Ok. I know it was kind of mean to leave you guys hanging like that, but like I said, I just couldn't write the rest of the prank without laughing. I'm doing my best to combat that now. I hope you enjoy!
Secrets of Hogwarts 2Chapter 7: Snape gets it Again
When Harry and Ron woke up the next morning, they were still laughing. Dean, Seamus, and Neville were convinced that they had lost their minds. It turned out that Lavender and Parvati felt the same way about Hermione, who had apparently been giggling in her sleep. The three of them managed to get up and dressed without raising suspicion among the remaining members of Gryffindor House. They nearly lost it, however, when the apparitions floated through the wall by the fireplace, laughing loudly amongst themselves. They informed the rest of the Marauders that they had spent the night laughing at Snape while he slept. Harry considered this a phenomenal waste of time, but didn't bring it up.
Upon entering the Great Hall for breakfast, the Marauders and their apparitional counterparts immediately noticed the missing seat at the teacher's table. This nearly brought on a fresh bout of laughter, but they somehow managed to keep it down.
Early into breakfast, it happened. Slowly and softly at first, ballet music began to play. The hubbub of voices quieted gradually as the music grew. Everyone (even seven certain mischief makers) was looking around to find the source, when the doors of the Hall swung wide open.
It was Snape. He looked absolutely horrible. The makeup on his face had dried up somewhat over the night, and of course it didn't blend well with his face or itself. Bright green mascara with red eyeliner, dark purple blush, and bright yellow lipstick just doesn't work. And if it's all on a bright white base, like on Snape's face, the effect is even worse. It didn't help at all either that he was widely smiling…an expression that just didn't fit on his face. His hair lay as limp and greasy as it ever did, worsening the effect by far. The dress Ron had put on him looked as bad as it had the night before. Even the enchanted teddy bears on it seemed to be ashamed. The pink slippers Harry had added matched, but looked to be a size too small.
Nothing was said for several minutes. Everyone was staring at Snape, wondering if he'd lost his mind. He simply smiled his horrible smile back at all of them. Even the apparitions weren't laughing. Finally, Snape spoke up…in a high-pitched, only vaguely feminine voice.
"Good day to you, wonderful children. Isn't it a beautiful day?" His smile increased, and he batted his eyes. An involuntary shudder swept the crowd. Professor Dumbledore spoke up, somehow.
"My dear Professor Snape, I don't think you're at all well." Snape simply laughed, a rather scary laugh that still managed to match his voice.
"But who is Professor Snape, dear sir? My name is Serena! I am…" and he added a flourish that caused the dress to rise somewhat and nearly make a few students sick, "a beautiful ballet dancer!" He started dancing around the room in a terribly ungainly fashion, screaming, "I AM A PRETTY LADY!!!!!" The pirouette he did in the middle of the Hufflepuff table caused three female students to faint, and five male students to be sick. His no-hands cartwheel onto the Ravenclaw table caused six more students to pass out.
In retrospect, Harry thought things would have been fine if Snape had never noticed Malfoy. However, a full head of silver-blond hair is easy to pick out in a crowd of brunettes. Snape, after righting himself on the Ravenclaw table, was facing the Slytherin table and immediately picked Draco out of the crowd. His smile somehow got wider, causing Crabbe and Goyle to scream and cover their eyes. Draco immediately assumed a "deer in the headlights" look. It was almost as if he knew what was going to happen.
"Catch me, darling boy!" Snape-er-"Serena" screamed, and leaped full force at Draco. Draco, who obviously wanted nothing to do with the whole thing, ducked at the last second. "Serena" sailed over his head and ran full force into the wall, knocking "herself" out.
Roughly five seconds after Snape hit the wall, someone snickered. It escalated quicker than anyone could have imagined, swelling throughout the Great Hall. Everyone was laughing. The tables were taking serious damage from being pounded so hard by fists. There was no room to walk because half the population of Hogwarts was rolling on the floor. Harry was certain that he'd seen Dumbledore cracking up. Of course, through the tears in his eyes, he couldn't be sure.
Classes were cancelled that day. They had to be. Even after the laughing stopped, no one was paying attention in any class. No one would have thought it, but even Hermione wasn't paying attention. Snape's little escapade was simply too funny. There was a line stretching throughout the halls that ended at the hospital wing, where everyone was crowding to see Snape. He and Madam Pomfrey only got peace when Dumbledore locked the door with a special charm.
The Marauders celebrated that night, in the Meeting Place. A table from the Gryffindor common room had been brought there, and Transfigured into a marble pedestal with a prowling tiger on it (which, of course, really prowled). The pedestal had an inscription:
"For outstanding Marauding at Hogwarts:
Lily Evans Potter
'Firefur'
The Marauders, past and present, toasted Lily that night. She was incredibly honored, and even made a small speech in which she remarked how glad she was to be a Marauder, and how happy she was to have Harry following in hers and James's footsteps. Her only complaint was toward Ron.
"Lionheart, why did you turn Snape's underwear into a pair of pink panties? That was what was making people get sick and pass out." Ron looked rather bewildered.
"I didn't."
(A/N: I actually didn't know how this prank would end. It got to the point where I thought of something so funny that I was cracking up again. I still am, as a matter of fact. Just the thought of Alan Rickman looking like Snape the way I described him is making me laugh. Well, you guys know the procedure. Review please!)