Christmas

By

Tayoni

CHARACTER LIST:  So, you can keep them straight, and I can too.

William Clark            Clark Kent's Gramp

Aunt Haydeen             William Clark's sister-in-law

Aunt Meagan              Aunt Haydeen's cousin

Little Stevie               Aunt Haydeen's grandson

All the rest of the Smallville characters should be familiar enough to you, so I won't list them.

Disclaimer:  Just having fun, and I'm not making no money off this, so why is this line necessary anyway?

Comedy/Drama/Tear jerker/Parody/Alternate Universe/Wrestling match/Heart to Heart yak/Messy meal/No FotW/Morality Play/NOT slash/Toilet humor/some gross content/I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of anything else, so I'll just shutup and tell the dam story.

Rated PG-13  (I hope I can get away with that, because there are some small references that made me almost give it an R.  There's no sex here, just some talk about it, and lots of stupidity.)

Summary:  Lex and Clark have dinner at Clark's grandfather's house.  I wrote this last season around Christmas, so kindly disregard the inconsistancy with the show itself.  Consider it an Alternate Universe if you like, cause the real writers of Smallville would never do anything like this.  They don't seem to want Clark to have more than a paperbag type of personality, and don't even let Lex laugh come to think of it.  Pity.  Show's far too serious.  Anyway, I was feeling all Christmasy and missing a good friend of mine, and this plot bunny invaded my day.

SMALLVILLE:  CHRISTMAS 

       Lex Luthor was thinking about his Christmas tree.  It was perfectly angled, and straight.  There were no lopsided branches, and none were missing.  The decorations were all color coordinated to blend in properly with the room.  The professional decorator he'd hired had seen to that.  The woman had even purchased some pine scented spray so that it would smell like a real tree.  He'd had nothing to do with the setup of his own tree.

       The three Kent's had gone out together to a Christmas Tree lot, and picked out a fat little pine tree, brought it home and set it up.  Most of the gaudy decorations on it had been hand made by Clark and Mrs. Kent, and the collection had accumulated through the years. 

       The strings of big colorfull blinking lights they owned were probably older than Clark.  Every bulb had been replaced at least three times.  There were silly things like walnut shells painted green or orange, animal crackers that had been shilacked.  One decoration was a Christmas tree shaped sugar cookie which Clark had taken a bite out of years ago before Mr. Kent had dipped it in shilac.  Lex thought the little bite mark was funny, because he couldn't picture Clark as a boy small enough to have made that mark.     There were paper things, and other items made out of some of Clark's old clothes.  They even had a little red sock that had belonged to their son and was now hung up over the fire place.  Just to be silly, Mrs. Kent had stuffed a lump of coal into it.

       The Kent's tree looked terrible because none of the decorations matched.  The tree was lopsided and already drying out, and needles were turning brown and falling off.  They'd have to get rid of the thing soon, Lex thought.

       It was the best looking Christmas tree he'd ever seen in his life.

       Little things like that always made Lex envious of his friend, but that was an emotion he tried hard to push aside and ignore.

       When Clark came along, still in his pajamas, Lex grinned and handed him a gift that was not only neatly wrapped, but perfectly wrapped, and the packaging had actually cost him more than the gift.

       Clark smiled toothily, and sat down on the floor and tore into it and let shreds of paper fly.  He was like a present unwrapping machine.  Lex marvelled at his ability to make such a mundane thing into such fun.  At last he pulled the bright red hooded and in-style sweatshirt out of the box.  His favorite team logo was on it.  He stared at it, blinked.

       Lex lifted his brows.  He'd thought Clark would like it.  His silence was disaspointing to say the least.

       "WOW!"  Clark exclaimed smiling from ear to ear.  "I GOT IT!  I GOT MY SWEATSHIRT!"  He said and shuddered because his voice squeaked.  He carried his sweatshirt to the couch and sat down next to Lex, and threw his arms around him.

       Lex startled and then laughed.

       "Shiney baldee head man, got me what I always wanted!"  He said and hugged him.

