Disclaimer: Nanananana…
Warnings: Shounen ai, and SAP SAP SAP. --;; Enough sap to fill a cement truck, or ten. Chocolate, stuffed bears, and stalkers. **shrug**
Notes: **wave wave** Hiiiii, everyone!! Hope you guys like this ^^;;
YET ANOTHER STORY
Chapter Three:
"Smile, You Are Loved"
Time passed, as it has a habit of doing, and before I knew it, it was the week of Valentine's Day!! Miaka was supposed to come down that Wednesday, and the two of us were planning on going shopping for stuff to give to The Boys. I was unnaturally excited, so much so that, on my way to Arthurian Literature, I almost forgot that I would see Chuin in class.
I had been stricken by a morbid fear of attending that particular class, which conflicted annoyingly with the fact that it was actually interesting. Many times, I would be so overcome with anti-Chuin sentiment that I would seriously consider skipping in order to avoid his ogling eye. But then I always yelled at myself, because it was really pretty stupid. I was no wimp, after all! I wouldn't let a silly thing like a psycho stalker keep me from going to class! I'd stick it out; I would not be defeated! I would not let myself be defeated!
And then I would march into the room with my head held high, see Chuin's eyes light up like beacons at my sudden presence, and wish to Suzaku that I were invisible or dead. Preferably invisible.
That day, I overcame my discomfort by ignoring him completely, taking a desk waaaaay across the room, and focusing on meeting Miaka at the Union at noon.
The lecture went fine, and I had succeeded once again in completely blocking all thoughts of Chuin from my mind…until—there's always an until—Professor Trebarske started talking about motifs.
"A recurring motif in Arthurian romances," she began, "is unrequited love."
My head snapped up. Meeehhhh??? No no no, don't start!! PLEASE! Not with him and…me…and…AHHHHH!!!!
"Often, a man will fall deeply in love with a woman, and wish to consummate the relationship; however, the woman, normally, wants no part of it. She is either already married, or just plain doesn't like the guy. We see this in…"
Aaaaaack, I thought in dismay, my gaze darting quickly over at Chuin, who was sitting a bit more rigidly than normal. Toss away the woman thing, and…aaaaaack. No tension there. Think he'll follow the Arthurian example, and run away on a quest or something because I don't like him?…One can only hope.
My fear that Chuin would accost me after class and demand that I let him joust in my honor was very real. Therefore, I grabbed my things as soon as the ending bell rang and darted out the door like The Fastest Mouse In All Mexico. I didn't think he was following me, but with Chuin, one never knew.
You're mean you're mean you're mean!! You're acting just like Hotohori-sama used to act, and how did that make YOU feel???
No no no no no, but the difference IIISSSSSSSS…if Hotohori-sama had told me not to love him anymore…I wouldn't have kept on…I wouldn't…
But I couldn't imagine what I would have done if Hotohori had told me right out that he didn't love me. It made my chest hurt just to think about it; it had been bad enough that he ignored the whole being in love with him thing, but if he'd ever said anything…if I hadn't even been able to dream about it…
"RYUUEN RYUUEN RYUUEN!!!"
THUMP!!!
Suddenly, I found myself blinking up at the sky, head in the grass, with something heavy sitting on my stomach. Something giggled, and I tilted my head downward to see Miaka beaming down at me like a hyena on anti-depressants.
"M…" I began, but she cut me off, leaning down to wrap her arms around my neck and giving me a peck on the lips.
"Ohhhhhh, I missed you I missed you I missed yoooouuuu!!!!!"
"Errr…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry?"
"Mmmmmm!!!" She tightened her grip on me, resting her cheek on mine.
Well, at least if Chuin sees us now, he'll think I was telling the truth all those times I claimed to have a girlfriend!
"Ah…Miaka?"
"Hmm?"
"I think the frost is melding me to the ground."
"Ahh!" she exclaimed with more giggles, sitting up quickly. I followed suit. "Heehee, sorry…"
"Aaaaaand I missed you TOO TOO TOOOOO!!!!" I cried, retaliating by flipping her onto her back and repeating the loving wrestling move she had used on me. She squealed, and we both laughed hard.
As we lay there, giggling on our backs on the hard, frozen ground, I began to reflect on the fact that whenever Miaka came to visit, random people wound up staring at us. I didn't care; it was their fault if they thought we were weird for being so loud. It was just amusing, like going to restaurants with Genrou. I think people like Genrou are the reason some folks go off to live in the mountains: he didn't mix well with "society," in the calm, mannered, inside-voice sense of the word.
