Warnings: Slight Tasuki language, shounen ai, slightly SD stuff, uhhh…lalala.
Notes: Gahhhhhh, sorry sorry sorry for the delay!!! ^^;;; But my classes are over and I only have one final, one take-home final, and my thesis defense to do, so I should have much more free time. ^__^() Hope you guys like this, ehehe…
YET ANOTHER STORY
Chapter Nine:
The Mallet of Doom
"T-t-t-Taiitsukun!" Sai stammered, trying to regain his normal composure and failing like an ostrich trying to fit into a canary cage.
Wide-eyed, I turned my gaze back to the old woman, whose gaze, if possible, deepened.
"You were expecting the Spanish Inquisition?" she grumbled.
We blinked.
"I…I didn't realize you were the dean of the school," Sai breathed.
Before I knew what was happening, she'd whipped out a mallet or something and bonked him on the head with it!! Where the heck did she even get the freaking thing?? "I'm not the dean, over-attractive idiot. Do you think I would need to bother myself with such a mundane and unrewarding position?"
He winced and grabbed his head, and I clenched my fists in fury. "Hey! You may be important, but you can't just hit people like that!!!"
"Mmm, especially when one of those people happens to be your soul mate, isn't that right, Nuriko?" She raised an unsympathetic eyebrow at me, and I glared at her, mouth clenched in anger…until I realized what she'd said, and froze.
"D…uhh, soul mates?" I said in a small voice, feeling myself start to redden. Hearing someone else say it—the controller of the universe, at that!—equipped my heart with water wings, so to speak. Was she telling the truth?? Did that mean that Sai and I really were meant to be together, and it wasn't just some sort of desperate delusion on my part?? At her almost grudging affirmative look, my knees turned to jelly and I had to clutch at Sai's arm to steady myself. "Ehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!"
The old woman closed her eyes. "Suzaku. What have I done?"
Hiding my face in my boyfriend's sleeve, I pressed a hand to my right cheek and continued to giggle. He patted the arm that was entwined with his and sighed.
"Not that it isn't refreshing to see the two of you when neither of you is moping about like a love-scorned basset hound," Taiitsukun continued dryly, "but I'm sure you two must have other business here. Clearing up absences, perhaps?"
"Forgive my question," Sai ventured, "but might I ask why you are here, in the dean's office, if you have no connection to the school whatsoever?"
"When one is the ruler of the universe, one need not succumb to normal rules," was her helpful reply. "But it is for the best; do you think, if you would have visited on the correct Sunday, the real Dean Patterson would have let you off the hook for something as unconventional as a homosexual assault?"
I stopped laughing abruptly as my fear and shame was mentioned so bluntly, and shrank back from the woman, lowering my eyes. Beside me, I felt Sai tense, and I'm sure he would have rebuked her if she hadn't spoken first.
"Oh, come now, Nuriko," Taiitsukun rasped, sounding the slightest bit exasperated. "It was not my intention to vex you. Yes, I know what happened, and why, and I am certainly not one to belittle you for it, or to underplay the event in any way. An attack is an attack, after all. Now…let me see what I can do about your respective excused absences." The computer screen behind her suddenly flashed a bright red, making me give a startled jump; it sped through file after file at lightning speed, clicking along smoothly, until finally coming to rest on a page that said, "Thank you! Please serve Suzaku well."
Sai and I blinked again.
"Is…that…" he began.
"You and your companions have been excused from your remaining classes," she confirmed. "Oh, and congratulations; you've all passed with flying colors, even that red-headed punk friend of yours."
It took quite a while for this to sink in. "Ahh, T..Taiitsukun," I said in a small voice, "I'm writing a thesis…"
"From which you are excused," she repeated, sounding impatient.
"But…I want to write it," I protested meekly. "It was my choice, and…well…as much of a pain as it is, I'd feel like I was copping out if I didn't finish…" Wait a minute, I thought, what the hell am I saying??!?!?! What the HELL?? I have a free pass out of the stupid paper, and I'm not taking it, WHY??? Why do I have to be so goddamn moral??
"Maaatttaku," she grumbled, shaking her head, "this would be so much easier if you were still a brainless concubine."
I gaped at her indignantly. "I am not cheating on my honors thesis, and that's final!" That's right; I'll show HER! "And I wasn't brainless! I thought up the blood transfusion system before it even existed!!"
Wait a minute…I did??
"Fine, fine…have it your way," she said gruffly. "And the world will end because you're sifting through primary sources."
"So, we're to locate the rest of the Seiryuu seishi," Sai said quickly, before I could retort. "Do you know where they are?"
Swiveling her head almost like an owl, Taiitsukun fixed her eyes on him. "You must find them on your own. I cannot reveal such things."
"But when we were looking for Houjun, you sent us that mirror thing that…" I began, but she cut me off.
"In this instance, it is against the will of Destiny that I assist you in this matter. I have done what I can, and you are free to start your quest."
