Gestalt 9
Trowa didn't want to leave.
Visiting hours were nearly over, but the pensive boy felt that things
should not be left quite yet. Having
just pushed away the young patient he was very obviously enamoured with, there
was a tension in the air. Maybe Trowa
was creating it all by himself, but it needed to be filled. He needed to make sure that this boy knew
that he was serious. Perhaps he needed
it more for himself. He was a little
afraid. Before, it had only seemed like
fleeting words, but Wufei's soft whisper had promised more than that. It was a choice though… a choice he could
take or leave, but he couldn't just stay there. He had to solidify the path, one way or another. He looked into the intelligent blue depths
of the blond boy's eyes and took a step.
"I promise I'll come see you on Monday." He almost blurted
out, needing to get the words out while they were there.
"A promise isn't
needed." Wufei said, that distinct
knowing smile brushing the corners of his mouth. "I will await your visit."
It wasn't enough.
Trowa grabbed one of the milk-pale hands, looking at it hesitantly
before bringing it quickly to his lips and brushing a light kiss over the
smooth knuckles. He looked up, smiling.
"I'll make it a promise anyway." Having said it and having a need to leave it at that, Trowa
flashed one last shy smile at Wufei and left the room.
Wufei stood staring, a bit unsettled. The warmth of Trowa's kiss still lingered on
his fingers. As the door closed, he
brought the hand to his nose, taking in the lingering scent of the tall boy.
"You were right Quatre."
"See Wufei? I told you.
He's perfect."
"We'll see. He could
still turn."
"He won't Heero."
"We'll see."
* * *
Trowa stood outside the door, still for a moment as he let
out a long breath. He felt lighter
somehow. Some of his demons had just
been exorcized in that room, accented by the last action of a promise.
Technically, he
could have walked away at this point.
His assignment was over. The
easy out would be to convince himself that Quatre was ill and that a
relationship was impossible. No
worries. Even though there would be
plenty of regret.
But he realized he was already a prisoner of the sallow boy
with the blue green eyes. Trowa wanted
to be with him… with them. Escape was
almost impossible at this point.
He made his way down the white hall, smiling to
himself... Remembering the startled
look in the otherwise impassive eyes of the Chinese alter. It had felt right. He had taken some control in the situation and Wufei's surprise
had been worth it. The act had felt
right. Blissful thoughts of Quatre's
body on his wormed their way into his thoughts and he smiled even wider.
"Well someone looks like he got some."
Trowa snapped out of his reverie to see a grinning Hilde
watching him, a mischievous look in her eye.
What were you guys doing in there?
Trowa felt his blood heat.
"Nothing really." He
tried to school his expression, but an irrepressible smile ruined the effect.
"Uh huh! I thought
so." She smiled and he mirrored it,
appreciating her comfort with the whole thing.
After all, she had advised him to pursue this opportunity in the first
place. He went up to talk to her. She
was smiling, but there was a hint of worry at the corners of her eyes.
"What's wrong?" He
had to ask.
"Huh? Oh, it's just
these staff changes. Every time we have
a big turnover, things get crazy. You
can see it in the patients too. They
get nervous or antsy. Even the ones
that aren't quite there know that something is going on."
"You care a lot about the patients here."
Hilde smiled and set her elbows on the desk, chin in her
hands.
"Most of them are better friends than anyone I know at
school." She sighed. "They're honest. Well… except for the pathological liars you know? I mean, even if they aren't really honest,
they don't put on a front." She waved
her hands in the air. "No that's not it
either." She took a breath and let it
out, meeting Trowa's eyes. "I don't
have to pretend with them you know? I
don't have to pretend like I'm interested in what they say because they're
popular. I don't have to smile all the
time, even when I feel lousy because people expect it. I can be exactly who I am with them for some
reason. They don't go to school, they
don't care. They don't expect anything
from me except some kindness and compassion.
How many people want that out there?
Nobody trusts each other." She
stared out over the almost empty lobby.
"Maybe it's because I'm so far from the rest of my family,
but somehow, this has become my home.
These are my real friends."
She paused, but Trowa waited as she looked up in
remembrance.
"You know, the last two years, I've had a chance to go to
Dorothy Catalonia's Thanksgiving party.
Do you believe that? Me. In this backwater town, that means
something. I don't know why, but she
invited me personally. I think she sees
me as some sort of little pet project.
Like I'm her charity case."
Trowa understood.
Dorothy Catalonia was the belle of this tiny town. Her parties were epic. She was also quite snobbish. She seemed nice enough as long as you didn't
get on her bad side. Her beauty and
poise bought her a lot of popularity though, as did her money. In a town this small, she was a star.
