Disclaimer: NigHtEyeZ don't own Saiyuki. Damn it.
AN: There's really something I need to confess... I know Sanzo, Konzen and Goku are really OOC here (as Aspara reviewed). Please remember Konzen is already Goku's 'lover' so he treats Goku differently. Sanzo is truly jealous (so he's OOC too!) and Goku, well, yes Aspara, Goku is THAT dumb and dense enough to not notice the two men hitting on him. (*Snif* *snif* *Dabs eyes with hanky* Poor Goku... such an innocent creature)
~*~*~ Innocent Eighteen ~*~*~
Chapter three
(Inside the inn)
Goku sat motionlessly on the chair. His golden eyes stared blankly at nothing particular. (Imagine Natuku sitting on his throne)
The four men standing around him can't decide what to do about him. "Now what?" Gojyo asked while rubbing the back of his head uneasily.
"Ch', I guess I'll have to do it then." Sanzo muttered unwillingly. He took a step towards Goku but was immediately stopped by Konzen who was blocking his way.
"Don't sweat about it. Leave the job to me." Konzen sent a message with his violet eyes that says 'Touch him and you die.' Sanzo had a vein popping on his forehead.
"I said I'LL do it!"
"No, I will!!"
The battle heat begins as Hakkai tried to lighten things up.
Flashback
"What have you done to him?" Sanzo aimed his gun at the useless youkai who was lying in a pool of blood. It was a lowly youkai, but he had to admit the youkai was pretty good at attempting to murder the Sanzo- ikkou (plus Konzen).
"The boy is hypnotized." Even though he's almost died, the youkai still gave Sanzo a chilling grin. He had the power to hypnotize Goku and used the saru to battle against the Sanzo-ikkou. Now without the youkai's command, Goku was just an empty shell.
"Ch'. I can see that." Konzen cocked his head towards the place where Hakkai and Gojyo were looking after Goku. "You better tell us how to get Goku back."
The youkai's red eyes darted from Sanzo to Konzen, then to Hakkai and Gojyo. He grinned evilly. "Heh, you have to..."
"How's Goku doing?" Gojyo asked Hakkai who was holding the saru's wrist.
"He's going to be fine, Gojyo." Hakkai announced with a smile. "I hope Sanzo found a cure for Goku..."
BANG! BANG! The duo snapped their head back to see a visibly angry Sanzo finishing off the youkai.
"I think he already did." Gojyo sweat dropped.
End of Flashback
"Maa, maa. Let's settle this nicely." Hakkai's voice could hardly be heard with Konzen and Sanzo shouting loudly at each other.
"Don't think I don't know what you're thinking of, you pervert monk!"
"Who are you calling a pervert?? If somebody has to wake Goku up by kissing him, that person should be me!! I'm his guardian!! Who do you think you are???"
"WHAT?!? I'm his lover, for god's sake! I won't let you kiss Goku!!"
"Ano..." Hakkai's smile was putted on by force. "You don't have to argue on who's going to 'wake' Goku up." He finally got the attention of the two sexy blond.
"What are you talking about, Hakkai?" Sanzo asked with a frown. Konzen could kiss Goku...over his dead body that is. The brown haired man pointed behind them. They turned and saw...
Gojyo was kissing Goku on the lips. Both Konzen and Sanzo stayed still like statue as they watched the ero kappa polluting the innocent saru.
After a few silenced moments, Gojyo lifted his head up and licked his lips. "I didn't know saru tasted so good."
*WHACK* *SMACK*
"ITAI!!!!!" Gojyo grabbed his head. A paper fan and a fist had landed at the same time. "What was that for?!!" He looked up in time to see Sanzo pulling out his gun, Gojyo quickly fled out of the room with Sanzo and Konzen following close behind.
"Eh?" Goku was suddenly alive again. "Hakkai?" The man smiled at him.
"Glad that you're awake, Goku." He said.
"Ano, Hakkai?" Goku looked around as though finding something. Hakkai waited for his question. "Is there any food? I'm hungry."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
He made sure the room was empty. Gojyo was in the shower, Konzen anywhere that's far away from Goku and him. Now all he has to do was wait.
Sanzo can't keep his eyes away from the door. Any moment now, Goku was going to come in through that door. He was ready, prepared and all to tell Goku... what? [What the heck am I going to tell the saru??] It was too late to chicken out now.
After Konzen's appearance, Sanzo had been worrying. Yes, the corrupted monk, worrying. He can't remember why he had the sudden idea of talking to Goku. Okay, he's lying. Deep inside, Sanzo knows what he was worrying about. He was worried that Goku will leave him.
Funny, how that never came into his mind, Goku was always a loyal pet. The chances of Goku leaving his side were like the ocean getting dried up. But it was different now. It is clear that Goku is attracted to Konzen no matter how much Sanzo denied it.
Sanzo closed his violet eyes and tries to imagine a life without Goku in it. He smiled. A pathetic smile; because he could see nothing in the image except darkness. He opened his eyes again. When did the saru melted his heart?
Without warning, the door creaked open. "Goku..." Sanzo's heart hammered against his chest painfully due to the excitement. It was Gojyo.
"Oh?" Little beads of water dripped down from his wet strands of red hair. Gojyo had a towel around his neck and he was half naked, only wearing his jeans. "Waiting for the saru?" He lifted an eyebrow and sat on the bed, opposite Sanzo.
"Ch'. It's none of your business. Get your ass out of here." Sanzo became hot-tempered; as the person who came in wasn't the person he was waiting for.
Ignoring him, Gojyo resumed to dry his hair. "You know, Sanzo-sama, anything that concerns Goku is my business too." He threw the towel on the floor and looked serious all of a sudden. He was tired of hiding the fact. Tired of seeing the relationship between Sanzo and Goku.
