WARNING: IDIOTS IN THE MIROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR
PART 2 (With paragraphs! Oooooooh)
"Man, how far is there left to go?" Inferno said as he climbed to the
driver's seat of the tour bus. "Well, if I followed the map right, I think
we should see Garibaldi any minute now." Gage said. Inferno pressed his
face against the glass to get a better look. "Don't do that. It smudges the
glass," Gage said. "Hey- I'm on my half of the glass. You just worry about
your half," Inferno replied. "Since when do you get half of the wind
shield?" Gage asked, laughing a little. "Since always. To guys, one
windshield. It's logical to split it in half," Inferno explained. "Look-
dividing mutual possessions didn't work on I love Lucy and it's not going
to work for us!" Gage said. "Well, if we're comparing ourselves to I love
Lucy, I get to be Ricky!" Inferno said, followed by a chorus of
'babbaloos.' "Well, there it is," Gage said, seeing the mountain
silhouetted against the gray sunrise. "I wonder if anyone else is here?"
Inferno questioned.
His question was answered by the appearance of the other busses in the parking area. They stepped outside to see the massive form of Boris and the sight of Fisher in his underwear jumping up and down. "Hey guys- what's with the underwear?" Gage asked as he looked at Fisher jump and rub his arms. "Giving Fisher a taste of Russia's weather," Boris said. He was clad in a beater and his cammo pants, and acted like it was nothing. "I s-said th-th-that Ru-Russia pr-probably wa-wasn't tha-that c-c-c-cold," Fisher said as he shivered in his Spider-Man boxers. "Well, that's what you get for messing with Mother Russia," Gage said, high-fiving Boris. Fisher went over and hugged Inferno. "I-Inferno g-g-good. Wa-warm," he said. "Ok, I think his brain froze," Inferno said. "Let's get him inside before he gets any permanent damage," Gage said. "SANCTUARY!" Fisher said as he ran inside. "So, is anyone else here?" Inferno asked. "I think Marisol and Seeiah are camping outside of the shopping mall, Oni, Lorelei and Lilo are watching some movie in Elise, Kaori and Zoe's bus, and Mac and Moby are getting a practice run in," Boris said in one breath. "Jeez! Are you the concierge or something?" Inferno asked with mock disgust. "Nah. I just notice things. Like you fly is down, for instance," Boris said. Inferno turned around abruptly to tend to his problem. "So. all those girls are in the same bus, watching a movie? Maybe we should check it out." Gage said with a slight grin. "Not with what they're watching." Fisher said, stepping back outside in five layers of clothing.
Meanwhile, in Zoe's bus, Elise shifted on the couch uncomfortably. "This is the last time we let Kaori rent a movie," she said as she glared at the TV. Zoe, Elise, Oni, and Lilo managed to squeeze onto the small couch while Lorelei sat on the recliner and Kaori sat on the floor in front of the TV. "Isn't this a great movie?" Kaori asked with a big smile. "Yeah. Digimon sure is action packed," Zoe said sarcastically. "Yeah. I'd rather sleep on Luther's floor," Oni said. All of the room occupants shuddered at that prospect. "Actually, it's not that bad. The drawings are pretty good and I like Mimi's outfit. I wonder if they make those in my size because it's kind of hard to find clothes that fit because I'm so small and I can usually only find kid's clothing but sometimes I'm luck and I can find-" "Fascinating, Lilo, but I really don't care that much," Lorelei said. "Hey Elise- is that idiot still standing outside in his underwear?" Oni asked. "Nope. Looks like he wised up. Too bad though. He looked good in them," she said with a slight smile. After 15 minutes, the movie was over. "FINALLY! That movie was enough to drive me insane!" Oni said. "I'm still bored. What are we going to do now?" Lilo said. "Well, we could always heckle the monkeys." Zoe said, motioning outside. The girls piled out of the bus and headed over to the small group of racers outside of Boris and Fisher's bus.
