Title: Densetsu
Author: Kalika
Genre: Song-fic
Rating: pg (slight swearing in the song lyrics)
Summary: Mamoru remembers Usagi, and the heartbreak between them.
Finding her again, he recalls why he loved her, and tries again for her affections.
AN: OOOOH! Angsty! Anyway, this fic is set to the song "Konstantine" by
Something Corporate. I think this is gonna be good. Usagi is 20, Mamoru
is 24 (yes, I know, I removed two years there, but deal with it, k?). What's
funny, is that I keep writing stand-alone's that could be chaptered if I wanted
to write that much again.
This is dedicated to everyone who has enjoyed my ficcies. I need some
inspiration on what to do with Walking Wounded, so I'm taking a bit of
a hiatus to write some more stand alones, and hopefully, my muse will
glomp me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, or "Konstantine". You all know who
does. So don't sue me, I haven't gotten a job yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mamoru glowered while sipping his coffee. Gazing around the arcade,
he could remember when it would be full of grade and high school students. His
own Third Year flashed before his eyes. Blonde hair accompanied his thoughts,
wispy and whimisical, like strands of living silk.
Once again, Mamoru glowered. He'd gotten good at that lately.
Something was missing.
She was missing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I wonder what happened to her," he mused to no one in particular.
"Whom?" a voice in front of him queried. By the discarded cloth next
to the large rough hands, Mamoru knew it was Motoki. Looking up, Mamoru
shook his head at the only friend he'd ever known. "Usagi," the name had left
his lips, unbidden.
"Tsukino Usagi? Oh, she sings. You know that Densetsu Cafe? She
sings there every week. Tonight she's singing. It's usually open mic. We should
go."
Mamoru gawked at his friend, jaw resting firmly on the counter. Finally,
he found the strength to form words around the tongue that had suddenly
commandeered his mouth in a swollen riot against his mind. (AN - ew)
"And why, dear Motoki, would we go the the cafe open mic night?" He
should have seen the answer coming.
So flippant, so nonchalant. "To perform."
It made sense, somehow, so Mamoru agreed and made plans to meet
with the rest of the band before going to the Densetsu.
~~~
Practice was uneventful. It mostly revolved around perfecting the song
they were to perform. (AN -Guess which song?!)
Mamoru had recently learned the entire piano accompanyment, and
that was the most stressful part. Playing piano and singing at the same time.
Finally, though, it was accomplished and fine-tuned, and the band was on their
way to the Densetsu.
After registering, they sat and ate a light dinner. For performers, drinks
and meals were on the house, so Yuuichirou took advantage of that. After all, he
was only on synthesizer. Usually, he played rhythm guitar, but this song called
for synth and it was a relatively easy part.
Around 8, the bartender came up. A well dressed brunette with green
eyes. Mamoru's mind tingled with momentary recognition and passed it off as
the red wine he had with dinner.
The amazon-like brunette began to speak. "Welcome to Densetsu
Cafe's Open Mic Night. As some of you know, we have a regular here at
the Densetsu, and she often opens the night. Here is Tsukino Usagi!"
Everyone yelled and applauded as the woman-child stepped up.
Mamoru noticed she had grown a bit since he'd last seen her. But there
was something else. Her hair! No longer known as Odango-Atama. She had
waist length hair, hanging in a loose plait resting over her shoulder. In her
arms, she carried an acoustic guitar and took her place on the stool at
center stage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I don't understand all the things you've seen,
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big....dreams.
It's always you and my big dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A strum resounded as the crowd went silent. She raised her head
and wove a tale of fairies in song. Her small hands found the chords easily
as her voice found it's notes. An angelic face framed by blonde webs of
golden spiders, blue eyes holding a secret long forgotten. She was more
than beautiful. She was impenitrable, impervious.
Her song soon ended, and Mamoru realized that she had found
his eyes and his breath had cought. With a small whoosh, he exhaled
finally, and shook the ghostly eyes from his memory. She had long vacated
the stage, he simply refused to stop staring at space she had inhabited.
A few other performers were called up. A poet, a comedienne,
and another band of rock musicians. Mamoru ignored all of them while
his head turned and eyes searched for her angelic profile.
