YET ANOTHER STORY
Chapter Twenty:
Forgiveness
"We're supposed to meet up with everyone in Sloane, Nebraska," Sai said. "Ayuru, could you please see where it is on the map?" Ayuru obediently reached for the glove compartment and opened Myojuan's Book O' Maps…or maybe it was Shouka's brother's Book O' Maps. Whatever, it was there.
"What all's in Sloane, Nebraska?" Tom blinked.
"Sai," I tugged on his sleeve, "who'd they find? You didn't say yet."
"Sorry," he said. "I just wanted us to know where we're headed first. They found Amiboshi in a Pizza Hut in Lincoln."
I grinned. "Aww, Amibooooshiiii!! He was so nice! …Well…until he tried to kill us with his flute and screwed up the whole summoning thing."
"There is that one little blemish to his fine name," Sai agreed. "Miaka said he has fragmented memories, but knew enough to believe them when they approached him."
"Does he still play that annoying fuckin flute?" Gen-chan growled.
"Truthfully, I didn't have the chance to inquire."
"Hey, what all's in Sloane, Nebraska?" Tom asked again, a little more firmly. "Ain't nothin there, from what I heard, 'cept a big old prison."
Sai took this in, nodding slowly. "Well," he said, "it's funny you should mention that."
"Oh no, what?" I said tentatively. "She wasn't calling you from inside a cell, was she?"
"No, no; nothing like that," Sai assured me. "It's just…Amiboshi, or Koutoku, as he's known now, seems to have a twin brother, just like in the past. And, also just like in the past, this twin brother seems to be…rather…" He fumbled for words. "Ir…irritable."
"So the fuckin twin's in prison, that what's up?" Genrou muttered.
"That would be what's up." Sai coughed into his left fist. "Miaka didn't give me the exact details of why he's there, but the fact is, he is there, and we have to get him out."
"Su…Suboshi…" I mumbled, and caught Sai's arm. "Suboshi…Sai, Taka's not gonna like that. He's really not gonna like that…"
He patted my hand. "Remember, it's in the past. I'm sure Taka will be wise enough to see past what happened in the past."
But something had sparked in my memory, the image of Tamahome with red in his eyes, glowing with rage, struggling toward the wall while the smell of blood hung in the air…
"I was there, Sai," I whispered. "I was there. I was there. And he's not gonna forgive so easily, not after that." Not just that, but how was Taka going to react to seeing Ayuru? How was Ayuru going to react to seeing Taka?? It was one thing to be around people you hurt in the past, but it was something completely different to meet someone who hurt you. We all knew this, but Ayuru…
Those kids that Suboshi killed, Tamahome's siblings…they're alive today. I've seen them. I've met them. So they're back in Taka's life now, they're not dead. Will that be enough to keep him in check? Will it?
When we found those kids, all that blood, I cried in front of people for the first time in eight years… It was almost like Kourin, but so much more horrible…
"Stop," Sai breathed gently in my ear, his arms around me again. "Don't think about the past. What will happen, will happen. Worrying about it won't do you any good."
He was right. With effort, I took a deep breath and shut out my memories, closing my eyes until they were gone.
"Only about a hundred and fifty miles to Sloane," Myojuan called back to us. "We can do it in two hours or so."
"Fuckin Speedy Juanzales," Genrou mumbled.
"All right. The others are farther south than we are, so it shouldn't take them much less than that," Sai said.
~*~
It was a long two hours. Not only was I excited about seeing everyone again, I was anxious about the others meeting Ayuru, and Ayuru meeting them…and then there was the whole thing with seeing Chuin again, and I wondered exactly how that would pan out. I knew Sai wasn't gonna like it at all. I'd forgiven Ayuru, but Chuin had hurt us in this life, which made a whole lot of difference to Sai.
