"Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined"
-Hooters/Fisher's motto
PART 3
"So how does this work again?" asked Inferno. "Look, it's very simple. This event is divided up into 3 races. To advance, racers must place in the top 3 positions," Rick said. "Wait- what?" Fisher said through a mouthful of waffles. "I was talking about the races today," Rick said. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN RACES?" Fisher yelled, spewing waffle chunks everywhere. "Yeah. Do you know what you're here for, sugah?" Seeiah asked. "Umm. to race?" He replied innocently. "Well, I'M impressed. Must be a regular Einstein," said a sarcastic voice from the door. The group turned around to see a blonde woman standing in the doorway, wearing combat boots, black boarding pants, and a Godsmack t-shirt over a blue long sleeved shirt under it. "ALEXIA?! YOU'RE HERE TOO? THAT'S WONDERFUL!" Psymon said. "It's just like my high school reunion -except they let me take off my shock collar!" he said.
"Hello, Alexia. Are the others with you?" Rick asked. "Yes they are," said a gruff voice. In walked a tall man wearing black jeans, a plaid shirt, and a leather jacket. "The names Nick Rose," He said. "Hello, Mr. Rose," Rick said. "Heh. Mr. Rose. What a wimpy name," chuckled Luther quietly. Nick was on him like a hawk. He bent down real close to his ear and said, "Alright, listen lunchbox. I don't like you. I don't like you a lot. So I'm only gonna say this once. Mess with me, and I'll FRIGGIN DROP YOU WITH A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER!" Nick roared into his ear. He went back to Rick's side, taking the papers Rick gave him. "Is Demi with you?" He asked. "Yes," said a quiet but audible voice.
In strode an Asiatic woman clad entirely in black. She took the papers from him and sat down. All was quiet for a few minutes, until Gage hesitantly raised his hand. "Yes Gage?" Rick said, not unlike a 1st grade teacher. "Well, um. if we're the racers, who be they?" He asked. "Hmm? Oh yes! They are the late arrivals. They are also competing in the SSX world circuit," Rick explained. Nick, Alexia, and Demi handed Rick the papers back. After scanning them a few times, Rick said, "Ok! Welcome to SSX! Demi, you'll be sharing a bus with Alexia. Nick, You'll be in. Brodi and Eddie's bus. "Wait- why can't he be in one of the newbies' busses?" Eddie asked. "Well, the older buses are bigger," Rick said. "Very well. Welcome aboard Nick!" Brodi said with a smile. "Don't worry, Red. I'll try to stay on your good side," Nick said to Eddie. "Excuse me, but I have to announce the starting line-up for the quarter finals," Rick said. The room quieted down as Rick read 6 names off a piece of paper.
"The starters are: Inferno, Lorelei, Moby, Demi, Elise, and Eddie. The semi-finalist racers are: Luther, Oni, and Seeiah. Lastly, the Finalists are: Zoe, Fisher, and JP. These positions are randomly drawn and final, except in the case of injury," Rick said. "All quarter finalists should prepare for their race, which starts in roughly 40 minutes," he concluded. The crowd adjourned, allowing the racers a chance to get ready. * * *
Things were starting to get a little hectic at Lilo, Oni and Lorelei's bus. "Ok, I'm nervous," Lorelei said for the seventh time. "We know. Here, take some of these," Oni said, dropping a few pills into her hand. "What are these?" Lorelei asked. Oni rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "Ritalin." Lorelei stared at her hand for a few seconds. "They're ginkgo tablets," Oni said earnestly. "Oh. What do they do?" Lorelei asked. "I don't really know. But you can get them at a gas station for a buck!" Oni replied. "Comforting," Lorelei said as she tossed the pills into the trash. Lilo strode into the room, tossing Lorelei her boots. "Best hurry up, Lorelei, or you'll be late for your race!" Lilo said with an excited smile on her face. Lorelei quickly shoved on her boots and grabbed her board. "You sure you don't want a sweater of something? It's cold out today!" Lilo said. "Relax. She's a big girl now," Oni said. "Oh yeah. Good luck, Lorelei!" Lilo said. "Yeah! Kick some ass!" Oni yelled. * * *
