I turned to Trish, slightly surprised by her abrupt entrance into the locker room, and tried to play innocent. "Chris?"
"Yeah, he said he was walking down the hall and someone opened a door in front of him," she smiled as if she was trying to not laugh. "He's got a huge shiner."
"Is that what he said?" I asked instinctively, not thinking. Trish didn't seem to notice, however, she was digging through her bag with her back to me.
"Yeah," she answered with a laugh. "Couldn't have happened to a better person, I say."
I smiled to myself as well and finished up getting ready. Trish and I were pretty close, so she knew how I felt about Chris - both positive and negative. I hadn't told her about last night, but she had definite opinions. She respected the fact that I was crushing on him - despite his newfound homophobic sentiments regarding Matt - but she hated how he led me on. She tried to not insult him openly in front of me often, but if she got a chance, she took it. I finished tying my shoe and headed for the door. "I'm going to go see if I can get some ring time and warm up. I'll see you around."
"Later, sweetie," Trish called after me as I left. Stepping out into the hall, I tried to get my bearings. I was pretty sure the quickest way to the stairs was to the left, so I headed in that direction. After walking about ten feet, I found myself in a dead end with a door in front of me. I had a bad habit of getting lost easily in these places, so I just hoped that this door was the stairwell. I tested the door cautiously, and smiled when I found myself at the top of a flight of stairs. I jogged down quickly and ran into a door at the bottom. Literally ran into. I was expecting it to open, but it didn't. I tried the knob, but it didn't budge. Wrong stairwell, I guess. I climbed up the stairs to where I had come in and tried that door. Locked.
"Shit," I cursed, through clenched teeth. "Goddamned one way locking doors..."
Dropping all pretenses of being collected, I started pounding on the door and screaming bloody murder. I stopped screaming for a moment to catch my breath, and at that very instant, the door opened. Unfortunately, it was opened by the Ayatollah himself, black eye and all. I froze.
"Whoa," he started putting up his hands defensively. "Easy there, Red."
I just glared at him and dropped my fist to my side. "Thanks."
"Thanks for what?" he asked, stepping into the stairwell and letting go of the door. My eyes jumped open and I dove past him to catch the door, but it fell shut too soon. I sighed again, then let my forehead fall against the door.
"I was going to say thanks for opening the door," I muttered. "But nevermind."
Chris wrinkled his brow at me, then tried the door himself. I backed out of the way as he tested it gently, then when he realized why I'd been pounding on the door, his eyes jumped open and he started pounding on the door as well. I stepped back and watched him with a bored look. It wasn't as if he was trying to make noise and get attention, I think he was trying to knock the door down. Riiiight. After a second, he took a step back and tried ramming the door shoulder first. The door didn't go anywhere, but he fell back against a wall with a grimace and holding his shoulder.
"Chris?"
He held up a finger as if to tell me to wait a minute, so I bounced on the balls of my feet for a moment, watching him with a smirk. After a couple deep breaths, he finally let go of his shoulder and looked at me. "The door at the bottom is locked?"
I wrinkled my nose and nodded. "Yeah."
"Well you seem awfully upbeat, all things considered," he sneered at me.
"I just think it's funny that you heard me pounding on the door and assumed I had a way out."
"Pounding on the door?" he asked, looking confused. That stopped my bouncing.
"You didn't hear me?"
"No."
"Then why did you open the door?"
"To go downstairs?" he asked rhetorically.
"That means we're stuck here until some other moron tries to use these stairs?"
"Congratulations, Sherlock," he mimicked me. "Figure that out yourself of did you have to -"
I snapped my eyes to him, glaring. "Why the hell would you go out of your way to piss me off right now?"
"What are you going to do," he fired back, "give me another black eye?"
"Just say the word, jerky," I baited him, cocking my fist back already.
"Nice and original, Red," he narrowed his eyes at me. "I guess you can either talk trash or be trash - not both."
"Well, that was the word," I snapped, taking a swing. He blocked my swing and spun me around until he had my back against him and he had my wrists. I struggled for a moment, then instictively crouched down and lifted his weight onto my back judo-style and twisted to drop him on the ground. He let go of me, surprised, and took the fall. When I realized what I had done, I gasped and knelt down next to him. He had hit the concrete pretty hard and was wincing, still laid out. "Oh my god, are you ok?"
"The last thing I need is your help," he muttered, turning away from me and sitting up. He put his hand on the back of his head and groaned. I bit my lip with a frown.
"I'm sorry, it was instinct..."
"Instinct. That's some instinct you got there - injuring me every time you see me."