       "ClaAark!"  He complained.

       "Oh, sorry..."  He said and patted his head and hugged him harder.  "I didn't mean to insult the head."

       Lex couldn't help laughing and patted Clark's back and pushed him away.  "Okay, Okay.  I get the point you liked it."

       Clark smiled broadly at him and then right in front of him, pulled his pajama shirt off and put the sweatshirt on.  It was oversized, the way it was supposed to be.  "Awesome."  He said and petted one sleeve.

       Lex felt himself flushing, but he felt good too.  He'd never felt so good before after having given someone a gift.  Clark's reactions to gifts were wonderfull, especially when he got something that he'd been wanting to have, like that sweatshirt. 

       He'd spent a fortune on a single gift for his father, who'd looked at it and put it aside without so much as grinning a little bit.  Lex too had looked at the fourty thousand dollar peice of junk his father had bought for him, and wanted to toss it aside, but it was breakable.  He'd given it to his butler, and hardly cared where in his house the vase would go.  Dad had also bought him a new car, and a wardrobe worth of clothing.  Not that he'd use the car or ever wear any of the clothes.

       On the other hand, that sweatshirt had cost him less than he spent on coffee filters.  His friend was still fussing over his new gift, and he'd use it and take care of it...and even give it a name?  "You're gonna name your sweatshirt?"

       "Yeah, so my mom knows what I'm talking about when I can't find it."  He said.  "Mmmm...I'll call it Black."

       "It's red."  Lex told him.

       "Yeah, but I call my blue sweater Red."

       "Oh.  Okay."  Lex said and laughed.

       "Here, Lex."  Clark said, put a small present in his hands which looked like it'd been wrapped by a five year old.

       Lex looked at it, then looked at his friend who was grinning widely.  He smiled brightly, then copied his friend and shredded the wrapping paper letting peices of it fly into the air as was customary in the Kent house.  He got to a box, and then opened it, found a coffee mug, and he lifted it up, stared at the picture of an unshaven man with stinky waves floating over him, and his tongue hanging out, eyes blackened with sleep.  A poor dog was being ignored in the background.  "In the morning, Man's best friend is not his dog."  He turned it around and saw the image of a shining new cartoon man in a suit and tie kissing his coffee mug.  "Man's best friend is his coffee mug."  He laughed at the joke and gave Clark a friendly shove.  "Thanks man."

       Clark grinned brightly.

       Lex carried his coffee cup into the kitchen and helped himself to coffee which was still hot as Mrs. Kent had just fixed it.  She certainly made good coffee.  Clark joined him, but got soda out of the fridge instead.  "Never had anyone buy me one of these before."

       "You like it?"

       "Next to that t-shirt you gave me for my birthday, it's one of the nicest gifts I've ever gotten."
       "Really?"

       "Yeah."  He said.  "It's something I'll use."

       "I never seen you wear that t-shirt, Lex."  Clark said looking a bit hurt.

       "Actually, Clark, I've worn the thing out."  He grinned at him, and lifted his eight hundred dollar sweater with a Montria logo on it to show off a four dollar t-shirt with the image of a green monster flashing his middle finger.  The poor thing was faded and coming apart at the seams.  "There are only a few places I go where this would be acceptable."

       Clark laughed.  "True."

       "Here isn't one of them.  Your dad would throw me out on my ear."

       "Nah...he'd know I got it for you, and probably give me one of those looks."

       Lex made a face, drank his coffee.  "So, what are you gonna do with your vacation?"

       "We're heading into Metropolis tomorrow and see my grandfather, and I'm spending a couple days with him.  Knowing him, he'll either take me to see a game, or he'll take me shopping, probably both.  I'm gonna go to the dance at school for New Years, other than the usual chores and catching up on my sleep, I have nothing to do.  What about you?"

       "Other than work, I'm going to my father's New Year's party."

       "You don't sound very thrilled about it."