"Fisher- what the HELL are we listening to?" Gage asked the man holding the boom box. "It's 'Eye of the Tiger'- you know, the Rocky theme song?" Fisher asked. "Yeah. but why?" questioned Inferno. "Duh. It's the ultimate psyche-up music," Fisher said. "What are ya doing in our bus anyways? It's not like you can't do this for Lorelei or Elise." Gage said. "Oh yeah. Can I borrow a cup of sugar? I'm making brownies," Fisher stated. "How do you make brownies in a tour bus kitchenette?" Inferno asked. As if answering for him, a voice form the next bus over roared, "FISHER! CLEAN UP THIS MESS IN THE KITCHEN!!!" Fisher quickly stood in his spot calculating. "Hmm. Must of put to much yeast in it." He said as he fled for his bus. "Yeast? In brownies?" Inferno asked in disgust. "No time. Get your ass to the starting line," Gage said. "Right. Wish me luck?" Inferno asked. "Oh yeah. Make 'em eat snow," Gage added with a smile as Inferno headed for the starting line. * * *
The starting line was tense, as racers and newbies and veterans alike prepared for the first race of the season. As the racers lined up, Moby eyed the Asian girl in the stall next to him. "Well, ain't you a pretty one," he said to Demi. "Get a job," She said. She wrinkled her nose as she added, "Maybe then you can afford some mouthwash." Moby was slightly taken aback with the girl's statement. "Well, you got quite a mouth on you, don't ya? Try not to cry when to hard when I make you swallow a mouthful of snow," he retorted. Meanwhile, Inferno and Lorelei were having a slightly better time a conversing. "You nervous too?" Lorelei asked the polyester- clad man next to her. "Nope," he replied, pushing his blue hair and flicking his earring experimentally. "Really?" Lorelei asked, slightly taken aback. "Nope. I'm terrified," Inferno replied with a smile. He noticed the light ahead turned red. "Good luck," He said. "You too," Lorelei replied. The light turned from red to yellow, and finally from yellow to green. * * *
It was a rather slow start; due to the fact the fact that Garibaldi's starting area was almost flat. The racers pushed off the ground furiously to gain enough momentum for the first big jump. Moby had a bit of trouble, because the minute the he left the gate, he received a sharp elbow to the back. "Courtesy of Demi!" she yelled as she past him. Once she hit the jump, she grabbed her board from under, setting it on her head whilst screaming, "RIDE THE PIG!!!" The other racers also went airborne, as Oni bellowed "BANZAIIIIIIIIIIII!!" like a foghorn and pulling an unethical experimental 180. Inferno and Lorelei preferred to keep it simple, performing a tail grab and a 360 respectfully. As they reached the ground, they sped through the ice channel, crouching to cover more speed. They turned into the jump, and careened off of it like their behinds were on fire. They zoomed down the mountain, hitting the twin slopes with enough momentum to send them up and over.
"HEY ELISE! I'M KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!!" sang Eddie. "OH REALLY? WELL THE KING MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW HE'S LOSING TO ME!" Elise yelled back. She smiled as she hit the ground, and zoomed for the jump coming up. "Elise, you are number one- aughhh!" she screamed as she tumbled down the hill. She managed to straiten herself out, seeing Moby blast ahead of her. "YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT MOBY? HOW ABOUT WE SETTLE THIS AFTER THE RACE?" the Amazonian racer roared. Moby smiled, and raised his hand in an obscene manor. The rest of the racers flew past her, but Inferno and Eddie swooped past and picked her up on their way down. "You ok?" Inferno yelled back. "Just a broken pride- nothing a little revenge can't fix!" Elise shot back. They continued down as the race soon met the halfway point.
Demi was closing fast on Moby, who led by a hair. She could feel the icy spray of his board's wake against her face, and gritted her teeth. She was determined to show that. that. pompous windbag how she was more than just 'a pretty one.' She suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, and narrowly avoided collision with a fence. "Hey Demi! Keep your eyes on the road!" Lorelei. "Hey- no back-seat driving!" Demi retorted. Lorelei shrugged and crouched low, gaining speed. Demi did the same, and soon the pair were neck and neck with Moby. They soon emerged from the dark valley and into the sun, where the trails split. Moby, Demi and Lorelei all went right, and Eddie, Elise, and Inferno went left. Demi smiled as she hit the first of the helix jumps, earning applause from the crowd. She soon stopped smiling as she narrowly missed collision with Eddie in mid-air. "WOAH! I knew I was a chick magnet, but that was CLOSE!" Eddie yelled.
