You're still with me? Great! In this part, Hikaru learns a few things, most of which she wishes weren't true, when she and Hiko argue yet again over an oblivious Kenshin.

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She told Toshiro all about the brawl that evening, after Kenshin had once again gone to sleep in her lap. She put him to bed and walked with Toshiro in the garden, arm in arm, seeking his calm understanding to put her own mind at some ease.

Nor did he disappoint her. "Most men who take up the sword begin at a very early age," he told her. "The only surprising thing is that Kenshin is already good enough to impress Bunto. Hiko must be a good Master."

"But I don't want him to take up the sword," she said, and then abruptly laughed. "Listen to how petulant I sound. As if my wants mean anything."

"They will if you can convince Hiko to let us adopt the boy."

"You still want to do that?"

"Have you ever known me to change my mind, once a decision has been made?"

"No," she smiled.

"If he does, the boy doesn't need to be a potter, although that, of course, would be ideal. But whatever he makes of his life, it won't happen with a sword. You know how I feel about them."

She nodded. "I wish I felt more hope that Seijuro will let him go. I have none, not really."

"Still, you must try or you will never rest in your heart. Do your best, and if you fail, then it is because the sword is Kenshin's fate." She shuddered, and he put an arm around her and said, "Never forget, love, what he said to you about his reason for getting into that fight. He only wanted to help, and to help a stranger, someone who meant nothing to him. Neither of us can claim to be so noble."

"You can."

"You think the best of me. The boy has a good heart. No matter what happens, that won't change."

After a moment, she said, "So you think I was a silly woman today, don't you?"

"I would never think such a thing," he smiled.

"We'd better get back. Kenshin might be having a nightmare."

But when they came to their bedroom and she knelt over Kenshin, he was sleeping peacefully, sprawled out all over the bed, and he didn't wake up even when she folded his limbs enough to make room for herself and Toshiro, and they encircled him as they had the night before. He slept as he should, soundly, like a child, with a clear conscience.

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Their departure the next day was delayed because Hikaru didn't take goodbyes into account. Kenshin had made many new friends in the short time he'd been there, and he went to each one of them to bid them farewell. When he finally joined her, he was grinning ear to ear and ruffled from so many hugs. "Everyone is so nice here. They all say they want me to come back."

"They mean it. They like you."

He had just noticed the little cart beside her. "What is all that?"

"The things we bought for you in Kyoto."

"All of it?" She smiled and nodded, and he said ruefully, "Master will say you're spoiling me."

"Master will be made to see that you need more than he's willing to provide," she scowled, and he laughed. "Besides, a full quarter of it is taken up with that jug of sake for him. He'd better like it."

"He will. It's good."

"You've been drinking sake?"

"No. Master says I'm not worthy of that yet. But I've seen him drink sake with that label before, and he likes it. I'll pull the cart, Hikaru-san."

"No you won't. Not yet, anyway. Eiji will follow us and pull it as far as the bench. After that, you and I will pull it up the rest of the way together." This was the moment she'd dreaded. Once she turned away from the house, she would be taking him back to Seijuro.

After a moment, Kenshin said her name inquiringly. She tried a smile. "I was just thinking."

He slipped his hand into hers, staring up at her earnestly. "I don't want to leave either," he said. "But Master will miss me."

She was determined not to put him through the ordeal of seeing her cry. She said briskly, "He won't for a while yet. We'll have a picnic at the bench, in that little meadow where all the wildflowers bloom." Anything that would delay their separation. She recognized the desperation in herself, but all she could do was accept it and force herself to fulfill her promise to Seijuro to get Kenshin back by the afternoon.

Seijuro was already there when they arrived, and his brows climbed almost to his hairline when he saw the cart. After a brief greeting, he ordered Kenshin to put everything away, and while Kenshin pulled the cart toward the cottage, he turned a sardonic look at her and said, "I thought you promised not to spoil him."

"Buying him warm clothes and blankets for the winter is not spoiling him."

From where they were standing, they saw Kenshin reach into the cart, pull out a red and silver pinwheel, and hold it up for the breeze to spin it. Seijuro said, "Warm clothes, huh?"