Then, of course, I began to realize that we had three out of seven Seiryuu seishi: Nakago, Tomo, and now Amiboshi. We knew where a fourth one was, and that the psycho fifth one had probably captured the sixth one. That must mean that we were close to whatever Final Battle Thing the fates had in store for us, and while that was kind of the point of our whole Quest For Seishi, I didn't like the Final Battle idea. They were potentially dangerous, after all. And if one of us got hurt, or even killed…
If anyone dies, it better be me, because I wouldn't be able to take it if it was anyone else.
"Hm?" Sai said, pulling his neck away so he could look me in the face.
Crap. I KNOW I didn't say that out loud.
But obviously, I had, so I just looked up and smiled and said, "All that breakfast made me really full. Pity me."
"Ohh, how sad," he said unconvincingly, but snuggled me fondly despite his teasing. "Ryuuen has a full stomach; the world mourns."
I sighed and leaned in closer, gripping his sweater more tightly. His was gold, to match his eyes; the one I wore was royal blue. I suppose that, to the casual observer, we looked like we were advertising some sort of sports event.
Insipidly, and making sure not to say it out loud this time, I promised myself that if someone had to die, it sure as hell wouldn't be Sai.
"Are we there yet?" Gen-chan called. He'd been doing so on and off for nearly twenty minutes, but Myojuan had been patient with him, perhaps to discourage him from attempting to annoy him further.
"Actually…yes," Myojuan replied. "We'll be there soon."
"Didn'tcha see? The sign just said Sloane, Five Miles," Tom put in.
"Well, I wasn't on your side of the fuckin van, so I didn't see the sign."
"Aw, Gen-chan, that's too bad," I said. "You should open up your eyes and see the sign."
Sai groaned. "I knew that was coming."
"I saw the sign, I opened up my eyes and saw the sign, life is demaaanding without understaaanding…" Tom and I sang, though he gave it a slightly country twang, which was weird, for that song.
"Don't you fuckin start," Gen-chan growled warningly.
"It's kinda weird that we're meeting at a prison," I continued, not phased. "Then again, I guess we don't really know the area well enough to pick out a restaurant to meet at, or anything."
"Yeah…at least this place has big brown signs," Tom agreed, gesturing to the side of the road where a sign saying "East Sloane Penitentiary" was posted right below the fast food exits.
We followed the signs without singing until we finally came to the place, big and gray with a watch tower at each corner, out in the middle of the wilderness. And when I say wilderness, I mean prairie grass. There was no trace of civilization in sight but the roads; I supposed that was pretty good planning, because those escaped prisoners wouldn't have anywhere convenient to hide out for a good ten miles in each direction.
When I saw Houjun's car sitting in the outer parking lot, I nearly started bouncing in my seat. It really hadn't been that long since we'd seen the others, but given the danger that certainly surrounded us, I was overjoyed to be reunited with them again. A quick look around found them sitting in a grassy area and talking, and I figured they'd just had lunch, or one of Miaka's hourly snacks.
As soon as Myojuan parked, I pushed past Tom and Gen-chan and flew out the door, running over to the little picnic area. They saw me coming and smiled, and Miaka and Taka stood and hurried to meet me; Miaka grabbed someone sitting beside her and pulled him with her, and logic decreed that it had to be Amiboshi. Leaping into them, giggling, I put my arms around both of them. "MIAKATAKAAAAA!"
"A civilized hello to you, too!" Taka laughed. "How was the tr…?"
"Didja bring me a muffin??!" Miaka exclaimed, clamping her arms around my chest and trying to jump up and down. Taka sighed and rolled his eyes, but a smile played at the corner of his mouth.
"Nice to see you, too," I said pointedly, looking down at her.
She stuck out her bottom lip. "Heyyy, I hugged you first, didn't I, Ryuu-chan?"
