?"
"Mild one. It could be worse. How you feeling?"
"Fine," he nodded quickly.
Rylee stopped and looked at him. "I'm sorry Bosco."
He met her eyes. "Sorry for what?"
"I didn't think out there tonight. I acted on instinct and ran into that fire without thinking how it would affect you," she shook her head in disgust. "You followed me into that building and it caused you to have an attack. What if something had gone wrong? It would have been my fault."
"Nothing went wrong. Everything turned out fine, and even if it hadn't it wouldn't have been your fault."
"Yes it would have! You followed me, and being in that building triggered it," she looked down at the ground. "I saw the look in your eyes. I saw the panic, the fear. And it scared me because I knew that it was my fault. I put you in that situation," she whispered.
"It started before I went in the building."
"What?"
"It started outside. I knew it was happening."
"And you still went inside? Why?"
"You're my partner. I follow you no matter what."
"But Bosco---"
"Look you needed your partner, so I was there. Maybe not completely," he chuckled, "but I was there. Besides it wasn't near as bad as the first one I had."
They continued toward their cars. "Ry."
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For getting me through it. Your voice interrupted the visions long enough to get me outta there. I owe you."
"Hey, that's what partners are for." She slapped him on the back. "Catch you tomorrow."
*****
Lieutenant Swersky was standing at the front of the room addressing the officers. "Boscorelli. O'Neill. You'll be riding desks today."
Their heads shot up and they quickly looked at each other. "What?" asked Bosco. "Why?" asked O'Neill.
"Hang back, and we'll discuss it further. Everyone else have a good tour."
Bosco and Rylee just sat looking at each other. They were dumbfounded. Bosco looked at Swersky and Faith. "We didn't do anything wrong this time."
"Yeah. I swear," added Rylee. "We didn't do anything."
Swersky put his hands up. "Don't worry. We know you didn't do anything *this time*. O'Neill come with me to my office. Boscorelli you stay here and talk to Sergeant Yokas." He headed for his office.
Rylee looked at Bosco. "What the hell is going on?"
"Wish I knew."
*****
O'Neill entered Swersky's office. He was sitting down at his desk. "What's going on boss?"
He pointed to a chair. "Have a seat."
She took a deep breath, and sat down.
"I hear you and Boscorelli rushed into a burning building and saved a couple lives. That true?"
"Y-yes sir."
"Why didn't you wait for FDNY?"
"There wasn't time. I just reacted Lieu."
"How 'bout Boscorelli?"
"I went in first. He followed me."
"How'd he do?"
"Sir?"
"How did he handle the situation?"
"He, uh, he did fine," she said nervously. She didn't know where he was going with this, and was afraid to say something wrong.
Swersky's eyes narrowed.
Rylee leaned forward, and rested her elbows on her knees. "What exactly do you want to know sir?"
"This was his first real test since he's been back on duty. Did he have a panic attack?"
"Yes sir," she said softly as she looked down at her hands. She looked back up at him. "But he got through it, and he performed his duties. Bosco did a great job. He saved that little girl."
Swersky nodded.
"Does this have anything to do with why we're riding desks today?"
"No. You're riding a desk because you suffered a concussion last night. Nice bruise by the way."
"Well, what about Bosco?"
"Ask him. Check in with Kowalski at the desk for your assignment."
"Yes sir."
*****
"What's this about Faith?" he asked from where he sat.
"I hear you and Rylee had a pretty exciting end to your shift last night. Capped off by a few hours in the ER." She replied as she sat down on the table in the front of the room.
"Yeah. Smoke inhalation. No big deal."
"Is that it?"
"Yeah."
"Anything you want to tell me? You can talk to me you know." She wore a determined look on her face.
"OK, so I had another one. No big thing. I got through it. I'm OK."
"You sure you're OK?" She walked over, and sat by him.
"Yeah Faith. Trust me," he looked at her. "Is this why I'm stuck at a desk today?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Then why?"
Faith stood back up, and walked back to the front of the room. "You're counselor called today."
Bosco gulped. "He did?"
"Yeah. Said you never showed up this morning."
"I was tired Faith. Last night took a lot out of me. It was after 3 a.m. when I got home. I needed to sleep."
"He also said you've missed your last four sessions."
He shrugged.
"Mandatory counseling Bosco. You don't go, you don't work."
"It's just a couple of appointments."