She laughed. "All right, and a few other things. Blame me, not him."

"I am in no doubt about where to lay the blame. I hoped for better, but expected this, because I know you, and I know when you are listening to me and when you are only pretending to listen to me so that you can get what you want."

"He needs to be a child once in a while."

"I won't take any of it away from him, don't worry."

She smiled. "I know you won't. Seijuro… can we go inside and talk for a little? Away from Kenshin."

He frowned at her a moment, studying her face. Then he barked over his shoulder, "Kenshin! Did you practice while at Madame Kimiyama's?"

"Uh…"

"I didn't think so. When you finish putting all that away, start on the strength exercise I taught you last week, and alternate it with the bird-wing exercise. If you remember how to do it."

"Master! I've only been gone two days."

"And you have two days of work to make up. Two hundred of each."

"Yes, Master," Kenshin grumbled.

He turned back to Hikaru. "That will keep him busy long enough."

"Two hundred?!?"

"It's not that difficult. He's not a baby, Hikaru."

She shut up. She didn't want to irritate him.

He helped her make tea while Kenshin put away his new things in the house. When Kenshin was safely out of earshot again, she said, "You look tired, Seijuro."

"I am. I've done a lot of walking lately. But you had something to talk to me about, didn't you? Besides my less-than-satisfactory appearance."

"I wanted to ask you for something." When he lifted a brow, she said bluntly, "Would you think about allowing Toshiro and me to adopt Kenshin?"

"No."

"No? Just like that, no? Without even considering it?"

"I have considered it. I told you, I've done a lot of walking in the past two days. Therefore, I had a lot of time to think. It doesn't take a genius of my stature to reason out the inevitable result of allowing you full charge of Kenshin for two days. Knowing you as I do, I anticipated that particular question long ago. I'm not so familiar with Kimiyama, so I wasn't sure he would agree to it, but a little pondering gave me the answer to that, as well. You actually talked him into adopting Kenshin, rather than just making him an apprentice in the shop? I thought you might, but that was in a little doubt."

"It was his idea."

His lips curved. "No man in love with you is blessed with his own ideas when it comes to something you want."

"You are," she snapped.

"I have more strength of will than most men. Or perhaps the difference is that I'm more accustomed to thinking for myself."

"Why say no? It's what would be best for Kenshin."

"It is not. What would you make of him? A potter?"

"If he has the aptitude. If not, whatever he wanted to be."

"And if he wanted to be a swordsman?"

"He doesn't realize yet that he isn't becoming just a swordsman, but also a killer."

Seijuro frowned. "I would never keep the nature of the sword from my own apprentice. He knows that its only purpose is to kill men. He is young, and he hasn't taken a life yet, but he would have, the day I met him, if he'd had the strength. He is not working in ignorance here, or even in innocence."

"But he was desperate on that day. This way of life isn't right for him. He's gentle, sweet. He's not a murderer."

His expression darkened. "Is that what you think I am? Is that what you think I'm teaching him – just to murder?"

She felt her face grow hot. "I'm sorry. No, of course not. But you are teaching him to kill. Surely that's not a good life for him."

He set down his teacup. "You know, I haven't decided yet if you're just blind, or incredibly selfish, or both."

"Selfish?"

"You want Kenshin because you want him. You've adorned your desire with the excuse of it being what's best for him, but under that fine sentiment is simply a desire to possess him. I don't blame you," he added gently. "I understand. But I won't allow you to believe your truth is the only truth."

"How can learning to kill be better for him than what Toshiro and I can offer?"

"Hikaru, you are thinking only of Kenshin the child. I see Kenshin as both the child he is and the adult he will become. I want him to realize his true potential. Look out there. Look at him."