Sanzo folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned back lazily. "As in?" Even with his relaxed appearance, there was an uneasiness growing steadily inside Sanzo. This isn't the normal Gojyo.
"You and Konzen aren't the only ones in love with that baka saru." Amazingly, Gojyo blushed. There, he said it. Sha Gojyo finally admitted his feelings for Goku.
Sanzo was a bit too slow to react, revealing that he's surprised. Never would he thought Gojyo was his love rival too. He regains control of his emotion again and replied coolly. "So? It is still none of your business and one more thing, I do NOT have any feelings for that saru."
It took a while for Gojyo to answer him back. "Why are you scared of admitting?" Gojyo sympathize Goku. The monkey had fallen in love with a timid owner. "Goku is much better off without you."
That was the thing Sanzo had been avoiding all along. It was a delicate time bomb that Gojyo had 'accidentally' stepped on.
Within five seconds flat, Sanzo was had his fingers wrapped around Gojyo's neck. He could have choked the unlucky man but the monk stopped himself. He loosen his grip and with the angry look still on his face, he warned Gojyo for the last time. "Never say that again."
The door creaked open. "Sanzo, I-" Goku's words hung in mid-air as his golden eyes opened wide in shock. His guardian was above Gojyo. To be precise, Sanzo had pinned the half naked Gojyo down on the bed. The picture sent one clear message to Goku's mind. He heard his heart smashed into a million pieces before he turned and ran away.
"Kuso! G-Goku!!" Sanzo leaped off of Gojyo and hesitated to decide whether he should just shoot the kappa for making a new mess, or resume to strangle him. In the end, he decided chasing after Goku was more important. The Gojyo-torturing session can wait.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
I ran as fast as I could through the crowed street. His voice... so loud and clear, I could hear him. But I shut it out from my mind, together with the scene earlier. Why did he have to hurt me? I know he doesn't love me... I knew it all along.
A few people glared and cursed at me as I push them aside to move on. Please, please stop following me. Even without looking back, I knew he was hot on my trail. Leave me alone! Go away! I don't want to look at you anymore!!
He had called me into his room. At first I thought he wanted to talk about... our relationship. I was so wrong. Gojyo... I hate you.
The sky suddenly darkens and thundering begins. This is not good. It starts drizzling. The crowd started to lessen as everyone went for shelter. I repeat. This is not good. "Goku!!"
His voice is so close now. He's going to catch me, going to lock me inside the room and show me how much he loves Gojyo. I quicken my pace and turned into a dark alley. He wouldn't be able to find me here. What? It's a dead end! "Goku." Oh no! He had found me.
I turned and stared at his drenched feature. Then I realized I was lucky that it rained. The rain had camouflaged the tears trailing down my cheeks.
"Don't come any closer."
~*~
"Don't come any closer."
Did I heard right? After all the trouble and mess I've gone through for him, he tells me to 'don't come any closer'? He isn't your average boy and damn he could run fast. Great, I can feel my temper rising. It tends to happen when it rains. With or without Goku, I want to get out of this rain. NOW.
"Stupid monkey." Oops. Did I just say that? From the looks on his face, I did. Well, screw that. I'm very unhappy now. Not only that Goku was stupid enough to misunderstand Gojyo and me (puke mentally), he didn't even give me a chance to explain. "Let's go back."
I waited. I am not the type to tolerate with his childishness. He's eighteen for god's sake! My tolerance is limited. I see no use in explaining to the monkey if he won't listen. Ch', didn't he have Konzen already? What is he so upset about?
"NO! I don't want to go back with you! How could you do that to me!" I could see the saru is crying even with the rain blinding my vision. Didn't I tell him before that crying is for the weaklings? And I don't need a weakling by my side? I'm getting fed-up of waiting.
"Goku..." I felt like rubbing my temple but resisted the urge. How much more can I take?
"I HATE YOU!!!!" He suddenly screamed.
That's it. I turned and walked away.
~*~
"I HATE YOU!!!!!" How did those harsh words come out? When did I learn how to say such a hateful thing to Sanzo? I opened my mouth to apologize but the words just won't come out. I hope to ask for his forgiveness.
It's too late. He had his back turned at me and he was...walking away. No, he would never leave me. I believe him. He would never leave me in the darkness. My eyes are tricking me. Sanzo is NOT walking away. Sanzo is not turning around the corner. Sanzo had not disappeared...
Who am I kidding? He's gone.
Is it too late to be scared? I realized now that it doesn't matter if Sanzo and Gojyo were having sex. What matters is that I have a space in his frostbitten heart. I'm not greedy. Just a tiny small one will do. But do I deserve my guardian's love after all?
"Sanzo." I whispered softly and waited hopefully. I try not to blink as the raindrops attacked my eyes. I might miss the golden hair and violet eyes coming out around the corner if I accidentally blinked. The wind blow and I was cold. Another fact hit me. My guardian isn't coming back for me.
New trails of tears rolled down. My nose was blocked so I had to breathe through my trembling lips. "I'm sorry." I cried out to the person who wasn't there anymore. What's the use of apologizing now? My whole body trembled and it wasn't because of the cold. "I'm sorry, Sanzo."
I hugged myself and squatted down to stop the tremendous shivers. I was going to break. "Please, don't leave me." I could barely hear the words myself, but I said it anyway. "I don't want to be alone." But I am. I am always alone.
It must have been the rain. Or else I could have heard the footsteps coming. Am I dreaming or is there a familiar sandals right in front of me. He came back!! I lifted my head.
~*~
"Goku." The joy in his golden eyes faded. I squatted down in front of him. It hurts me so to see him like that. The innocent look was gone. All given to the man named Sanzo. All I could give to him now, was my love. I hugged him. "Come back with me."