"So…are we going?" I asked Miaka.
"Yup! I just have to get up first."
"Hehe…me, too."
Silence.
"Ssskkkxxxxxxxx…"
"Miaka!!" I said, surprised. She couldn't have fallen asleep that quickly!!
"Ahahahaha, ohh, calm down, Ryuu-chan; I was only kidding. Do ya wanna take my car, or the bus?" She hopped to her feet, offering me a hand.
~*~
We were about half way to the Holiday Emporium—in Miaka's car, upon which she had insisted, after remembering that the campus buses were erratic and made me carsick—when she turned to me without warning and squeaked, "OH MY GOD!! Awwwww, it's your very first Valentine's Dayyyyy!!!!!"
Thrown against the passenger seat door by her outburst, I blinked at her, wide-eyed, and affirmed mock-nervously, "ahahahahaha…yeah, it is!"
"Are you excited??" she wanted to know, bouncing in her seat.
"Ehehehehe…Miaka…keep your eyes on the road!"
"Eep!! Sorry!"
"But, yeah," I answered her question, "I'm excited. I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend. Or even a pet. And he cares about what I want to do…he actually asked me! Ahhh, he's so great…I can't believe I actually found someone who…ehhhhhhhhhhh." I trailed off, realizing that I was rambling worse than a stuttering frontiersman singing along to a broken record, and felt my face go hot. "Ummmm… anyway, yeah, it'll be really fun."
"Awww, you're totally blushing!!!" she cooed. "You're so adorable, Ryuu-chan!!"
"Shuu'uuuup," I muttered, putting both hands to my cheeks.
She giggled. "Hey, you wanna stop for a hamburger, or something?"
"Nah," I shrugged. "Go ahead and stop if you want something, though. I don't mind."
"Oh. Wellllll, I guess I can wait…"
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Awwww, Miaka!!" I clasped my hands together. "The sacrifices you make!!"
She stuck out her tongue at me, and flipped on the radio.
"…Aaaaaand thanks for joining us here at WGTB: The Flame…wishing everyone a happy Valentine's week, here's our countdown of the twenty best love songs of the eighties, nineties, and today!"
"Love songs?" I wrinkled my nose. "Ewwwww."
"Ahh, you're such a hypocrite…OOOOHHHH, I LOVE THIS SONG!!"
And, as usual, the next few minutes had us both singing (very badly) at the top of our lungs:
"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOUU OOOUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUU OOO OOO OOUOUU UUUUUOOOUUU!!!!!"
And just as the song finished, we found ourselves, hoarse and on the verge of tears from laughing so hard, in the parking lot of the Holiday Emporium.
The aforementioned store sold merchandise according to whatever holiday was closest. Around Halloween, it sold Halloween stuff. Around the Fourth of July, it sold Fourth of July stuff. Around Easter, well…fill in the blank. Naturally, therefore, it was the place to go for Valentine's cards and other items of interest pertaining to the day.
I had been there several times before. However, I had never been faced with the need to actually buy something meaningful.
"Ryuu-chan, look, look!" said Miaka as we cruised down one of the aisles. She removed a large, white stuffed teddy bear with a red, heart-shaped nose and held him under her chin, puppy-eyed. "Looooook, how cuuuute!! He's only five bucks! You should get him for Sai!"
I regarded the bear dubiously. He was awfully cute. But I had a very hard time picturing my boyfriend cuddling up to a stuffed toy. "Ahhh, I dunno, Miaka…"
"I wuv you, Wyuu-chaaaan!" she squeaked, moving the toy's arms around spastically.
"Oooookay…uhh…getting scared, moving on." I hurried over to the next aisle.
Oooh, candy! Maybe Sai would like candy!
Turning to Miaka to ask her opinion, I found her right behind me with her arms full of heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Wow. THAT was fast.
"Who're those for?"
"Nnnnnnno one…"
I giggled. "Miakaaaa…what if Taka buys you candy, too? You'll have too much if you buy all that for yourself!"
"There is no such thing as too much chocolate!" she declared triumphantly, coming around to deposit the boxes in the cart I was pushing. "And besides, they're on sale!"
"Do you think Sai would want chocolate?"
She grinned. "Well, if you buy some for him and he doesn't want it, I'd be more than happy to assist you in disposing of it!"