"Oh lord. They're coming this way," Gage said as the large group of women approached them. "Relax. I for one, have nothing to worry about!" Fisher said. "Why? Are you a ladies man or a chick magnet or something?" Boris asked. "No. Come to think of it, I haven't much real interaction with the opposite sex since 8th grade." Fisher said. "That's reassuring." Gage said. "Why? You don't like girls or something?" Inferno asked. "NO! I mean, I'm just a little shy." Gage said. "Oh. You could not say anything. I did that a lot and look where I am now!" Fisher said. "You? Not say anything? That must take divine intervention!" Elise said as they stepped up. "Oh. Uh. well. gotta go!" Fisher said as he ran for his bus. "So much for Gilligan. Hey there guys," said Oni said. "Konichiwa Inferno, Gage and Boris!" Kaori said. Gage and Boris suddenly became very interested in their feet. "So what are you up to?" Lorelei asked. "Nothing much. Just talking about the upcoming race," Inferno said. "Right. We have a race don't we? I know because Rick told me that I was starting in the 4th box and that I had to get in third place or higher to advance and I hope that I make it because I really want to make my friends and family proud even though I'm not to good at racing I like to do it anyways-" She was cut off by a bus doing a bank turn, sending a shower of snow and grovel over the racers. Out stepped Psymon, clad in ragged jeans. "LADIES!! HOW GOOD IT IS TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" He said and ran over to Oni, picking her up in a bear hug. "Oni! Did you miss us?!" He said. "Like a root canal!" Oni replied once air flowed back into her lungs. "I told ya she dug the tattoos, Chris! But no, you had to be the wussy ink pessimist!" Psymon paused, and said, "I don't like that tone of yours, Chris! How about I wear that wool sweater you don't like, eh? The one that drives you insane with itchiness!" Psymon said. "Who's he talking to?" Lorelei asked Zoe. "He's talking to an old friend of his," she said. "I feel like I'm missing something," Lilo replied. "It's like his Jiminy Cricket or something," Elise replied. "Whatever it is, Psymon-san is scary," Kaori said as she walked off.
After dragging Gage and Boris to Fisher's bus, Gage shook off Inferno's hand. "What was that all about?" he asked. "Aw. I'm sorry. I should have let you standing there like a pair of gaping goldfish!" Inferno said. He picked up a rock and threw it at Fisher's window. He threw it a little too hard as it shattered the glass, and hit Fisher on the head. Fisher looked at the glass, the rock, and the trio outside. "This bus does have a door, for future reference," he said. "What? And pass up the opportunity to pummel you with rocks?" Inferno said. "What do ya want?" he asked. "Grab your board. We're going for a practice run!" Inferno said. "Oh. Ok," Fisher said. After a few minutes, he came out clad in cargo khakis, a white t- shirt, and a blue anorak with rolled up sleeves over it. To top it off, he grabbed a floppy brimmed fly fishing cap and jammed it on his head. He grabbed his board and walked outside, to find it empty. "Where are you guys?" he asked. Inferno stepped out, clad in his white disco pants, black shirt, red ascot, and a white disco coat. In his hand he carried a board that shined like a disco ball. "And they said Disco died," He laughed. Gage was wearing baggy stone (A/n: what does this even mean?) cargo pants and a blue hoody wit the word 'pride' on the front. With him he had a board with a hawk embezzled on it. "Fly high, baby!" He finally turned to Boris, who wore his traditional arctic cammo pants and combat boots, along with a coat that hid his chin and ski goggles. He carried a board that depicted a tundra blizzard. "Another cold day in-" "Wait- do we have to say witty or catchy catch phrases?" Fisher asked. "Oh. I guess not," Boris said. They walked over to the gondola and hopped in, starting the slow ride up the mountain. "Wait for us!" they heard Lilo scream. They turned around to see Oni, Lilo, and Lorelei following them, Lilo clad in neon-green flares, blue shirt and a black sweater coat. Oni wore a tight red t-shirt with baggy combat boots and bulky combat boots. Lorelei followed in an ice blue tube top with black cargo pants. "Why aren't you with your friends?" Gage asked. "Well, we're newbies too! And I sure as hell ain't going to race blind tomorrow," Oni said. "Makes sense