Title: Gestalt

Author: Caer Note: Hi! Well, I'm back to 3x4 for a bit. This fic has been sitting on my drive for a while. I decided I really needed to get it finished before I start anything else. Let me know what you think.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Weirdness, Yaoi, Lemon (eventually) Some OOC for the supporting characters.

Pairings: 3x4

Status: Complete (Part 5)

Disclaimer: Feedback is so desired. Don't own anything. Not making money, just losing sleep.

Howard was a kind man.

He was a good man... a man with finesse, sophistication... a man in control.

He made his way cheerfully down the hallway, smiling at the patients in friendly greeting. He made things a little bit happier when he walked through the halls, always polite and humorous. He always thought of others. He chatted amiably with the orderly who accompanied him. The man was going to be a father soon and Howard congratulated him and recounted stories of his own siblings and when they were born. He stopped at one of the rooms and peeked into the open door, a mischievous grin on his face. A little girl with red hair sat on the bed coloring. Howard smiled fondly. He looked at his watch, waiting for the second hand to hit the twelve before strolling in.

"Maremeia!"

The girl looked up and her eyes lit with excitement.

"Howard!"

He came in and sat down with her. Children loved him.

"That's a very pretty picture Maremeia."

The girl nodded. "It's for Mister Quatre."

Howard smiled and patted her on the head. He smiled at the orderly who sat outside watching him. The orderly smiled back and winked.

"What a sweet girl you are. I brought you something."

The girl opened her mouth wide in amazement before smiling excitedly.

"For my birthday?"

"For your birthday."

"Oh, thank you! You remembered!"

He took a quick look at the time, and then gave her another quick squeeze.

"How could I forget? Now, I couldn't wrap it, but they let me order it special, just for you."

With this he pulled a small case from his bag. It was a little yellow plastic case with a treasure of hidden contents. Maremeia took it elatedly and set it down on the bed opening it up. Inside, it contained crayons of every color as well as a notebook of drawing paper, and various erasers and even some charcoal. There were slots where other things went, but they were empty. The girl didn't seem to care though as she ran her little hands over the crayons.

"It's for me? My very own?" She asked quietly and a little awed.

Howard smiled benevolently. He was so good... so generous.

"That's right kiddo. Now if you want to use the colored pencils or pencils, you just need to go check them out, but they're only yours, so no one else can check them out okay?"

The girl nodded happily. "Kay. Thank you." She crawled over and wrapped her little arms around his neck.

Howard laughed and pried her off good humouredly before grabbing his little canvas bag and rejoining the orderly outside in the hall. As they walked toward the common area, they passed Nurse Une. She smiled.

"That was very nice of you Howard."

Howard chuckled meekly. "Well, she deserves more, but it's the least I can do." He replied in his husky impish voice. He took her hand and gave it a quick suggestive peck. She laughed, blushing. He smiled. He was a lady-killer. All the women loved him.

He started suddenly and looked at his watch, frowning. "I had better hurry. Zechs is getting voted off the island today. It would be bad if I missed."

" Survivor' waits for no man eh Howard? Have fun!"

Howard laughed and walked away with the orderly.

"I always have fun. All work and no play makes Howard a dull boy."

He could hear Une laughing her pretty little laugh behind him. He was a funny man. He could make anyone laugh.

Howard swaggered to his appointed place in front of the small TV in the corner. He hummed a cocky little tune as he looked at his watch, waiting for the second hand to hit the 12 before flipping the small tube on. He placed the remote carefully on the left arm of the chair before reaching into his canvas bag and pulling out a small bag of goldfish crackers.There were exactly 100 in the bag. Just enough. He was always precise. He was a very neat, very meticulous person. Nothing was ever out of place. He happily stretched and sunk into the small chair as the "Survivor" theme song began to play. He set the canvas bag neatly by the chair and settled in.