Motoki tapped his shoulder and he jumped slightly. "We're up
next, so we need to ready the instruments." Mamoru nodded and followed
Motoki.
The brunette found her way back to the microphone and smiled
at the large audience. "Some great performers tonight, eh? Well, it's sure
to get better. Next up we have... well... I know them... haha. Furuhata
Motoki, Kumada Yuuichirou, and Chiba Mamoru are Liquid Blue. Give it
up!"
Loud applause resounded as Mamoru realized who the brunette
was. Kino Makoto. He took his seat at the piano bench and positioned the
microphone toward his mouth. He looked over to Motoki on percussion.
As Motoki nodded, Mamoru looked toward Yuuichirou. Nodding once
again, Mamoru began his song.
Fingers tumbled over the keys in preordained madness, creating
a melody of pain and affection. His song, in his heart since his oceans met
her skies.
"And you tell me that it's over.
I wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover.
And you're restless, and I'm naked.
You gotta get out, you can't stand to see me shaking...no.
Could you let me go?
I didn't think so."
His eyes closed as he sang, pain blurring his vision at the memory
of his discovery. The day he realized his love for the small porcelain doll of
a girl. The glass menagerie he wished he could protect, if even from his rough
words.
"And you don't want to be here in the future,
So you say the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past.
And you don't want to look much closer,
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had.....crashed,
And it did, because of me."
She shunned him that day. He lost all he had gained over the year
he known her. After she sat and cried over him, he avoided her. It was only
until he had passed out from lack of sleep and food that he found why she
had pushed him away.
"And then you bring me home,
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no.
And I'm sleeping in your living room.
We don't have much room....to live."
He found himself in her living room, unable to grasp where he was.
He deducted from the portraits of her family. 'You're awake,' she had said.
He remembered the smell of her hair as she leaned over him to touch a cold
cloth to his head. Her eyes held so much pain. She loved him, but could not
have him. 'It's called self-discipline through self-deprivation. I love you, yet if
I have you, I will give into everything I don't want. I'd lose everything.' Her voice
quiet, yet pounding in his ears.
"And I had these dreams that
I might learn to play guitar,
Maybe cross the country,
Become a rock star.
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there,
But dammit you're so young,
Well I don't think I care.
And if I hurt you, then I'm sorry,
Please don't think that this was easy."
His eyes opened as he looked into the crowd, still playing. He found
her eyes and lay his heart at her feet. His hopes, crushed once, reformed and
silently begged her to love him.
"And then you'd bring me home,
'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no.
And I'm dreaming in your living room
We don't have much room...to live."
She cried then. Silent tears flowed like tiny crystalline rivers down
eggshell cheeks. Her eyes showed love, pain, fear. She knew the truth. He
had never forgotten her, and she him. 'You're not my star,' she mouthed.
"And Konstantine is walking down the stairs.
Doesn't she look good standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking, and I was thinking
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere. "
He remembered the night he stayed. He had been up, drinking a bit,
and she wandered down in her flowered underwear and tanktop. Gorgeous.
She began drinking with him, and ended up crying over him as he left her house
and her life. So young, but her life had forced an adult of her. Her parents, dead.
Her unborn brother's grave stood like a monolith of where she wished she could be.
"My Konstantine came walking down the stairs.
And all that I could do was touch her long, blonde hair.
And I've been thinking, it hurts me thinking
That these nights when we were drinking,
No they never got me anywhere.....no."
She turned, then, and began walking to the bar. She nodded at Makoto
and handed her something. She turned back to Mamoru, gestured at Makoto, and
left. He should explain before she leaves. He eyed Makoto desperately, and the
girl stopped her friend, handing her a daiquiri.
"This is because I can spell
Konfusion with a K and I can like it,
It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it.
It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car.
When the first star you see may not be a star.
I'm not your......star,
Isn't that what you said?
What you thought this song meant?"
She gasped and turned. A shake of her blonde head and she ran out
the door. He turned back to the piano and sang as best he could.
"And if this is what it takes just to lie with mistakes
And live with what I did to you
And all the hell I put you through."
As they concluded the song, the applause they recieved won them a
permanent spot as an entertainer at the Densetsu.
