My Subaru... My Seishirou...
By: Sakura Lilly
Author's Note: The first part of this is written from Seishirou's POV. It's probably too OOC for him, but I think that even the Sakurazukamori must have hidden soft side, or at least when it comes to Subaru. The second part is from Subaru's POV.
Warnings: Shounen-ai
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to I don't own neither Seishirou *drools*, Subaru *drools some more*, nor Hokuto. All of these wonderful characters and Tokyo Babylon, X/1999 belong to CLAMP. Whoever is reading MUST bow before CLAMP like me. *Bows*
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Subaru... I know we're enemies... I know that I'm not supposed to... I know that I must kill you... I know that I'd be condemmned by my ancestors... But I also know that I all of this doesn't matter to me... that can't help loving you... I gave my eye for your life, and I'd give my life for you... One way, or another, you're the center of life, you're my whole reason of existence. Either to kill you... Or to love you... You're everything to me... You're my friend... my lover... my life... my enemy... my prey... I know I can't kill you, because I can't live without you...
But I keep on hurting you... being the source of your pain... Because I'm the Sakurazukamori... and you're the Head of the Sumeragi... I'm a Dragon of Earth... And you're a Dragon of Heaven... We were destined to be enemies, to fight each other until the end of days... I was destined to kill you, to destroy you... But I know deep down in my cold heart, that we were also destined to be together... I was destined to love you... You were destined to be mine... as a prey... or as a lover...
You think I enjoy causing pain, destroying, killing... And you're right, I enjoy the killing, I thrive on the pain I cause others... But not when it's you that I see hurting... when I see you bleeding for me... crying for me... looking at me with that sad, silent expression in you're beautiful eyes... You think it doesn't hurt me, but whenever I cause your pain, I feel my heart shattering... I feel my spirit being pierced by your eyes... I can't stand to see you hurt, but it seems I can't stop being the cause of your tears... of your pain... of your agony...
You're so beautiful to me... I love your deep emerald eyes... your ebony hair... the feeling of your soft, warm body pressed agaisnt my... your sweet lips against mine, joining in an everlasting kiss... the feeling of my arms around you, protecting you, binding you to me, making you mine forever... I love your hands... the same hands I dared to taint with the Sakurazukamori mark... the pure hands I dared to touch... the hands that now carry my symbol forever... the symbol of my prey... as much I'd wish it'd be the symbol of my love...
I love you, my dearest Subaru... I've loved you ever since the day we met... I've loved you through these years... When we became friends... when we became lovers... But I ruined it all by being me... by being the worst enemy of the Sumeragi... by being the Sakurazukamori... by being Sakurazuka Seishirou... by making you my prey... by killed your dear sister Hokuto... I ruined it all in countless ways...
I wake up everyday wishing you were here with me... here by my side... I wake up wishing I wasn't who I am... wishing I wasn't the Sakurazukamori... I wake up wishing all the pain I've caused you is a dream... wishing you're sister was still with you... wishing I could go back and erase it all... wishing you'd forgive me, even though I know you can't... even though I don't deserve it and never will.
Don't cry for me Subaru... This evil, dark, tainted, souless heart does not deserve your precious tears... I've done so much to hurt you, even though I love you... You're only real joy my life has ever known... and yet... I'm the only pain yours has... Don't think about me anymore... don't spill any more tears for me... don't try to forgive me... You and I both know I don't deserve so...
Ai shiteru... Sumeragi Subaru....