He trembled even more but finally let me comfort him. "K-Konzen." He buried his face at the crook of my neck and muttered my name. Don't worry, Goku. I promised him in silence. We'll leave this place one week later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
Days have passed. Sanzo and Goku have stopped talking to each other. Everything became unusual. Sanzo's paper fan did not appear no matter how noisy and irritating Goku was. He had rented another room to sleep alone. He seldom speaks to Hakkai or Gojyo. Goku on the other hand, was almost about the same as his master.
Gojyo had already confronted the saru and told him that no matter how horny he is, he would never be interested in a corrupted monk. So... Goku had misunderstood Sanzo after all. But what's done is done, he had said those words out and he can't take it back.
~*~
Goku couldn't sleep. Is that the reason why he is inside Sanzo's room? The lights were switched off and it was one or two in the morning. A few cans of empty beer cans lay crushed on the table with dozens of cigarettes butt. Everything that was supposed to be in this room was there, expect for Sanzo himself.
Something had been troubling Goku lately. He crept onto the messy empty bed and hugged Sanzo's pillow. The soft pillow still had a bit of his guardian's scent lingering on it. Goku rubbed his face against the pillow. He misses Sanzo.
//Goku, come with me. I won't treat you the way he did. I will always love you. // Konzen's words revolved in his mind. Stop his journey to the west? Leave his companions? Leave...Sanzo? Could he, Son Goku probably do those?
He hugged the pillow tighter. Goku was confused and scared. Should he follow Konzen who promised to never hurt him? Or stay with Sanzo who was giving him the silence treatment?
No!! He won't leave Sanzo! He had promised himself to protect Sanzo and always be by his side until... until the day he became useless to Sanzo. Finding this new answer was a relief to Goku. His eyelids suddenly felt very heavy and the scent of Sanzo surrounding him made him even more comfortable.
He finally gave in to a dreamless sleep.
~*~
Sanzo was half-drunk. After twenty-five cans of beer, who wouldn't? But he had puked most of the liquid out already. He used the wall as a guide as he made his way through the corridor. Walking in a straight line had become a problem to him.
Nevertheless, the monk failed to forget about those golden eyes even after getting himself drunk. He was there that day. He had gone back for Goku. He was sorry for leaving him. He knows how Goku hated to be left alone in a dark place.
But Goku wasn't alone. Another person was there. Konzen had taken his place. He stood in the rain, watching Konzen hugging Goku gently and then carrying the little saru up. All Sanzo could do, was to keep quiet and blame himself for everything.
As Gojyo told him, Goku is better off without him. It was official. A Sanzo can never love.
Sanzo finally arrived in front of his room door. He pushed the key into the keyhole but he found out that the door was already unlocked. [Didn't I locked it when I came out?] Without any further investigation, Sanzo walked into the dark room.
[Someone else is in here!] Sanzo immediately became alert. Someone actually dared to sleep on his bed! He stood beside the lump figure on his bed. Sanzo squinted his eyes and noted that the 'lump' had brown hair. 'He' shifted and turned 'his' back towards Sanzo.
Sanzo heaved a sigh and sat on the bed beside the figure. He reached out to touch the person's hair. Maybe it was the beer, maybe he was feeling really bold or maybe he had enough of lying to himself.
"Sorry. I've never meant to leave you that day." Sanzo murmured. He felt stupid, he wasn't even sure the saru is listening! "But it's all over, I can't lo-"
"Sanzo?" The figure sat up and rubbed his eyes.
Genjo Sanzo had just made the most ridiculous mistake in his life. "H- Hakkai?"
The voice was unmistakably Hakkai's. When the bedside lamp was turned on, Sanzo confirmed that it was Hakkai lying on his bed. He opened his mouth but Hakkai spoke first. "What are you doing here? Ano... where's Goku?"
Sanzo looked at the direction Hakkai was facing. It was an empty bed. He had to kick himself mentally for going into the wrong room and thinking that the 'imaginary' Goku had the courage to sleep on his bed. "Ch'. Who cares about that baka saru?"
Hakkai looked at him worriedly. "Sanzo, are you drunk?" The monk didn't answer him. Being the most sensible person in this group of insane people, Hakkai got up and poured Sanzo a glass of water.
Sanzo took it but he just held the glass with both hands. He could just barely see his own reflection in the water using the dimmed orange light. "I'm not drunk." Did he expect Hakkai to believe that?
His companion could just muster a sympathize smile upon hearing his drunken words. Sanzo apparently wasn't grateful for Hakkai's smile. "I am NOT drunk! Why should I be anyway? It's not like there's anything miserable for me to bored about!" He stopped as he realized he was actually blabbering nonsense. Then he noticed that Hakkai still had that smile on.
"Fuck. Just stop smiling." Sanzo, not wanting to see Hakkai's face anymore, returned his view to the glass in his hands.
"It's about Goku, isn't it? That's what's bothering you." Hakkai spoke with a calm smooth tone. He was positively sure about his guesses. Although he didn't want to admit that Goku was all Sanzo cared about. What about him? Was he anything more than a companion to Sanzo?
Sanzo was visibly stoned at Hakkai's words. "Yes. I mean, no." Sanzo paused to rethink his sentence. "Yes, that baka saru is always bothering me and no, I am not drunk because of him. He's nothing to me" He almost bitted his tongue. Did he just admit that he's drunk?
While Sanzo was confusing himself, Hakkai's smile had long disappeared from his face. "Why can't I take his place?"
"Huh?" Sanzo lifted his head to met with a breathtaking kiss. Hakkai had one hand on Sanzo's back and the other behind Sanzo's head. Both cleverly placed there to prevent Sanzo from breaking this kiss. At first, Sanzo tried to push Hakkai away but ironically, Hakkai's kiss had sucked away all his remaining strength.
Sanzo's hands that were placed on Hakkai's chest somehow moved around Hakkai's waist. Getting the encouragement, Hakkai dares himself to deepen the kiss. He tilted his head and forced his tongue into Sanzo's mouth. He then found what he had been searching and craving for; Sanzo's slippery tongue.