~~~
Mamoru had asked Makoto what Usa had given her. She said nothing
but had handed him the napkin. An address. Her address. He gazed at the
digital clock in his car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always catch the clock, it's 11:11
And now you want to talk?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tentative knock and the door opened, revealing a rather inebriated
Usagi. "Mamoru." She opened the door wider and let him in. Even drunk, she
was his muse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's not hard to dream,
You'll always be my Konstantine.
My Konstantine......
They'll never hurt you like I do.
No, they'll never hurt you like I do,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sing me the end of the song? I know it. I've heard it, but I want you
to say it to me."
He complied and began his song, a capella.
"This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did.
Hey, you know, you keep me up in bed.
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these fucked up things I did.
Hey maybe, baby you could keep me up in bed,
My Konstantine.......
You spin around me like a dream,
We played out on this movie screen,
And I said did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
I miss you....."
He broke down, then, and fell at her feet. She kneeled and held his
arm. "Mamoru, I missed you." His head snapped up, and he gazed into her azure
depths. It was true. She smiled, then, and brought her lips closer to his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then you bring me home,
And we go to sleep, but this time not alone,
No, no and you'll kiss me in your living room,
Oh, no I know you miss me in your living room
Cause these nights I think maybe
That I missed you in my living room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The kiss, chaste and pure, exhilerated Mamoru and he sighed as she
broke it gently. Her small hands, the artful hands he loved, touched his face, then.
Fingers roamed over his lips, eyelids, cheekbones. She moved them to his hair
and kissed him again.
"I love you." His eyes did not lie. She buried her head in his shoulder
and shook a bit. A mumbled reply and she lifted her head, tears once again pouring
out the perfect imperfections that she embodied.
She laughed then, a sobbing type, and cried heavily. "I love you too, Mamoru."
Her sniffles subsided with time, as he held her and murmered inaudible
murmers in her hair, finally smelling the roses and vanilla beans from so long ago. A
scent he'd dreamed of. They fell asleep on the couch, and a smile crept into her
features for the first time in years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We don't have much room....
I said does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room....to live.
....My Konstantine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well? What did ya think? kalika26@excite.com
Author: Kalika
Genre: Song-fic
Rating: pg (slight swearing in the song lyrics)
Summary: Mamoru remembers Usagi, and the heartbreak between them.
Finding her again, he recalls why he loved her, and tries again for her affections.
AN: OOOOH! Angsty! Anyway, this fic is set to the song "Konstantine" by
Something Corporate. I think this is gonna be good. Usagi is 20, Mamoru
is 24 (yes, I know, I removed two years there, but deal with it, k?). What's
funny, is that I keep writing stand-alone's that could be chaptered if I wanted
to write that much again.
This is dedicated to everyone who has enjoyed my ficcies. I need some
inspiration on what to do with Walking Wounded, so I'm taking a bit of
a hiatus to write some more stand alones, and hopefully, my muse will
glomp me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, or "Konstantine". You all know who
does. So don't sue me, I haven't gotten a job yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mamoru glowered while sipping his coffee. Gazing around the arcade,
he could remember when it would be full of grade and high school students. His
own Third Year flashed before his eyes. Blonde hair accompanied his thoughts,
wispy and whimisical, like strands of living silk.
Once again, Mamoru glowered. He'd gotten good at that lately.
Something was missing.
She was missing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I wonder what happened to her," he mused to no one in particular.
"Whom?" a voice in front of him queried. By the discarded cloth next
to the large rough hands, Mamoru knew it was Motoki. Looking up, Mamoru
shook his head at the only friend he'd ever known. "Usagi," the name had left
his lips, unbidden.
"Tsukino Usagi? Oh, she sings. You know that Densetsu Cafe? She
sings there every week. Tonight she's singing. It's usually open mic. We should
go."
Mamoru gawked at his friend, jaw resting firmly on the counter. Finally,
he found the strength to form words around the tongue that had suddenly
commandeered his mouth in a swollen riot against his mind. (AN - ew)
"And why, dear Motoki, would we go the the cafe open mic night?" He
should have seen the answer coming.
So flippant, so nonchalant. "To perform."
It made sense, somehow, so Mamoru agreed and made plans to meet
with the rest of the band before going to the Densetsu.
