In Her Dreams
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
*****
Dawn sat quietly listening to her sister cry, stroking her hair gently. This all seemed too weird. It was only a few hours ago that Buffy had sat, stroking her hair, telling her everything was going to be okay. Now the tables had turned. Sure, she was still sick and weak, but Buffy needed her.
Dawn was startled a bit by the sound of Buffy mumbling something.
"I should have gone. It's my fault." Buffy whispered. Dawn gently lifted up her sister's head and looked into her pain filled eyes.
"Buffy, no." She said sternly.
"Dawn, he left. H-he promised he wouldn't, b-but he did. Just like everyone else."
"It is completely different this time Buffy. Spike is not like Angel, Parker, or Riley. He loves you so much. When I asked him if he was leaving, and I looked into his eyes, God I wanted to stake him."
Buffy looked up at her sister, stifling her sobs for a few seconds. Dawn saw a look of confusion crawl across Buffy's face.
"Oh, no, I-I didn't mean . . . that. I just, you know, to put him out of his misery. " Buffy nodded at Dawn's explanation, but surprisingly did not return to crying. She sat up and took in a deep breath.
"You're right." Buffy spoke up. "This is completely different. It's not like with dad, or Angel, Riley, or Parker. Spike, h-he . . . he was the only one who left . . . to die." Buffy finished speaking; her last few words seemed almost a whisper.
Dawn had no idea what to say, there were no words. She decided on the safest route, changing the subject.
"Look, why don't we go upstairs and get some sleep. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning." Dawn told her sister.
"I'm not too sure about the feeling better part, but I could use some sleep." Buffy agreed. They both slowly got up from the sofa and headed towards the stairs. Dawn walked Buffy to her room.
"Do you want me to stay." Dawn asked.
"Oh, no Dawnie. You shouldn't even be up. You need your rest too. You have to get better." She said, placing a hand on Dawn's cheek. "I'll be okay tonight." She tried to reassure Dawn, even though she herself knew that she wasn't going to be okay.
"Okay. Goodnight Buffy. I love you." Dawn told her leaving the room.
"That's what they all say." Buffy whispered before turning off her light and laying her head down on her pillow.
*****
Buffy opened her eyes slowly and looked at the clock 5:43. She groaned slightly before rolling over. She gasped a little as she saw a figure standing in the doorway. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't just seeing things.
"It's alright." He whispered, moving closer to her bed. "It is not your fault. There is no one to blame." He told her, his voice soothing.
Buffy felt the side of her bed sag as his body crept up beside hers. She finally found her voice and spoke up.
"S-spike?" She whispered.
"Shhhh luv. It's alright." He told her.
"Y-you were gone, a-and it was my fault. I should have stopped you. Maybe I should have shown you just how much I love you. Then maybe you wouldn't have left."
"I'm back now, luv. It's okay." He stroked her hair and a tear ran down her cheek.
"I know. You're the only one. The only one who ever came back." She kissed him and leaned into his body. She felt her back grow cold from being pressed up so tightly against him, but she didn't care. He was back, forever.
"I love you." They both whispered in unison, before falling asleep.
*****
Buffy's eyes opened faster than she had expected them too. She looked around her room. It was empty. There was no one there, no Spike. It was a dream. Tears streamed down her cheek as she remembered how he had slept so closely to her. It had seemed so real. She rolled over to the place on her bed that Spike had occupied. She lay there for a minute before realizing that it was cold. Freezing to be exact. Her back seemed cold also, almost as if she had slept on ice. She took a deep breath in and could have sworn that there was the slightest hint if Spike's cologne lingering on her pillow. Had it really been a dream? No, it had to have been. Spike was gone. He left.
His soft words from her dream came back to her. "It's not your fault. There is no one to blame."
It had all seemed so real. His words made her feel comforted. And she knew when he told her, she knew it wasn't her fault. She knew he had left for her, not because of her. It was weird. She felt relieved, content. She hadn't expected to feel like this for a long time. She thought things would all go to hell after Spike had left. But here she was, the next morning, feeling rather chipper.