The alcoholic flavour Hakkai tasted drives the man into a state of no return. Never would he thought the kiss from Genjo Sanzo was so ecstasy. He wanted more than this little kiss. But they had to breathe first.
Breaking off the kiss, both men gasped and tried to regain their lost breath. Looking into each other's eyes lustfully, Hakkai immediately regretted. This is wrong! He was pleasuring himself but hurting Goku at the same time! He didn't want this to happen!
Before he had the chance to speak, Sanzo had locked his lips with Hakkai's. He couldn't think properly as Sanzo had pinned him down on the bed. Just one night, Hakkai tells himself, that he would not think of other people's feelings (mainly Goku's) except for himself. Just for tonight, he would be selfish and have Sanzo all to himself.
~*~
I closed the door silently and leaned on the cool wooden door. After a while, I let myself slump down onto the floor freely. Here I am, inside Sanzo's room. And where's Sanzo?
I had to grin myself silly at that stupid question. Sanzo is in my room.
Really, all I wanted was to go back to my room and lock the door. I was stupid enough to left it unlock when I came looking for Sanzo. I should have continued to sleep on Sanzo's bed. I should have ignored Hakkai's safety. I should have obediently stayed inside my room. Then I wouldn't have to witness Sanzo and Hakkai kissing.
I pinched my arm, hard. Then I winced in pain. No such luck, it isn't a dream. Correction, it's a nightmare. I hung my head low and wonder why am I not crying. Didn't I love Sanzo? Wasn't I supposed to weep or find Konzen for comfort? But seriously, I don't even know what am I doing here.
I shoved my fingers through my brownish hair and let out a deep sigh. Loving Sanzo is miserable, that's the only fact I've figured out. Sure I'm not crying, but that doesn't mean the agony I'm feeling is fake too. I shouldn't blame Hakkai or Sanzo for the pain in my chest. It wasn't their fault.
Sanzo had no feelings for me, it was all my wishful thinking. I was so stupid to not notice Hakkai had fallen for Sanzo the same way I did. No wonder Gojyo always calls me a baka. (I'm not a saru. Thank you very much.)
I clutched at my white shirt hanging loosely in front of my chest. //He's nothing to me. // Sanzo said that to Hakkai. Am I really 'nothing' to you, Sanzo? Don't you at least love me as your fateful pet? It's okay. You're still my everything. I can take it if you say you'll never love me.
I closed my eyes to wash away the beautiful picture of Sanzo kissing Hakkai in the dimmed orange light. But the picture just became clearer. I tried to think of other things that I love. Example, meat buns. It didn't work, all I could think of Sanzo. And do you know why?
Because I can hate meat buns and I can live without meat buns. That's the difference between meat buns and Sanzo.
Meat buns can't hurt me. That's another difference too.
I have finally found my reason to cry. Maybe taking Konzen's offer wasn't such a bad idea at all.
End of Chapter three
AN: I really hate that ending. It sucked!!! I can't continue this fic anymore. Sorry to all those who actually like this fic. You guys are the best! ^_^ I'll be waiting to read more Saiyuki fic!
A few thank you notes
Saiyukifan: Thanks for the review! I like the way you describe Sanzo and Konzen's expression! Hehehe... I didn't thought about that. Anyway, the past Goku is... well let's just say it remains a mystery even to myself. (NigHtEyeZ: Oi! Where are you, baka saru?? *Somewhere faraway* I'm NOT a SARU!!!)
Cutie-pie16: We just really want to see lotsa Konzen and Sanzo OOCness, ne? *Evil grin* But I hate to say that we won't get to see that part since this is the last Saiyuki fic I'm uploading. *Sigh* Thanks for being such a nice reviewer anyway!
chris: You really know how to brighten my day! *Bows ninety degree* Arigatou for the review!
obsidian: I agree with ya! Jealousy in a fic is the best!! Therefore, I hope to read more Sanzo-getting-jealous fic! (Sanzo-sama glares deadly at NigHtEyeZ.) *Gulps* Ehehe, thank you so much for reading it!!
Saiyuki-gal: Ano... arigatou!! *Gives you a huge bear hug*
Aspara: You know, I totally agree with you. As you see in this chapter, Innocent Eighteen was not meant to be cute. Thanks for pointing out the OOCness in Sanzo and Konzen!! I didn't noticed that!
laine: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I know waiting is a hard thing to do... ^_^
Morikawa Sei: Really? Glad you think it's interesting! I hope Goku is not too OOC in this chapter too! That'll be such a failure to me as a fanfic writer. Thanks for reading!
angah: Wah! Thanks for saying it is nice! You're nice too! Hope you'll like this chapter too!
M-i: Merry belated Christmas! Gods, am I so sorry to stop the fic here. You have no idea... Santa had already placed my name on the 'bad' list and I won't get a present next year! Gomen, ne! I'll continue if someone can knock the writers block out of my head. (Ouch!)*_ Thankz for the review!
jashuang: Hahaha!! ^o^ Yeah, Sanzo really DO have better fashion sense! How true! Thank you and I love your review!!
gallatica: Sorry, but I never though of Homura making an appearance. But I totally love that god! (*Sigh* Homura-sama... : o~ *Excuse while NigHtEyeZ drools*) Thanks for liking my fic!!
Shinta: Merry belated Christmas to you too!! And thanks for your review! I hope the story is not bad in your opinion!
terissa: Thankz for saying it's cute! I'll continue it if I know how to continue... Meow!
Star-chan: Hehe, thanks for your cool review! But I can't tell you how it ends though. Cause I don't even know it myself!! *Stupid NigHtEyeZ, stupid!*
Hanei Tamashii: Sank youu!! I love ur review!!
