TITLE : He's the only one
AUTHOR : Hollyva
EMAIL: Estelle@mic.fr
RATING : PG-13
PAIRING : James/sirius Harry/Draco
SUMMARY : Sirius has been alone for almost fifteen year . But he finally has a trial and a big surprise is in store for him
AUTHOR NOTES : Last chapter, I hope you enjoyed the story
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling
PRONGS' CHALLENGE :see chapter 1 for info on the challenge
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Two weeks . It's been two weeks since the quidditch cup . Two weeks since that dreadful incident
*** FLASHBACK ***
" Sirius " James is calling me, His face white .He's in oblivious pain
" James what's wrong ? " I ask.
No answer. I'm worried
" James ? are you okay ? " i insist
James shakes his head while whispering
" I love you "
And before I realize what he just said, he is falling on the ground .
And I don't know anymore, I just know that his heart, beats no more
I'm starting to panic . I don't know what to do. I don't know what he has and how to remedy . Next to me, Harry is crying in Draco's arms .
And I know I have to do something .
But what ? James needs to go to Hogwarts, but we can't apparate
there .
I need to think . Think about something .
It's not working, I can't do this . I need to find a solution and fast . I'm sure if the roles were inversed, James would know exactly what to do .
Harry is crying harder and it's not helping . Why is the world spinning ? why is everything moving ?
The mediwizards are coming . I hope they will take care of James . The world keeps spinning and before i know it, I faint .
*** END FLASHBACK ***
It's my fault . If I didn't faint, I could have been able to do something, to answer the questions the mediwizards asked
But I couldn't
I guess I just didn't realised .
But it's true . We don't know when James will wake up . Hell we don't even know if he will wake up .
He looks almost peaceful . I wonder if he is hurting . Pomfrey says he's not . I hope she's right . I can't bear the thought of James hurting. And I wonder
How am i going to make it ? How am I going to survive if he doesn't wake up ?
He's all my life , since we're kids .
When he was with Lily, it was bearable . At least, I still had my best friend .
But now I don't have anything .
And to know I had him for a few weeks . Perfect Happiness But it was taken away from me
My only chance of happiness
Somebody is talking to Pomfrey . I'm surprised when I see the one who were, a few seconds before talking to the witch .
The ones, actually
And it costs me a lot of self control to stay in my sit .
" Snape, how nice to see you ! I had a dream where one of your potion killed you . poison actually . But dreams don't always come true , do they ? " I tell him, my eyes flashing with anger
" Boys, boys, calm down now " The Headmaster, the second person who just came in tell us
But neither of us is paying attention . We are still glaring at each other .
" Severus is here to check the effect of the healing potion on James " Dumbledore explains . A few days ago, Snape made a potion that could have helped James, I didn't want him to get near James, but if it could save him .
But I'm not in the same mood
" Certainly not " I almost shout " Your potions did nothing but hurt James lately . You can't be that good at potions"
*** FLASHBACK ***
I'm sitting in a chair .
James has been in the hospital wing for three hours . Snape is next to Pomfrey . Trying to figure what he did wrong, making the potion to bring James back .
" I found it ! The mistake . It's really small . You see I didn't put enough of " he can't finish his sentence
I'm up and screaming
" SMALL ? James is in a coma because of your mistake and you're calling it small ? "
I don't remember the rest of the conversation . He must have replied something mean, after all, it's Snape .
But i don't remember
*** END FLASHBACK ***
" I won't let that greasy got next to james . he's sick enough " i say
That does it . He raises his fit to hit me but I'm faster, and hit him on his jaw .
" STOP NOW "
I've never seen Dumbledore that mad. But he's right, as always . We shouldn't be fighting
Snape is finally checking on James . My eyes never leave him . I don't trust him
Finally he turns to Dumbledore and says
" It's not working as fast as it should "
I look at him , angry like never before
" What ? what does that mean ? "
" It means that you brought Potter here too late " he says with a sneer
" How dare you ! How dare you say it's my fault ! "
I launch myself at Snape, ready to hit him again but Dumbledore tear us apart with his magic
I can't take this anymore, I don't want to see him .
" Get out ! " i shout
With a last glare, Snape leaves the room,
Dumbledore behind him .
I sigh and sit down next to James
" They left " I tell him
" I can't believe Snape blames me for what happened . Some things never change . My hate for him will never change as well as my love for you.
I remember when we used to play pranks on him . it was the good times . You, me, Remus and well
He was greasy Snape, top students at potions . Remus wasn't far behind him . I remember clearly Snape's face when Remus beat him at potions
It was memorable . Looks like Snape wasn't that good
If he was he wouldn't have made the mistake that cost you your life
No.
