Come Undone
Chapter Two
Relative copyrights and disclaimers apply. I DO want a Sanzo of my own, though.
-------
Gojyo stood up and walked slowly over to the bathroom. He could see the silhouette of Hakkai from behind the blue frosted curtains as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
He was so engrossed in his thoughts that it took a couple of seconds to realize that the arms around his waist weren't his. He could feel warmth seeping through his slick body, but it certainly wasn't from the water.
"Go...Gojyo! What are you doing!?"
"I'm not sure myself..." He whispered into Hakkai's ear as his hands moved across his body.
"Let go of me!" He cried as he was forced against the wall, his arms bent against the wall.
"I won't...not this time..."
"Stop it! Please!" His voice was strained, almost to the edge of tears. Even more so because he could feeling his body begin to respond.
His only answer was a trail of kisses down his neck.
"Don't...please...!" Tears had forced themselves out of his eyes as his arms tried desperately to dislodge himself.
"Hakkai...I think...I love you..." Another whisper.
"NO!"
Gojyo stepped back as Hakkai whirled around to face him.
"I don't...Gojyo. If this is your idea of a joke it isn't funny...!"
"I'm not joking. I do..."
"No. No no no no no. You can't be."
"Hakkai...I-"
"If you do, I don't. Certainly." Hakkai cut him off, "It's not...right...and besides...I..."
"You love someone else, don't you?"
"How did you..."
"It's always like this...isn't it?
"What do you want me to do!?" Hakkai screamed as he wrapped a towel around his waist, "You can't force me to love you!"
A stony silence ensued for what seemed like an eternity, mere seconds passing by, each lasting an equivalent of a lifetime.
"Naze..." Water streamed down his flaming scarlet hair in crystalline rivers, mixing with his tears as they flowed down his face. He collapsed onto his knees on the cold navy enamel floor of the bathroom and began to sob quietly, his eyes large and strangely, eerily dark.
The shower was still running. The water like the rain. Frozen, unfeeling, as it slammed down onto the two bodies, continuing its journey with gravity without a care.
Even outside, the sun sent its golden fingers over the world, and the birds began to chorus.
Hakkai knelt down, his forelock plastered over his eyes, those clear reflective jewels.
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...lash out at you like that..." He stuttered as he triend to lay a hand on his weeping comrade's shoulder.
Gojyo shrank away, pressing himself up against the white tiled walls. He was so cold, so, so cold, and he simply wanted a ray of warmth more than anything else. Hakkai was his sun, the only reason why he took everything as it came: Sanzo's threats, Goku's consistent whining...
"What! What do you want me to do!? YOU can't force myself to love you!" Hakkai cried out in dismay, "I...I can't force myself either..."
It came out softly, almost inaudibly.
"Hakkai...just one chance...only one..." He raised a tired, pained face to Hakkai's fed-up expression, "Onegai...just one...I'll do anything..."
"I...I don't know..." He turned away, hurling yet another shower of frozen rain cascading upon him.
"Onegai...please...just let me prove to you that...that I..."
"I can't."
Sapped of all emotional strength, Gojyo tried to stand, his hands braced against the slippery walls for support. He never knew when his legs had felt so weak, so uncooperative.
There was only one other time that he had felt this helpless, this desolate...this alone.
Hakkai reached out an arm to hold him as Gojyo swayed slightly, his feet somehow trading places with his hands, or so it seemed.
"Let go of me." He spat at Hakkai, wrenching his arm away. Stalking to the doorway, he left little puddles of water on the floor as he stepped, drenched, out and away to his room.
"Gojyo...!" Hakkai ran up to him, wrapping a grey terry towel around him.
"I didn't know you cared."
"Don't be so stupid!"
"Oh, so now I'm evil, AND stupid, eh?" He glared daggers as he towelled himself relatively dry and strode angrily out the doorway, "don't bother waiting for me."
-------
It may have been early morning, but already the village was teeming with life. Each stall bustled with activity as old ladies claimed to have the freshest fruit, children bought sweets and colourful candies and other edibles. All you needed was a few coppers to make your stomach as happy as a rich man's.