Well, until next time, Ja ne~~ _
.
AN: There's really something I need to confess... I know Sanzo, Konzen and Goku are really OOC here (as Aspara reviewed). Please remember Konzen is already Goku's 'lover' so he treats Goku differently. Sanzo is truly jealous (so he's OOC too!) and Goku, well, yes Aspara, Goku is THAT dumb and dense enough to not notice the two men hitting on him. (*Snif* *snif* *Dabs eyes with hanky* Poor Goku... such an innocent creature)
~*~*~ Innocent Eighteen ~*~*~
Chapter three
(Inside the inn)
Goku sat motionlessly on the chair. His golden eyes stared blankly at nothing particular. (Imagine Natuku sitting on his throne)
The four men standing around him can't decide what to do about him. "Now what?" Gojyo asked while rubbing the back of his head uneasily.
"Ch', I guess I'll have to do it then." Sanzo muttered unwillingly. He took a step towards Goku but was immediately stopped by Konzen who was blocking his way.
"Don't sweat about it. Leave the job to me." Konzen sent a message with his violet eyes that says 'Touch him and you die.' Sanzo had a vein popping on his forehead.
"I said I'LL do it!"
"No, I will!!"
The battle heat begins as Hakkai tried to lighten things up.
Flashback
"What have you done to him?" Sanzo aimed his gun at the useless youkai who was lying in a pool of blood. It was a lowly youkai, but he had to admit the youkai was pretty good at attempting to murder the Sanzo- ikkou (plus Konzen).
"The boy is hypnotized." Even though he's almost died, the youkai still gave Sanzo a chilling grin. He had the power to hypnotize Goku and used the saru to battle against the Sanzo-ikkou. Now without the youkai's command, Goku was just an empty shell.
"Ch'. I can see that." Konzen cocked his head towards the place where Hakkai and Gojyo were looking after Goku. "You better tell us how to get Goku back."
The youkai's red eyes darted from Sanzo to Konzen, then to Hakkai and Gojyo. He grinned evilly. "Heh, you have to..."
"How's Goku doing?" Gojyo asked Hakkai who was holding the saru's wrist.
"He's going to be fine, Gojyo." Hakkai announced with a smile. "I hope Sanzo found a cure for Goku..."
BANG! BANG! The duo snapped their head back to see a visibly angry Sanzo finishing off the youkai.
"I think he already did." Gojyo sweat dropped.
End of Flashback
"Maa, maa. Let's settle this nicely." Hakkai's voice could hardly be heard with Konzen and Sanzo shouting loudly at each other.
"Don't think I don't know what you're thinking of, you pervert monk!"
"Who are you calling a pervert?? If somebody has to wake Goku up by kissing him, that person should be me!! I'm his guardian!! Who do you think you are???"
"WHAT?!? I'm his lover, for god's sake! I won't let you kiss Goku!!"
"Ano..." Hakkai's smile was putted on by force. "You don't have to argue on who's going to 'wake' Goku up." He finally got the attention of the two sexy blond.
"What are you talking about, Hakkai?" Sanzo asked with a frown. Konzen could kiss Goku...over his dead body that is. The brown haired man pointed behind them. They turned and saw...
Gojyo was kissing Goku on the lips. Both Konzen and Sanzo stayed still like statue as they watched the ero kappa polluting the innocent saru.
After a few silenced moments, Gojyo lifted his head up and licked his lips. "I didn't know saru tasted so good."
*WHACK* *SMACK*
"ITAI!!!!!" Gojyo grabbed his head. A paper fan and a fist had landed at the same time. "What was that for?!!" He looked up in time to see Sanzo pulling out his gun, Gojyo quickly fled out of the room with Sanzo and Konzen following close behind.
"Eh?" Goku was suddenly alive again. "Hakkai?" The man smiled at him.
"Glad that you're awake, Goku." He said.
"Ano, Hakkai?" Goku looked around as though finding something. Hakkai waited for his question. "Is there any food? I'm hungry."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
He made sure the room was empty. Gojyo was in the shower, Konzen anywhere that's far away from Goku and him. Now all he has to do was wait.
Sanzo can't keep his eyes away from the door. Any moment now, Goku was going to come in through that door. He was ready, prepared and all to tell Goku... what? [What the heck am I going to tell the saru??] It was too late to chicken out now.
After Konzen's appearance, Sanzo had been worrying. Yes, the corrupted monk, worrying. He can't remember why he had the sudden idea of talking to Goku. Okay, he's lying. Deep inside, Sanzo knows what he was worrying about. He was worried that Goku will leave him.
Funny, how that never came into his mind, Goku was always a loyal pet. The chances of Goku leaving his side were like the ocean getting dried up. But it was different now. It is clear that Goku is attracted to Konzen no matter how much Sanzo denied it.
Sanzo closed his violet eyes and tries to imagine a life without Goku in it. He smiled. A pathetic smile; because he could see nothing in the image except darkness. He opened his eyes again. When did the saru melted his heart?
Without warning, the door creaked open. "Goku..." Sanzo's heart hammered against his chest painfully due to the excitement. It was Gojyo.
"Oh?" Little beads of water dripped down from his wet strands of red hair. Gojyo had a towel around his neck and he was half naked, only wearing his jeans. "Waiting for the saru?" He lifted an eyebrow and sat on the bed, opposite Sanzo.
"Ch'. It's none of your business. Get your ass out of here." Sanzo became hot-tempered; as the person who came in wasn't the person he was waiting for.
Ignoring him, Gojyo resumed to dry his hair. "You know, Sanzo-sama, anything that concerns Goku is my business too." He threw the towel on the floor and looked serious all of a sudden. He was tired of hiding the fact. Tired of seeing the relationship between Sanzo and Goku.
Sanzo folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned back lazily. "As in?" Even with his relaxed appearance, there was an uneasiness growing steadily inside Sanzo. This isn't the normal Gojyo.
