Ernie didn't even know where to start looking for Spam so he decided to ask Goodgulf, the all-knowing pothead.

As soon as Ernie walked onto Goodgulf's front door, he could see pot smoke coming from the windows and chimney. Ernie knocked on the door and Goodgulf opened the door and smoke came pouring out of the house. He was stoned beyond belief! After sitting with him for over 4 hours, trying to sober him up, Ernie finally asked Goodgulf,

"Where is Spam?"

Goodgulf looked confused.

"Sperm? I don't know any Sperm. Or do I? Or at least I haven't seen any in a long time, if you know what I mean."

Then, the black knights come storming into the little house and broke into song,

"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good…"

Then, with a flash of smoke, they spontaneously combusted right on the spot.

"Not sperm, SPAM."

"Oh ooh, of course, SPAM! I haven't seen him since that dragon *incident*."

"Do you know where he lives now? I tried looking for him inn Isenguard but he had escaped."

"Ah yes, but of course! If I'm not mistaken, I think he now resides in the Dung Heaps of Dungwood.

Ernie was overcome with disgust. Who in their right mind would live in a field of dung heaps?

"Well, thanks Goodgulf, I guess it's off to the Dung Heaps of Dungwood.