to me," Inferno said as they piled in the gondola. "Hey- I didn't know there were people watching!" Boris said as he looked below. Sure enough, there was a small crowd below waiting for the racers. "Well, I never denied any fans the pleasure of seeing me race," Oni said. "What's with the hat?" Lorelei said, pointing at Fisher's hat with a grin. "Oh. It's me racing hat. A good luck charm for me," Fisher said scientifically. "Ok professor. We're almost there," said Boris, looking out the window. "Yeah, Boris. I've been meaning to ask you something." Oni said, trailing off, leaving Boris to jump to conclusions. "What? Uh. Oni you're a very nice girl and all, but I just don't feel the way you do." He stammered. "What? NO, you idiot! I just wanted to know where you got your boots!" Oni said. "What?" Boris asked. "Your boots. I had to shell 30 bucks for these things on ebay. Where. Do. You. Get. Yours?" Oni asked slowly. "Oh. I got them at a store in my hometown," He said, shamefully, though trying to smile. "Whoa. Ego crusher, isn't it?" Inferno whispered. "Yeah," Boris replied quietly. "Don't worry dude. Egos heal," Gage replied. "Yeah. Did I ever tell you the story of my first date?" Fisher asked. "No. What happened?" Lilo asked. "Well, it's a sad story, but shed no tears for the Fisher-man. I was 13, nerdy, geeky, dorky, all that jazz. Well, anyways, there was this girl, that I uh. liked. The popular, all American cheerleading type, right? So, the students found out, and after much heckling, they set her up on a date with me. So I go, and when I'm at the place where I'm supposed to meet her, the student body was there instead. They made fun of me, laughed at me for fooling with my life, and some jerks beat me up. That, my friend, kills your ego," Fisher said. "My god." Gage said. "That's so sad," Lorelei said. "Well what did you do? You didn't go back to the school, did you?" Lilo asked. "Hey look- We're here!" Fisher said as the arrived at the top. They went over to the starting line- the boxes weren't going to be set up until tomorrow- as Oni surveyed the starting line. Seeing everyone was ready, she gave the thumbs up to the man in the control panel. The starting signal turned on as the lights went from red to yellow, and finally to green. The boarders pushed off, as they made their way across the starting curve and to the first big jump. "WAAAHOOO!" Boris said as he tweaked an Indy grab. Inferno managed to pull a front flip 360, whereas Fisher fell after trying a double back flip. "You ok there, Fisher-man?" Lila yelled. "Oh Yeah! This is the rush I needed!" Fisher hollered. The racers made there way through the icy ridge, and came out on there first big jump. "Hey Oni and Boris! Let's give these people a show!" Gage yelled as he went off the jump. He leaped off of his bindings to the back of the board with arms spread as the board slowly started to tilt backwards. Oni screamed, "Baka Ni all the way, baby!" as she pulled a Rake air with a double back flip onto the board. Boris pulled his Uber trick as well, holding the board parallel to him as he threw a few punches at it. "Yeah, Rocky!!!" Fisher yelled. The racers came back to earth, and the race continued. They followed the bank turns as they approached the fork in the trail, which led to a double-helix jump sequence. "Hey Inferno, Lilo and Lorelei! Let's not be outdone!" Fisher yelled. They all took the jump as Inferno moon-walked to the end of his board, back flipping off of it and grabbing the board at the same time, and completed the flip while attaching the board. Lilo quickly stepped to the back of her board, cart wheeled to the front, and hand-springed back to the middle. Lorelei, not to be outdone, jumped from her board like a high-dive. Grabbing the board as she plummeted, she quickly reattached the board as the crowd hooted at her speed. Lastly, Fisher grabbed his board, and held it like a guitar. His hands moved up and down the board with surprising speed while belting out the opening stanza to "History of a Life in a Boring Town." (A/N: It's me favorite song, By Less then Jake) He quickly put his board back, as the racers continued on. The racers pulled in, glad that they were able to finish the track. "Well, that was fun," Gage said. "Yeah. That course is steep," Lilo said. "Well, I'm glad we go to test in out, because on the race tomorrow, we got to think as fast as we race, or we'll never win," Oni said.