"You know what I did instead though?" She laughed. "Nurse Une and I and a couple of the orderlies bought about 5
turkeys and spent the whole weekend cooking a real Thanksgiving meal for the
center. Dorothy's reaction was
unforgettable." Hilde laughed a little
harder this time. She made a snotty
face and imitated Dorothy's valley wannabe, but not quite right accent. "You
skipped MY party so you could feed your little… crazy people?"
Trowa couldn't help but chuckle. Hilde looked up though, her smile fading. "Oh dear."
He turned to see a little red headed girl in fuzzy pajamas
with feet come padding down the long hallway, a very dirty brown bunny clutched
to her chest, and a sad pouty look on her face. Hilde came out from behind the desk.
"What's wrong sweetheart?
You should be asleep."
Maremeia sniffed, her little lower lip sticking out a little
more. She shot the sad look at Trowa
too for effect.
"I had bad dreams."
Hilde scooped her up and sat down in one of the big soft
lobby chairs. Trowa followed.
"Honey," Hilde said
brushing the soft red hair with her fingers.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
The girl nodded, wiggling further into Hilde's soft lap.
"I'm scared.
Something bad's gonna happen."
"Like what?" Trowa
said, bending his knees to face her.
Maremeia shrugged and sniffed.
Hilde smiled at Trowa and rolled her eyes. "You know what? I think you're just too excited from too much cake… and too much
fun and presents… and all these new people who have been around and maybe
that's why you had a bad dream. You
want me to tell you a story? Maybe that
will make the bad dreams go away.
Mei sniffed, shooting another dramatically sad look at Trowa
who tried not to laugh. She was really
laying it on thick.
"Look, Trowa… would
you mind watching the lobby for me? We
don't have anyone to cover right now since meds are being passed out. If you do, I'll give you a ride home." Hilde turned plaintive eyes at him.
Trowa winked at Meia when he knew the swayed girl wasn't
looking.
"That sounds fair."
"Thanks. I won't be
too long. No one usually comes out this
late. If they do though, just
call." She walked down the long white
hall, a content Maremeia draped over her shoulder, still clutching the dirty
bunny.
Trowa went to the desk, not wanting to go behind the
counter, but not wanting to sit on one of the soft couches or chairs lest he
fall asleep. It was late enough. His eyes were beginning to take on that burn
of exhaustion already. Of course, he
hadn't been getting much sleep for the past two nights.
He felt bad having to leave Quatre even for two days. Even though they had met only two days ago,
Trowa already had a feeling of leaving something very familiar. Hilde was right. There was something about this place that made one feel… at home. He remembered how cold the white halls of
the hospital had seemed as he came here, but the care center itself had small
human touches everywhere. Crafts that
the patients had done lined the walls and there was a slight messiness to the
main activity room that made Trowa think of his childhood days in school. Even the colorful plastic binneys that fit
into the shelves of the wall with each patient's name written in bright magic
marker went with the comparison. It was
a place of caring. The rest of the
world would just as soon forget about these people, but here in the center,
everyone cared.
He felt his eyes closing on him as he leaned at the desk,
but a noise brought him out of his half conscious reverie. Hilde had stepped behind the desk to grab her
coat and purse.
"Sorry to scare you.
Ready to go?"
Trowa nodded and brushed the sleep from his eyes. He put a hand on his pocket to make sure he
hadn't left his wallet behind, a gesture of habit.
"Thanks for giving me a ride."
"It's no trouble. Besides,
it saves you some time… and you look like you could use the sleep." She noted with some concern.
"You too." He
replied to the girl, who a similar look of fatigue. She laughed.
"Touché Trowa. We
can keep each other awake on the way home."
"Get back! Leave me
alone! Please!"
They both looked up.
That was definitely Quatre's voice.
Down the hall, they could see the med cart by his open door, the light
of the room, and streaming out into the dimly lit hallway. They exchanged glances before hurrying down
the hall.
"No! Let me go! Heero!"
A loud bang heralded the exit of a guard who hit the door
before falling out into the hall. Trowa
looked into the room. He couldn't see
much except for a small Asian nurse with a syringe and two other guards who
were pressing in on the boy. His eyes
were cold and calculating and he was blocking any attempt of the guards to grab
him. He was, however trapped and
presently they both threw their bulk at him and he was pinned. He fought angrily with the guards and though
he was much smaller than the two men, either of whom could easily get a second
job as a bouncer, they were having trouble holding the wild boy. Trowa slipped into the room.
"What's going on here?"
He asked, but his quiet voice was drowned out by the noise in the room
as the orderlies cursed at each strike from the small limbs as they held him
with the small nurse yelling as well.
The blond struggled angrily, looking absolutely feral and
Trowa wondered if he would do something drastic. However as the boy's eyes looked up and realized that Trowa was
there, they changed. Suddenly they were
filled with fear. He lunged forward,
reaching for Trowa before the guards pushed him back. Trowa felt a cold hand brush his arm before Quatre was pushed
against the wall.