I shook my head, smiling. "Okay, okayyy…"
"Oh! This is Koutoku," Miaka exclaimed, shoving Amiboshi forward. He was probably around the same age as everyone else, but on the younger end of the spectrum, with light brown hair held back by a headband—even in this life, he didn't lose the freaking headband?!—and was dressed in a ripped, baggy pair of jeans and a worn black T-shirt. I couldn't tell what the T-shirt was advertising since he was wearing one of those padded winter vest things; his was bright orange and made my eyes hurt. Goose bumps were plainly visible on his arms, leading me to question once again the point of this type of jacket. It couldn't fit over anything thicker than a flannel shirt; was it just some sort of plot by the People Who Want Everyone In The World To Get Frostbitten Arms Organization?
…Then again, I realized I'd forgotten my own jacket in the van, so that made me even worse than he was.
Amiboshi smiled sheepishly and waved. "N…Nuriko-san," he greeted timidly, and I smiled back.
"It's nice to meet you again," I said, and we shook hands. He was taller than I was, but not by much. Not that I could really tell with any degree of accuracy. Well, at least Amiboshi seemed sane and serious about the whole being a reincarnated seishi business.
"Nice to meet you, too," he returned.
"Didja bring me a muffin??!" Miaka asked again, getting a little overexcited. "Sai said he would!"
Turning around, I saw the others approaching; Sai was toting a paper bag, which he raised and jiggled, showing that the cell-phone promise of baked goods had been remembered.
"There he is!" Miaka crowed. "Ohhh! Ryuu-chan, Ryuu-chan! Introduce us to Tama-neko!" Grabbing my sleeve, she pulled me off in the opposite direction of the picnic to where Tom, Myojuan, and Genrou were walking. I found myself without voice to protest, she had moved so quickly (and skillfully snagged the muffins and toast from Sai as we passed), and a funny thought started inching its way into my head.
Ahhh, I get it. This is "Mission: Intercept Ryuuen Before He Sees Chuin." They must've planned it out beforehand. Howwwww sneaky.
Resigned, I let myself be dragged, but Tom needed no introduction. In no time, he and Miaka were jumping up and down and hugging each other, with Taka and Gen-chan as sweat-dropping bystanders. Myojuan continued on to join the others, and Ayuru…
I blinked, standing on my tiptoes to see over Gen-chan's shoulder. Ayuru was still hanging by the van, digging around in the trunk for…something. Detaching myself from Miaka's firm grip on my sweater, I headed back toward him.
He was probably scared. He knew he was going to meet at least one of his old seishi companions, as well as Miaka, whom he'd nearly raped, and Taka, whom he had to remember. Tamahome had found more negative attention at the hands of Nakago himself than the rest of us put together; we were mostly attacked by other seishi on his orders. Myself and Ashitare, Amiboshi at the ceremony, Miboshi and Chiriko… But Tamahome had been a prisoner in Kutou, I remembered, and for quite a while, as well. He had to remember that.
Ayuru didn't look up when I approached, but pretended to keep digging through the luggage in search of something. He reached out an arm suddenly and silently handed me my coat, then continued to look.
I accepted his offering; I'd been too excited to think about being cold when I'd run out of the van. "Thanks."
I was rewarded with a flicker out of the corner of his eyes and a tight smile.
"Ahem," I cleared my throat, shrugging into my jacket and buttoning it up. "Whatcha lookin for?"
"My gloves." No hesitation.
I smiled at him. "Did you try your jacket pocket?"
He paused, then put a hand to the bulge in his pocket, where I'd seen him put his leather gloves before we left the hotel. Raising his eyes to meet mine, he did the tight smile thing again and nodded. "Thank you." He backed away and closed the trunk, then set about putting the gloves on.
"…Ayuru?" I ventured.
He didn't respond, but I thought he cocked his head toward me the slightest bit.
I kinda wanted to ask him if he was okay, and give him some kind of peppy speech on acceptance, or something. But I didn't think he'd really respond well to that; I think he was still too proud, and kept his emotions too much in check. He wouldn't want us to think he was weak in any area at all, even when it was completely understandable. So I just smiled again and took his hand. "C'mon," I said. "I'll introduce you to everybody." And somehow, he let me guide him over to the others.