They continued down the helix, eventually finishing out on an icy slope. "Ice, ice, baby!" Lorelei sang as she flew past Inferno. "Hey! No cutting in line!" He yelled, shaking his fist. Oni soared off the icy jump, throwing her fear to the wind as she screamed, "THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE KING!" She pulled a double back flip, releasing a foot and banging her head on the front. She grunted as she came back to earth; she barely managed to land the Baka Ni air. "Almost lost it there." She muttered to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted when Elise said, "Never took you for an Elvis fan, Oni," Elise said. "Hardly. That trick was for my man Stevie," Oni said fondly. They sped down the slope, through the triple-fork jump, and into the curvy tube. "This isn't so bad," Inferno noted. "Yeah! Wish I brought a camera," Lorelei said. "Hate to interrupt, but we got a Kodak moment coming up!" Eddie said, gesturing to the large icy jump ahead of them. "Uh-oh. I got the fever." Inferno said. "What fever?" Oni asked. "DISCO FEVER, BABY!" He hit the jump, moon walking to the back of the board. He then did a handstand, spinning the board a few times, and planting his feat back on the board.
He hit the ground speeding, and realized, though his trick was fantastic, it cost him his spot. Cursing himself, he crouched low, covering lost ground. Up ahead, the tide had turned. Demi was in lead, tailed by Eddie, leaving Elise, Moby, and Lorelei competing for third. They hit the three- forked jump again pulling various grabs and tricks. Demi, feeling victory was hers, sped into the final bank and over the last jump, doing a fillet o' Stalefish whilst pulling a back flip, nabbing the gold. Eddie soared over the jump, and did the Worm air, grabbing the attention of the audience. When he landed, he yelled, "Hey Demi! First is the worst, Second is the best!" Elise gritted, saying, "He's NOT going to steal my show!" pulling a Judo air. Lorelei, following the suit, did a Magician air. "Sayonara, Senoritas!" Moby said, bypassing the jump altogether, and finishing in third. "That little weasel-" Lorelei said. She managed to beat Elise by a hair, grabbing the fourth spot. Elise sped in like a bullet, however, checking a gloating Moby into the stage.
"Whoops, didn't see ya there, Moby," Elsie said. "If you like your face the way it is, then I suggest you avoid toying with me," Moby said. "Whoa there, people. This isn't the wild west here," Inferno said, getting between them. "Well, watch yourself," Moby threatened. "Same," Elsie hissed back.
(A/N): Well, this is a Surprising turn of events! Next time- The Semi Final Races!
-Hooters/Fisher's motto
PART 3
"So how does this work again?" asked Inferno. "Look, it's very simple. This event is divided up into 3 races. To advance, racers must place in the top 3 positions," Rick said. "Wait- what?" Fisher said through a mouthful of waffles. "I was talking about the races today," Rick said. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN RACES?" Fisher yelled, spewing waffle chunks everywhere. "Yeah. Do you know what you're here for, sugah?" Seeiah asked. "Umm. to race?" He replied innocently. "Well, I'M impressed. Must be a regular Einstein," said a sarcastic voice from the door. The group turned around to see a blonde woman standing in the doorway, wearing combat boots, black boarding pants, and a Godsmack t-shirt over a blue long sleeved shirt under it. "ALEXIA?! YOU'RE HERE TOO? THAT'S WONDERFUL!" Psymon said. "It's just like my high school reunion -except they let me take off my shock collar!" he said.
"Hello, Alexia. Are the others with you?" Rick asked. "Yes they are," said a gruff voice. In walked a tall man wearing black jeans, a plaid shirt, and a leather jacket. "The names Nick Rose," He said. "Hello, Mr. Rose," Rick said. "Heh. Mr. Rose. What a wimpy name," chuckled Luther quietly. Nick was on him like a hawk. He bent down real close to his ear and said, "Alright, listen lunchbox. I don't like you. I don't like you a lot. So I'm only gonna say this once. Mess with me, and I'll FRIGGIN DROP YOU WITH A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER!" Nick roared into his ear. He went back to Rick's side, taking the papers Rick gave him. "Is Demi with you?" He asked. "Yes," said a quiet but audible voice.
In strode an Asiatic woman clad entirely in black. She took the papers from him and sat down. All was quiet for a few minutes, until Gage hesitantly raised his hand. "Yes Gage?" Rick said, not unlike a 1st grade teacher. "Well, um. if we're the racers, who be they?" He asked. "Hmm? Oh yes! They are the late arrivals. They are also competing in the SSX world circuit," Rick explained. Nick, Alexia, and Demi handed Rick the papers back. After scanning them a few times, Rick said, "Ok! Welcome to SSX! Demi, you'll be sharing a bus with Alexia. Nick, You'll be in. Brodi and Eddie's bus. "Wait- why can't he be in one of the newbies' busses?" Eddie asked. "Well, the older buses are bigger," Rick said. "Very well. Welcome aboard Nick!" Brodi said with a smile. "Don't worry, Red. I'll try to stay on your good side," Nick said to Eddie. "Excuse me, but I have to announce the starting line-up for the quarter finals," Rick said. The room quieted down as Rick read 6 names off a piece of paper.