"You and Konzen aren't the only ones in love with that baka saru." Amazingly, Gojyo blushed. There, he said it. Sha Gojyo finally admitted his feelings for Goku.
Sanzo was a bit too slow to react, revealing that he's surprised. Never would he thought Gojyo was his love rival too. He regains control of his emotion again and replied coolly. "So? It is still none of your business and one more thing, I do NOT have any feelings for that saru."
It took a while for Gojyo to answer him back. "Why are you scared of admitting?" Gojyo sympathize Goku. The monkey had fallen in love with a timid owner. "Goku is much better off without you."
That was the thing Sanzo had been avoiding all along. It was a delicate time bomb that Gojyo had 'accidentally' stepped on.
Within five seconds flat, Sanzo was had his fingers wrapped around Gojyo's neck. He could have choked the unlucky man but the monk stopped himself. He loosen his grip and with the angry look still on his face, he warned Gojyo for the last time. "Never say that again."
The door creaked open. "Sanzo, I-" Goku's words hung in mid-air as his golden eyes opened wide in shock. His guardian was above Gojyo. To be precise, Sanzo had pinned the half naked Gojyo down on the bed. The picture sent one clear message to Goku's mind. He heard his heart smashed into a million pieces before he turned and ran away.
"Kuso! G-Goku!!" Sanzo leaped off of Gojyo and hesitated to decide whether he should just shoot the kappa for making a new mess, or resume to strangle him. In the end, he decided chasing after Goku was more important. The Gojyo-torturing session can wait.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
I ran as fast as I could through the crowed street. His voice... so loud and clear, I could hear him. But I shut it out from my mind, together with the scene earlier. Why did he have to hurt me? I know he doesn't love me... I knew it all along.
A few people glared and cursed at me as I push them aside to move on. Please, please stop following me. Even without looking back, I knew he was hot on my trail. Leave me alone! Go away! I don't want to look at you anymore!!
He had called me into his room. At first I thought he wanted to talk about... our relationship. I was so wrong. Gojyo... I hate you.
The sky suddenly darkens and thundering begins. This is not good. It starts drizzling. The crowd started to lessen as everyone went for shelter. I repeat. This is not good. "Goku!!"
His voice is so close now. He's going to catch me, going to lock me inside the room and show me how much he loves Gojyo. I quicken my pace and turned into a dark alley. He wouldn't be able to find me here. What? It's a dead end! "Goku." Oh no! He had found me.
I turned and stared at his drenched feature. Then I realized I was lucky that it rained. The rain had camouflaged the tears trailing down my cheeks.
"Don't come any closer."
~*~
"Don't come any closer."
Did I heard right? After all the trouble and mess I've gone through for him, he tells me to 'don't come any closer'? He isn't your average boy and damn he could run fast. Great, I can feel my temper rising. It tends to happen when it rains. With or without Goku, I want to get out of this rain. NOW.
"Stupid monkey." Oops. Did I just say that? From the looks on his face, I did. Well, screw that. I'm very unhappy now. Not only that Goku was stupid enough to misunderstand Gojyo and me (puke mentally), he didn't even give me a chance to explain. "Let's go back."
I waited. I am not the type to tolerate with his childishness. He's eighteen for god's sake! My tolerance is limited. I see no use in explaining to the monkey if he won't listen. Ch', didn't he have Konzen already? What is he so upset about?
"NO! I don't want to go back with you! How could you do that to me!" I could see the saru is crying even with the rain blinding my vision. Didn't I tell him before that crying is for the weaklings? And I don't need a weakling by my side? I'm getting fed-up of waiting.
"Goku..." I felt like rubbing my temple but resisted the urge. How much more can I take?
"I HATE YOU!!!!" He suddenly screamed.
That's it. I turned and walked away.
~*~
"I HATE YOU!!!!!" How did those harsh words come out? When did I learn how to say such a hateful thing to Sanzo? I opened my mouth to apologize but the words just won't come out. I hope to ask for his forgiveness.
It's too late. He had his back turned at me and he was...walking away. No, he would never leave me. I believe him. He would never leave me in the darkness. My eyes are tricking me. Sanzo is NOT walking away. Sanzo is not turning around the corner. Sanzo had not disappeared...
Who am I kidding? He's gone.
Is it too late to be scared? I realized now that it doesn't matter if Sanzo and Gojyo were having sex. What matters is that I have a space in his frostbitten heart. I'm not greedy. Just a tiny small one will do. But do I deserve my guardian's love after all?
"Sanzo." I whispered softly and waited hopefully. I try not to blink as the raindrops attacked my eyes. I might miss the golden hair and violet eyes coming out around the corner if I accidentally blinked. The wind blow and I was cold. Another fact hit me. My guardian isn't coming back for me.
New trails of tears rolled down. My nose was blocked so I had to breathe through my trembling lips. "I'm sorry." I cried out to the person who wasn't there anymore. What's the use of apologizing now? My whole body trembled and it wasn't because of the cold. "I'm sorry, Sanzo."
I hugged myself and squatted down to stop the tremendous shivers. I was going to break. "Please, don't leave me." I could barely hear the words myself, but I said it anyway. "I don't want to be alone." But I am. I am always alone.
It must have been the rain. Or else I could have heard the footsteps coming. Am I dreaming or is there a familiar sandals right in front of me. He came back!! I lifted my head.
~*~
"Goku." The joy in his golden eyes faded. I squatted down in front of him. It hurts me so to see him like that. The innocent look was gone. All given to the man named Sanzo. All I could give to him now, was my love. I hugged him. "Come back with me."