The almost sickening aura of happiness annoyed Gojyo immensely. He fumbled in his pocket and felt for a few coins. He didn't have enough for his cigarettes.
A rude word escaped his lips with a lot more force and brutality than normal. The stallholder took a rapid glance at his shakujou.
He had his cigarettes now. Sticking the cancer stick into his mouth, he lighted it, the silver smoke trailing around his head like a sick parody of a fallen angel's halo before dissipating.
'I never thought I'd end up like this again...' He thought miserably to himself, feeling out of place in the joyousness that exuded from everywhere, 'I give my heart to someone, and it always ends up being broken.'
'Then why did I even decide to love you? Was I blind? Do you know that when I took that step to loving you, I cried every night, hoping so hard that you'd love me back. I wanted to be the one to hold you, to protect you, to tell you that everything was all right.'
'I wanted to be the one you loved. The one you'd turn to, the one you'd hold, the one you'd protect and tell that everything was all right.'
'Why can't I? Why do you love someone else? Or is it because you can't forget Kanna? Let me help you forget, and start over. I know what's behind the smile...'
'But it seems that the gods are playing a game with me.'
'Well, damn you.' Thoughts streamed throughout his consciousness as he absent-mindedly stopped at stalls for a stick of caramelised honey, or a small jade pendant. Anything to distract him for a few seconds was worth it.
'At least whores don't play you one.' He moved towards a brothel. The sky was slightly darkening, a faint tinge of blue caressing the golden sky.
-------
The night sky was dotted with flaming stars and the still-full moon. Mirrored in the village were the lighted kerosene lamps of the late stalls. Through the window, Hakkai could spot the lone villager browsing around, the couple buying each other flowers, the children playing the hastily set-up games.
And the door suddenly slammed open, and the stench of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke hit him with the force of a sledgehammer as Gojyo staggered in, obviously stoned drunk.
"Gojyo! You're back!" Hakkai rushed from his vantage point to guide him to a chair, "Oh gods, you're drunk! Have you been visiting the brothel again...?"
"So what if I have? At least...they...don't play you-!!" He retched a little.
"It isn't safe..."
"You give a damn for my welfare?"
"You could get hurt..." Hakkai heart stung at the last comment.
Gojyo stared at the finely ingrained texture of the mahogany table.
"Sanzo's the one you love, isn't he?" He choked out the question as his fist clenched tightly, almost tightly enough to draw blood.
"How...?" Hakkai blushed furiously as his eyes widened.
"I've seen the way you look at him...the way you treat him...and of course, today I had a lot of time of to speculate."
His fist crashed down onto the table. Everyone else was asleep, and the sound resonated through the silence.
"You'll hurt yourself! I didn't wait for you for nothing!" Hakkai grabbed his fist.
"Hn...why should you care? Shouldn't you be with the corrupt monk screwing each other like crazy about now!?"
"Gojyo! It wasn't what I meant!" He tightened his grip.
"LET GO!"
Hakkai forcefully grabbed him by the shoulders and violently shook him.
"Sha Gojyo! You...you know that...that wasn't what I meant..."
He was stunned.
"You know it wasn't..." He lowered his gaze to the floor.
"Then what did you mean by that? Just what?"
"I...I..."
"You fucking what?"
"Don't know myself...I mean...I do love him...but he doesn't..."
"Hn, don't give me that shit!"
"It's difficult for me too, OK!"
"THEN WHAT ABOUT ME!?" Gojyo's voice rose to a tremulous crescendo.
Hakkai fell to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."
"I'm sure."
"It's not because I...I...but...I'm being unrecipocrated myself..."
"Then...why can't you give me a chance? You might end up loving me for all you know..."
"I..." He raised his eyes, "Don't know...I'm confused! PLEASE!"
He quickly stood and began to run.
The last thing he heard was an anguished voice crying out his name as his footsteps echoed down the seemingly endless corridoors.
'How could you love me...when you knew I loved him? From the very start?"
-Owari Chapter Two-
Pity FF.net removed the NC-17 rating, or we would have seen a lot more in the beginning. Well, there's a scene with Sanzo in a later chapter. I think chapter 4, if I remember correctly.