She rolled back over and brushed her hair out of her face. Her clock read 11:57 a.m. She sighed and pushed herself up and out of bed. She decided to skip breakfast and instead headed straight for the shower. A warm shower was just what she needed.
*****
Buffy walked into the kitchen and was greeted by three smiling young women.
"Morning." She smiled as she entered the room. No one said anything back. "Well, aren't we a quiet bunch." Buffy said as she slid onto the same stool her and Spike had once shared.
"Are, uh, are you okay?" Tara was the first to speak up.
"I'm okay. A bit drained and a slight headache, but other than that . . . yeah, I'm fine." She told them. "But, isn't there one other person who should be answering that question also." She turned her head towards Dawn and smiled.
"Dawnie, are you okay?" Buffy asked her sister.
"Oh, yeah. I'm feeling a whole lot better. I actually got a full nights sleep for once." She filled everybody in.
"Well, I'm glad one of us did." Willow chimed in.
"You guys didn't get any sleep?" Buffy asked. "How come?"
Willow and Tara smiled at each other, Tara blushing slightly. "It's not important really." The two girls giggled.
"Ah." Buffy replied, turning her head and giving her sister a 'I think it is time for you to leave cause I have something to say that I don't think you need hear' look.
Dawn got the message. "I'll, uh, I'll go watch some TV." She told the other women who sat quietly in the room.
"Buffy, what's up?" Willow asked. "You had your 'I think it is time for you to leave cause I have something to say that I don't think you need hear' look goin' on."
"I, uh, I had a dream. I-it was weird." Buffy told them.
"Prophetic?" Tara asked.
"No. It was, um, it was about Spike." She saw a look of confusion and sympathy crawl across Tara and Willow's faces. "It was weird," she continued, "it was so real. I could feel everything. And everything he said . . . it was, unbelievable."
"Well, what, uh, what did he say?" Willow asked uneasily, not wanting to pry.
"He said it wasn't my fault, that he left. That there was no one to blame. He said it would all be okay. Then he told me he loved me."
Tara and Willow listened and watched as Buffy got a far off look in her eyes, glazed with growing tears.
"He fell asleep next to me, his body so close to mine, holding me so tightly. He was cold, but that is just how he is, y'know." She forced a laugh a bit. "But when I woke up . . . I don't know. My bed was cold and my back . . . it was freezing. But, I- I felt so content. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, and his words were still so fresh in my mind." She finished wiping a slight tear away from her cheek.
"Maybe it was really him." Tara offered as a suggestion.
"What do you mean?" Willow asked.
"Well, not him, b-but his spirit. E-everything he was thinking m-might have found it's way into y-your dreams. That's probably why you felt s-so content." Tara finished.
"Yeah, if it was his spirit then he was able to tell you exactly what he was feeling. Tell you that it was alright, it wasn't your fault, and you believe him cause, well, it was really him." Willow added, restating most of what Tara had said.
"But if that is true, why is it happening now? Why with him? Why not my dad, or Angel, or somebody else?" Buffy asked.
"Because none of that mattered." Willow told her. "You knew why they left, and part of you didn't need to be reassured. But with Spike, he loved you so much and you loved him. You needed to know why someone who's love for you was so obvious, you needed to know why they left. You needed to know that it wasn't you fault."
"And since the two of you have such an unbelievably strong physical, mental and emotional connection, your spirits are connected easily as well." Tara finished.
"So that really was Spike? Wow." She smiled a bit. She knew that if his spirit could visit her, than her spirit could visit him.
"I just can't get rid of him." She whispered to herself, laughing a bit. She was looking forward to seeing Spike again, even if it was only for a little while . . . and only in her dreams.
*****
I know this took a long time to get up, and I am sorry.