"Four Bosco! Now what's going on?"
Bosco looked at her then looked down at the floor. Faith came back over and sat by him.
"Talk to me Bos. Tell me what's going on."
Bosco looked at her again. He could see the concern in her eyes, but he felt dumb. How could he tell her this? Bosco stood up, and started walking around the room. He stopped. "I can't talk to him," he said quietly.
"Why not?"
Bosco crossed his arms, and leaned against the wall. He really didn't want to tell her. He felt dumb enough having to see a counselor, but this…this made him feel so weak. He looked at her. She could read his expression. "It's me Bosco. You don't have to be embarrassed."
"He makes me feel so small. He pushes me to talk about stuff I'm not ready to talk about," Bosco ran a hand over his face. "I can't…I can't," he stopped.
"You can't what?"
"Sometimes, sometimes the stuff he makes me talk about…it uh, it…Faith I can't."
Faith went over to Bosco, and put her hands on his shoulders. "Bosco you can tell me. It's OK."
He looked at her. Then looked at the floor. "Remember the night I got suspended? When I came to your apartment?"
She nodded.
"I cried."
"I know Bos, and that's OK," she said softly.
"But I knew you wouldn't think of me any differently. This guy, this guy…I don't know. It's just that sometimes I have so much bottled up inside," he looked into Faith's eyes. "I can't around him."
"Why didn't you say something before?"
"Come on Faith. I feel stupid enough as it is," he told her as he looked away from her, and shifted his weight nervously.
"Bosco there is no reason for you to feel stupid about this."
"But I do," he said in a small voice. "Faith, I know I need help. It's just hard."
Faith felt so bad for him. For him to admit that he needed help told her that he had already come a long way. She didn't want this to be a setback. She pulled him into a hug, and rubbed his back. He didn't pull away from her. It felt good to be in the arms of someone who cared about him. Hell, it had been along time since anyone had given him a hug. "How 'bout I find someone else for you to talk to?"
"OK. Do I still have to do desk duty?"
She pulled away from him, and smiled. "Yup. Nice try though."
*****
Remember as you read this that I'm just developing the story right now. It will get better! I have to cover everything first though…I'm just that way :o)
*****
The explosion hurtled Rylee and Bosco down the steps, and slammed them into the concrete sidewalk. Sully and Doc were the first to reach them. Rylee had started to slowly push herself off the ground when Doc crouched down beside her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stay put. Let me check you out."
O'Neill glanced at the paramedic as she got to her feet. "In case you haven't noticed the building behind us is on fire. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not stay here."
Doc nodded. "Ok, you're right, but why don't you come with me over to the bus, and we'll make sure you're alright." He reached for her elbow to assist her to the ambulance. To his trained eye she looked a little shaky.
Rylee pulled away from him. "Thanks, really. But I'm fine." She began coughing violently.
"Yeah, you sound fine," he chided sarcastically. "And incase you hadn't noticed," he pointed at her. "You're bleeding. Now come on." He grabbed her by the sleeve and walked her toward the ambulance.
"Hey Doc. Can you come here a sec?" called Sully, who was standing beside Bosco.
"Yeah. Carlos! Take Officer…" Doc looked for her name badge.
"O'Neill," she said before she started coughing again.
"Take Officer O'Neill, patch her up, and check for smoke inhalation."
Doc approached Sully and Bosco. "What's up Sully?"
Sullivan pointed at Bosco who was still sitting on the pavement. "He's pretty shook up, and having a little trouble catching his breath. He's got that look on his face."
Doc raised his eyebrows. "Look? What look?"
"It's the far off deer in headlights look," Sully said quietly as he looked down at Boscorelli. "The same look he had on his face when he had his last panic attack."
Doc looked at Bosco then back to Sully. "You think he had another one?" He asked in a whisper.
"I can hear you," Bosco said in an angry tone.
"All right Bosco. You wanna tell me what's going on then?" asked Doc as he got down to Bosco's level.
"Hard to breath. I sucked in a lot of smoke," Bosco started to cough, and was gasping for breath.
Sully crouched down next to Bosco. He noticed the sweat on Bosco's face. Sure he had just come out of a fire, but this was a clear sheet of perspiration. He also noticed his pale features, but the thing that really concerned Sully was the look on Bosco's face. It was the same look he had seen when Bosco had a panic attack that day in the squad car. "Bosco. Did you have another one?"