       "My dad's chef knows how to make beautiful food, but it all tastes like cardboard."  Lex said.  "So I can't even say I'm just going for the food."

       "You're just going cause you have to?"

       "Yeah."  He said.  "If you didn't already have plans, I'd invite you."

       "I'll keep that in mind in case Lana and Chloe get into a cat fight over me again."

       "They're fighting over you?"

       Clark nodded.  "Yeah."

       Lex grinned.

       "I know you wanna laugh, but it's really not funny."  He said smiling.

       Lex laughed anyway.

       Clark laughed too.  "Stop!"

       "I can't stop now.  If you didn't want me to laugh, you shouldn't have said it wasn't funny."

       Clark tried to look glum, but he failed because he couldn't stop smiling and chuckling.

       "Let me get this straight, Clark."  Lex said.  "First you couldn't get Lana cause she was with Whitney.  So you gave up on her and went out with Chloe.  Very day of the dance, he left to join the Marines, and Lana's available but you were going with Chloe.  Then, Chloe breaks up with you, gives you the 'let's be friends' line.  Then you take Lana out, and then left her at a bar to go off with Jessie.  Seemed like neither one of them would go near you for a while.  Then whatever happened that I missed while I blinked yesterday--and now they're fighting each other to have you, but you don't want either one of them?"

       "Right."

       "Why don't you just pick one of them?"

       Clark's eyes closed and he sighed and opened his eyes again.  "How can I pick between them?"

       "Try doing eenie meenie..."

       "LeeEEex!"  He laughed.

       Lex laughed at him.  "Okay, okay.  Seriously.  Just between us, which one of them do you want?"

       Clark looked hurt.

       "Out with it, Clark."

       Clark shut his eyes.  "I don't know.  Both.  Neither.  I don't know."

       "Oh boy."  Lex said.  "You can't have it for both of them!"

       "I'm doomed."  Clark said.  "I can't choose.  I can't have them both.  But if I choose, I might lose them both as friends.  They're best friends too, I don't want to come between that."

       Lex made a face.  "You're screwed."

       "That's helpfull."  Clark said dully.

       "I can't exactly tell you who to pick."

       "If you were in my shoes, who'd you pick?"

       "Chloe."  Lex said without missing a beat.

       "I thought you were gonna say Lana."

       "You want me to say, Lana?"

       "No.  I wanted the truth."  Clark looked glum.  "This is so screwed up, I don't want to think about it."

       "You got your eye on someone else, don't you?"

       Clark looked away from him, and turned pink.

       "Ahhhh!"  Lex teased.

       "No!"

       "Yes, you do."

       Clark's blush grew deeper.

       "You should ask this girl out."

       "I can't."  He said and didn't look at Lex.

       "Must be bad if you can't even look at me."

       Clark still didn't look at him.

       "Who?"

       "Someone so far out of my reach, I might as well want the sun."

       "She's married?"

       "No."

       "Now you got me in suspense.  Who is this woman who's got you so captivated?"

       Clark still said nothing.

       "Got it so bad you don't even want to tell me who she is."  Lex said, and teased.  "Poor Clarkie."

       "Oh shutup."  He grumbled, but then grinned and laughed.  "Hate that I can't control who I have a crush on.  Hate it.  Always seem to want the one I can't have.  Every crush I ever had was for a girl I couldn't have.  Then I'd get over her, start liking someone else, but the last crush would become available to me.  Now I want someone I can't even name."

       "Why can't you name her?"

       Clark blushed.

       "This really is bad."

       "I know it's bad."

       "Tell me."

       "No way!"  Clark said.

       Lex grinned.  "She's older and she's married, isn't she?"

       Clark said nothing.

       "Come on, Clark!"  Lex said.  "Tell me!  Who?"

       "I am so, not telling.  I wouldn't even tell my mother, my father, or even my guardian angel for that matter."

       "Oh, come on.  You can tell me."

       "Mmmmmmphhh!"

       "What're you doing?  Taking a dump?"  Lex asked and laughed at him.