I crossed my arms indignantly. "That's a really stupid rule. That's like in 'The Neverending Story,' when they send Atreyu off to save the world, but the rules are he can't take any friends and he has to leave his weapons! Hello, that really might've helped him out. If the entire world is at stake, why the heck can't we take advantage of everything we can?!"
Now, it was my turn to be bonked with that stupid mallet. I reeled, seeing stars, and fell against my boyfriend. That woman was really starting to piss me off.
"Do you mind?" Sai said in a low voice, bringing an arm around my shoulders to steady me as I rubbed my head ruefully. "He's been through a lot, you know."
"Then he should refrain from asking stupid questions when I have just given him the answer," she replied. "However, time grows short…" She kept on talking about our duty, blah blah, and I sulked because she'd hit me and she was really pretty rude. My eyes trailed to the polished wooden bookshelf beside me, glanced over the books and the little trophy things and the pictures of the real Dean Patterson's kids…and suddenly…
Hmm, what have we here?
I raised an eyebrow at the little wooden gavel that sat placidly upon a stack of law books, trimmed with gold and beckoning to me with tiny, invisible fingers. My hand clenched unconsciously, and my gaze darted back to Taiitsukun to see if she'd noticed; she hadn't. Phew. Back to the object of my desire.
Should I?
Should I?
She'll get really maaaaad…
But what can she doooo??? She needs us to save the bloody world!
Do it!
Do it!
Do it do it do it do it…
Before I could process things any further, I had lashed out, grabbed the gavel, leaped back to the desk, and whacked the old bat over the head with it. The thing was about the same size as a pipe…but, ehehe, my god-given power came to my aid admirably, driving Taiitsukun down from her hovering position and splatting her onto the floor with a grunt of surprise.
At first, I thought this was remarkably funny…until I realized that I'd just splatted the controller of the universe, and the prize gavel fell from my numb fingers and clattered to the ground. I laughed nervously, hoping she'd think it was just a joke or a spasm or something; Sai, who had been stricken into immobility, chose that moment to break his trance, grab me around the waist, and haul me from the room, calling out a hasty "Welllllllllllllll, thankyouforyouradvice, we'llbeintouch!!" as we closed the door behind us.
The secretary bade us a strangely cheery farewell when we sped past her, and oddly enough, it seemed like she was a lot shorter and had redone her hair in pigtail braids; I did not, however, have much of a chance to process this. Sai didn't stop running until we were out of the building and well on the way to the car. He pushed me in through the driver's side door and crawled in himself, and I thought he might be mad at me for what I'd done to Taiitsukun…but he slumped on the wheel, shoulders shaking, and I realized he was laughing.
A smile grew on my lips at this unexpected reaction, and uttered a small giggle, which soon gave way to hysteria.
"All right," said Sai, when he had calmed down enough to speak coherently, "the next time we should cross paths with her, I think you should keep to the background…"
"Disguised as a Nyan Nyan!!" I roared with laughter, one hand to my face, one to my stomach, which had begun to ache. It struck me as a very amusing thought at the time. Hey, I'd only gotten three hours of sleep. At least it made Sai laugh, too.
"I wonder why she hasn't come after us," he giggled.
"Maybe I hit her too hard, and she can't remember how…"
"Ahhh, Ryuuen," he laughed, starting the car, "that really wasn't the most brilliant thing to do, you know…but it was awfully entertaining."
I beamed at the street before us, and almost cried because I could still laugh.
~*~
We returned home to find Taka and Miaka cuddled up on the couch, and all of the food that had been on the tray Genrou had brought from the kitchen completely gone. Not a crumb littered the small coffee table upon which the tray had rested. It was as if…none of the food had ever existed at aaalllll!!!!
Hehe. Anyway.
They looked up when we came in, and both raised weak hands in greeting. I grinned and, without taking off my coat, trundled over to the couch and began a group cuddling session, resting my head on Miaka's back and closing my eyes.
"How'd it go?" asked Taka, as his girlfriend let out a happy sigh.
"Mmm…I hit Taiitsukun on the head with a judge's gavel," I admitted sheepishly.
He gave a little laugh. "You did what? Taiitsukun? You ran into Taiitsukun?"
"Apparently, Taiitsukun had decided to take over for the dean today," Sai explained, heading over. "We're excused for the semester. You and Houjun, too, Miaka, over at Perry."
Miaka sat up abruptly, squishing my head into the soft cushions of the furniture. "Ahhh, really, Sai-chan? That's terrific!!"
"You really…hit the old witch??" Taka's wide violet eyes met mine as I pried myself out from between Miaka and the couch, slightly staticky.
I shrugged. "She hit me and Sai with a magical mallet."
He whistled. "Wowwww, you are not gonna be on her good list when we see her again…"
As I giggled, remembering the thing about pretending to be a Nyan Nyan—which made more sense now, since my memory of Nyan Nyans had started to kick in during the ride home—Sai jumped topics to important stuff.