"N-no," Bosco was still trying to calm his breathing.
"The truth Bosco," Sully said sternly.
Bosco nodded his head weakly.
Doc stood up. "Hang tight Bos. I'll go get the gurney."
"No!" Bosco shouted. He swallowed hard. "I'm fine. I'm OK."
"Bosco you've been through—"
"Doc. I'm fine. Let's not draw anymore attention to this," he looked up at Doc. His eyes pleading with the senior paramedic. "Please, just help me up."
Sully looked at Doc who nodded his agreement. "We still need to get you checked out." Bosco nodded as Doc and Sully hauled him to his feet.
When he got to his feet Bosco rested his hands on his knees and tried to take a couple deep breaths. He coughed hard, and stood up. "God, I'm tired," he groaned softly.
"I bet." Doc led Bosco to the ambulance as Sully went back to directing traffic.
*****
Rylee sat in the ambulance holding an oxygen mask to her face as Carlos put butterfly strips over the cut above her eye. "Looks like you're going to need a few stitches, and you more than likely have a concussion. Plus you're gonna have a good shiner. We'll transport you to Mercy as soon as we're done here," Carlos started to get out of the bus. "Oh, and make sure you keep that mask on." Rylee nodded.
Just then Doc and Bosco came around the ambulance. "OK Bosco. Climb in." He did as instructed.
Rylee took in her partner's appearance, and removed her oxygen mask. "You alright Bos?"
Bosco nodded as he sat down. Doc followed him, and proceeded to examine him. "Ok Bosco," Doc handed him an oxygen mask. "You definitely have smoke inhalation. Take nice deep breaths. We're going to take you both to Mercy." Doc turned to leave.
"I'm not going to Mercy," said Bosco in a determined voice.
"Yes, you are. Now put that mask on."
Bosco leaned his head back against the wall of the bus, and closed his eyes. Rylee watched him closely as she sat there. "Bos, you OK?" she asked.
He took off his oxygen mask. "Jus' tired," he put the mask back on. It felt so good to breathe in clean oxygen. He was starting to relax now, but he sure was tired.
As Doc and Carlos finished loading the equipment in the bus firefighter Jimmy Doherty approached. "How stupid can you be?! You two should have waited for us."
Rylee glared at him. "There's wasn't time," she coughed. "What took you guys so long anyway?" She continued to cough.
"Put your mask back on," instructed Carlos.
"We were dispatched from another call." Jimmy looked at Rylee, and it dawned at him that he had never seen her before. "Who are you anyway?"
"I could ask you the same thing." O'Neill and Doherty just stared at each other.
Bosco looked at them and took off his mask. He pointed, "Jimmy, Doc, Carlos. Meet my new partner, Rylee O'Neill."
They all nodded at each other. "You guys should have waited for us," said Jimmy as he walked away.
"What's his problem?" asked Rylee.
"Jimmy's just being Jimmy," said Carlos. "Now keep that mask on." Carlos headed for the driver's seat.
Doc started to close the back doors. "I'm gonna ride up front. You two gonna be OK back here?"
Bosco looked at Doc. "Can I lay down?"
"Yeah, sure. You feeling OK?"
"Really tired," Bosco replied as he laid down on the gurney he was sitting on. Doc closed the doors.
Rylee watched Bosco during the ride to Mercy. He had curled up on his side, and fallen asleep. As she watched him sleep she thought about her actions when they had arrived at the fire. She didn't even think; she had just run into the building. It was just her way. She always relied on her instincts. Tonight her instincts told her to run into that burning building to try and save those people.
She watched as Bosco rolled onto his back. Rylee leaned her head back. Not once did she think about her partner tonight before she acted. "Dammit!" she thought. "He had a panic attack, and it's my fault! He's my partner; I should have known he'd follow me into the building! Dammit! Why didn't I stop and think? What if he'd really been hurt?"
The ambulance came to a stop, and within seconds Doc was opening the back door. Rylee reached over and gently shook Bosco's shoulder. "Hey buddy. We're here."
Bosco sat up slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "Have a nice nap?" asked Doc with a grin. "Carlos will be back in a sec with wheelchairs for you two."
"I don't need a wheelchair," Rylee stated as she started to get out of the bus.
"Hold on. It's either a wheelchair or a stretcher. You decide."
*****
Rylee and Bosco were ushered into the same exam room. The entire time the doctor was examining Rylee her attention was on Bosco.