He trembled even more but finally let me comfort him. "K-Konzen." He buried his face at the crook of my neck and muttered my name. Don't worry, Goku. I promised him in silence. We'll leave this place one week later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
Days have passed. Sanzo and Goku have stopped talking to each other. Everything became unusual. Sanzo's paper fan did not appear no matter how noisy and irritating Goku was. He had rented another room to sleep alone. He seldom speaks to Hakkai or Gojyo. Goku on the other hand, was almost about the same as his master.
Gojyo had already confronted the saru and told him that no matter how horny he is, he would never be interested in a corrupted monk. So... Goku had misunderstood Sanzo after all. But what's done is done, he had said those words out and he can't take it back.
~*~
Goku couldn't sleep. Is that the reason why he is inside Sanzo's room? The lights were switched off and it was one or two in the morning. A few cans of empty beer cans lay crushed on the table with dozens of cigarettes butt. Everything that was supposed to be in this room was there, expect for Sanzo himself.
Something had been troubling Goku lately. He crept onto the messy empty bed and hugged Sanzo's pillow. The soft pillow still had a bit of his guardian's scent lingering on it. Goku rubbed his face against the pillow. He misses Sanzo.
//Goku, come with me. I won't treat you the way he did. I will always love you. // Konzen's words revolved in his mind. Stop his journey to the west? Leave his companions? Leave...Sanzo? Could he, Son Goku probably do those?
He hugged the pillow tighter. Goku was confused and scared. Should he follow Konzen who promised to never hurt him? Or stay with Sanzo who was giving him the silence treatment?
No!! He won't leave Sanzo! He had promised himself to protect Sanzo and always be by his side until... until the day he became useless to Sanzo. Finding this new answer was a relief to Goku. His eyelids suddenly felt very heavy and the scent of Sanzo surrounding him made him even more comfortable.
He finally gave in to a dreamless sleep.
~*~
Sanzo was half-drunk. After twenty-five cans of beer, who wouldn't? But he had puked most of the liquid out already. He used the wall as a guide as he made his way through the corridor. Walking in a straight line had become a problem to him.
Nevertheless, the monk failed to forget about those golden eyes even after getting himself drunk. He was there that day. He had gone back for Goku. He was sorry for leaving him. He knows how Goku hated to be left alone in a dark place.
But Goku wasn't alone. Another person was there. Konzen had taken his place. He stood in the rain, watching Konzen hugging Goku gently and then carrying the little saru up. All Sanzo could do, was to keep quiet and blame himself for everything.
As Gojyo told him, Goku is better off without him. It was official. A Sanzo can never love.
Sanzo finally arrived in front of his room door. He pushed the key into the keyhole but he found out that the door was already unlocked. [Didn't I locked it when I came out?] Without any further investigation, Sanzo walked into the dark room.
[Someone else is in here!] Sanzo immediately became alert. Someone actually dared to sleep on his bed! He stood beside the lump figure on his bed. Sanzo squinted his eyes and noted that the 'lump' had brown hair. 'He' shifted and turned 'his' back towards Sanzo.
Sanzo heaved a sigh and sat on the bed beside the figure. He reached out to touch the person's hair. Maybe it was the beer, maybe he was feeling really bold or maybe he had enough of lying to himself.
"Sorry. I've never meant to leave you that day." Sanzo murmured. He felt stupid, he wasn't even sure the saru is listening! "But it's all over, I can't lo-"
"Sanzo?" The figure sat up and rubbed his eyes.
Genjo Sanzo had just made the most ridiculous mistake in his life. "H- Hakkai?"
The voice was unmistakably Hakkai's. When the bedside lamp was turned on, Sanzo confirmed that it was Hakkai lying on his bed. He opened his mouth but Hakkai spoke first. "What are you doing here? Ano... where's Goku?"
Sanzo looked at the direction Hakkai was facing. It was an empty bed. He had to kick himself mentally for going into the wrong room and thinking that the 'imaginary' Goku had the courage to sleep on his bed. "Ch'. Who cares about that baka saru?"
Hakkai looked at him worriedly. "Sanzo, are you drunk?" The monk didn't answer him. Being the most sensible person in this group of insane people, Hakkai got up and poured Sanzo a glass of water.
Sanzo took it but he just held the glass with both hands. He could just barely see his own reflection in the water using the dimmed orange light. "I'm not drunk." Did he expect Hakkai to believe that?
His companion could just muster a sympathize smile upon hearing his drunken words. Sanzo apparently wasn't grateful for Hakkai's smile. "I am NOT drunk! Why should I be anyway? It's not like there's anything miserable for me to bored about!" He stopped as he realized he was actually blabbering nonsense. Then he noticed that Hakkai still had that smile on.
"Fuck. Just stop smiling." Sanzo, not wanting to see Hakkai's face anymore, returned his view to the glass in his hands.
"It's about Goku, isn't it? That's what's bothering you." Hakkai spoke with a calm smooth tone. He was positively sure about his guesses. Although he didn't want to admit that Goku was all Sanzo cared about. What about him? Was he anything more than a companion to Sanzo?
Sanzo was visibly stoned at Hakkai's words. "Yes. I mean, no." Sanzo paused to rethink his sentence. "Yes, that baka saru is always bothering me and no, I am not drunk because of him. He's nothing to me" He almost bitted his tongue. Did he just admit that he's drunk?
While Sanzo was confusing himself, Hakkai's smile had long disappeared from his face. "Why can't I take his place?"
"Huh?" Sanzo lifted his head to met with a breathtaking kiss. Hakkai had one hand on Sanzo's back and the other behind Sanzo's head. Both cleverly placed there to prevent Sanzo from breaking this kiss. At first, Sanzo tried to push Hakkai away but ironically, Hakkai's kiss had sucked away all his remaining strength.
Sanzo's hands that were placed on Hakkai's chest somehow moved around Hakkai's waist. Getting the encouragement, Hakkai dares himself to deepen the kiss. He tilted his head and forced his tongue into Sanzo's mouth. He then found what he had been searching and craving for; Sanzo's slippery tongue.