       "No.  I'm trying to get you to change the subject.  If I mention a name, I'm afraid I'll curse myself and make it worse, and I'll never get over it."

       "You really could never have this girl?"

       Clark shook his head.  "Like I said.  I might as well be in love with the sun.  I just want to get over it and move on.  I don't want to ever mention it.  Didn't even want to admit it to myself at first.  Certainly don't want to say anything aloud."

       "Don't you trust me, Clark?"  He said and pouted at him.

       "With my life, Lex.  With everything I hold dear."  He said.  "It's not that I don't want to tell you.  I can't."

       "You can't tell me?"

       "No.  I can't tell anyone.  It'd be a disastor."

       Lex studied his friend for a minute, then nodded.  He couldn't help but to be annoyed by this.  Clark keeping things.  It was stupid, but he was his friend.  He thought he should have the right to know.  "It's okay, Clark.  You don't have to tell me."

       Clark looked a little upset.

       Lex got up, cleaned out his coffee cup.  "I should go."

       "You can stay, Lex."  Clark offered.

       "I'd love to, but I'm due in Metropolis for my dad's Christmas party."

       "Oh."

       "What's the matter, Clark?"

       "Yer not mad at me cause I won't tell you, are you?"

       "Nah."  He lied.

       Clark looked more hurt.  "See you when I see you then?" 

       "Sure."  He said and went out the door, coffee cup in hand.

~*~ Part two ~*~

       The coffee cup and the t-shirt really were two of the best gifts anyone had ever given Lex in his life.  He knew the t-shirt had cost Clark all of about seven dollars, and the coffee cup was maybe five.  It wasn't the price that mattered at all.  That didn't matter to him in the least.  What mattered was that Clark was willing to spend what little money he had to get him a gift at all.  It was even nicer that all he'd had to do to make Clark happy was to buy for him one of those sweatshirts he'd been wanting.  If he'd bought a sweatshirt for his father, or someone else in that particular ritzy social circle, it would have been sneered at.

       He drove on down the road, letting a car pass before he turned and sped away at eighty miles an hour.  That was slow for him.  The feeling of Clark's hug lingered.  The shock of having been called the shiney baldy head man lingered, but it'd been so dam funny too.  He felt good.  He felt a need to return to the Kent's house and sit on their sofa and stare at the Christmas tree.

       He tried to shake a thought out of his mind, but it had formed and it was too late.  Someone had told him to be carefull what he wished for, but he couldn't help wishing he was part of the Kent's family.  Ever since he'd met Clark he'd felt a bond to him that went beyond friendship.  It was the closest thing to brotherhood he'd ever had.  All his years in school, he'd watched other boys paling around with each other, and just wished that he could once know how it felt to have a friend.

       Now he had one.  Now he knew why his father had always told him friends were dangerous.  Especially Clark, a younger friend, and a person he wanted to set a good example for.  He'd passed over some pretty good, although shadey, business deals because he never wanted to do something immoral and have Clark find out about it.  What if Clark copied him?  That'd make it his fault.

       It'd felt so wonderfull to be hugged by someone who really meant it.  In his entire life, other than his mother, no one had hugged him and meant it before.  It didn't matter to him at all that Clark was not his biological brother.

       He was Clark.  And Clark was his friend.

       If only Clark wouldn't hide things.  That miffed him.  They were supposed to be friends.  The whole thing about Clark's new crush wasn't the issue.  It was other little things.  Like how Clark insisted he hadn't hit him with his car, when he knew dam well he had.

       He forced his brain to quit dwelling on the Kent household.  Dwelling on it made him miserable, because he'd dream he was part of it.  He'd dream that he worked with Jonathan and Clark tending livestock and crops, and that the three of them made jokes all day long.  He dreamed that Jonathan Kent was really his father, and that they kept track of crop reports and check books over cups of coffee at the kitchen table.  He dreamed that there were hugs and laughter in abundance, in between some occassional family troubles.  Even a fight between his dream parents would be welcomed because it would bring them closer together in the end.  He dreamed that he called Mrs. Kent mom, kissed her cheek and told her goodnight.  She'd kiss him back and pat his bald head, and he'd walk up the stairs grinning...

