As Ernie trudged towards Dung Village, He wondered how he would find Spam.
Goodgulf had not only been high, but extremely vague as to where Dung
Village was located. "S'over thear.shomewhere s'all dong covered, and
shmells lick poopie," The very high Goodgulf had slurred out to Ernie.
After a few more steps, Ernie rounded a corner and found a sign that read:
"Beware of Fuzzles"! "What the *censored* is a *censored* fuzzle?" Ernie
wondered aloud. Little did he know how soon he would find out.
~*~IN DUNG VILLAGE, SPAM'S HOUSE~*~
Suddenly Spam hopped out of his dung-covered door, and onto the road before
a vast- army like- group of very deranged things. He began to talk to
Cheeto, formerly Frito, but now Cheeto for legal reasons. Cheeto stood
holding a clipboard before the vast gathering of deranged people and
creatures.
Cheeto: ARMY ROLE CALL!
Spam: HUZZAH! Now where's that stupid list?
As all the creatures began to make deranged noises, Ernie rounded a last corner of this paragraph. As Ernie looked A D R N O U He saw various deranged creatures: Salesmen, Orcs, Ring Wraiths, Lint-balls with teeth, Drag Queens..the list was endless!
Spam: Weapons? Cheeto: Check! As Spam yelled "weapons" Before Ernie's eyes, many sharp swords, toothpicks, bagged farts, and old sweaty socks appeared in a large pile. Suddenly, Elmo appears with some Star-Trek goggles that allow him to see on, playing with swords of various shapes and sizes. Only then does Ernie notice that Spam is dressed entirely in yellow.
Cheeto: Orcs? Spam: (glances around) Check! Orcs: (in Cheerleading outfits) Go bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-n-s! Cheeto: Banana flavored condoms in varying sizes? Spam: (point to a crate the size of several large Dragons) Check! Cheeto: Ring Wraiths? Spam: Absent! Where are those freaks? They were supposed to get here YESTERDAY! Cheeto: Just put up a wanted sign in the whorehouse, they'll probably show up within the hour. After all, even ring wraiths need to get some.it's legal now that the F.U.C.K. Bill has been signed. Cheeto: Drag Queens? Spam: Check! They're helping at THE HOUSE right now; they'll be back in a few. Cheeto: Right then! Cheeto: Backpacks full of useless stuff that looks interesting yet foreboding? Spam: Check! Suddenly all the deranged creatures found heavy backpacks full of useless yet foreboding stuff.even Ernie had a backpack!
Cheeto: Good! All we need now is moron stupid enough to carry the decoy ring, and risk his or her life for a lost cause! OOPS, I mean a kind and brave person who will be sweet enough to carry this important ring to my mother's mother in time for tea tomorrow!
Ernie suddenly jumped forward, "I'll do it!" He blurted out.
Spam look at him with faint shock, "Where'd you come from? I heard from Elmo that you were under house arrest for stalking big bird again!"
Ernie looked slight miffed but said, "It's not true, I was SO framed! But no matter, I am willing to help you for this noble cause!"
Spam and Cheeto looked at each other, then at Ernie, "The Jobs all yours!" they cried in unison.
As all the creatures began to make deranged noises, Ernie rounded a last corner of this paragraph. As Ernie looked A D R N O U He saw various deranged creatures: Salesmen, Orcs, Ring Wraiths, Lint-balls with teeth, Drag Queens..the list was endless!
Spam: Weapons? Cheeto: Check! As Spam yelled "weapons" Before Ernie's eyes, many sharp swords, toothpicks, bagged farts, and old sweaty socks appeared in a large pile. Suddenly, Elmo appears with some Star-Trek goggles that allow him to see on, playing with swords of various shapes and sizes. Only then does Ernie notice that Spam is dressed entirely in yellow.
Cheeto: Orcs? Spam: (glances around) Check! Orcs: (in Cheerleading outfits) Go bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-n-s! Cheeto: Banana flavored condoms in varying sizes? Spam: (point to a crate the size of several large Dragons) Check! Cheeto: Ring Wraiths? Spam: Absent! Where are those freaks? They were supposed to get here YESTERDAY! Cheeto: Just put up a wanted sign in the whorehouse, they'll probably show up within the hour. After all, even ring wraiths need to get some.it's legal now that the F.U.C.K. Bill has been signed. Cheeto: Drag Queens? Spam: Check! They're helping at THE HOUSE right now; they'll be back in a few. Cheeto: Right then! Cheeto: Backpacks full of useless stuff that looks interesting yet foreboding? Spam: Check! Suddenly all the deranged creatures found heavy backpacks full of useless yet foreboding stuff.even Ernie had a backpack!
Cheeto: Good! All we need now is moron stupid enough to carry the decoy ring, and risk his or her life for a lost cause! OOPS, I mean a kind and brave person who will be sweet enough to carry this important ring to my mother's mother in time for tea tomorrow!
Ernie suddenly jumped forward, "I'll do it!" He blurted out.
Spam look at him with faint shock, "Where'd you come from? I heard from Elmo that you were under house arrest for stalking big bird again!"
Ernie looked slight miffed but said, "It's not true, I was SO framed! But no matter, I am willing to help you for this noble cause!"
Spam and Cheeto looked at each other, then at Ernie, "The Jobs all yours!" they cried in unison.