When we got there, I saw that Houjun and Myojuan had strategically placed themselves on either side of Sai, and Taka was guarding Genrou. I began wondering if they'd actually made charts or something to choreograph their attempt to keep the stress over Chuin to a minimum. All five of them were all the way across the circle from Chuin, who was sitting there hugging his knees and looking really pitiful. Upon seeing him, my heart gave one irregular beat and was silent; it wasn't at all the extreme emotional reaction that the others (and myself) had been expecting. Except for the whole stalking thing, it wasn't Chuin's looks that bothered me, because he hadn't looked like Chuin at all when he'd…you know.
His shoulders were hunched up, either with cold or because he was trying to hide. He was shivering; again, it could have been because of the cold, or else…just emotional baggage manifesting itself physically. Slightly apart from the rest of the group, he looked like a high school outcast no one wanted to sit too close to for fear of damaging his or her fragile reputation. And as I stopped, mere feet away from the circle, my heart actually started to ache with his pain.
He didn't mean it. It wasn't his fault; whatever Miboshi did to him messed with his mind, because he NEVER would have done something so scary by himself. That whole thing with the restaurant, so long ago…well, if that had happened in broad daylight, chances are it wouldn't have been as bad. I really don't know. But he wouldn't have gone that far on his own…
"Ryuuen," Sai called, "come sit by me, sweetie."
I realized I'd been standing there mulling for a good amount of time, and probably gave the impression of one who was frozen by fear. Quickly, I looked up and smiled at Sai to prove him wrong on that count; his face was worried, and he kept darting looks over in Chuin's direction, as if the guy was gonna make a move for me at any second, or something.
Be brave, Ryuuen. Be brave. The strongest one is the one who forgives, remember?
Taking a deep breath, my legs shaking despite myself, I walked to Chuin's side.
I hope you know what you're doing, Body. The Mind doesn't need any more disturbances, thankyouverymuch…
Slowly, I sank to my knees beside him, my hand finally sliding from Ayuru's, who had stood with me all the while like a personal body guard. I was mildly aware of the aforementioned reincarnated shogun taking a seat between myself and Tom, and more aware still of the fact that Chuin had stiffened.
Not knowing what else to say, I said, in a quiet voice, "Whazzaaaap?"
Slowly, he raised his head, peering out at me with wide yellow eyes.
the same eyes, the same eyes that Sai had when he was Sai and I knew they weren't his I knew they weren't his
for crying out loud, Ryuuen, do you know what you're doing? You can't handle this now, it's those eyes, those eyes…
But I wouldn't give in. Even though my memory had my by the throat, I wouldn't give in; I was stronger than that. I knew I was.
Chuin looked like he wanted to run away, or cry, or die, or all three at once. His face was pained, like he was expecting me to rip out his hair, or something; he had circles under his eyes that were even darker than mine were, and he looked pale to the point of ill health. Whatever intimidating qualities he'd had had completely disappeared, and he looked…almost childish, somehow.
I really didn't know what to say. "Whazzaaaap" had hardly been appropriate. But I had to show him I didn't hate him, that I'd forgiven him. Because…somewhere along the line, I had. So, with only a moment of hesitation, I leaned forward and hugged him.
I had become something of a hugging machine lately.
The moment I touched him, he shivered violently, and nearly jerked away; but I held on, and moments later, he gave up. With a shaky breath, he reached out tentative arms and placed them gently around my back; there was a part of me that was horrified by this, even disgusted, I'm ashamed to say. There was a part of me that didn't like him touching me at all, and tried to force the reasons why into my head. But I shut my eyes and beat that part into submission…and that's when Chuin started to cry.
"I'm…I'm so sorry…" he choked, barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, so sorry…"
I could only nod, not up for speaking just yet. It dawned on me that everyone was watching us, and that made me a little uncomfortable…but we wouldn't have been able to progress very far if there was so much tension between us, so I had to do this. I had to.