"Oh, don't play innocent," I sneered, my maternal instincts vanishing rapidly. I got to my feet and crossing my arms over my chest. "You're the one calling me trash and talking shit about Matt."
He gave me a dirty look, then shuffled around so he could sit on the ground and lean against the wall. "Well, I would ask why you're so damn protective of Matt, but I guess I already know."
I narrowed my eyes and glared down at him. "What do you know about what Matt?"
"Well, you pretty much told me I was dead on last night when you clocked me. Am I missing something?"
"I hit you because of what you were implying -"
"Well, that and Jeff told me."
"Shit," I swore under my breath, turning away from him.
"Seriously," he said, "think about it. You guys aren't in a relationship or anything. So what is it? Are you using him 'cause he's good in bed or vice - gah!"
Chris cut off abruptly and cried out in pain when I grabbed him by the ear. I leaned over in front of him and spoke sternly. "Listen to me. Matt is very special to me, and if you try and insult either him, his sexuality, or me any further, I'm going to add more to your laundry list of injuries from me."
Chris scowled at me and knocked my hand away. "Damn, Red, and I thought we were friends."
"Friends? What kind of friend says..." I straightened up and drew in a self-righteous breath just thinking about it, "what you said about me last night?"
"I just don't understand how you can sleep with him day in and day out if you don't love him," Chris shrugged.
"What do you mean, I don't love him? I do love Matt! Matt is the only man I've ever loved. He's my best friend, he's never let me down," I cast a peripheral glance to Chris, "or led me on. He has been there for me since the first day I met him, and never expected anything from me. He is the most caring person I've ever met - and how dare you even say that I don't love him."
"God," Chris rolled his eyes. "Get off your soapbox. You know what I mean. If you two love each other, why aren't you in a relationship?"
"I.." I looked down at him again, surprised. Somehow, while trying to think of an answer, I ended up sinking to the ground, sitting on the top step with my back to Chris. Finally I answered, with resignation, "I don't know. We tried it once, but it didn't work."
"Because of you or him?"
I hesitated, remembering how upset I'd been when Matt originally suggested our break up. My voice waivered as I answered, "Both of us..."
"For some reason I don't believe that."
"Oh, what do you know?" I sneered.
"I know love when I see it," he muttered.
"Hmph," I sighed. "I don't believe in love."
Chris rolled his eyes. "How can you love Matt and not believe in love?"
"That's two different kinds of love. Matt's different."
"Bullshit, Amy."
I looked over my shoulder at him quickly. He'd never called me Amy before. "What?"
"I said that's bullshit, Red. Love is love, and if you can love Matt as a friend, you can love other people. Or are you just so afraid of the real world that you're using Matt as a buffer so you don't have to ever really feel anything? I mean, I never imagined you to be the type that would hide behind someone to avoid new experiences..."
I sat there in shock for a moment, uncertain of how to respond to that. Something in the back of my mind told me that he was hitting too close to home, and I finally snapped. "Why are you so goddamned concerned about my love life? Shouldn't you be asking about Trish right about now?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I stopped. Shit. I stood up and whispered, "Nothing."
"Why should I be asking about Trish?" he asked again, getting to his feet as well.
"'Cause you always ask about Trish," I sighed, shrugging. There was a silence for a while, and I took a couple steps down to put some distance between me and Chris. What the hell was this emotion that was trying to overwhelm me? Chris had proved himself to be the prick I knew he was and then some! How was he getting to me like this? Was I still in... Was I still crushing on him? I bit my lip again and examined the ground nervously, praying these butterflies would pass. There was silence for a moment, then I heard Chris coming down the flight of stairs to the landing in the middle.
"And what if Matt falls in love with someone else?" he pressed. His voice wasn't mocking or cruel, he sounded genuinely concerned. "Will that hurt you?"
I turned to find him much closer than I expected him to be. I looked dead into those bright blue eyes as my vision blurred with tears. Goddammit, Amy, don't let him do this to you.
"No," I breathed, shakily. Then swallowed to regain some composure. "He was trying to hook up with Adam for the past three months, it doesn't matter to me. It's not like I need it, we're just having fun."
Chris just watched me, a frown tugging at his lips. I tried to break eye contact with him - I didn't want him to see me cry - but couldn't bring myself to do it. Why was I doing this? What was wrong with me? When the first tear fell, Chris was right there to brush it away, leaning in and whispering, "Why are you crying?"
"Why are you doing this?" I snapped, pulling away from him.
"Doing what?"
"I'm not hurting Matt! He told me! He gets as much from me as I do from him."
"But he's hurting you - if you love him," Chris explained.