       ...and then wake in a cold lonesome mansion.

~*~ Part Three ~*~

       A couple weeks later, a door closed somewhere in the mansion, and Lex Luthor lifted his head up from his work.  He heard his butler's voice, and then Clark's laughter.  A few seconds later, his friend walked into the library, book bag slung over his shoulder.  He was wearing the sweatshirt Lex had gotten him for Christmas, and the new sneakers he'd gotten when he'd visited his grandfather.  He sat down at his usual spot in Lex's library, in front of a computer only he used, and turned it on.

       "You look uncustomarily happy, Clark."  Lex heard himself say.  "What's up?"

       "I got into honor's math today."

       "That's great!"  He said meaningfully.  "You gonna be able to catch up though?"

       "They're giving me a whole month to catch up to them.  Shouldn't be too hard.  Regular class just finished unit thirteen, and honors is in sixteen.  There's a lot of work honors did that the regular class didn't do and I'll have to make that up.  I'll be spending my sixth period study hall in the math lab with my teacher until I'm caught up."

       "Cool."  Lex said.  "That'll look good on your transcript."

       Clark grinned at him, and pulled a disc out of his backpack and put it gently into the drive.  "So what're you doing this weekend?"

       "Going on a trip to Metropolis.  I got a business meeting."

       "Really?"  He wondered, smiling toothily.

       Lex nodded.

       "Would you mind a tag along?"

       "Be nice to have company for the drive."

       "Aright.  My Christmas money puts me up to two grand.  I finally got enough cash to get a car.  My grampa said he'd do all the cosigning and he's putting me on his insurance so I won't have to pay an arm and a leg."

       "You're getting a car?"

       "Yeah."  He said smiling brightly.  "I'm getting a car!"

       "Well, isn't this is your week?"

       Clark smiled brightly.  "This year has certainly started off with a bang for me.  I get the class I wanted, and I'm finally getting a car."

       "What kind you gonna get?"

       "I'm looking for affordable."  He said.  "I'm gonna try to just get a used car."

       Lex grinned.  Clark was so excited he looked like a happy little kid.  "I haven't been this happy since you bought me that truck."  He scowled.

       "I still don't understand why yer dad wouldn't let you have that."

       "Yer not supposed to accept payment for doing a good deed like saving someone's life."

       Lex blinked.  "Why not?"

       "What goes around comes around."  Clark told him.

       He scowled.  "What's that got to do with that truck, Clark?"

       "Lex, for the record, I wanted that truck."

       "It's still in my garage."

       "Have to wait till I'm eighteen before I could have it, and I still won't take it as payment for saving your life."

       Lex made a face.

       Clark blinked.  "You really don't get it at all.  Do you?"

       "No."

       "If you don't understand, then...then...I could never explain it to you."  He said.  "No matter what I say to you, I could never get you to comprehend.  You have to learn certain things by experiencing them for yourself."

       "What experience would I have to have though?"

       Clark's mouth opened, and there was a look on his face that Lex never thought he'd see on his friend's face.

       That look meant that Clark felt sorry for him, and it was the most annoying thing he'd ever seen.

       "Okay, now we're getting into mushy territory."  Clark said.  "I got work to do, and so do you."

       Lex looked at his stack of papers, and decided to let the whole subject blow away with the wind.  He wanted to know what Clark meant though.  What experience?  Why should Clark feel sorry for him?  He wanted to press the issue, but his friend had bent his head to his work and it wasn't the sort of thing he really liked talking about.

       He got himself back into his work, and took comfort from the silent companion who sat at the next desk.  It was good to have a friend that close who didn't make him feel uncomfortable about the silence.

       Actually, he felt perfectly relaxed with Clark's silent companionship.  There were times though, Clark pissed him off so bad he wanted to strangle him.

MORE TO COME…