Chapter 2
"Moo!"
Dace frowned,
"Oh crap! We strayed into Moo Moo Farm.I told you it was the blue portal!"
"Uh.Got my hands full at the mo'." replied Tarquin weakly, who had made a miraculous recovery.
He was almost immediately knocked out again by the Cow King.
"Jesus Tarquin..I said: NO KING!"
Dace ran and with and almighty 'mawumph!' went back through the portal. She knew Tarquin would be fine. Which he was. Sort of. She went to Akara to load up on potions, then to Charsi and got her CCB repaired (dented, thanks to Tarquin). Then she set off onto the plains outside the camp. They were kind of cold. Also, the fields were mildly stony, the woods a bit dark and the marsh? Almost black. Soon she chanced upon a minion; a zombie to be exact. He wasn't very cooperative, so Dace just had to cut him in half in one giant sweep of her sword.
It started to rain. Dace wasn't really bothered; Colossus blades were notoriously tarnish resistant. She peered through the haze.
Suddenly, without warning, an arrow whistled past her ear and she jumped back in surprise, holding her sword ready,
"Oi! Evil demons will die for that! Crap shot too.Didn't even skim me."
"Dace? Is.is that you?"
She noticed a figure running towards her, through the gloom,
"Dace! It is you!" The person beamed at her. Dace squinted, then exclaimed,
"Azrael! It's.you!"
Azrael grinned, shouldering his bow.
Oh bloody Hell, Dace thought to herself. My day just gets better. I knew I should have just stayed as the lone wolf.
"Hi there Mr. Azrael bloke!" she forced a grin. She had a headache and was sort of looking forward to doing her quests alone. When you're alone, you can talk to yourself. At least you understand what you're saying, "For nearly shooting me with an arrow which was." she glanced back and squinted into the gloom behind her, to the oozing arrow, embedded a few metres away in the grass, "High in poison damage apparently, I shall now attack you thoroughly with this Cruel Colossus, here."
Azrael cocked his bow in one fluid, well-trained movement, but Dace waved a tired hand, "Just kidding. Seen Tarquin? Last I saw, he was being saved by a short dick."
Meanwhile, in Moo Moo Farm.
"I'll save you Tarq!" yelled Baron Schnitzel. He hated his parents, just because of his name. They had a strange idea about formal titles. They heard people were born with them. They didn't want little Schnitzel to be left out.
Summoning his golem and a few hundred skeletal mages (which, upon appearance, seemed to slow time down just slightly; every so often, people would find themselves making jolty movements that they couldn't explain), Schnitzel charged into the skirmish of Hell Cows. He ran out promptly, a few second later, dragging Tarquin by the foot (who was currently unconscious (again), his head bouncing along the turf).
Once he had gotten a safe distance away, he cast a bone wall around them and perched himself on top, watching the battle with an insane grin fixed to his face.
About half an hour later, his grin was fading. Every so often, he had to re- curse the cows again. Killing hordes of evil beings was hard work alone. Presently, Tarquin woke up,
"What happened?" he murmured groggily.
"Dace happened." He sighed.
"Oh.Where is she now?"
"Killing legions of the undead without us, I presume."
"Ah. I see." But really, he didn't.
"So.where, currently, would you say we are?"
Dace frowned. She always did whilst she was thinking.
"The...Black Marsh.?"
"And Baal is where, exactly?" queried the archer.
"Akara said he was somewhere in the deserts of..of..Ara.Aranoch?"
"Damn. We've got quite a way to go, then. Apparently there's some big evil thing where the Sisters of the Sightless Eye used to live."
Azrael looked around and squinted. He cocked his bow and shot into the gloom. As the arrow left his bow it turned blue, freezing the air around it. There was a dull thud and the sound of a now dead, undead corpse falling to the ground.
Dace raised he eyebrows,
"Nice shot."
"I wish I had a teleport amulet!" Baron Schnitzel wailed, kicking a tree. Then, a corpse, which was still alive, stood up clumsily,
"I thought they only slept in Nihlathak's temple.?" Tarquin was looking puzzled. Schnitzel tutted and shook his head; his mages were making light work of the zombie. The corpse lolled flimsily to the ground and went 'ping!' for no real apparent reason. There, in-between the legs and torso of the severed zombie was an amulet. Schnitzel picked it up.
"Damn! I used all my identifies picking up cruddy rares in the Cow run." he looked around. Tarquin was no where to be seen. "Tarq? Tarq.?"
"What's this?" Tarquin was running back as fast as he could, clutching a scroll with.a red clasp.
"Tarquin, I love you!" the Baron snatched the scroll and read it, "Oh my God.it's a teleport amulet!"
"But.there's only one.?" Tarq said thickly. He really didn't understand anything, Schnitzel thought to himself,
"Duh. Hold on."
Mawumph!
"Shouldn't we go back for Tarq?" Azrael was beginning to feel guilty.
"Nah," Dace frankly didn't care. She viewed guilt as a flaw in a warrior.
Mawumph! Mawumph mawumph mawumph.
A blue light sped past.
"What the..? What was that?" Azrael was slightly scared. His bow was already cocked, "Maybe Baal's got teleport.?" The light was coming back, "Run."
"No!" Dace was holding onto Azrael's arm, forcing him to stay put. The light stopped. Two figures were walking towards them.
"Sorry, I over-shot." the necromancer said sheepishly.