Trowa had a headache. He had actually curled up in the chair at some point during the interview. Quatre sat across from him smiling. The two boys had exhausted the interview, going over everything and nothing... nothing conclusive anyway. Trowa felt as if he had lived, breathed and eaten Quatre's life for a full 2 hours, pregnant with information. Quatre had been incredibly detailed in his account, trying to make sure that Trowa would have what he needed for his paper.

He knew about the ranch in Kentucky where Quatre grew up. His mother had raised Arabian's and Quatre had practically grown up on the back of a horse. His mother had died when he was eight. He wasn't sure how, but he remembered waking up one day and being told that his mother was gone. His father had told him and they spent the day crying. From that day on, Quatre had insisted on helping his sister Iria feed the horses. He and his older sister had become fast friends and Iria had pretty much raised him from then on. Later on, the girl even took it upon herself to tutor Quatre since some of the staff, including Quatre's old tutor had left. Later on, Quatre had been told that his mother's death was in fact, a suicide.

Quatre had a favorite horse that he had kept for himself... a dapple Gray thoroughbred named Sandrock. Quatre had actually raced Sandrock and won in several competitions over the years. Iria had worked with Quatre to help him become an excellent jockey with his elfin stature and skilled senses. They had discovered that empaths could make excellent jockeys.They could sense the emotions and even the energy of the horse and could practically become one with the animal. Quatre had perfected this technique with Sandrock, winning some of the smaller races in Kentucky. Unfortunately, he was not old enough to enter the Kentucky derby itself then.

As far as Trowa could tell, Wufei and Heero had been part of him since about the time his mother died, but there was still nothing that Quatre could remember as even slightly traumatic. Though, there were a small percentage of DID cases that didn't come from prolonged trauma. Maybe it was simply the strain of being an empath.

That was an idea.

To be able to see who people really are behind the façade must be trying. In a way, a lifetime of that could be seen as traumatic. Maybe Wufei and Heero helped to protect him from that reality.

Trowa decided to think about that possibility tonight, but right now, he was just burnt out.He and Quatre... and Wufei had gone over his life in relatively intricate detail for far too long and now Trowa just wanted to get out of there and get some pizza and a beer and relax. The only problem was that he really wanted to take Quatre with him.

"You shouldn't suck on that. It'll get hard."

Trowa looked up, startled. He blushed, taking the eraser end of his pencil out of his mouth.The blond laughed softly... a mischievous little grin on his pale face. Trowa closed his book and smiled.

"Quatre... I think I'm done."

Quatre blinked.

"Are you sure Trowa? Will that be enough?"

Trowa shrugged.

"It's really just extra credit. They want a short essay and I'm pretty sure I can BS my way through it with what I have."

Quatre smiled and laughed.

"And I thought you were a devoted student."

"I get by. Besides..." Trowa sighed. "I don't want to analyze' you anymore."

Quatre's eyes widened.

"What do you mean Trowa?"

Trowa paused. He wasn't really sure what to tell the blond, but somewhere along the road, Quatre had become a friend and as hard as Trowa tried to detach himself from the boy, he could not... and he could no longer think of him as a case study. He licked his lips.

"Quatre why did you kiss me?"

Quatre's brows furrowed. He stared off into the distance, also apparently trying to think of the right words to say. Trowa waited patiently and occupied himself with studying the beautiful features of the pale boy. He found his eyes drawn to the small mouth as it worked in thought, the small white teeth scraping absently against the moistened pink lips before they opened to speak. Quatre stared at the arm of the chair as he explained.

"You look so sad... so alone. You say you're not, but underneath, I can see it. I can feel it. I try to block out your emotions Trowa, because I don't want to scare you, but I can't help it sometimes. You feel like something's missing. You look at other people and feel a soft jealousy. Not an unkind jealousy, but sorrowful envy. Like everyone has found what you yourself cannot, no matter how hard you try. Even me. When you tried to make me feel better, I could tell that you didn't want me to be that sad... like you are. I looked at your mouth... and it just felt like my kiss belonged there."

Quatre looked up and into Trowa's eyes and Trowa had never felt as exposed in his life as he did now in those blue-green pools. Yet some part of him was elated that someone understood.Not just someone, but Quatre. Trowa swallowed and nodded.