I cocked an eyebrow. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."
"OOOH!!! You could get him boxers with hearts on them!!" she cried, pointing wildly at an end cap with such items on display.
"Miaka, NOOOOO!!!" I blushed. "I'm not getting him underwear!!!"
"How about socks?"
I shrugged. "He doesn't really seem to care all that much for funky socks. He'd wear them if I got some for him, but I don't know if he'd really like them, or just pretend he liked them."
"I'm sure he'd like them, if they came from you," she assured me, looping her arm around mine.
Looking desperately around at the shelves of red and pink junk, I let out a sigh. Everything in the store just seemed so…un-Sai-like. Artificial. And if there was one thing that Sai wasn't, it was artificial. I considered forgoing the Valentine's day theme altogether, and going to the book store to get him a biography of Rockefeller, or something like that. Miaka, meanwhile, had picked out a bag of candy hearts, a box of those Little Debbie heart-shaped snack cakes, and a giant pair of chocolate lips. She looked like she was having a difficult time keeping herself from going on an eating rampage in the middle of the store.
"Didja find anything yet?" she asked as she dumped more stuff into the cart, all the while eyeing a lollipop over at the register.
I shrugged. "I don't knowwwwww…I'm so unused to this! I have no idea what to get. What if he thinks whatever I get is stupid? What if he doesn't like it and pretends he does and…"
"Ryuu-chan, don't think so much about it! It's just fun! It's just a silly holiday! And I told you, I'm sure that he'll love whatever you get for him, because it'll be from you! Okay?"
I knew she was right, I guess. But after all Sai had done for me, I wanted to give him something really cool, even if it was just a silly holiday.
I was just reaching for a box of chocolates, thinking that no one could say no to chocolates, when I saw them. I'd seen them in commercials—well, maybe not this exact kind, because I think the commercial kind was only found in a certain store. But these were surely similar, and I wandered over to the shelf where two little stuffed bears were sitting, their mouths magnetically joined in a kiss.
Maybe it was stupid, and maybe it was Nuriko's girly side coming back to haunt me, but I thought those two little bears were the cutest things in the world. A grin splitting my face, I reached out and touched them, decreeing that I would get these bears for Sai! Surely he could appreciate their cuteness!!
Hmm, wait a minute…minor adjustment to be made.
With a giggle, I detached the female bear from the male bear, and brought in another male bear to take her place. But…when I tried to make them kiss…it wouldn't work.
My smile faded, and I frowned slightly, trying to force their noses together. But however hard I tried, they just kept slipping away from each other. The same pole of the magnet was in both of them. They were meant for some female bear, not each other. I guess this made me sadder than it should've. They were only toys, after all; they didn't mean anything. But still…but still…
A small arm slipped around my waist and squeezed. "Oh, Ryuu-chan…" Miaka said quietly, but I laughed and shrugged it off.
"Hehe…maybe this won't be the best thing to get for Sai, then, huh?"
"Now, don't say that!" she exclaimed suddenly, supplementing her arm with her other arm, jumping up and down and almost pulling me with her. "If you wanna get 'em, get 'em! We can fix them!!"
"Errr…huh?" I said stupidly as she grabbed a boy bear and a girl bear from the shelf and raced back to the cart. "Miaka, that's a girl!"
"We'll ask Shouka to fix them!" she beamed brightly. "She sews really well!! She can make the clothes different, and the noses will still stick together!!"
I let out a slow smile. "Really? You think she has time to do that?"
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind! She can have it done by tomorrow! Get them, get them!!"
"Well…okay, then!" I giggled. "If Sai doesn't like them, at least he has the weekend to forget about them."
Her eyebrows went up as we pushed the cart toward the register. "The weekend? Why?"
"He's going away this weekend," I shrugged. "His uncle died, and he's going out east to take care of the estate and stuff. I get to stay at his house and babysit his plants."
"Awww, that's too bad! Poor Sai! I didn't know he had an uncle!"
I nodded. "A great-uncle, apparently. They weren't very close, and they can't get a hold of anyone else in the family capable of doing all that stuff without being paid for it."
"Well, Taka and I will come visit you so you won't get too lonely, okay?"
"That'd be nice," I smiled, and looked up quickly as the bell above the door jingled.