~~~
Practice was uneventful. It mostly revolved around perfecting the song
they were to perform. (AN -Guess which song?!)
Mamoru had recently learned the entire piano accompanyment, and
that was the most stressful part. Playing piano and singing at the same time.
Finally, though, it was accomplished and fine-tuned, and the band was on their
way to the Densetsu.
After registering, they sat and ate a light dinner. For performers, drinks
and meals were on the house, so Yuuichirou took advantage of that. After all, he
was only on synthesizer. Usually, he played rhythm guitar, but this song called
for synth and it was a relatively easy part.
Around 8, the bartender came up. A well dressed brunette with green
eyes. Mamoru's mind tingled with momentary recognition and passed it off as
the red wine he had with dinner.
The amazon-like brunette began to speak. "Welcome to Densetsu
Cafe's Open Mic Night. As some of you know, we have a regular here at
the Densetsu, and she often opens the night. Here is Tsukino Usagi!"
Everyone yelled and applauded as the woman-child stepped up.
Mamoru noticed she had grown a bit since he'd last seen her. But there
was something else. Her hair! No longer known as Odango-Atama. She had
waist length hair, hanging in a loose plait resting over her shoulder. In her
arms, she carried an acoustic guitar and took her place on the stool at
center stage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I don't understand all the things you've seen,
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big....dreams.
It's always you and my big dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A strum resounded as the crowd went silent. She raised her head
and wove a tale of fairies in song. Her small hands found the chords easily
as her voice found it's notes. An angelic face framed by blonde webs of
golden spiders, blue eyes holding a secret long forgotten. She was more
than beautiful. She was impenitrable, impervious.
Her song soon ended, and Mamoru realized that she had found
his eyes and his breath had cought. With a small whoosh, he exhaled
finally, and shook the ghostly eyes from his memory. She had long vacated
the stage, he simply refused to stop staring at space she had inhabited.
A few other performers were called up. A poet, a comedienne,
and another band of rock musicians. Mamoru ignored all of them while
his head turned and eyes searched for her angelic profile.
Motoki tapped his shoulder and he jumped slightly. "We're up
next, so we need to ready the instruments." Mamoru nodded and followed
Motoki.
The brunette found her way back to the microphone and smiled
at the large audience. "Some great performers tonight, eh? Well, it's sure
to get better. Next up we have... well... I know them... haha. Furuhata
Motoki, Kumada Yuuichirou, and Chiba Mamoru are Liquid Blue. Give it
up!"
Loud applause resounded as Mamoru realized who the brunette
was. Kino Makoto. He took his seat at the piano bench and positioned the
microphone toward his mouth. He looked over to Motoki on percussion.
As Motoki nodded, Mamoru looked toward Yuuichirou. Nodding once
again, Mamoru began his song.
Fingers tumbled over the keys in preordained madness, creating
a melody of pain and affection. His song, in his heart since his oceans met
her skies.
"And you tell me that it's over.
I wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover.
And you're restless, and I'm naked.
You gotta get out, you can't stand to see me shaking...no.
Could you let me go?
I didn't think so."
His eyes closed as he sang, pain blurring his vision at the memory
of his discovery. The day he realized his love for the small porcelain doll of
a girl. The glass menagerie he wished he could protect, if even from his rough
words.
"And you don't want to be here in the future,
So you say the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past.
And you don't want to look much closer,
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had.....crashed,
And it did, because of me."
She shunned him that day. He lost all he had gained over the year
he known her. After she sat and cried over him, he avoided her. It was only
until he had passed out from lack of sleep and food that he found why she
had pushed him away.
"And then you bring me home,
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no.
And I'm sleeping in your living room.
We don't have much room....to live."
He found himself in her living room, unable to grasp where he was.
He deducted from the portraits of her family. 'You're awake,' she had said.
He remembered the smell of her hair as she leaned over him to touch a cold
cloth to his head. Her eyes held so much pain. She loved him, but could not
have him. 'It's called self-discipline through self-deprivation. I love you, yet if
I have you, I will give into everything I don't want. I'd lose everything.' Her voice
quiet, yet pounding in his ears.