"That's why I don't want to analyze you anymore Quatre. I don't know how, but in two days, you've become more of a friend than I've ever had. I want to understand you, but I don't want to study you."

Quatre swallowed and nodded.

"I understand. Thank you Trowa."

Trowa leaned forward and took the pale hand in his own.

Relena Dorlian pursed her lips as she stared out over the common area. She strode over to the receptionist.

"Ms. Shbeiker, why are the patients out in the common area? It's 6:00."

The black haired girl turned to the director stiffly, and paused before relaxing slightly.

"Mrs. Dorlian, we don't send the patients to their rooms at six. They don't like being cooped up and it's easier to keep an eye on them out here since we don't have enough

staff.""But that's dangerous. Allowing all these people to gather in one area is practically inviting a riot. The purpose of putting them in their rooms is to avoid any unnecessary provocation when the kitchen staff is setting up for dinner."

Relena could see the girls fingers twist and curl tightly around her pen, though she remained calm.

"That may be, but the kitchen staff has been instructed to stay away from the patients. I know it's against regulation, but it seems to work better. They've never had a riot, at least as long as I've been here."

Relena sighed. She would have to talk to the staff and doctors to find out who had stopped following the rules. She straightened and smiled at the girl though. It was unfair to blame the poor girl.

"With the smaller staff, I can understand why they would change the rules. We'll just have to change them back though. Maybe you can help me Mrs. Shbeiker, since you seem to know the ropes pretty well around here."

Hilde frowned.

"I guess. I mean, sure, I'm happy to help... I just don't think it's right."

Relena motioned for two of the orderlies to come over.

"Of course it is. The only way to keep the patients from rioting is to take the option away.Please come with me gentlemen."

"But how will they ever get better?"

As Relena Dorlian walked away, Hilde sighed and looked down, wondering if she would be better off making coffee drinks for people. You couldn't get emotionally attached to coffee.Well... unless it was a double latte. She reluctantly went back to entering the day's reports, hoping that there wouldn't be a scene. Somehow she doubted that though.

I wish I could take you out of here so we could talk more Quatre.

Quatre shrugged, twining his hand in Trowa's absently. "Well you could if you want to fill out seven hundred different forms and get analyzed and approved by the board and then wait for a year... but I could get before that. As long as I can convince Heero to rig the security system for me, I could get out tonight if you wanted. Do you want to? Should we go out tonight?"

Trowa shook his head. This seemed wrong and too fast again. He didn't want to risk Quatre's

"Maybe not Quatre. You're underage."

Quatre looked at him indignantly. "I look underage you mean. I'm 18."

"That's good, but..."

Quatre looked at him, a flash of uncertainty beginning to mar his usually happy features.Trowa leaned forward quickly and squeezed his hand.

"Don't get me wrong Quatre. I know this sounds selfish, but if we get caught, I could be thrown out of school... and who knows what could happen to you."

Quatre looked down and stroked Trowa's hand with a pale thumb.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't even consider that. You're not the one being selfish, I am."

Though Quatre seemed lost in self-deprecating thought. Trowa stared at the boy and wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into. He found that he couldn't really respond as he felt the blonde's nimble little digit stroke up the length of his own fingers. He felt his mind and body quickly sinking into gutter territory and he tried desperately to control himself.

Quatre looked up, smiling once again. He was completely oblivious of the effect he had had, Trowa hoped. He gulped nervously as the slim fingers continue to stroke his own. Quatre looked up, smiling again.

"Bet you never counted on one of your patients kissing you did you?"

Trowa looked around warily and then leaned forward, doing something he had been afraid to do for what seemed like forever. He kissed the blond softly on the mouth very briefly. He felt the boy sigh on his lips and felt a tongue dart out to swipe at his bottom lip, but he had already pulled away before anything else could happen. Quatre licked his lips and smiled.Trowa returned the smile shyly.

"You're not my patient Quatre."

He glanced up at the clock.