His question was answered by the appearance of the other busses in the parking area. They stepped outside to see the massive form of Boris and the sight of Fisher in his underwear jumping up and down. "Hey guys- what's with the underwear?" Gage asked as he looked at Fisher jump and rub his arms. "Giving Fisher a taste of Russia's weather," Boris said. He was clad in a beater and his cammo pants, and acted like it was nothing. "I s-said th-th-that Ru-Russia pr-probably wa-wasn't tha-that c-c-c-cold," Fisher said as he shivered in his Spider-Man boxers. "Well, that's what you get for messing with Mother Russia," Gage said, high-fiving Boris. Fisher went over and hugged Inferno. "I-Inferno g-g-good. Wa-warm," he said. "Ok, I think his brain froze," Inferno said. "Let's get him inside before he gets any permanent damage," Gage said. "SANCTUARY!" Fisher said as he ran inside. "So, is anyone else here?" Inferno asked. "I think Marisol and Seeiah are camping outside of the shopping mall, Oni, Lorelei and Lilo are watching some movie in Elise, Kaori and Zoe's bus, and Mac and Moby are getting a practice run in," Boris said in one breath. "Jeez! Are you the concierge or something?" Inferno asked with mock disgust. "Nah. I just notice things. Like you fly is down, for instance," Boris said. Inferno turned around abruptly to tend to his problem. "So. all those girls are in the same bus, watching a movie? Maybe we should check it out." Gage said with a slight grin. "Not with what they're watching." Fisher said, stepping back outside in five layers of clothing.
Meanwhile, in Zoe's bus, Elise shifted on the couch uncomfortably. "This is the last time we let Kaori rent a movie," she said as she glared at the TV. Zoe, Elise, Oni, and Lilo managed to squeeze onto the small couch while Lorelei sat on the recliner and Kaori sat on the floor in front of the TV. "Isn't this a great movie?" Kaori asked with a big smile. "Yeah. Digimon sure is action packed," Zoe said sarcastically. "Yeah. I'd rather sleep on Luther's floor," Oni said. All of the room occupants shuddered at that prospect. "Actually, it's not that bad. The drawings are pretty good and I like Mimi's outfit. I wonder if they make those in my size because it's kind of hard to find clothes that fit because I'm so small and I can usually only find kid's clothing but sometimes I'm luck and I can find-" "Fascinating, Lilo, but I really don't care that much," Lorelei said. "Hey Elise- is that idiot still standing outside in his underwear?" Oni asked. "Nope. Looks like he wised up. Too bad though. He looked good in them," she said with a slight smile. After 15 minutes, the movie was over. "FINALLY! That movie was enough to drive me insane!" Oni said. "I'm still bored. What are we going to do now?" Lilo said. "Well, we could always heckle the monkeys." Zoe said, motioning outside. The girls piled out of the bus and headed over to the small group of racers outside of Boris and Fisher's bus.