I dunno what made me look, but weirdly enough, my eyes immediately focused upon a retreating figure through the glass of the window, walking toward the parking lot. Short, blonde hair…I could've been wrong, but I honestly thought it was that weird girl I had bumped into on the first day of school. If anyone would've asked me why I remembered her, and not the slew of other people I'd bumped into over the course of my life, I wouldn't've been able to answer, for the life of me. But, then again, the mind is selective in awfully strange ways sometimes. Like…why can I never remember who the President of France is, while I remember the theme song from a cartoon show I used to watch when I was four years old? Maybe that's not the best example, but…still.
"You want a sucker, Ryuu-chan? I'll buy it for you!" Miaka offered, pulling me back to reality.
"No, no…let me buy 'em," I insisted, forcing the blonde stranger out of my thoughts, and snagged two heart-shaped lollipops from the heart-shaped lollipop stand.
~*~
"Sai," I said quietly as the ending credits of 'As Good as it Gets' began to roll, "thanks for dinner. It was really nice of you to cook tonight."
His arm fell from my shoulder to around my waist, pulling me closer to him and kissing the top of my head as I laid it on his collarbone. "My pleasure. I'm glad you enjoy it. And next time, perhaps you'll realize I'm joking when you ask how one tells if spaghetti is done cooking, and I say when one throws it and it sticks to the wall."
"I was just trying to be funny," I pouted, completely feigning. In truth, that evening had been one of the best of my life. I was full and warm and comfortable, and surrounded, as sappy as it sounds, by love.
"I know." He chuckled. "Well…I have something for you. Would you like it now?"
"Sai…"
"And we went over this at Christmas. You will receive my gift, whether you like it or not, so don't even try to protest." He stood up, leaning me gently back against the couch, and walked around to the hall closet. As I heard his footsteps fade, pause, and then return, I eyed my own offering, which was resting happily and obliviously on the hearth; I didn't know if he'd even noticed it, hiding back there, and I worried that he'd think it was silly.
But…at the same time, I felt a rush of excitement at the prospect of giving it to him. What if he liked it? How great would that be?
With an anticipatory grin, I looked over in Sai's direction. Imagine my surprise to find that my boyfriend had, apparently, been transformed into a giant stuffed bear. A giant, brown stuffed bear, with a red silk bow around its neck, which progressed toward the couch and eventually took a seat next to me.
I blinked stupidly at it, and after a rather tense moment, the fuzzy head lowered to reveal Sai's smiling face. Reaching out a hand, I stroked the thing's nose. "This…is for me?" I said quietly.
His smile faltered a bit, but came back as strong as ever. "You don't think it's foolish, do you? I bought him so you can have him while I'm away this weekend. Maybe it was silly of me…I just thought that maybe you would like something that…"
Not giving him a chance to finish, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around both the bear and Sai, squishing the gift between the two of us. "Sai," I said, "I love it; thank you. And it's not foolish. It's from you." So. What Miaka said was true.
I felt his hands on my back, large and warm through my shirt. "I just…I know how lonely it can get in this house, with no one else around. I know you want to stay, and you should get some alone time, away from the dorms and all. And it isn't as if a toy will be able to take the place of a real person, but…the bed is awfully large and cold if you're sleeping there all by yourself."
"I'd rather have you," I whispered, "but thank you. I've, err…never had one this big before." He laughed softly, and I straightened up. "Ohhh, okay, thennnn…I guess it's my turn to give you your present."
He actually looked surprised as I trotted over to the hearth. "Ruhh…uh, Ryuuen, you didn't…"
"Excuse ME, my dear fellow," I teased snootily, "but have we not had this conversation… BEFORE?? You will receive my gift, whether you like it or not, so don't even try to protest." Sticking out my tongue out at him, I scooped up the box and headed back. "Besides…you might not even like it."
He gave me a Look as I swapped it for my new bear, hugging it around the middle and resting my chin on its head as he began to open the gift. My heart was pounding abnormally…I so wanted him to like it! I didn't want to mess up the gift on my very first Valentine's Day ever!
As he looked into the open box, his expression didn't change, and for a split second, I feared the worst. But then, slowly, he reached down and pulled out the two bears with magnetic noses, one dark brown and dressed in a green sweater, one smaller and lighter and wearing…a gray hooded sweatshirt, almost identical to mine.
Shouka was so nice to do that…man, she's really good! Ahhh, I hope he likes it…I hope he likes it…
Sai was inching the noses closer and closer together, and suddenly, they snapped against each other and stuck in a kiss. He raised his eyes to look at me, and I gave him a hesitant, sheepish grin in return.