Chapter Two
Relative copyrights and disclaimers apply. I DO want a Sanzo of my own, though.
-------
Gojyo stood up and walked slowly over to the bathroom. He could see the silhouette of Hakkai from behind the blue frosted curtains as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
He was so engrossed in his thoughts that it took a couple of seconds to realize that the arms around his waist weren't his. He could feel warmth seeping through his slick body, but it certainly wasn't from the water.
"Go...Gojyo! What are you doing!?"
"I'm not sure myself..." He whispered into Hakkai's ear as his hands moved across his body.
"Let go of me!" He cried as he was forced against the wall, his arms bent against the wall.
"I won't...not this time..."
"Stop it! Please!" His voice was strained, almost to the edge of tears. Even more so because he could feeling his body begin to respond.
His only answer was a trail of kisses down his neck.
"Don't...please...!" Tears had forced themselves out of his eyes as his arms tried desperately to dislodge himself.
"Hakkai...I think...I love you..." Another whisper.
"NO!"
Gojyo stepped back as Hakkai whirled around to face him.
"I don't...Gojyo. If this is your idea of a joke it isn't funny...!"
"I'm not joking. I do..."
"No. No no no no no. You can't be."
"Hakkai...I-"
"If you do, I don't. Certainly." Hakkai cut him off, "It's not...right...and besides...I..."
"You love someone else, don't you?"
"How did you..."
"It's always like this...isn't it?
"What do you want me to do!?" Hakkai screamed as he wrapped a towel around his waist, "You can't force me to love you!"
A stony silence ensued for what seemed like an eternity, mere seconds passing by, each lasting an equivalent of a lifetime.
"Naze..." Water streamed down his flaming scarlet hair in crystalline rivers, mixing with his tears as they flowed down his face. He collapsed onto his knees on the cold navy enamel floor of the bathroom and began to sob quietly, his eyes large and strangely, eerily dark.
The shower was still running. The water like the rain. Frozen, unfeeling, as it slammed down onto the two bodies, continuing its journey with gravity without a care.
Even outside, the sun sent its golden fingers over the world, and the birds began to chorus.
Hakkai knelt down, his forelock plastered over his eyes, those clear reflective jewels.
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...lash out at you like that..." He stuttered as he triend to lay a hand on his weeping comrade's shoulder.
Gojyo shrank away, pressing himself up against the white tiled walls. He was so cold, so, so cold, and he simply wanted a ray of warmth more than anything else. Hakkai was his sun, the only reason why he took everything as it came: Sanzo's threats, Goku's consistent whining...
"What! What do you want me to do!? YOU can't force myself to love you!" Hakkai cried out in dismay, "I...I can't force myself either..."
It came out softly, almost inaudibly.
"Hakkai...just one chance...only one..." He raised a tired, pained face to Hakkai's fed-up expression, "Onegai...just one...I'll do anything..."
"I...I don't know..." He turned away, hurling yet another shower of frozen rain cascading upon him.
"Onegai...please...just let me prove to you that...that I..."
"I can't."
Sapped of all emotional strength, Gojyo tried to stand, his hands braced against the slippery walls for support. He never knew when his legs had felt so weak, so uncooperative.
There was only one other time that he had felt this helpless, this desolate...this alone.
Hakkai reached out an arm to hold him as Gojyo swayed slightly, his feet somehow trading places with his hands, or so it seemed.
"Let go of me." He spat at Hakkai, wrenching his arm away. Stalking to the doorway, he left little puddles of water on the floor as he stepped, drenched, out and away to his room.
"Gojyo...!" Hakkai ran up to him, wrapping a grey terry towel around him.
"I didn't know you cared."
"Don't be so stupid!"
"Oh, so now I'm evil, AND stupid, eh?" He glared daggers as he towelled himself relatively dry and strode angrily out the doorway, "don't bother waiting for me."
-------
It may have been early morning, but already the village was teeming with life. Each stall bustled with activity as old ladies claimed to have the freshest fruit, children bought sweets and colourful candies and other edibles. All you needed was a few coppers to make your stomach as happy as a rich man's.