"Oh lord. They're coming this way," Gage said as the large group of women approached them. "Relax. I for one, have nothing to worry about!" Fisher said. "Why? Are you a ladies man or a chick magnet or something?" Boris asked. "No. Come to think of it, I haven't much real interaction with the opposite sex since 8th grade." Fisher said. "That's reassuring." Gage said. "Why? You don't like girls or something?" Inferno asked. "NO! I mean, I'm just a little shy." Gage said. "Oh. You could not say anything. I did that a lot and look where I am now!" Fisher said. "You? Not say anything? That must take divine intervention!" Elise said as they stepped up. "Oh. Uh. well. gotta go!" Fisher said as he ran for his bus. "So much for Gilligan. Hey there guys," said Oni said. "Konichiwa Inferno, Gage and Boris!" Kaori said. Gage and Boris suddenly became very interested in their feet. "So what are you up to?" Lorelei asked. "Nothing much. Just talking about the upcoming race," Inferno said. "Right. We have a race don't we? I know because Rick told me that I was starting in the 4th box and that I had to get in third place or higher to advance and I hope that I make it because I really want to make my friends and family proud even though I'm not to good at racing I like to do it anyways-" She was cut off by a bus doing a bank turn, sending a shower of snow and grovel over the racers. Out stepped Psymon, clad in ragged jeans. "LADIES!! HOW GOOD IT IS TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" He said and ran over to Oni, picking her up in a bear hug. "Oni! Did you miss us?!" He said. "Like a root canal!" Oni replied once air flowed back into her lungs. "I told ya she dug the tattoos, Chris! But no, you had to be the wussy ink pessimist!" Psymon paused, and said, "I don't like that tone of yours, Chris! How about I wear that wool sweater you don't like, eh? The one that drives you insane with itchiness!" Psymon said. "Who's he talking to?" Lorelei asked Zoe. "He's talking to an old friend of his," she said. "I feel like I'm missing something," Lilo replied. "It's like his Jiminy Cricket or something," Elise replied. "Whatever it is, Psymon-san is scary," Kaori said as she walked off.
After dragging Gage and Boris to Fisher's bus, Gage shook off Inferno's hand. "What was that all about?" he asked. "Aw. I'm sorry. I should have let you standing there like a pair of gaping goldfish!" Inferno said. He picked up a rock and threw it at Fisher's window. He threw it a little too hard as it shattered the glass, and hit Fisher on the head. Fisher looked at the glass, the rock, and the trio outside. "This bus does have a door, for future reference," he said. "What? And pass up the opportunity to pummel you with rocks?" Inferno said. "What do ya want?" he asked. "Grab your board. We're going for a practice run!" Inferno said. "Oh. Ok," Fisher said. After a few minutes, he came out clad in cargo khakis, a white t- shirt, and a blue anorak with rolled up sleeves over it. To top it off, he grabbed a floppy brimmed fly fishing cap and jammed it on his head. He grabbed his board and walked outside, to find it empty. "Where are you guys?" he asked. Inferno stepped out, clad in his white disco pants, black shirt, red ascot, and a white disco coat. In his hand he carried a board that shined like a disco ball. "And they said Disco died," He laughed. Gage was wearing baggy stone (A/n: what does this even mean?) cargo pants and a blue hoody wit the word 'pride' on the front. With him he had a board with a hawk embezzled on it. "Fly high, baby!" He finally turned to Boris, who wore his traditional arctic cammo pants and combat boots, along with a coat that hid his chin and ski goggles. He carried a board that depicted a tundra blizzard. "Another cold day in-" "Wait- do we have to say witty or catchy catch phrases?" Fisher asked. "Oh. I guess not," Boris said. They walked over to the gondola and hopped in, starting the slow ride up the mountain. "Wait for us!" they heard Lilo scream. They turned around to see Oni, Lilo, and Lorelei following them, Lilo clad in neon-green flares, blue shirt and a black sweater coat. Oni wore a tight red t-shirt with baggy combat boots and bulky combat boots. Lorelei followed in an ice blue tube top with black cargo pants. "Why aren't you with your friends?" Gage asked. "Well, we're newbies too! And I sure as hell ain't going to race blind tomorrow," Oni said. "Makes sense