She looked through the open door, where Kenshin was doing some kind of intricate maneuver with a staff, over his shoulders and head, ending with the staff held directly out in front of him. Seijuro said, "I know you don't realize what you're seeing, so let me explain. I told you about the day I found him. I told you then that I'd never seen a boy with more courage and determination. He set himself a task that was practically impossible, and he kept at it until it was done. His strength of will rivals that of anyone I know, except my own. And his talent and ability to learn are incredible. If he were larger and heavier, as I was when I was his age, he would already have surpassed even me at this stage of his training." His eyes had been on Kenshin through this, but now came back to her. "You know, if I were ever going to give credence to your ideas about fate and destiny, the strongest evidence in all my experience would be that I found Kenshin as I did."

"You think it's his destiny to fight, just because he's good at it? He's good at cleaning house, too!"

"That's not the only reason. Don't forget, that day I returned to find him again, he'd buried the bandits and the slavers as well as his three friends. He has a pure heart, one that harbors no anger and gives ground to no hatred. Do you have any idea how rare that is? The Hiten Mitsurugi style demands a heart that cannot be corrupted. I had to learn that the hard way. Kenshin already knows it, even if he isn't yet aware of his own knowledge. Despite everything that's happened to him, there is nothing evil in him that I must drive out and confront. All I have to do is to nurture him and educate him on how the rest of the world will attempt to corrupt him, so that he has the mental and emotional weapons to fight it, just as he will have the sword arm to fight injustice."

"I'm not the only selfish one in this room. You want your very apt apprentice as much as I want a little boy."

"Yes, that's true," he conceded. "It's unlikely that I will ever find another apprentice like Kenshin. In fact, I very much doubt that I will ever need to find another. Even in this early stage of his training, I'm sure that he has all he needs to eventually master the succession technique. It will be easier for him when he's grown bigger…"

"He won't, though." When he frowned questioningly at her, she said, "Seijuro, you know swords. But I know children. I would only have to look at you to realize that the Hiten Mitsurugi style requires great strength and size, even if I hadn't watched you grow ever more strong through the years. But Kenshin is not going to catch up."

"With proper nutrition and the training, he may."

She shook her head. "It is already too late. He may grow strong – indeed, he already is – but he will never be tall. Nor will he ever be as massive as you are. It's simply not in him. I don't think he would ever have been a large man, but I suspect his years in slavery made things worse."

She hoped that would discourage Seijuro from wishing to keep him. She should have known better. He said, "Hm. Then I will have to find techniques to help him turn his size into a benefit rather than a handicap. It will take some study, since naturally I have no experience there, but finding a way to accomplish it won't be beyond my powers. My own Master said there was always something in an apprentice that you have to work around. I was too slow. Kenshin is too small. But the Hiten Mitsurugi can be adapted, and it shouldn't be too difficult for me to find ways to use Kenshin's size to his advantage." At her expression, he smiled faintly. "Not the answer you wanted, was it?"

"Why don't we ask Kenshin what he wants? Let him make the choice."

"No."

"Are you afraid he'd choose me, and a peaceful life?"

"No, Hikaru. If I believed him old enough to make the choice, I'd allow it. But I won't put that burden on 9-year-old shoulders. That would be cruel. You would be asking him to reject either the Master to whom he owes so much, or you, whom he loves. How can a child make that decision? That's why children have parents, and it's the parents' responsibility. I took responsibility for Kenshin when I took him as an apprentice, and I stand in for his parents now. My own Master made the choice for me when I was 15, between you and the Hiten Mitsurugi. At the time, I hated him for it, but time has made me see his wisdom."

That hurt. "You think he made the right choice for you, then?" she asked quietly.

"I'll never know the answer to that, Hikaru. I only know that having to make the choice myself would have been harmful to all of us. And to me most of all, as it would be now for Kenshin, because not only was I incapable of making a rational decision under the circumstances, but my heart would have been broken by having to choose to separate from one of you. My Master was hard, but he was also right."

"I didn't think so at the time. I thought he was cruel and selfish. I'm not so sure I've changed my mind about that." She wasn't being exactly truthful – she had understood, even then – but she was hurt and wanted to strike back.