The doctor had him take off his shirt so he could listen to Bosco's lungs. Bosco just stared off into the distance. When the doctor was through he had Bosco lay down as he continued to breathe through the oxygen mask. It didn't take long and Bosco was asleep again.
When Rylee's doctor was finished O'Neill went to stand beside her sleeping partner. He looked so calm. So peaceful. Dr. Thomas came back into the room. "Hi. I'm Dr. Thomas." He extended his hand.
"Rylee O'Neill. Bosco's partner."
"What happened to Faith?"
"She's a sergeant now," Rylee looked down at Bosco. "Is he OK?"
"Yeah. He's fine, but I'm going to hook him up to a heart monitor just to make sure. Sully and Doc thought he might have---"
She nodded. "Yeah, he did."
"I just want to rule out anything cardiac."
"Why's he so tired all of a sudden?"
"When he has a panic attack not only is it difficult for him to breathe, but his heart races at an alarming rate. It wears him down. It's nothing to be concerned about. He'll be fine after he has time to rest."
"You want me to wake him?"
"No. Definitely not," he grinned. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be real thrilled if he knew I was hooking him up to the monitor. Officer O'Neill you should have a seat. I hear you took a pretty good knock to the head."
Rylee touched the bandage on her head. "Yeah."
Forty minutes later Bosco woke up. He looked around, and found Rylee by his side. "Ry? What's going on?" He looked at his chest. "Why am I hooked up to this?"
"Dr. Thomas just wanted to make sure your heart was OK."
"My heart? Why? I thought I was brought in for smoke inhalation."
"Well, you had a---"
"I know," he said softly.
"He just wanted to make sure you were all right."
Dr. Thomas entered the room. "How you feeling Bosco?"
"Fine, but tell me something. Are you gonna hook me up to this damn thing every time I come in here?!"
"Look, it was just a precaution. Besides you were gonna be here for a while anyway so we figured it wouldn't hurt."
"Will you unhook me now?"
"Yeah, then you two are free to go."
*****
It was 2 a.m. by the time Rylee and Bosco were ready to leave the station house and head home. They had been at the hospital for a couple hours, and had decided to finish up some paperwork at the precinct before calling it a night.
The two officers walked outside into the cool early morning air. "How's your head?"
"Pounding."
"You got a concussion?"
"Mild one. It could be worse. How you feeling?"
"Fine," he nodded quickly.
Rylee stopped and looked at him. "I'm sorry Bosco."
He met her eyes. "Sorry for what?"
"I didn't think out there tonight. I acted on instinct and ran into that fire without thinking how it would affect you," she shook her head in disgust. "You followed me into that building and it caused you to have an attack. What if something had gone wrong? It would have been my fault."
"Nothing went wrong. Everything turned out fine, and even if it hadn't it wouldn't have been your fault."
"Yes it would have! You followed me, and being in that building triggered it," she looked down at the ground. "I saw the look in your eyes. I saw the panic, the fear. And it scared me because I knew that it was my fault. I put you in that situation," she whispered.
"It started before I went in the building."
"What?"
"It started outside. I knew it was happening."
"And you still went inside? Why?"
"You're my partner. I follow you no matter what."
"But Bosco---"
"Look you needed your partner, so I was there. Maybe not completely," he chuckled, "but I was there. Besides it wasn't near as bad as the first one I had."
They continued toward their cars. "Ry."
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For getting me through it. Your voice interrupted the visions long enough to get me outta there. I owe you."
"Hey, that's what partners are for." She slapped him on the back. "Catch you tomorrow."
*****
Lieutenant Swersky was standing at the front of the room addressing the officers. "Boscorelli. O'Neill. You'll be riding desks today."
Their heads shot up and they quickly looked at each other. "What?" asked Bosco. "Why?" asked O'Neill.
"Hang back, and we'll discuss it further. Everyone else have a good tour."
Bosco and Rylee just sat looking at each other. They were dumbfounded. Bosco looked at Swersky and Faith. "We didn't do anything wrong this time."
"Yeah. I swear," added Rylee. "We didn't do anything."
Swersky put his hands up. "Don't worry. We know you didn't do anything *this time*. O'Neill come with me to my office. Boscorelli you stay here and talk to Sergeant Yokas." He headed for his office.
Rylee looked at Bosco. "What the hell is going on?"