He cried a little bit more, then pulled away, looking at me with pleading eyes… When they were filled with tears, I found, they weren't so scary. "I would never hurt you, never," he wept. "I'm so sorry, Ryuuen…"
"Goddammit, Ryuuen!! I knew you were a fuckin pansy, but I didn't think you were this fuckin bad!!" Genrou roared. Lifting my head, I saw that he had stood up, and was clenching his fists, glaring at us. "After what that little piece of shit did, after what you fuckin went through, it's over just like that??!! What a fuckin joke!!!"
Chuin cringed, and I felt anger rising in my chest. Rising to my feet, I jutted out my jaw at my best friend. "Why don't you just leave him alone? It's my decision to forgive him, not yours!"
"I fuckin saw what he did to you," he growled back, voice shaking. "I fuckin saw it in your eyes. If you woulda fuckin seen yourself that night…"
"It could've been anyone, Genrou!" I yelled, a familiar burning in my eyes. "It could've been any one of us! What if it was you that was taken by Miboshi?? What if it was Houjun, or Taka, or Sai??! If it was you who had your mind screwed around with, no matter what you did, we'd forgive you! No matter what!" I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very tired. "No matter what you did," I repeated more quietly, "we would forgive you. Because it wouldn't really have been you; it would've been Miboshi. Miboshi was the one who attacked me. Miboshi. Not Chuin."
Gen-chan's eyes had widened slightly, his fists uncurling and hanging limply at his sides. His chest, formerly puffed up in righteous wolfish rage, seemed to have deflated like a balloon, leaving him empty; it would appear as it he'd not fully considered the possibility that someone else could have been taken and turned. It certainly would have been easier for Miboshi to hurt Miaka, taking people she knew and trusted and using them to…using them for his own means.
But he'd gotten Chuin, simply because Chuin was always alone.
I sighed, tilting my chin down and wrapping my arms around myself. I should have guessed that this issue wasn't going to be resolved just by me taking steps to resolve it. My stupid over-protective friends were gonna make it more and more difficult.
I felt something brush against my arm, and looked up to see that Sai had come to my side without me even noticing. He took me gently by the shoulders, studying my face with a solemn expression, before drawing me into him and kissing my head. When he pulled away, he was wearing a little smile, so I gave him one in return; then, releasing me, he turned to Chuin, who was hugging his knees again and looking very afraid.
The muscles in his jaw tightened as he looked at the former Seiryuu seishi, and I saw him struggle with himself. I think everyone else, even Amiboshi and Tom and Ayuru who were more or less out of the loop, was holding their breath; I know I was. I knew Sai could never completely forgive Chuin, even though I also knew he understood the truth behind the incident, with Miboshi as the instigator. But even so, he reached for Chuin's shaking hands, gently pulling the reluctant and frightened young man to his feet. They were about the same height, I noticed in slightly displaced surprise; I'd always pictured Sai as taller, maybe because he was a little heavier.
My heart was beginning to pick up speed, sending echoes into my head as I waited for something to happen. And then…something did happen.
Sai, his mouth set firmly, took Chuin by the shoulders as he had me not three minutes before; slowly, he moved his head forward, stretching his neck upward, and brushed his lips against Chuin's pasty forehead.
"It wasn't your fault," he said quietly. "It wasn't your fault, and…you have my forgiveness."
Chuin's mouth fell open slightly, his bottom lip shaking as twin tears streaked down his face. He shut his eyes and lowered his head, and I swiped at my own eyes, which had, of course, started leaking again. I knew Chuin needed to hear those words, as much from Sai as from me.
Sai removed one arm from Chuin's shoulder and held it out to me, and I pressed myself into him, giving Chuin a tearful smile. He hesitated before smiling back, the expression somehow unfamiliar, as if he hadn't smiled in a long time.