"Moo!"
Dace frowned,
"Oh crap! We strayed into Moo Moo Farm.I told you it was the blue portal!"
"Uh.Got my hands full at the mo'." replied Tarquin weakly, who had made a miraculous recovery.
He was almost immediately knocked out again by the Cow King.
"Jesus Tarquin..I said: NO KING!"
Dace ran and with and almighty 'mawumph!' went back through the portal. She knew Tarquin would be fine. Which he was. Sort of. She went to Akara to load up on potions, then to Charsi and got her CCB repaired (dented, thanks to Tarquin). Then she set off onto the plains outside the camp. They were kind of cold. Also, the fields were mildly stony, the woods a bit dark and the marsh? Almost black. Soon she chanced upon a minion; a zombie to be exact. He wasn't very cooperative, so Dace just had to cut him in half in one giant sweep of her sword.
It started to rain. Dace wasn't really bothered; Colossus blades were notoriously tarnish resistant. She peered through the haze.
Suddenly, without warning, an arrow whistled past her ear and she jumped back in surprise, holding her sword ready,
"Oi! Evil demons will die for that! Crap shot too.Didn't even skim me."
"Dace? Is.is that you?"
She noticed a figure running towards her, through the gloom,
"Dace! It is you!" The person beamed at her. Dace squinted, then exclaimed,
"Azrael! It's.you!"
Azrael grinned, shouldering his bow.
Oh bloody Hell, Dace thought to herself. My day just gets better. I knew I should have just stayed as the lone wolf.
"Hi there Mr. Azrael bloke!" she forced a grin. She had a headache and was sort of looking forward to doing her quests alone. When you're alone, you can talk to yourself. At least you understand what you're saying, "For nearly shooting me with an arrow which was." she glanced back and squinted into the gloom behind her, to the oozing arrow, embedded a few metres away in the grass, "High in poison damage apparently, I shall now attack you thoroughly with this Cruel Colossus, here."
Azrael cocked his bow in one fluid, well-trained movement, but Dace waved a tired hand, "Just kidding. Seen Tarquin? Last I saw, he was being saved by a short dick."
Meanwhile, in Moo Moo Farm.
"I'll save you Tarq!" yelled Baron Schnitzel. He hated his parents, just because of his name. They had a strange idea about formal titles. They heard people were born with them. They didn't want little Schnitzel to be left out.
Summoning his golem and a few hundred skeletal mages (which, upon appearance, seemed to slow time down just slightly; every so often, people would find themselves making jolty movements that they couldn't explain), Schnitzel charged into the skirmish of Hell Cows. He ran out promptly, a few second later, dragging Tarquin by the foot (who was currently unconscious (again), his head bouncing along the turf).
Once he had gotten a safe distance away, he cast a bone wall around them and perched himself on top, watching the battle with an insane grin fixed to his face.
About half an hour later, his grin was fading. Every so often, he had to re- curse the cows again. Killing hordes of evil beings was hard work alone. Presently, Tarquin woke up,
"What happened?" he murmured groggily.
"Dace happened." He sighed.
"Oh.Where is she now?"
"Killing legions of the undead without us, I presume."
"Ah. I see." But really, he didn't.
"So.where, currently, would you say we are?"
Dace frowned. She always did whilst she was thinking.
"The...Black Marsh.?"
"And Baal is where, exactly?" queried the archer.
"Akara said he was somewhere in the deserts of..of..Ara.Aranoch?"
"Damn. We've got quite a way to go, then. Apparently there's some big evil thing where the Sisters of the Sightless Eye used to live."
Azrael looked around and squinted. He cocked his bow and shot into the gloom. As the arrow left his bow it turned blue, freezing the air around it. There was a dull thud and the sound of a now dead, undead corpse falling to the ground.
Dace raised he eyebrows,
"Nice shot."
"I wish I had a teleport amulet!" Baron Schnitzel wailed, kicking a tree. Then, a corpse, which was still alive, stood up clumsily,
"I thought they only slept in Nihlathak's temple.?" Tarquin was looking puzzled. Schnitzel tutted and shook his head; his mages were making light work of the zombie. The corpse lolled flimsily to the ground and went 'ping!' for no real apparent reason. There, in-between the legs and torso of the severed zombie was an amulet. Schnitzel picked it up.
"Damn! I used all my identifies picking up cruddy rares in the Cow run." he looked around. Tarquin was no where to be seen. "Tarq? Tarq.?"
"What's this?" Tarquin was running back as fast as he could, clutching a scroll with.a red clasp.
"Tarquin, I love you!" the Baron snatched the scroll and read it, "Oh my God.it's a teleport amulet!"
"But.there's only one.?" Tarq said thickly. He really didn't understand anything, Schnitzel thought to himself,
"Duh. Hold on."
Mawumph!
"Shouldn't we go back for Tarq?" Azrael was beginning to feel guilty.
"Nah," Dace frankly didn't care. She viewed guilt as a flaw in a warrior.
Mawumph! Mawumph mawumph mawumph.
A blue light sped past.
"What the..? What was that?" Azrael was slightly scared. His bow was already cocked, "Maybe Baal's got teleport.?" The light was coming back, "Run."
"No!" Dace was holding onto Azrael's arm, forcing him to stay put. The light stopped. Two figures were walking towards them.
"Sorry, I over-shot." the necromancer said sheepishly.