"Wish I knew."
*****
O'Neill entered Swersky's office. He was sitting down at his desk. "What's going on boss?"
He pointed to a chair. "Have a seat."
She took a deep breath, and sat down.
"I hear you and Boscorelli rushed into a burning building and saved a couple lives. That true?"
"Y-yes sir."
"Why didn't you wait for FDNY?"
"There wasn't time. I just reacted Lieu."
"How 'bout Boscorelli?"
"I went in first. He followed me."
"How'd he do?"
"Sir?"
"How did he handle the situation?"
"He, uh, he did fine," she said nervously. She didn't know where he was going with this, and was afraid to say something wrong.
Swersky's eyes narrowed.
Rylee leaned forward, and rested her elbows on her knees. "What exactly do you want to know sir?"
"This was his first real test since he's been back on duty. Did he have a panic attack?"
"Yes sir," she said softly as she looked down at her hands. She looked back up at him. "But he got through it, and he performed his duties. Bosco did a great job. He saved that little girl."
Swersky nodded.
"Does this have anything to do with why we're riding desks today?"
"No. You're riding a desk because you suffered a concussion last night. Nice bruise by the way."
"Well, what about Bosco?"
"Ask him. Check in with Kowalski at the desk for your assignment."
"Yes sir."
*****
"What's this about Faith?" he asked from where he sat.
"I hear you and Rylee had a pretty exciting end to your shift last night. Capped off by a few hours in the ER." She replied as she sat down on the table in the front of the room.
"Yeah. Smoke inhalation. No big deal."
"Is that it?"
"Yeah."
"Anything you want to tell me? You can talk to me you know." She wore a determined look on her face.
"OK, so I had another one. No big thing. I got through it. I'm OK."
"You sure you're OK?" She walked over, and sat by him.
"Yeah Faith. Trust me," he looked at her. "Is this why I'm stuck at a desk today?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Then why?"
Faith stood back up, and walked back to the front of the room. "You're counselor called today."
Bosco gulped. "He did?"
"Yeah. Said you never showed up this morning."
"I was tired Faith. Last night took a lot out of me. It was after 3 a.m. when I got home. I needed to sleep."
"He also said you've missed your last four sessions."
He shrugged.
"Mandatory counseling Bosco. You don't go, you don't work."
"It's just a couple of appointments."
"Four Bosco! Now what's going on?"
Bosco looked at her then looked down at the floor. Faith came back over and sat by him.
"Talk to me Bos. Tell me what's going on."
Bosco looked at her again. He could see the concern in her eyes, but he felt dumb. How could he tell her this? Bosco stood up, and started walking around the room. He stopped. "I can't talk to him," he said quietly.
"Why not?"
Bosco crossed his arms, and leaned against the wall. He really didn't want to tell her. He felt dumb enough having to see a counselor, but this…this made him feel so weak. He looked at her. She could read his expression. "It's me Bosco. You don't have to be embarrassed."
"He makes me feel so small. He pushes me to talk about stuff I'm not ready to talk about," Bosco ran a hand over his face. "I can't…I can't," he stopped.
"You can't what?"
"Sometimes, sometimes the stuff he makes me talk about…it uh, it…Faith I can't."
Faith went over to Bosco, and put her hands on his shoulders. "Bosco you can tell me. It's OK."
He looked at her. Then looked at the floor. "Remember the night I got suspended? When I came to your apartment?"
She nodded.
"I cried."
"I know Bos, and that's OK," she said softly.
"But I knew you wouldn't think of me any differently. This guy, this guy…I don't know. It's just that sometimes I have so much bottled up inside," he looked into Faith's eyes. "I can't around him."
"Why didn't you say something before?"
"Come on Faith. I feel stupid enough as it is," he told her as he looked away from her, and shifted his weight nervously.
"Bosco there is no reason for you to feel stupid about this."
"But I do," he said in a small voice. "Faith, I know I need help. It's just hard."
Faith felt so bad for him. For him to admit that he needed help told her that he had already come a long way. She didn't want this to be a setback. She pulled him into a hug, and rubbed his back. He didn't pull away from her. It felt good to be in the arms of someone who cared about him. Hell, it had been along time since anyone had given him a hug. "How 'bout I find someone else for you to talk to?"
"OK. Do I still have to do desk duty?"
She pulled away from him, and smiled. "Yup. Nice try though."