"The starters are: Inferno, Lorelei, Moby, Demi, Elise, and Eddie. The semi-finalist racers are: Luther, Oni, and Seeiah. Lastly, the Finalists are: Zoe, Fisher, and JP. These positions are randomly drawn and final, except in the case of injury," Rick said. "All quarter finalists should prepare for their race, which starts in roughly 40 minutes," he concluded. The crowd adjourned, allowing the racers a chance to get ready. * * *
Things were starting to get a little hectic at Lilo, Oni and Lorelei's bus. "Ok, I'm nervous," Lorelei said for the seventh time. "We know. Here, take some of these," Oni said, dropping a few pills into her hand. "What are these?" Lorelei asked. Oni rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "Ritalin." Lorelei stared at her hand for a few seconds. "They're ginkgo tablets," Oni said earnestly. "Oh. What do they do?" Lorelei asked. "I don't really know. But you can get them at a gas station for a buck!" Oni replied. "Comforting," Lorelei said as she tossed the pills into the trash. Lilo strode into the room, tossing Lorelei her boots. "Best hurry up, Lorelei, or you'll be late for your race!" Lilo said with an excited smile on her face. Lorelei quickly shoved on her boots and grabbed her board. "You sure you don't want a sweater of something? It's cold out today!" Lilo said. "Relax. She's a big girl now," Oni said. "Oh yeah. Good luck, Lorelei!" Lilo said. "Yeah! Kick some ass!" Oni yelled. * * *
"Fisher- what the HELL are we listening to?" Gage asked the man holding the boom box. "It's 'Eye of the Tiger'- you know, the Rocky theme song?" Fisher asked. "Yeah. but why?" questioned Inferno. "Duh. It's the ultimate psyche-up music," Fisher said. "What are ya doing in our bus anyways? It's not like you can't do this for Lorelei or Elise." Gage said. "Oh yeah. Can I borrow a cup of sugar? I'm making brownies," Fisher stated. "How do you make brownies in a tour bus kitchenette?" Inferno asked. As if answering for him, a voice form the next bus over roared, "FISHER! CLEAN UP THIS MESS IN THE KITCHEN!!!" Fisher quickly stood in his spot calculating. "Hmm. Must of put to much yeast in it." He said as he fled for his bus. "Yeast? In brownies?" Inferno asked in disgust. "No time. Get your ass to the starting line," Gage said. "Right. Wish me luck?" Inferno asked. "Oh yeah. Make 'em eat snow," Gage added with a smile as Inferno headed for the starting line. * * *
The starting line was tense, as racers and newbies and veterans alike prepared for the first race of the season. As the racers lined up, Moby eyed the Asian girl in the stall next to him. "Well, ain't you a pretty one," he said to Demi. "Get a job," She said. She wrinkled her nose as she added, "Maybe then you can afford some mouthwash." Moby was slightly taken aback with the girl's statement. "Well, you got quite a mouth on you, don't ya? Try not to cry when to hard when I make you swallow a mouthful of snow," he retorted. Meanwhile, Inferno and Lorelei were having a slightly better time a conversing. "You nervous too?" Lorelei asked the polyester- clad man next to her. "Nope," he replied, pushing his blue hair and flicking his earring experimentally. "Really?" Lorelei asked, slightly taken aback. "Nope. I'm terrified," Inferno replied with a smile. He noticed the light ahead turned red. "Good luck," He said. "You too," Lorelei replied. The light turned from red to yellow, and finally from yellow to green. * * *
It was a rather slow start; due to the fact the fact that Garibaldi's starting area was almost flat. The racers pushed off the ground furiously to gain enough momentum for the first big jump. Moby had a bit of trouble, because the minute the he left the gate, he received a sharp elbow to the back. "Courtesy of Demi!" she yelled as she past him. Once she hit the jump, she grabbed her board from under, setting it on her head whilst screaming, "RIDE THE PIG!!!" The other racers also went airborne, as Oni bellowed "BANZAIIIIIIIIIIII!!" like a foghorn and pulling an unethical experimental 180. Inferno and Lorelei preferred to keep it simple, performing a tail grab and a 360 respectfully. As they reached the ground, they sped through the ice channel, crouching to cover more speed. They turned into the jump, and careened off of it like their behinds were on fire. They zoomed down the mountain, hitting the twin slopes with enough momentum to send them up and over.