Thank you to everyone who waited patiently and thank you for all your wonderful reviews! Please, keep them coming!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
*****
Dawn sat quietly listening to her sister cry, stroking her hair gently. This all seemed too weird. It was only a few hours ago that Buffy had sat, stroking her hair, telling her everything was going to be okay. Now the tables had turned. Sure, she was still sick and weak, but Buffy needed her.
Dawn was startled a bit by the sound of Buffy mumbling something.
"I should have gone. It's my fault." Buffy whispered. Dawn gently lifted up her sister's head and looked into her pain filled eyes.
"Buffy, no." She said sternly.
"Dawn, he left. H-he promised he wouldn't, b-but he did. Just like everyone else."
"It is completely different this time Buffy. Spike is not like Angel, Parker, or Riley. He loves you so much. When I asked him if he was leaving, and I looked into his eyes, God I wanted to stake him."
Buffy looked up at her sister, stifling her sobs for a few seconds. Dawn saw a look of confusion crawl across Buffy's face.
"Oh, no, I-I didn't mean . . . that. I just, you know, to put him out of his misery. " Buffy nodded at Dawn's explanation, but surprisingly did not return to crying. She sat up and took in a deep breath.
"You're right." Buffy spoke up. "This is completely different. It's not like with dad, or Angel, Riley, or Parker. Spike, h-he . . . he was the only one who left . . . to die." Buffy finished speaking; her last few words seemed almost a whisper.
Dawn had no idea what to say, there were no words. She decided on the safest route, changing the subject.
"Look, why don't we go upstairs and get some sleep. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning." Dawn told her sister.
"I'm not too sure about the feeling better part, but I could use some sleep." Buffy agreed. They both slowly got up from the sofa and headed towards the stairs. Dawn walked Buffy to her room.
"Do you want me to stay." Dawn asked.
"Oh, no Dawnie. You shouldn't even be up. You need your rest too. You have to get better." She said, placing a hand on Dawn's cheek. "I'll be okay tonight." She tried to reassure Dawn, even though she herself knew that she wasn't going to be okay.
"Okay. Goodnight Buffy. I love you." Dawn told her leaving the room.
"That's what they all say." Buffy whispered before turning off her light and laying her head down on her pillow.
*****
Buffy opened her eyes slowly and looked at the clock 5:43. She groaned slightly before rolling over. She gasped a little as she saw a figure standing in the doorway. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't just seeing things.
"It's alright." He whispered, moving closer to her bed. "It is not your fault. There is no one to blame." He told her, his voice soothing.
Buffy felt the side of her bed sag as his body crept up beside hers. She finally found her voice and spoke up.
"S-spike?" She whispered.
"Shhhh luv. It's alright." He told her.
"Y-you were gone, a-and it was my fault. I should have stopped you. Maybe I should have shown you just how much I love you. Then maybe you wouldn't have left."
"I'm back now, luv. It's okay." He stroked her hair and a tear ran down her cheek.
"I know. You're the only one. The only one who ever came back." She kissed him and leaned into his body. She felt her back grow cold from being pressed up so tightly against him, but she didn't care. He was back, forever.
"I love you." They both whispered in unison, before falling asleep.
*****
Buffy's eyes opened faster than she had expected them too. She looked around her room. It was empty. There was no one there, no Spike. It was a dream. Tears streamed down her cheek as she remembered how he had slept so closely to her. It had seemed so real. She rolled over to the place on her bed that Spike had occupied. She lay there for a minute before realizing that it was cold. Freezing to be exact. Her back seemed cold also, almost as if she had slept on ice. She took a deep breath in and could have sworn that there was the slightest hint if Spike's cologne lingering on her pillow. Had it really been a dream? No, it had to have been. Spike was gone. He left.
His soft words from her dream came back to her. "It's not your fault. There is no one to blame."
It had all seemed so real. His words made her feel comforted. And she knew when he told her, she knew it wasn't her fault. She knew he had left for her, not because of her. It was weird. She felt relieved, content. She hadn't expected to feel like this for a long time. She thought things would all go to hell after Spike had left. But here she was, the next morning, feeling rather chipper.
