Former Choices
Chapter Eight
Thanks: To everyone for waiting so long! Hey, please R&R, maybe I'll write faster that way, you never know!
Three days later Warrick came home from bringing Lindsey to school and saw Catherine sitting on the couch, the phone pressed to her ear and a thoughtful expression on her face. He threw a small wave in her direction and made his way into the kitchen to get a drink. The softness of her voice floated across the room and he didn't bother to listen to it until he heard,
"7:00 tonight at Brickman's Psychology Center? We'll be there." He swung around to look at her as she was hanging up the phone.
"'We'?" His question was directed straight at her, but she looked down at the ground as if she expected the answer to come from there.
Catherine nodded slightly. "You and I, yes."
Suspicion crawled up his neck and hit him full in the face. "Why are we going to Brickman's?" He suspected the worse.
"I signed us up for some couple's counseling."
"Without asking me first?" he asked, almost angrily, and drank down the glass of orange juice he was holding in one breath.
"I didn't think you'd mind," Catherine said slowly, eyeing him with only the slightest tinge of guilt. "I know they only hold them Wednesday evenings, and if I didn't call now we wouldn't get in for this week." Looking him directly in the eye she took a ragged breath. "We need this, Warrick. Just admit it."
He brought his left arm up to scratch the shoulder of his right and slowly sighed. "You should have asked me first. You can't just do stuff like this without asking me first, Cath."
"Warrick," she started, walking up closer to him, her eyes closed.
He shook his head. "I don't need some doctor telling me what's wrong with this marriage. We can fix this on our own Catherine. A stranger isn't going to help it go any faster."
Her face tensed up and she pressed two fingers against her forehead. "Warrick, I'm not going to let this marriage turn out like my last one."
He felt like he had just been shot. Even during their biggest fights, she had never even come close to comparing him to Eddie, unless it was to tell him how different he was from him. He had strived for the past three years to treat her like the queen that she was, the queen that Eddie had never seen, but it had become harder and harder.
He stared at her for about ten seconds before blinking and saying, "What?"
"Eddie used to say the same thing. 'We can fix this ourselves.'" She was breathing heavily, and she put a hand to her chest and collapsed on the chair behind her. "But he and I couldn't. And what if you and I can't, either? What if we stay like this for another three years, and then another three years, because you're too stubborn to get help from somebody else?"
He didn't say anything for a while, just watched her as she stared up at him from her place across the room from him. He took a ragged breath and said the words he had always hoped could fix everything. "I love you, Catherine-"
"It's not enough, Warrick. Not this time."
Catherine was driving Lindsey home from voice lessons a couple days later. Lindsey was playing with her hair, fluffing it up one side and leaving it flat on the other, and laughing at her reflection.
"Hey mom, you got any lip gloss?" Catherine pulled out the stick of Revlon from her pocket and handed it to her. "Thanks."
"So how's that new Celine Dion song going?" Catherine asked lightly, attempting at conversation. She had heard her daughter singing it at lessons when she came to pick her up and had thought she had sounded beautiful, but she had to remind herself that she was biased.
Lindsey shrugged. "It's nice, but it's awful high." She inspected her reflection in the her little compact mirror. "I like this colour of gloss, it's pretty."
Catherine looked over to check how much she had put on. It did look pretty, it was a nice pink that matched the rosiness of Lindsey's cheeks and her little top. She was wearing the jeans that Catherine had almost thrown out last week because they were so tight, but the two had made a compromise.
"I can keep the jeans if you can keep raiding my closet whenever you need something cool to wear," Lindsey had said, and the discussion had ended there. Warrick had reminded her that it wasn't exactly the most motherly choice, but Catherine had made a face and declared,
"I can give in sometimes, can't I?"
Lindsey broke into her thoughts with a direct question that seemed to come out of nowhere. "So you and Dad are going to marriage counseling tonight?"
Catherine's head shot back and she pursed her lips. "Uh, how did you find that out?"
"Mom," she said, beleaguered, and rolled her eyes. "I'm not deaf. I heard you guys fighting about it last night." She went to turn the radio down and stared at her mother's profile in the low light of the Mercedes. "I wanna know about this kind of stuff, like about your marriage and all that. You're my parents and I think I deserve to know."
Catherine sighed. "Warrick's not exactly your father, Linds." She turned the car left and kept her eyes on the road. "Just because Eddie moved away, doesn't mean he isn't your dad anymore."
Lindsey spun around and stared out the window. "He's not my father. Fathers don't do that kind of crap to their daughters."
"Watch your language." She said it automatically, without thinking, and caught her daughter's scowl out of the corner of her eye. "I know it's hard to see your dad move away and-"
"And forget my birthday. Twice. And not send me anything in the mail, not reply to my letters, my e-mails. What the f-..." She stopped herself. "...heck is his problem, anyway? I'm his daughter. He's supposed to love me enough to stop being a loser for once and pull his head out of his-"
"All right, that's enough," Catherine snapped, and rested her hand on Lindsey's comfortingly. "He might be acting like sort of a moron right now, but he's still your father, and you don't say things like that about your father, OK?" Lindsey nodded roughly, and Catherine caught the tears spilling down her cheeks. "Oh, baby."