"And I had these dreams that
I might learn to play guitar,
Maybe cross the country,
Become a rock star.
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there,
But dammit you're so young,
Well I don't think I care.
And if I hurt you, then I'm sorry,
Please don't think that this was easy."
His eyes opened as he looked into the crowd, still playing. He found
her eyes and lay his heart at her feet. His hopes, crushed once, reformed and
silently begged her to love him.
"And then you'd bring me home,
'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no.
And I'm dreaming in your living room
We don't have much room...to live."
She cried then. Silent tears flowed like tiny crystalline rivers down
eggshell cheeks. Her eyes showed love, pain, fear. She knew the truth. He
had never forgotten her, and she him. 'You're not my star,' she mouthed.
"And Konstantine is walking down the stairs.
Doesn't she look good standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking, and I was thinking
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere. "
He remembered the night he stayed. He had been up, drinking a bit,
and she wandered down in her flowered underwear and tanktop. Gorgeous.
She began drinking with him, and ended up crying over him as he left her house
and her life. So young, but her life had forced an adult of her. Her parents, dead.
Her unborn brother's grave stood like a monolith of where she wished she could be.
"My Konstantine came walking down the stairs.
And all that I could do was touch her long, blonde hair.
And I've been thinking, it hurts me thinking
That these nights when we were drinking,
No they never got me anywhere.....no."
She turned, then, and began walking to the bar. She nodded at Makoto
and handed her something. She turned back to Mamoru, gestured at Makoto, and
left. He should explain before she leaves. He eyed Makoto desperately, and the
girl stopped her friend, handing her a daiquiri.
"This is because I can spell
Konfusion with a K and I can like it,
It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it.
It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car.
When the first star you see may not be a star.
I'm not your......star,
Isn't that what you said?
What you thought this song meant?"
She gasped and turned. A shake of her blonde head and she ran out
the door. He turned back to the piano and sang as best he could.
"And if this is what it takes just to lie with mistakes
And live with what I did to you
And all the hell I put you through."
As they concluded the song, the applause they recieved won them a
permanent spot as an entertainer at the Densetsu.
~~~
Mamoru had asked Makoto what Usa had given her. She said nothing
but had handed him the napkin. An address. Her address. He gazed at the
digital clock in his car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always catch the clock, it's 11:11
And now you want to talk?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tentative knock and the door opened, revealing a rather inebriated
Usagi. "Mamoru." She opened the door wider and let him in. Even drunk, she
was his muse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's not hard to dream,
You'll always be my Konstantine.
My Konstantine......
They'll never hurt you like I do.
No, they'll never hurt you like I do,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sing me the end of the song? I know it. I've heard it, but I want you
to say it to me."
He complied and began his song, a capella.
"This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did.
Hey, you know, you keep me up in bed.
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these fucked up things I did.
Hey maybe, baby you could keep me up in bed,
My Konstantine.......
You spin around me like a dream,
We played out on this movie screen,
And I said did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
I miss you....."
He broke down, then, and fell at her feet. She kneeled and held his
arm. "Mamoru, I missed you." His head snapped up, and he gazed into her azure
depths. It was true. She smiled, then, and brought her lips closer to his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then you bring me home,
And we go to sleep, but this time not alone,
No, no and you'll kiss me in your living room,
Oh, no I know you miss me in your living room
Cause these nights I think maybe
That I missed you in my living room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The kiss, chaste and pure, exhilerated Mamoru and he sighed as she
broke it gently. Her small hands, the artful hands he loved, touched his face, then.
Fingers roamed over his lips, eyelids, cheekbones. She moved them to his hair
and kissed him again.
"I love you." His eyes did not lie. She buried her head in his shoulder
and shook a bit. A mumbled reply and she lifted her head, tears once again pouring
out the perfect imperfections that she embodied.
She laughed then, a sobbing type, and cried heavily. "I love you too, Mamoru."
Her sniffles subsided with time, as he held her and murmered inaudible
murmers in her hair, finally smelling the roses and vanilla beans from so long ago. A
scent he'd dreamed of. They fell asleep on the couch, and a smile crept into her
features for the first time in years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We don't have much room....
I said does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room....to live.
....My Konstantine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well? What did ya think? kalika26@excite.com