"My time's up." He sighed. "I think I have what I need for the paper, but tomorrow is my last session with you."

Quatre got up and helped him gather his papers and books.

"Well you could still come see me as a visitor couldn't you? I don't think that Nurse Une would have a problem with it."

Trowa looked up and smiled.

"Yeah."

His smile faded however, when he found that the boy was warily looking across the room. His posture had straightened and his hands had curled into loose fists. Trowa followed the boy's gaze and saw that most of the patients had left the commons. A few remained, but they looked worried. At the end of the room by the television, there appeared to be a bit of an argument occurring between two of the orderlies, a blond woman and an older patient who was watching television. Trowa looked back at the boy.

"Wufei?"

Wufei turned and put a hand on Trowa's arm.

"We should get you out of here. This could be bad."

I'm very sorry, but it's hospital regulation. All patients must be in their rooms by six. I'm afraid you'll just have to miss your show. Perhaps we can arrange for one of the staff to tape it for you.

Howard stubbornly gritted his teeth, his eyes still never leaving the television. Things weren't working out the way they were supposed to.

"You don't understand... it's not the same."

Relena Dorlian sighed and stood up. She nodded briefly to the man next to her.

"Orderly... please."

The man leaned over and tried to gently take Howard's arm and pull him out of the chair, but he snarled and pulled his arm away.

"Let go of me!" He growled. His eyes shown with unbridled fury for a brief moment before they cleared and he smiled apologetically. He was a forgiving man.

"Please Ramirez. Tell this young' lady that I always have to watch my show... and eat my goldfish. Is that such a terrible thing?"

Ramirez shook his head, trying to keep things friendly.

"Sorry Howard, but there's not much I can do. Let's not cause a scene huh?"

Howard looked at both orderlies. They were big men. They both seemed poised for action. As if Howard was going to provoke them. They were his friends though. He was a peaceful man. He smiled and stood up, grabbing his bag. He put the remaining goldfish back inside. He smiled his most charming smiles at the blond woman who returned it hesitantly, a bit relieved. He was a calm man and very charming.

He looked over at the screen one last time to find that Zechs had not been voted off after all. The Tribal counsel had apparently decided to get rid of Sally Po instead.

Howard frowned. This woman had ruined everything. Howard had lost control of things. He shrugged his shoulders and turned toward his room, followed by the orderlies and that woman.He changed course slightly, still heading for his room, but passing by one of the young doctors instead.

It happened in seconds.

"Trowa!" Wufei yelled.

Trowa felt a stabbing pain travel through his neck as he was yanked back against the wall and pinned by his head in a vice like grip. Wincing with pain, he saw stars as he tried to maneuver himself onto his knees and out of the killing grip of a large man, but no matter which way he twisted, it only torqued his neck painfully and he could only hang uncomfortably, his vision whiting out from the pain. He could feel the nervous heartbeat and the rapid rise and fall of the man's chest behind him. Strangely, the man smelled clean like... the lotion Trowa had smelled on Quatre the day before. As he tried to look up, he saw the two orderlies and a young blond woman frozen in shock. He could only guess that the man holding him was the patient they had been arguing with. He tried to turn his head to see Quatre... or rather, Wufei, hoping the boy wasn't scared or hurt, but his captor felt him move and twisted harder, causing Trowa's eyes to tear up and his vision go white again. This time, instead of moving his head, he strained his eyes to see his friend. His vision was hazy and he could barely breath, but through his darkened vision he could make out the blond.

He was frozen as well, but instead of shock, a look of intense concentration and wariness defined his features. His hand was slightly raised in that of someone who is trying to keep the calm, palm down, reaching out, but not moving.

"Howard, don't do anything you'll regret." Wufei cautioned.

Trowa felt another stab of pain as his head was jerked again. He heard the man snarl. Trowa could almost hear the manic smile that shaped the words he said so calmly.

"Get away from me. Or I'll break his fucking neck."

Worth the wait? Sorry it took me even longer than usual.

Part 6 --/