"Can you blame me for liking Warrick better? He's nice, and sweet, and cool, not to mention pretty cute." Catherine snorted. "It's not gross for me to say that, mom, because he is."
"Oh, I quite agree," Catherine said, and looked at her daughter, waiting for her to say more.
"He always remembers my birthday and he's so sweet to you. Sometimes he kisses you for no reason, just because he wants to. Jamie's dad never does that to her mom, and Eddie never did that to you." Catherine winced when she heard her call her father by his first name, but said nothing. "And I know you guys are having problems right now but I also know you can like, sort it out, because you love each other and all that stuff and people who love each other are always looking for improvement, anyhow." She turned to her mother and forced a small little smile. "Right, mom?"
"Right," Catherine said shortly, keeping her voice happy. "You're totally right, sweety. You wanna get a doughnut or something?" Lindsey nodded. "So, you know Warrick and I are having problems, but you're OK with it?"
"You could fight less, but that's my own fault because I eavesdrop." Catherine wondered fleetingly if she had heard their fight last night, but didn't ask. "Wanna hear some advice?"
"Sure, hit me with it." She pulled into the doughnut shop and killed the engine of the car, looking Lindsey full in her beautiful face.
"I don't think you guys know each other well enough. Like cause...I was reading this book once, where this couple, they kept saying they had forgotten how to love each other or something...and then I heard you say once how you don't know how to fix this, so then I was thinking maybe the problem is you don't know each other well enough to know to know how to fix it, to know how to love each other when the times get tough, you know what I'm saying?"
Her daughter's speech was so incredibly true that it nearly knocked Catherine off of her feet. Such true, simple innocence, she thought to herself, and felt like crying.
"So maybe you should just get to know each other, because I've been noticing you don't spend an awful lot of time together, so maybe if you just did small things, then you could figure out how you react to stuff, and then know how it's triggered...am I making any sense?"
Catherine just nodded.
"So then you could avoid those small things that trigger the fights and you could just be happy instead of fighting." Lindsey took a deep breath and exhaled, drumming her fingers on the dashboard. "Anyways, I just read that in a book once. I've been actually reading up a lot on couples and stuff, because Rick asked me to go the banquet with him last week, and I don't really know what to tell him because Jamie told me he just wants to have sex with me, so-"
"What?!" Catherine's eyes bulged. "He wants to have what with you?!"
Thanks: To everyone for waiting so long! Hey, please R&R, maybe I'll write faster that way, you never know!
Three days later Warrick came home from bringing Lindsey to school and saw Catherine sitting on the couch, the phone pressed to her ear and a thoughtful expression on her face. He threw a small wave in her direction and made his way into the kitchen to get a drink. The softness of her voice floated across the room and he didn't bother to listen to it until he heard,
"7:00 tonight at Brickman's Psychology Center? We'll be there." He swung around to look at her as she was hanging up the phone.
"'We'?" His question was directed straight at her, but she looked down at the ground as if she expected the answer to come from there.
Catherine nodded slightly. "You and I, yes."
Suspicion crawled up his neck and hit him full in the face. "Why are we going to Brickman's?" He suspected the worse.
"I signed us up for some couple's counseling."
"Without asking me first?" he asked, almost angrily, and drank down the glass of orange juice he was holding in one breath.
"I didn't think you'd mind," Catherine said slowly, eyeing him with only the slightest tinge of guilt. "I know they only hold them Wednesday evenings, and if I didn't call now we wouldn't get in for this week." Looking him directly in the eye she took a ragged breath. "We need this, Warrick. Just admit it."
He brought his left arm up to scratch the shoulder of his right and slowly sighed. "You should have asked me first. You can't just do stuff like this without asking me first, Cath."
"Warrick," she started, walking up closer to him, her eyes closed.
He shook his head. "I don't need some doctor telling me what's wrong with this marriage. We can fix this on our own Catherine. A stranger isn't going to help it go any faster."
Her face tensed up and she pressed two fingers against her forehead. "Warrick, I'm not going to let this marriage turn out like my last one."
He felt like he had just been shot. Even during their biggest fights, she had never even come close to comparing him to Eddie, unless it was to tell him how different he was from him. He had strived for the past three years to treat her like the queen that she was, the queen that Eddie had never seen, but it had become harder and harder.
He stared at her for about ten seconds before blinking and saying, "What?"
"Eddie used to say the same thing. 'We can fix this ourselves.'" She was breathing heavily, and she put a hand to her chest and collapsed on the chair behind her. "But he and I couldn't. And what if you and I can't, either? What if we stay like this for another three years, and then another three years, because you're too stubborn to get help from somebody else?"
He didn't say anything for a while, just watched her as she stared up at him from her place across the room from him. He took a ragged breath and said the words he had always hoped could fix everything. "I love you, Catherine-"
"It's not enough, Warrick. Not this time."