As usual, his calm remained unruffled. "That's because you don't understand that the purpose of the Hiten Mitsurugi style is not to gain power or glory. If such were the case, I would have no argument with you. But its purpose is not personal. It is meant to save others in times of trouble and rescue them from suffering, a sword placed between the defenseless and those who would prey on them. And it has never been more needed than now, when the land is being ravaged by human wolves. My Master not only saw the suffering around him, he also knew that it would worsen as the years passed. When he was an apprentice, he told me, one man could make a difference. Now," he said bitterly, "one man can only pile pebbles against a flood. But better to do that, better to fight one small and insignificant battle at a time, than to give over the land completely to tyrants who would soak it in innocent blood."

"There are other ways to fight injustice."

"Those ways can be followed by men who have no aptitude for the sword, and on a different battleground. Your own husband is proof of that. But there are many evil men in this world, and almost every one of them carries a sword. A sword can only be stopped by another sword. So while the lawyers and philanthropists talk, and while the revolutionaries plot, I go out and save who I can. And I will teach Kenshin to do the same. You don't want him to kill, Hikaru, but, for every life he takes, he will save five, or fifty, or even five hundred, all of them more worthy to live than the scum he will slay."

I can't walk past someone who is in trouble, if I can help them. Whether Kenshin had been born with those principles, or he'd taken them from Seijuro, he believed them completely, and he would follow them into whatever hell Seijuro pointed him toward. Her heart ached. "Seijuro, I haven't known you all this time without understanding that much about the Hiten Mitsurugi. But you are a different man than Kenshin will ever be. Killing others, even evil men, will harm his soul."

"Killing harms every man's soul. Even mine. But Kenshin's spirit is strong, and the good that he does will mend the damage. Yes, killing is not as good for him, Kenshin, the person, as pottery would be. But he has an amazing gift which can work great things for the good of this country and the innocent people in it, and that gift should not be squandered. I don't want him to be unhappy. I'll do the best I can, in my training of him, to prevent it. But I won't doom countless others to pain, slavery and death for a woman's softness."

"So Kenshin is to be a sacrifice to the people of Japan."

"As am I."

She sat for a long time, silent, eyes downcast, unable to muster an argument against him, yet unable to accept his answer. The unknown masses had never meant anything to her. She loved those within her own sphere, as best she could. That Seijuro had given so much of himself to people who knew nothing of him and would soon forget him had always humbled her, but she'd never truly understood it. She also couldn't fight it. The principles were sound, and they were good. It was the reality she kept stumbling over, the reality of the boy she'd held.

Finally she surrendered. With a tiny gesture of her hands, she said, "I suppose, after this, you'll never let me keep him overnight again."

"You can have him the next time he starts up the nightmares," he growled irritably. When she looked up at him, surprised, he said, "An occasional visit can't harm him and may do him good. And I know I can trust you not to turn him against me. In that, you are a most exceptional woman."

"Sometimes I wish I weren't." She sighed. "You know I'll ask you this again."

"Don't. My answer won't change. One of my primary responsibilities as a Hiten Mitsurugi Master is to train an appropriate apprentice to take my place some day. It's both a debt of honor and a debt to my own Master. I would really prefer not to have this discussion with you again. I don't like hurting you."

"You're expecting me to abandon my hopes for Kenshin's future happiness to spare you pain?"

"Kenshin's future happiness is not and never was in your hands. I'm expecting you to assimilate that fact and stop sitting in my home, with that expression on your face, asking the impossible of me."

She stared down at her clenched fists in her lap. How much she wished, at that moment, that she was not the woman he believed her to be. She could never turn Kenshin against him – that sort of ingratitude was not in Kenshin's nature – but she could lure him away from Seijuro. The right words, the right promises, would do it, and he'd never have to know the pain of killing. However, if she did it, Seijuro would never forgive her. She would have Kenshin, but lose Seijuro.

The most terrible thing was that the decision, although difficult to face, was easy for her to make.

She went out, made sure to give Kenshin a long hug goodbye, to show him a cheerful face, and to promise him that he could visit again some time. But she found a way to refuse his company back down the path to the bench. Between now and then, she knew, her numb heart would awaken to what she'd done to it, and she didn't want Kenshin or anyone else near her when it happened.