"Where is everyone else?"
"Doukun and Houjun are…upstairs," Taka replied, avoiding the name Chuin, which I guess was thoughtful of him, even though I kept telling myself it wouldn't bother me anymore. "Myojuan and Genrou aren't back from Kaen's place yet. As soon as the guys come down, I think our group's gonna head out."
"Our group."
That's right. We're separating.
"I wish we didn't have to split up," I admitted softly, clasping my hands in my lap and staring at them. "I know it's the best way to do things, but still…"
Miaka patted my shoulder. "I know, I wish we could stay together, too…Oh! Ryuu-chan," she said, as if just remembering something, and I looked up at her. She seemed to hesitate for a split second before continuing. "Will you come talk with me in the kitchen for a little bit?"
Her eyes were guarded, somehow, and a little uncertain. I studied her briefly, slightly confused, before nodding. "Sure, of course."
I shrugged out of my coat, and we both stood and headed to the kitchen, where I took a seat on the counter, and she hopped up onto the island across from me. For once, she wasn't even scanning for food; maybe it was because she'd already eaten all the snacks, but a full stomach had never stopped her from eating before.
"What's up?" I asked, beginning to worry.
She let out a breath. "Ryuu-chan…I know you probably are sick of people talking about what…what happened to you."
Something inside me winced, and my cheeks grew warm. I looked down quickly, wondering how I was supposed to forget about something if people kept bringing it up.
"I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but this is the first time I've…I just…I know what you're going through," she continued slowly. "You won't remember this, because you…weren't around…"
Oh my god, that's right…that's right, Taka said this happened to her, too! Why am I so selfish? I should've remembered that this must be really hard for Miaka, if she went through this same kind of thing…I should've remembered!
"I was taken prisoner by one of the Seiryuu seishi," she was saying. "And he said he was going to…and I thought he did, for a long time. It was awful. Later on, I found out it hadn't really happened, but for a long time, I was so ashamed…and Taka really helped me through it." She laughed a little. "Okay, so what's your point, Miaka? My point is, well…if you ever need to talk to someone who understands what happened to you, even if it's over the phone, since we're splitting up for a while…please, talk to me."
She was regarding me with a tiny smile on her beautiful face, her eyes sad but earnest, and I had to issue a serious internal order to my tear ducts to freeze in their tracks and not get all emotional again. I smiled back at her, though, and nodded.
"Thanks, Miaka…thank you. I will."
Her eyes brightened, and she opened her arms. "Now I get a hug, right?"
Rolling my eyes, I hopped down from the counter. "You're so demanding," I teased, but stepped forward anyway and wrapped my arms around her waist. She hugged me back, giggling, and followed our tender moment with the following deep, meaningful words:
"Does Sai have any ice cream?"
Well, back to your regularly scheduled Miaka. "You ate it all last time you were here."
"Awwwww."
"Yeah, that's what he said."
"Aww, he did not," she laughed, thwapping me lightly on the shoulder.
"He did! You should've seen him, he was very distraught," I said, fixing a serious look on my face.
"But he wouldn't say 'Awww,' it'd be more like…" Miaka straightened suddenly, pushing her eyebrows together slightly and staring like a puppy at the freezer. "It's…it's gone," she said in a deep, breathy voice, which was enough like Sai to make me nearly collapse with giggles.
Before we had time to really lose ourselves in our overtired antics, the resonant sound of the doorbell echoed into the kitchen, and we looked at each other.
"That must be Gen-chan and Myojuan and Kaen," chirped Miaka happily, sliding to the ground. "C'mon, let's go say hi! I wonder if Kaen has her memories!" Craftily, she stuck her hand in the cookie jar before heading back into the den, grabbing about five Oreos and shoving two into her mouth right away. I shook my head at her appetite and her metabolism and followed her.
"…Fuck is goin on! Not a fuckin clue! A whole fuckin day!" Genrou was ranting as we approached.
Miaka blinked with her mouth full. "Mmmfffhhhh??"
"Tasuki, calm down…please," Sai soothed him, holding up his hands. "What happened?"
Genrou hmphed, hiding his distress, and crossed his arms tightly, muttering curses. Taka, Sai, Miaka, and I turned to Myojuan for a rational explanation, and as the big guy sighed and closed his eyes
Kaen's not here
I had the strangest feeling that something was wrong. It pricked up my spine like ice, and my breathing suddenly grew harder…Something was wrong.
"They're gone," Myojuan said evenly. "Kaen. Lanva and Doulin. They're all gone."
TBC…
Notes: **adds corn starch to the plot**
YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! --;;Saihitei: T-t-t-Taiitsukun!!
Taiitsukun: You were expecting the Spanish Inquisition??
Genrou: **bursts in, dressed in cardinal robes** NO ONE EVERRR EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!
All: **blinkblink**