I stopped snivelling for a moment and examined my shoes. "He's not hurting me."
"Do you love him?" he asked me. I could tell from the tone in his voice he didn't mean friendship love, and I started to question my own motives. I turned away from him and he set a hand on my shoulder. "What if there was someone who wanted you to be more than 'friends with benefits' - but they were hesitant to approach you because they didn't understand your relationship with Matt?"
"No one knows about Matt and me except Jeff -" I stopped short when the realization hit me. "...and you."
At that, I looked over my shoulder and found that Chris, for possibly the first time I'd ever seen, was blushing. I scowled. "Oh, no, no, no..."
"What?" he looked up, confused.
"You aren't interested in me," I informed him as I turned on my heel and went back up the stairs. "You're always asking about Trish."
"Well, you aren't exactly the easiest person to hit on," he answered quickly, following right behind me.
"What?" I demanded, turning on him as I reached the top landing. He was right behind me and took a step backwards.
"I'll admit it - you're slightly intimidating, especially since I never knew if you were actually with Matt. And when I get nervous, I change the topic."
"To Trish?"
"Hey," he started to get angry, "sometimes I have a little trouble thinking straight around you, ok?"
I froze and let that register. "I'm not sure, but that might have been the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me."
Chris looked at me, confused. "And then when I'm thinking straight, I still don't understand you."
His eyes flashing down to my waist and he threw up his open hands to me quickly. "Please don't hit me again, I still won't defend myself."
I looked down to see what he was talking about and realized that my hands were clenching at my sides. I slowly relaxed my fingers. "So you don't like Trish?"
"She's a nice girl, but she doesn't have the same... fight that you do," Chris shrugged, and gestured to his face. "She's never decked me."
"That's not really a quality many guys look for in a girl."
"I deserved it."
"Yes, you did." A soft smile finally cracked my stoic look, and I sighed. "Why did you say that last night?"
"It's my nature, I guess," he sighed this time, turning away from me and sitting down on the top step. "I insult things I don't like. Sometimes I take it too far, I guess."
"So you don't have a problem with Matt?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and looking down at him.
"Well, sure I do. You love him - and that's a problem for me," he explained. "That and insane jealousy that he can be with you anytime he wants."
I considered that, and took a step down and sat next to Chris. "Why do you keep insisting that I love Matt?"
"You said you did."
"Not like that."
"Don't you?" he asked, looking me dead in the eye. I watched him for a moment, falling back into his blue eyes. How did he know me better than I knew myself? I do love Matt, don't I? He was always the one who tried to push things away - not me. But I loved Matt as a friend, right? It was Chris I wanted to be with ...right? Matt sure as hell didn't love me like that, he had moved on. And I had to move on, too. I closed my eyes and met Chris for a kiss. He was more than willing to participate as he put a hand on my back to pull me to him. I slid my hand down the side of his face and slowly brushed my lips over his before pulling away. When I opened my eyes, I felt a slight exhilaration at the fact that, for the first time in over a year, I didn't find warm chocolate colored eyes glittering back at me. Chris lifted his hand and gently brushed loose hair behind my ear. "I guess not."
I actually laughed, and he smiled back. This was the Chris that I liked, not that one who first came into the stairwell. Acting on instinct again, I closed my eyes and leaned into Chris once more. He met me for another gentle kiss. There was a lingering thought in my mind of Matt, but I reminded myself of how he broke up with me and was chasing after Adam, then reset my hand on the side of Chris's face, more concerned with the moment at hand. After a second, there was a ringing and I broke the kiss abruptly. He froze in place and his pocket rang again. I crossed my arms over my chest with a glare and he sheepishly retrieved the phone from his pocket.
"Hello?" He looked to me nervously, then back to the phone, dryly. "Yeah, and you have an impecible sense of timing, man.... Uh, could you come open the door down the hall from the women's locker room? ... yeah, thanks."
With that, he hung up quickly and examined the ground.
"You had a cell phone?!"
He didn't bother trying to respond, and within a second the door behind us opened. It did cross my mind how quickly that had happened but I didn't get a chance to ask about it when I saw who had opened the door. "Jeff?"
"Hey, Ames," he answered, looking almost as sheepish as Chris did. I stepped out into the hall as quick as I could, followed by Chris and Jeff. I turned on them quickly.
"You set this up?"
Chris held up his hands, helplessly. "I wanted a chance to apologize..."
"God!" I yelled, and nailed him with another punch. Jeff caught him as he fell back, and I glared at him. "And you were in on this?"
"Amy -"
"Don't talk to me," I snapped and spun on my heel, stomping off down the hall.