"Trowa!" Quatre
cried. "Make them stop! I'll be good, just don't let her!" His eyes traveled fearfully to the nurse
that held the syringe.
Trowa stepped forward to help, but a firm hand grabbed his
thin arm and he looked back to see the orderly that had been thrown out
earlier. He used his other hand, trying
to pry the large man off him.
"Let go of me!" He
shouted, pulling away, but by the time he turned to Quatre, the nurse was
done. Quatre hung, limp and shivering
in the arms of the orderlies.
"No. Heero. Wufei."
He pleaded in a defeated voice.
"What is going on here?"
A woman's voice cut through the mêlée.
A strong voice.
Nurse Une strode in, towering over the small woman and
grabbing the hand that held the syringe.
"What are you doing?"
"He won take medicine."
She squeaked, pulling away. "So
I give him something to make him calm down."
"Damn it!" Trowa
heard the tall nurse curse under her breath.
She looked up at Trowa. "You
there! New boy!"
Trowa almost backed up in surprise.
"Take over here and put the patient to bed." She commanded in a voice that frankly scared
the hell out of Trowa. "As for the 4 of
you, we will discuss this in my office.
"You do NOT treat my patients this way.
I don't care what you did where you worked before, but you don't do it
here." She almost hissed.
They filed out of the room, the orderlies lowering the
patient to the bed. The blond let out a
whimper, staring at his hands and sliding off the bed to the floor. He huddled there on his knees shaking.
As the door closed behind him, Trowa rushed forward.
"Let me help you."
Trowa bodily lifted the moaning boy back onto the bed, leaning over and
laying Quatre down on the mattress. As
he pulled away, a hand clutched at his wrist.
"Trowa." It was very
obviously Quatre's voice. "Please don't
go.
"I'm not going anywhere."
He whispered, moving closer to the boy, who seemed to have a hard time
focusing his fearful blue eyes on anything.
"Trowa I hate it. I
hate it." He mewled, clutching at
Trowa's hand painfully. "When they make
us take the drugs, I… I feel like I'm dying inside."
Trowa felt helpless.
"You're not dying you're fine."
Quatre shook his head miserably, loosing his thread of
thought. "Trowa… Trowa, where are Heero
and Wufei?"
Trowa suppressed the small bit of alarm that rose within him
at the question.
"I don't know Quatre."
Quatre shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. "No!
Where are they? Please?"
Trowa hugged the frantic boy.
"I'm sorry Quatre, I don't know."
"You can't! You
can't let them go. You can't."
He wasn't making any sense.
All Trowa could do was "shh" the boy and hold his hand, stroking a hand
on the sweat kissed neck.
"Shh Quatre. It's
ok. It'll be ok."
"No." The voice was
tiny now as the blonde's eyes closed, his body succumbing to the drugs
finally. "Bring them back." The voice was barely audible, but Trowa
heard it and something pulled in his chest.
None of this was right.
He continued to hold the limp hand in his own as he ran his
fingers through Quatre's hair. The door
opened and nurse Une came in with Hilde.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Barton."
Une said in a meek voice. "If
there had been anyone else…"
"It's ok." He stood
up, disentangling himself with the unconscious boy. "Is he going to be Ok?"
"Yes." She
whispered. "It has happened before,
though not too often. He'll be moody
though. It might be good to have a
friend around for a while?" She looked
at him hopefully.
"I can't tomorrow."
He regretted. "I promised my
sister I would work with her… but maybe Sunday."
"I'll be here tomorrow."
Hilde offered.
"Thank you both."
Une said gratefully. "I have a
report to write now, but I'll be here until morning, so Hilde, you can take
over then.
Hilde nodded. "All
right Miss Une." The nurse hugged her
silently and walked out.
"Should we go?"
Hilde asked softly.
Trowa watched the blond shift uncomfortably in his sleep.
"Can I have a minute?"
He asked.
"I'll warm the car up and meet you out front then."
After Hilde left, Trowa approached the bed. He reached out, almost afraid to touch the
sick boy. He kneeled down and undid the
buttons of the black silk shirt. Then,
he pulled the sleeves of the garment off limp arms and, gathering the blond to
his chest, he removed the shirt and lay Quatre back down. Small wrinkles of
discern creased the pale brow underneath damp blond bangs.
"No Mama." Trowa
barely heard it, but he saw Quatre's lips move and a hand twitch.
"No. Mama, get
off! You're hurting. Why?"
Amazed and a little startled, Trowa got closer, but did not
touch the dreaming boy. He gasped. Quatre was crying.
"No. Mama please. Get off.
You're hurting! You're
hurting!" Quatre thrashed violently for
a moment before slipping back into a relaxed, drugged slumber. Trowa could only look on silently, a look of
horror thankfully drowned out by the shadows.
He turned and left the room quickly.