The almost sickening aura of happiness annoyed Gojyo immensely. He fumbled in his pocket and felt for a few coins. He didn't have enough for his cigarettes.
A rude word escaped his lips with a lot more force and brutality than normal. The stallholder took a rapid glance at his shakujou.
He had his cigarettes now. Sticking the cancer stick into his mouth, he lighted it, the silver smoke trailing around his head like a sick parody of a fallen angel's halo before dissipating.
'I never thought I'd end up like this again...' He thought miserably to himself, feeling out of place in the joyousness that exuded from everywhere, 'I give my heart to someone, and it always ends up being broken.'
'Then why did I even decide to love you? Was I blind? Do you know that when I took that step to loving you, I cried every night, hoping so hard that you'd love me back. I wanted to be the one to hold you, to protect you, to tell you that everything was all right.'
'I wanted to be the one you loved. The one you'd turn to, the one you'd hold, the one you'd protect and tell that everything was all right.'
'Why can't I? Why do you love someone else? Or is it because you can't forget Kanna? Let me help you forget, and start over. I know what's behind the smile...'
'But it seems that the gods are playing a game with me.'
'Well, damn you.' Thoughts streamed throughout his consciousness as he absent-mindedly stopped at stalls for a stick of caramelised honey, or a small jade pendant. Anything to distract him for a few seconds was worth it.
'At least whores don't play you one.' He moved towards a brothel. The sky was slightly darkening, a faint tinge of blue caressing the golden sky.
-------
The night sky was dotted with flaming stars and the still-full moon. Mirrored in the village were the lighted kerosene lamps of the late stalls. Through the window, Hakkai could spot the lone villager browsing around, the couple buying each other flowers, the children playing the hastily set-up games.
And the door suddenly slammed open, and the stench of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke hit him with the force of a sledgehammer as Gojyo staggered in, obviously stoned drunk.
"Gojyo! You're back!" Hakkai rushed from his vantage point to guide him to a chair, "Oh gods, you're drunk! Have you been visiting the brothel again...?"
"So what if I have? At least...they...don't play you-!!" He retched a little.
"It isn't safe..."
"You give a damn for my welfare?"
"You could get hurt..." Hakkai heart stung at the last comment.
Gojyo stared at the finely ingrained texture of the mahogany table.
"Sanzo's the one you love, isn't he?" He choked out the question as his fist clenched tightly, almost tightly enough to draw blood.
"How...?" Hakkai blushed furiously as his eyes widened.
"I've seen the way you look at him...the way you treat him...and of course, today I had a lot of time of to speculate."
His fist crashed down onto the table. Everyone else was asleep, and the sound resonated through the silence.
"You'll hurt yourself! I didn't wait for you for nothing!" Hakkai grabbed his fist.
"Hn...why should you care? Shouldn't you be with the corrupt monk screwing each other like crazy about now!?"
"Gojyo! It wasn't what I meant!" He tightened his grip.
"LET GO!"
Hakkai forcefully grabbed him by the shoulders and violently shook him.
"Sha Gojyo! You...you know that...that wasn't what I meant..."
He was stunned.
"You know it wasn't..." He lowered his gaze to the floor.
"Then what did you mean by that? Just what?"
"I...I..."
"You fucking what?"
"Don't know myself...I mean...I do love him...but he doesn't..."
"Hn, don't give me that shit!"
"It's difficult for me too, OK!"
"THEN WHAT ABOUT ME!?" Gojyo's voice rose to a tremulous crescendo.
Hakkai fell to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."
"I'm sure."
"It's not because I...I...but...I'm being unrecipocrated myself..."
"Then...why can't you give me a chance? You might end up loving me for all you know..."
"I..." He raised his eyes, "Don't know...I'm confused! PLEASE!"
He quickly stood and began to run.
The last thing he heard was an anguished voice crying out his name as his footsteps echoed down the seemingly endless corridoors.
'How could you love me...when you knew I loved him? From the very start?"
-Owari Chapter Two-
Pity FF.net removed the NC-17 rating, or we would have seen a lot more in the beginning. Well, there's a scene with Sanzo in a later chapter. I think chapter 4, if I remember correctly.