"HEY ELISE! I'M KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!!" sang Eddie. "OH REALLY? WELL THE KING MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW HE'S LOSING TO ME!" Elise yelled back. She smiled as she hit the ground, and zoomed for the jump coming up. "Elise, you are number one- aughhh!" she screamed as she tumbled down the hill. She managed to straiten herself out, seeing Moby blast ahead of her. "YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT MOBY? HOW ABOUT WE SETTLE THIS AFTER THE RACE?" the Amazonian racer roared. Moby smiled, and raised his hand in an obscene manor. The rest of the racers flew past her, but Inferno and Eddie swooped past and picked her up on their way down. "You ok?" Inferno yelled back. "Just a broken pride- nothing a little revenge can't fix!" Elise shot back. They continued down as the race soon met the halfway point.
Demi was closing fast on Moby, who led by a hair. She could feel the icy spray of his board's wake against her face, and gritted her teeth. She was determined to show that. that. pompous windbag how she was more than just 'a pretty one.' She suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, and narrowly avoided collision with a fence. "Hey Demi! Keep your eyes on the road!" Lorelei. "Hey- no back-seat driving!" Demi retorted. Lorelei shrugged and crouched low, gaining speed. Demi did the same, and soon the pair were neck and neck with Moby. They soon emerged from the dark valley and into the sun, where the trails split. Moby, Demi and Lorelei all went right, and Eddie, Elise, and Inferno went left. Demi smiled as she hit the first of the helix jumps, earning applause from the crowd. She soon stopped smiling as she narrowly missed collision with Eddie in mid-air. "WOAH! I knew I was a chick magnet, but that was CLOSE!" Eddie yelled.
They continued down the helix, eventually finishing out on an icy slope. "Ice, ice, baby!" Lorelei sang as she flew past Inferno. "Hey! No cutting in line!" He yelled, shaking his fist. Oni soared off the icy jump, throwing her fear to the wind as she screamed, "THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE KING!" She pulled a double back flip, releasing a foot and banging her head on the front. She grunted as she came back to earth; she barely managed to land the Baka Ni air. "Almost lost it there." She muttered to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted when Elise said, "Never took you for an Elvis fan, Oni," Elise said. "Hardly. That trick was for my man Stevie," Oni said fondly. They sped down the slope, through the triple-fork jump, and into the curvy tube. "This isn't so bad," Inferno noted. "Yeah! Wish I brought a camera," Lorelei said. "Hate to interrupt, but we got a Kodak moment coming up!" Eddie said, gesturing to the large icy jump ahead of them. "Uh-oh. I got the fever." Inferno said. "What fever?" Oni asked. "DISCO FEVER, BABY!" He hit the jump, moon walking to the back of the board. He then did a handstand, spinning the board a few times, and planting his feat back on the board.
He hit the ground speeding, and realized, though his trick was fantastic, it cost him his spot. Cursing himself, he crouched low, covering lost ground. Up ahead, the tide had turned. Demi was in lead, tailed by Eddie, leaving Elise, Moby, and Lorelei competing for third. They hit the three- forked jump again pulling various grabs and tricks. Demi, feeling victory was hers, sped into the final bank and over the last jump, doing a fillet o' Stalefish whilst pulling a back flip, nabbing the gold. Eddie soared over the jump, and did the Worm air, grabbing the attention of the audience. When he landed, he yelled, "Hey Demi! First is the worst, Second is the best!" Elise gritted, saying, "He's NOT going to steal my show!" pulling a Judo air. Lorelei, following the suit, did a Magician air. "Sayonara, Senoritas!" Moby said, bypassing the jump altogether, and finishing in third. "That little weasel-" Lorelei said. She managed to beat Elise by a hair, grabbing the fourth spot. Elise sped in like a bullet, however, checking a gloating Moby into the stage.
"Whoops, didn't see ya there, Moby," Elsie said. "If you like your face the way it is, then I suggest you avoid toying with me," Moby said. "Whoa there, people. This isn't the wild west here," Inferno said, getting between them. "Well, watch yourself," Moby threatened. "Same," Elsie hissed back.
(A/N): Well, this is a Surprising turn of events! Next time- The Semi Final Races!