She rolled back over and brushed her hair out of her face. Her clock read 11:57 a.m. She sighed and pushed herself up and out of bed. She decided to skip breakfast and instead headed straight for the shower. A warm shower was just what she needed.
*****
Buffy walked into the kitchen and was greeted by three smiling young women.
"Morning." She smiled as she entered the room. No one said anything back. "Well, aren't we a quiet bunch." Buffy said as she slid onto the same stool her and Spike had once shared.
"Are, uh, are you okay?" Tara was the first to speak up.
"I'm okay. A bit drained and a slight headache, but other than that . . . yeah, I'm fine." She told them. "But, isn't there one other person who should be answering that question also." She turned her head towards Dawn and smiled.
"Dawnie, are you okay?" Buffy asked her sister.
"Oh, yeah. I'm feeling a whole lot better. I actually got a full nights sleep for once." She filled everybody in.
"Well, I'm glad one of us did." Willow chimed in.
"You guys didn't get any sleep?" Buffy asked. "How come?"
Willow and Tara smiled at each other, Tara blushing slightly. "It's not important really." The two girls giggled.
"Ah." Buffy replied, turning her head and giving her sister a 'I think it is time for you to leave cause I have something to say that I don't think you need hear' look.
Dawn got the message. "I'll, uh, I'll go watch some TV." She told the other women who sat quietly in the room.
"Buffy, what's up?" Willow asked. "You had your 'I think it is time for you to leave cause I have something to say that I don't think you need hear' look goin' on."
"I, uh, I had a dream. I-it was weird." Buffy told them.
"Prophetic?" Tara asked.
"No. It was, um, it was about Spike." She saw a look of confusion and sympathy crawl across Tara and Willow's faces. "It was weird," she continued, "it was so real. I could feel everything. And everything he said . . . it was, unbelievable."
"Well, what, uh, what did he say?" Willow asked uneasily, not wanting to pry.
"He said it wasn't my fault, that he left. That there was no one to blame. He said it would all be okay. Then he told me he loved me."
Tara and Willow listened and watched as Buffy got a far off look in her eyes, glazed with growing tears.
"He fell asleep next to me, his body so close to mine, holding me so tightly. He was cold, but that is just how he is, y'know." She forced a laugh a bit. "But when I woke up . . . I don't know. My bed was cold and my back . . . it was freezing. But, I- I felt so content. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, and his words were still so fresh in my mind." She finished wiping a slight tear away from her cheek.
"Maybe it was really him." Tara offered as a suggestion.
"What do you mean?" Willow asked.
"Well, not him, b-but his spirit. E-everything he was thinking m-might have found it's way into y-your dreams. That's probably why you felt s-so content." Tara finished.
"Yeah, if it was his spirit then he was able to tell you exactly what he was feeling. Tell you that it was alright, it wasn't your fault, and you believe him cause, well, it was really him." Willow added, restating most of what Tara had said.
"But if that is true, why is it happening now? Why with him? Why not my dad, or Angel, or somebody else?" Buffy asked.
"Because none of that mattered." Willow told her. "You knew why they left, and part of you didn't need to be reassured. But with Spike, he loved you so much and you loved him. You needed to know why someone who's love for you was so obvious, you needed to know why they left. You needed to know that it wasn't you fault."
"And since the two of you have such an unbelievably strong physical, mental and emotional connection, your spirits are connected easily as well." Tara finished.
"So that really was Spike? Wow." She smiled a bit. She knew that if his spirit could visit her, than her spirit could visit him.
"I just can't get rid of him." She whispered to herself, laughing a bit. She was looking forward to seeing Spike again, even if it was only for a little while . . . and only in her dreams.
*****
I know this took a long time to get up, and I am sorry.
Thank you to everyone who waited patiently and thank you for all your wonderful reviews! Please, keep them coming!