Switzerland

By Amanda Halliwell Wyatt

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except the idea for the story. I get laughed at when I ask for the rights to the show. And I ask nicely, too!

Rating: G Summary: How flat IS Xander's head? the Scooby gang discusses. Or argues. Whichever. Thanks: Jess and Em. Sorry that it made you laugh in the middle of math. Want it? Take it! Just tell me, ok? Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top! My email is charmed337@yahoo.com . Timeline: the middle of season 3. But MY season 3. Couples? Xander/Cordy, Buffy/Angel, and Willow/Oz.

On with the show!

"Buffy!" Willow wailed.

"What? I was listening." Her best friend answered automatically.

"Tell Xander that I'm right!" Willow said, in an extremely childish way. But then again, the entire thing was childish.

They were sitting at one of those little round tables in the Bronze, listening to Dingoes Ate My Baby play. But Buffy could barely hear them over the sound of Willow and Xander. Not that she was paying attention to either noises. Angel was supposed to show, but she still didn't see him.

"Sorry Will. What's wrong?"

"Xander thinks he's be hit over the head or knocked out four times-" Buffy interrupted her with a laugh.

"Yeah! I know!" Willow continued. "I'm thinking, more along the lines of, like, ten. At least. So? Who's right?"

Buffy considered the question with mock-seriousness. Cordelia answered for her.

"Way more than that!"

She sat down in between Xander and Buffy, setting her purse down on the table and her coat over the back of the chair.

She then proceeded to set her hand on top of Xander's head.

"See? There's a flat spot right here." Xander shook her hand off.

Fine." He said sourly. "Make fun of my pain."

"I thought that's what we were already doing." Willow smiled.

The Dingoes finished their set. Oz climbed off the stage and made his way to Willow, who was still fighting with Xander and Cordelia, while Buffy looked sadly around. She perked up, and he noticed that Angel was also approaching said table.

Oz planted a kiss on the top of Willow's head, surprising her.

"Hey! That was good! How long's the break?"

"30 minutes." He looked over at Xander, who seemed to be pouting. "What's up with him?"

Cordelia happily explained.

"Ah. Ok then." Oz said, in his usual Oz-ness. He pulled up a chair and watched them.

"I'll love you no matter how flat your head gets." Cordy grinned at him like that was some kind of compliment.

" I don't know. It's looking pretty flat to me, Cordelia." Angel couldn't resist making fun of Xander. Buffy moved off her chair to let Angel sit down, and then she sat on his lap.

Noticing that he wasn't going to get any help from Angel, Xander turned to Oz for help in defending what little was let of his honor.

"Oz, man. You gotta help me. It's four against one, and I'm not liking those odds.

"Switzerland." Oz declared. Obviously Xander wasn't getting the desired help from him.

"Thanks a lot. You guys can continue with the mocking, but I don't see what's so amusing."

"And the rest of us don't see what's funny about freaking Spongebob Squarepants, but we put up with that." Cordy hated cartoons.

"Hey! Leave him out of this! That's quality programming." Xander stood up.

"I'm gonna go get food. If I don't come back in 15 minutes, don't send help."

Buffy stood up and gave him a hug. "We're sorry, Xand." She stretched up and put her hand on his head, and pulled it away, shrieking with laughter.

"It really is a little bit flat!"

Oz looked on with sympathy as the rest of their group burst out laughing. "Sorry man. There evil is pure. You just gotta go with it." That, being the least comforting but longest thing Oz had ever said, Xander started laughing a little bit too. His friends were weird like that. They saved the world all the time, and they needed a little bit of comic relief.

Even if it was at his expense.