The thought sprang to my mind that Chuin really really REALLY needed a Sai. He needed someone to hug him and not be uncomfortable doing so; he needed someone to listen to him, to help him through whatever he was going through, so he wouldn't have to be lonely. And before I knew what was happening, I'd opened my mouth and said, in a somewhat clogged voice, "Chuin…I am so gonna hook you up with someone when this is all over."
And everyone laughed, even Chuin.
TBC…YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!! Take One:
From the Author's Keyboard
Mouse-chan: **typing** "Ahem," I cleared my throat, shrugging into my jacket and buttoning it up. "Whatcha lookin for?"
"My gloves." No hesitation.
I smiled at him. "Did you try your jacket pocket?"
He paused, then put a hand to the bulge in his…oh god, Trixie's gonna have a field day with that. --;
(Love ya, Trixie. ^_~ )
Take Two:
Ryuuen: **narrating** My heart was beginning to pick up speed, sending echoes into my head as I waited for something to happen. And then…something did happen.
Sai: **bitch-slapping Chuin** NO ONE messes with MY Ryuu-chan and gets away with it!!! Eat dirt, sucka!!!
^_^;; ehehe.
Take Three:Ryuuen: **narrating again** …Leading me to question once again the point of this type of jacket. It couldn't fit over anything thicker than a flannel shirt; was it just some sort of plot by the People Who Want Everyone In The World To Get Frostbitten Arms Organization?
Hikitsu & Tomite: **sitting around in Hokkan rubbing their hands craftily** Bwahahahaha.
Tomite: Well…once we ship these stupid jackets to those stupid beach bums down in Kounan, our job will be complete!!
Hikitsu: Wahaha. Is there anything else we can market that would make our job even easier? Invisible socks, or something like that?
Tomite: **opening fake Hokkan Fashion Magazine** I've done even better. We're shipping these things across to all the other lands; they're supposed to advertise "Traditional Hokkan Fashions," but we've really thrown them for a loop. Look at this: thin jackets, silk pants, dinky little shoes…
Hikitsu: Will people actually be stupid enough to buy that stuff??!?! We live in the frozen north, for crying out loud!!
Tomite: You'd be surprised. An order for Hokkan garb just came in from Eiyou. They want eight sets of traditional clothing.
Both: AHAHahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!!! **diabolical laughter** ^_~
And now, it's time for…
SOME YAS HAS COOL FANS MOMENTS!!!
There're some folks out there who've done some really cool YAS and AS-related arty stuff, and I really wanna share them with everyone else. ^____^ First off, there's Nurikitsune, who's done two pictures based on my stuff and posted them in her archive. ^_^n There's one of Ryuuen with his Christmas heart wreath socks, and then there's one of Tom. ^_____^ So go check them out, they're super spiffy! Check out her other pictures, too! One of my favorites is the Nuriko montage in colored pencil…it may be old, Nurikitsune, but it's really pwetty! Thanks again, if you're reading; you rock!!
Nurikitsune's artwork: http://www.side7.com/art/halebrow/gallery.html
And recently, Akane was nice enough to write a cute poem about New Year's Eve with the seishi, from Ryuuen's POV. ^_^ She claims she can't write poetry well, but I beg to differ. ^_~ It's totally sweet! Here it is:
Gen-chan's cursing in my ear,
Miaka ringing in the new year
Taka setting up the plates,
Houjun and Doukun's rising debates
Tom purring and nuzzling with care,
Sai gently caressing my hair
And me, remembering years that have passed,
A great many that went by too fast
Memories dark and memories bright,
Playing Playstation all into the night
Quiet nights at home with Sai,
Days at school that passed us by
As I lie upon the floor,
I wonder how I lived before
I smile at the warmth of my friends,
And hope that our story never ends.
^___^n Awww, warm and fuzzy feelings!! Guys, I just wanna say thanks for liking my stories so much. You're both awesome, and I can't tell you how cool it is that you both were inspired to create something of your own after reading something I wrote. **hugs** ^____^