Author's Note: This is the second part of this fanfic, written from Subaru's POV. It's his "response" to Seishirou's thoughts on the previous part. Marion I think that our chats is what inspired me to write this so I thank you for it and dedicate this fanfic to you! *Glomps*
Warnings: Shounen-ai
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to I don't own neither Seishirou *drools*, Subaru *drools some more*, nor Hokuto. All of these wonderful characters and Tokyo Babylon, X/1999 belong to CLAMP. Whoever is reading MUST bow before CLAMP like me. *Bows*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seishirou-san... why?... You're my enemy... the Sakurazukamori... the beign that has the mission to kill me... my hunter... Then why do I feel like this for you?... I've tried to get myself to forget you... to accept the fact you can never love me... But I can't... You're all my life... I'm yours in every way... your friend... your enemy... your lover... your.. prey... I'm yours for you to take... you may kill me... or you may love me... and either way I wouldn't care...
Why do you hurt me so, Seishirou-san? You've hurt me... ever since I met you... and I never did anything but love you... Countless times I've told myself not to spill another tear for you... not to let you see me how you hurt me... not to show you my weakness... Because that's what you are... you are my weakness... but you're also my strenght... But everytime I see you cold golden eye... the eye that can't look at me without that predatory expression... I can't help but feeling hurt... I could stand every slash of a knife without wincing, but your eye... it pierces straight through my very soul...
But yet... it was your eyes that drew me you the first time... when I first looked into those golden orbs I couldn't help but wonder if they'd ever look at me with with love... But I that was just a silly dream... to you I'm only your prey... a pretty boy to play with... But I find you beautiful... your eye... your tall frame... your dark hair... How I wish I could tangle my fingers in that hair... to get lost in that eye... to kiss those lips with the cold smile... Seishirou-san...
Hundreds of times I've wondered... will you ever be able to love me?... Were we destined to be enemies until the end?... Were we destined to never be together?... Will I ever be able to break through the Sakurazukamori?... Will I always be so weak to be taken over by you?... Would I ever be able to live without you?... I swore to kill you, after you took my sister's life... But I end up telling to myself that I couldn't live without you... I wish for you to love me... or to kill me... But please don't leave me alone...
You gave up your eye for me... My sister gave up her life for me... because she knew I loved you... even before I realized it myself... Fuuma realized my guilt and took my eye... so we could be alike... I gave my eye for you... and I would sacrifice myself for you... I'd give you my life... I'd let you kill me... it is my wish to die at your hands... My wish is to be with you... to live by your side... or to die in your arms...
Do you really love me Seishirou-san?... or do you just want to play with my feelings?... There's been many times in the past when you could have taken my life... but you didn't... Is it because in that cold heart of yours there are hidden feelings... or because I amuse you with my pain, with my uncertainty... with my tears...? Even when thinking of you I can't help but feel the tears filling my eyes... Smoking makes me think of you... makes me remeber the time we spent together... the time when I thought you really loved me...
I cannot stop the tears from flowing. You've hurt me too much Seishirou-san. But I still love you... love you with all my heart... with all my soul... with everything I have... I'm yours... and only yours... forever yours... I couldn't live without you... But I also cannot be this near you and so far at the same time... I can't be your love and your prey... I can't be your lover and your enemy... I can't be with you and without you... I need you with me Seishirou-san... I...
Aishiteru... Sakurazuka Seishirou...