"Umm," I said, "look, I know it's…"
All other apologies were immediately cut off as he followed the bears' lead, leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine, his hand touching the back of my head.
Ehehehehehehehehehehe…I guess that means he likes it.
It took him longer than normal to pull away, and when he did, he kept his face close to mine for a long while. My heart was still beating quickly, but for a very different reason this time…and I lowered my eyes shyly.
That was…a nice kiss.
And then, suddenly, the fear wrapped its icy fist around my heart.
Yeah, it was nice. But…it's VALENTINE'S DAY!! People are supposed to be romantic and intense, just like that… What if he's thinking that this is the night for us to… What if he wants to…
I felt his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my head a bit, and I made myself look into his eyes. His brow was creased.
"Are you all right?" he said in concern. "What's the matter?"
I can't tell him…I can't… It's…
Both of his hands were on my cheeks now, my gifts tumbling back into their box. "Ryuuen. Please."
I swallowed hard. Tell him. Tell him; isn't it better to talk about things? You don't wanna disappoint him, but…you should tell him.
Exhaling strongly, I forced myself back into control. "S-sai…umm… Well, I was just wondering… I mean, it is Valentine's Day and all, and, well… Were you planning on…" Getting frisky? Copulating? Fornicating? Ahhhh, sweet lord… "Ahhhhh, were you… I mean, I know a lot of couples…" I trailed off miserably. For pity's sake, I couldn't even say it.
Luckily, he seemed to take my meaning. He frowned, slowly lowering one hand again. And then, ever so gently, he asked, "Do you want to?"
He asked me…he's asking ME!!! Will he be upset if I tell him the truth?
But the truth was all I could muster.
"…No," I admitted, and followed up with a rapid round of apologies. "It's not because of you, please don't be upset, it's not you, it's just me! I've never th…"
Shaking his head, he put a finger to my lips. "I didn't think so," he said softly, a kind smile on his face. "Ryuuen…I'm in love with you. Not the things that we might do together. I know you're not ready. But please believe me when I say that it does not affect the way I feel about you. I'm not so cruel that I would begrudge you for something like that."
"Sai, I…"
"Shh. We'll wait until you're ready, Ryuuen; I'll wait as long as it takes. If it takes years, decades…a lifetime…you're more important than that. I'll always be here; I promise. All right?"
I couldn't believe it. I might have dreamed that he'd say something like this, but never in a million years did I imagine it would be real.
"Really?" I said, uncertain.
He smiled again, opening his arms to me; setting my giant stuffed bear aside, I scooted up to press my chest against his, linking my hands behind his back.
"Really."
~*~
Later that night, when we went upstairs for bed and Sai had gone to brush his teeth, I found that Some Mysterious Stranger had put a Palmer fortune heart on my pillow. Grinning, my heart lightened by our earlier, reassuring conversation, I unwrapped the candy and read the fortune on the wrapper.
"Smile, you are loved," it said.
And I did smile.
Because it was true.
TBC…
Notes: Ahhhh, my god, was this chapter long!!! O.o;; Ehehe…I think it sets the record. And also…the record for SAP!!!!! --;; I'm trusting you guys'll tell me if this ending part is awful, because lots of it wasn't beta-read, so I'm kinda shooting blind, here. ^^;;
Warning: Ummm, okay…the next chapter is gonna be pretty intense, so here's your warning now. The rating might go up to a deserved R. ^^;;
More Notes: Ahh, yes! I should tell all you Seiryuu fans that, yes, the Seiryuu seishi are going to play a much bigger role in this fic than in the last one. ^__^ I meant to say that last time, but forgot. Eheh.
YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!
Miaka: OOOH!!! You could get him boxers with hearts on them!
Ryuuen: Miaka, NOOOOO!!! I'm not getting him underwear!!
Miaka: Why not? It's not like you ever see his underwear, anyway.
Ryuuen: O.o;;;;; MIAKAAAA!!!!
YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, PART TWO!!!
Saihitei: Do you want to?
Ryuuen: Sure!!
Mouse-chan: O.O;; HEYYYY, you guyyyyys!!! STOPPIT!!!
~*~*~*~
(Ryuuen: Do we haaaave to go on to the next chapter??
Mouse-chan: Fraid so g.g
Ryuuen: g.g )