The alcoholic flavour Hakkai tasted drives the man into a state of no return. Never would he thought the kiss from Genjo Sanzo was so ecstasy. He wanted more than this little kiss. But they had to breathe first.
Breaking off the kiss, both men gasped and tried to regain their lost breath. Looking into each other's eyes lustfully, Hakkai immediately regretted. This is wrong! He was pleasuring himself but hurting Goku at the same time! He didn't want this to happen!
Before he had the chance to speak, Sanzo had locked his lips with Hakkai's. He couldn't think properly as Sanzo had pinned him down on the bed. Just one night, Hakkai tells himself, that he would not think of other people's feelings (mainly Goku's) except for himself. Just for tonight, he would be selfish and have Sanzo all to himself.
~*~
I closed the door silently and leaned on the cool wooden door. After a while, I let myself slump down onto the floor freely. Here I am, inside Sanzo's room. And where's Sanzo?
I had to grin myself silly at that stupid question. Sanzo is in my room.
Really, all I wanted was to go back to my room and lock the door. I was stupid enough to left it unlock when I came looking for Sanzo. I should have continued to sleep on Sanzo's bed. I should have ignored Hakkai's safety. I should have obediently stayed inside my room. Then I wouldn't have to witness Sanzo and Hakkai kissing.
I pinched my arm, hard. Then I winced in pain. No such luck, it isn't a dream. Correction, it's a nightmare. I hung my head low and wonder why am I not crying. Didn't I love Sanzo? Wasn't I supposed to weep or find Konzen for comfort? But seriously, I don't even know what am I doing here.
I shoved my fingers through my brownish hair and let out a deep sigh. Loving Sanzo is miserable, that's the only fact I've figured out. Sure I'm not crying, but that doesn't mean the agony I'm feeling is fake too. I shouldn't blame Hakkai or Sanzo for the pain in my chest. It wasn't their fault.
Sanzo had no feelings for me, it was all my wishful thinking. I was so stupid to not notice Hakkai had fallen for Sanzo the same way I did. No wonder Gojyo always calls me a baka. (I'm not a saru. Thank you very much.)
I clutched at my white shirt hanging loosely in front of my chest. //He's nothing to me. // Sanzo said that to Hakkai. Am I really 'nothing' to you, Sanzo? Don't you at least love me as your fateful pet? It's okay. You're still my everything. I can take it if you say you'll never love me.
I closed my eyes to wash away the beautiful picture of Sanzo kissing Hakkai in the dimmed orange light. But the picture just became clearer. I tried to think of other things that I love. Example, meat buns. It didn't work, all I could think of Sanzo. And do you know why?
Because I can hate meat buns and I can live without meat buns. That's the difference between meat buns and Sanzo.
Meat buns can't hurt me. That's another difference too.
I have finally found my reason to cry. Maybe taking Konzen's offer wasn't such a bad idea at all.
End of Chapter three
AN: I really hate that ending. It sucked!!! I can't continue this fic anymore. Sorry to all those who actually like this fic. You guys are the best! ^_^ I'll be waiting to read more Saiyuki fic!
A few thank you notes
Saiyukifan: Thanks for the review! I like the way you describe Sanzo and Konzen's expression! Hehehe... I didn't thought about that. Anyway, the past Goku is... well let's just say it remains a mystery even to myself. (NigHtEyeZ: Oi! Where are you, baka saru?? *Somewhere faraway* I'm NOT a SARU!!!)
Cutie-pie16: We just really want to see lotsa Konzen and Sanzo OOCness, ne? *Evil grin* But I hate to say that we won't get to see that part since this is the last Saiyuki fic I'm uploading. *Sigh* Thanks for being such a nice reviewer anyway!
chris: You really know how to brighten my day! *Bows ninety degree* Arigatou for the review!
obsidian: I agree with ya! Jealousy in a fic is the best!! Therefore, I hope to read more Sanzo-getting-jealous fic! (Sanzo-sama glares deadly at NigHtEyeZ.) *Gulps* Ehehe, thank you so much for reading it!!
Saiyuki-gal: Ano... arigatou!! *Gives you a huge bear hug*
Aspara: You know, I totally agree with you. As you see in this chapter, Innocent Eighteen was not meant to be cute. Thanks for pointing out the OOCness in Sanzo and Konzen!! I didn't noticed that!
laine: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I know waiting is a hard thing to do... ^_^
Morikawa Sei: Really? Glad you think it's interesting! I hope Goku is not too OOC in this chapter too! That'll be such a failure to me as a fanfic writer. Thanks for reading!
angah: Wah! Thanks for saying it is nice! You're nice too! Hope you'll like this chapter too!
M-i: Merry belated Christmas! Gods, am I so sorry to stop the fic here. You have no idea... Santa had already placed my name on the 'bad' list and I won't get a present next year! Gomen, ne! I'll continue if someone can knock the writers block out of my head. (Ouch!)*_ Thankz for the review!
jashuang: Hahaha!! ^o^ Yeah, Sanzo really DO have better fashion sense! How true! Thank you and I love your review!!
gallatica: Sorry, but I never though of Homura making an appearance. But I totally love that god! (*Sigh* Homura-sama... : o~ *Excuse while NigHtEyeZ drools*) Thanks for liking my fic!!
Shinta: Merry belated Christmas to you too!! And thanks for your review! I hope the story is not bad in your opinion!
terissa: Thankz for saying it's cute! I'll continue it if I know how to continue... Meow!
Star-chan: Hehe, thanks for your cool review! But I can't tell you how it ends though. Cause I don't even know it myself!! *Stupid NigHtEyeZ, stupid!*
Hanei Tamashii: Sank youu!! I love ur review!!
Well, until next time, Ja ne~~ _
.