to me," Inferno said as they piled in the gondola. "Hey- I didn't know there were people watching!" Boris said as he looked below. Sure enough, there was a small crowd below waiting for the racers. "Well, I never denied any fans the pleasure of seeing me race," Oni said. "What's with the hat?" Lorelei said, pointing at Fisher's hat with a grin. "Oh. It's me racing hat. A good luck charm for me," Fisher said scientifically. "Ok professor. We're almost there," said Boris, looking out the window. "Yeah, Boris. I've been meaning to ask you something." Oni said, trailing off, leaving Boris to jump to conclusions. "What? Uh. Oni you're a very nice girl and all, but I just don't feel the way you do." He stammered. "What? NO, you idiot! I just wanted to know where you got your boots!" Oni said. "What?" Boris asked. "Your boots. I had to shell 30 bucks for these things on ebay. Where. Do. You. Get. Yours?" Oni asked slowly. "Oh. I got them at a store in my hometown," He said, shamefully, though trying to smile. "Whoa. Ego crusher, isn't it?" Inferno whispered. "Yeah," Boris replied quietly. "Don't worry dude. Egos heal," Gage replied. "Yeah. Did I ever tell you the story of my first date?" Fisher asked. "No. What happened?" Lilo asked. "Well, it's a sad story, but shed no tears for the Fisher-man. I was 13, nerdy, geeky, dorky, all that jazz. Well, anyways, there was this girl, that I uh. liked. The popular, all American cheerleading type, right? So, the students found out, and after much heckling, they set her up on a date with me. So I go, and when I'm at the place where I'm supposed to meet her, the student body was there instead. They made fun of me, laughed at me for fooling with my life, and some jerks beat me up. That, my friend, kills your ego," Fisher said. "My god." Gage said. "That's so sad," Lorelei said. "Well what did you do? You didn't go back to the school, did you?" Lilo asked. "Hey look- We're here!" Fisher said as the arrived at the top. They went over to the starting line- the boxes weren't going to be set up until tomorrow- as Oni surveyed the starting line. Seeing everyone was ready, she gave the thumbs up to the man in the control panel. The starting signal turned on as the lights went from red to yellow, and finally to green. The boarders pushed off, as they made their way across the starting curve and to the first big jump. "WAAAHOOO!" Boris said as he tweaked an Indy grab. Inferno managed to pull a front flip 360, whereas Fisher fell after trying a double back flip. "You ok there, Fisher-man?" Lila yelled. "Oh Yeah! This is the rush I needed!" Fisher hollered. The racers made there way through the icy ridge, and came out on there first big jump. "Hey Oni and Boris! Let's give these people a show!" Gage yelled as he went off the jump. He leaped off of his bindings to the back of the board with arms spread as the board slowly started to tilt backwards. Oni screamed, "Baka Ni all the way, baby!" as she pulled a Rake air with a double back flip onto the board. Boris pulled his Uber trick as well, holding the board parallel to him as he threw a few punches at it. "Yeah, Rocky!!!" Fisher yelled. The racers came back to earth, and the race continued. They followed the bank turns as they approached the fork in the trail, which led to a double-helix jump sequence. "Hey Inferno, Lilo and Lorelei! Let's not be outdone!" Fisher yelled. They all took the jump as Inferno moon-walked to the end of his board, back flipping off of it and grabbing the board at the same time, and completed the flip while attaching the board. Lilo quickly stepped to the back of her board, cart wheeled to the front, and hand-springed back to the middle. Lorelei, not to be outdone, jumped from her board like a high-dive. Grabbing the board as she plummeted, she quickly reattached the board as the crowd hooted at her speed. Lastly, Fisher grabbed his board, and held it like a guitar. His hands moved up and down the board with surprising speed while belting out the opening stanza to "History of a Life in a Boring Town." (A/N: It's me favorite song, By Less then Jake) He quickly put his board back, as the racers continued on. The racers pulled in, glad that they were able to finish the track. "Well, that was fun," Gage said. "Yeah. That course is steep," Lilo said. "Well, I'm glad we go to test in out, because on the race tomorrow, we got to think as fast as we race, or we'll never win," Oni said.