Catherine was driving Lindsey home from voice lessons a couple days later. Lindsey was playing with her hair, fluffing it up one side and leaving it flat on the other, and laughing at her reflection.
"Hey mom, you got any lip gloss?" Catherine pulled out the stick of Revlon from her pocket and handed it to her. "Thanks."
"So how's that new Celine Dion song going?" Catherine asked lightly, attempting at conversation. She had heard her daughter singing it at lessons when she came to pick her up and had thought she had sounded beautiful, but she had to remind herself that she was biased.
Lindsey shrugged. "It's nice, but it's awful high." She inspected her reflection in the her little compact mirror. "I like this colour of gloss, it's pretty."
Catherine looked over to check how much she had put on. It did look pretty, it was a nice pink that matched the rosiness of Lindsey's cheeks and her little top. She was wearing the jeans that Catherine had almost thrown out last week because they were so tight, but the two had made a compromise.
"I can keep the jeans if you can keep raiding my closet whenever you need something cool to wear," Lindsey had said, and the discussion had ended there. Warrick had reminded her that it wasn't exactly the most motherly choice, but Catherine had made a face and declared,
"I can give in sometimes, can't I?"
Lindsey broke into her thoughts with a direct question that seemed to come out of nowhere. "So you and Dad are going to marriage counseling tonight?"
Catherine's head shot back and she pursed her lips. "Uh, how did you find that out?"
"Mom," she said, beleaguered, and rolled her eyes. "I'm not deaf. I heard you guys fighting about it last night." She went to turn the radio down and stared at her mother's profile in the low light of the Mercedes. "I wanna know about this kind of stuff, like about your marriage and all that. You're my parents and I think I deserve to know."
Catherine sighed. "Warrick's not exactly your father, Linds." She turned the car left and kept her eyes on the road. "Just because Eddie moved away, doesn't mean he isn't your dad anymore."
Lindsey spun around and stared out the window. "He's not my father. Fathers don't do that kind of crap to their daughters."
"Watch your language." She said it automatically, without thinking, and caught her daughter's scowl out of the corner of her eye. "I know it's hard to see your dad move away and-"
"And forget my birthday. Twice. And not send me anything in the mail, not reply to my letters, my e-mails. What the f-..." She stopped herself. "...heck is his problem, anyway? I'm his daughter. He's supposed to love me enough to stop being a loser for once and pull his head out of his-"
"All right, that's enough," Catherine snapped, and rested her hand on Lindsey's comfortingly. "He might be acting like sort of a moron right now, but he's still your father, and you don't say things like that about your father, OK?" Lindsey nodded roughly, and Catherine caught the tears spilling down her cheeks. "Oh, baby."
"Can you blame me for liking Warrick better? He's nice, and sweet, and cool, not to mention pretty cute." Catherine snorted. "It's not gross for me to say that, mom, because he is."
"Oh, I quite agree," Catherine said, and looked at her daughter, waiting for her to say more.
"He always remembers my birthday and he's so sweet to you. Sometimes he kisses you for no reason, just because he wants to. Jamie's dad never does that to her mom, and Eddie never did that to you." Catherine winced when she heard her call her father by his first name, but said nothing. "And I know you guys are having problems right now but I also know you can like, sort it out, because you love each other and all that stuff and people who love each other are always looking for improvement, anyhow." She turned to her mother and forced a small little smile. "Right, mom?"
"Right," Catherine said shortly, keeping her voice happy. "You're totally right, sweety. You wanna get a doughnut or something?" Lindsey nodded. "So, you know Warrick and I are having problems, but you're OK with it?"
"You could fight less, but that's my own fault because I eavesdrop." Catherine wondered fleetingly if she had heard their fight last night, but didn't ask. "Wanna hear some advice?"
"Sure, hit me with it." She pulled into the doughnut shop and killed the engine of the car, looking Lindsey full in her beautiful face.
"I don't think you guys know each other well enough. Like cause...I was reading this book once, where this couple, they kept saying they had forgotten how to love each other or something...and then I heard you say once how you don't know how to fix this, so then I was thinking maybe the problem is you don't know each other well enough to know to know how to fix it, to know how to love each other when the times get tough, you know what I'm saying?"
Her daughter's speech was so incredibly true that it nearly knocked Catherine off of her feet. Such true, simple innocence, she thought to herself, and felt like crying.
"So maybe you should just get to know each other, because I've been noticing you don't spend an awful lot of time together, so maybe if you just did small things, then you could figure out how you react to stuff, and then know how it's triggered...am I making any sense?"
Catherine just nodded.
"So then you could avoid those small things that trigger the fights and you could just be happy instead of fighting." Lindsey took a deep breath and exhaled, drumming her fingers on the dashboard. "Anyways, I just read that in a book once. I've been actually reading up a lot on couples and stuff, because Rick asked me to go the banquet with him last week, and I don't really know what to tell him because Jamie told me he just wants to have sex with me, so-"
"What?!" Catherine's eyes bulged. "He wants to have what with you?!"