I refuse to think you're dead . You will wake up, soon, and kill me for worrying .
The healing coma Pomfrey put on you will save you . I believe in you James, I know you will make it
You're strong, you've always been strong .
You can't give up, James, not now . I will stay with you until you wake up
Think about the happy life we'll have .
We'll get married "
I can't take it anymore, tears are coming up to my eyes
" I was so happy to finally ask you to be my husband . It's all I've wanted since shcool
But life must be angry with me. She had to take you away from me
A small mistake in the potion , Snape says .
Small, indeed, but big enough to put you into a coma
But you will wake up, an everything will be okay again .
I know it "
I hear the door opening and look at the one standing by it . It's Draco . And suddently, i remember . Harry . I completly forgot about harry since the quidditch cup . He mustn't be feeling well .
I get up, ready to hear what Draco has to say
But he says nothing, as an incomfortable silence sets up . I'm the first to talk
" What do you want ? " It sounds harsher than I had planned but I'm too tired to think about it
" I just came to see how you were doing . Harry is getting worried . He didn't see you for the last two weeks "
Two weeks . Has it really been that long ?
That long since i shut myself to the world, staying at the same place , eating almost nothing .
" Look, I'm sure Harry is worried, but I'm fine . Harry has you . And if i don't stay here, James won't have anybody . " again with the harshness
" Yes, Harry has me . But it's not enough . For a few weeks he had the life of his dreams and suddently, it's all gone and he doesn't understand why . He's blaming himslef . You know how harry is . Everytime something comes wrong, he thinks it's his fault . " Draco explains
He is right, harry is like that . i can't believe I've been that selfish, not caring about Harry
" You've already lost James , don't lose Harry too " he says before leaving the hospital wing
And I'm once again alone with my thoughts
I look at the sleeping form next to me . He's not really dead. Pomfrey put him into a healing sleep . But she said he may never recover .
And Draco made me realise I can't afford to wait until he is awake .
I have to leave , but not before talking to James one last time
" James. Hey, it's me .
I don't know if you can hear me, I really need to talk to you .
Looks like our life isn't so perfect huh ?
I don't know what's worse . You never coming back or the knowledge I had you for two wonderful weeks, and that you've been taken away from me.
I really thought everything was going to be alright . I was free and you were here . We were a family
It couldn't be more perfect !
There's nothing I wouldn't do to wake up next to you one more morning, to make love to you one last time .
God if I could, i would stay next to you forever.
But I can't .
Harry needs me . He really does . I hadn't realized . i've been selfish. I didn't realize while I lost my love, he lost his father .
I could never pretend I'm a good father like you are . But I'll try to be good
Harry will be happy . I can promise you this .
I'm sure he will be the greatest wizard ever .
He will find a cure for lyncantropy or something .
Can you imagine . Harry finding a potion that could make Remus normal whereas Snape failed .
Or he will be the best quidditch player ever . I will buy him the best brooms and watch if the team is paying him enough
This way, he could stop working in his thirties and enjoy a quiet life with Draco
Those two are going to be together forever
They have this connection that so many people have .
I think it's wonderful harry found it .
You don't know what I learnt today ?
It was my fault you died . Snape didn't say it that way but it was very clear
But again, maybe it's my fault.
According to him, If I had thought of taking you to Hogwarts sooner, there wouldn't be so much damage
I believe in miracles, james
You loving me, is a miracle
You coming back is another one .
Then why can't you come back again ?
Life would be so much simpler.
I'm free, maybe too much . I don't know what I'm going to do with all that time
But I guess you can't come back .
If Pomfrey says so, then It must be true . But how i wish I could join you !
But then again, I can't, still because of Harry
I can't leave him on his own , you know that .
I imagine perfectly whar you would say if you knew I was thinking of ending my life ' Sirius, are you nuts ? Think about the ones who love you !'
There isn't much of them you know
Actually, there is only one : Harry .
Without you I'm lost , James .
But I have to find my way
Believe me James I don't want to.
But I have to .
I'm sorry love but I have to go
Don't worry, I'll visit you often, I promise . You'll never be alone .
Goodbye James
I love you "
I can't find the force to leave but I have to
I kiss James, my love, my only one, one last time, before leaving behind me, the best moments of my life
THE END
Well i'm glad this is over . This is getting to depressing . but I promess I'll write so james/sirius soon, happier this time .
Review please
Hollyva
