WORMS MAKE DIRT!
"But I didn't know it was against the rules!" Oni said to a very pissed off Rick.
"What do you mean you didn't know? I called 6 names! One of them wasn't yours! Therefore, you shouldn't have been on the track!" Rick yelled. "Do you understand English!?" Oni just stared at him, the gears turning in her head. Finally she smiled and said, "Uh. I don't speak English, Rick. I'm Japanese, remember?" Rick looked confused, and replied, "Of course you speak English! You're speaking it right now!" Oni smiled as she shook her head. "No I'm not," she said. "Yes you are!" Rick yelled. "Am not!" Oni yelled back. "ARE TOO!" Rick retorted. "I'M NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH, DAMMIT!" Oni yelled. "THEN WHAT ARE WE SPEAKING?!" Rick yelled back, starting to sound unsure of himself. "JAPANESE, YOU BAKA! AND MIGHT I ADD YOU HAVE A NICE ACCENT!" Oni screamed as she stormed off, leaving a very confused Rick who kept mumbling, "I speak Japanese.?"
Fisher had just watched the whole thing from his bus. "Dude- when it comes to reverse psychology, Bugs Bunny's got nothing on that girl! Am I right, Boris?" Fisher asked. "Boris? Where are ya?!" the poncho-clad boarder yelled. Realizing his bus-mate was not on the bus, He decided to go looking for him. "The Game is afoot!" He yelled as he ran out the bus. "Yo! Mac! You see any 350 pound Russian guys anywhere?!" He yelled at Mac's bus. "Nah, man! But check out this new beat I came up with!" Mac replied. "Maybe later!" Fisher said as he left. He snuck around the bus area a little more until he found himself in the lodge. Sure enough, his Russian friend was sitting at a corner table, alone. "Hey Boris! What's up?" He said as he sat down. "Ah. Nothing," Boris replied as he sipped his coffee. "You sure?" Fisher asked. Boris didn't reply. Fisher tried to get his attention, but couldn't coax a response form the man. Finally, he turned to see what Boris was staring at. "The only thing in that direction is." He muttered as he saw Kaori sipping tea with Lilo. "DUDE! You got a thing for Kaori, eh? You dog, you!" Fisher said slyly as Boris stopped staring. "What are you talking about? I was just. watching the stars, that's all!" Boris replied as he turned beet red. "Boris, I may have been a nerd, but I've watched enough 'Boy Meets World' episodes to know when someone's gotta crush," Fisher said. "Is it that obvious?" Boris replied innocently. "Nope. Between all the wishful stares, blushing and depressed sighs, I just thought you had diarrhea or something. But this makes as much sense," Fisher replied.
"Mind if I sit here?" asked a voice. They looked up to see Zoe. "Sure. It's not my table," Fisher said as she sat down. "So- How are you noobs holding up?" Zoe asked. "Pretty good. Can't speak for Goliath over here, but we're looking forward to our next matches," Fisher replied. Boris just ignored her. "What's with him?" She asked. "Good question. I'd say either the chili, or he's got it BAD for Kaori," Fisher replied. "Oh. I see it now. Well, there's only one way to clear this up." Zoe said as she signaled Kaori and Lilo to join them. "WHAT!? No!" Boris said, but it was too late. "Relax, Boris- this isn't a time to panic," Fisher said. "This is a perfect time to pa- Hello, Kaori," Boris said smoothly. "Hi Fisher-san! Hi Boris-kun!" they both said as they sat down. "You think you're going to win today, Fisher?" Lilo asked. "Eh. I'm not too good at winning things. I may like to board, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it," Fisher replied. "Good for you! All this tea is making me hungry. But I can't make up my mind! So many choices." Kaori and said. "You're one for talking, aren't you? I'd ask Boris. He's been here a while," Zoe replied. "What would you suggest, Boris-kun?" Kaori asked innocently. Boris suddenly blanked. Crap! Can't remember anything! There's got to be something I can say! Boris thought. He desperately looked around the room, stuttering, "I liked the. uh." Suddenly he locked eyes with the stuffed moose over the fireplace. "MOUSE! The mouse was very good!" Boris said. "They have mouse here?" Kaori asked. "Uh. yeah! But it was so good, Boris and I finished it this morning, when we had breakfast," Fisher said. "Mouse. for breakfast?" Lilo asked, smiling a little. "Yep. It's quite good on toast," Boris replied, as they walked off.
* * * "All right- you talked to her! The first step is taken!" Fisher said happily. "What are you talking about? We just made ourselves look like a bunch of idiots!" Boris said. "You worry too much. What we pulled back there- that's the summary of my entire dating experi-" Fisher said as he collided with Rick. "BORIS! I was looking all over for you!" Rick said, completely out of breath. He tried speaking again, but couldn't stop panting, so he tried to converse with elaborate hand gestures. "What's he doing? Dancing?" Fisher asked. "I think he's trying to tell us something! What is it, boy? Is Timmy trapped in the well?" Boris asked. "Is someone talking to Lassie?" a voice said. The two racers looked up to see two guys carrying boards in front of them. "Who're you?" Boris asked. "The name's Kael. My friends call me Shadow," the first one said. He had spiky black hair and red eyes. "Call me Ryuki," The other said quietly. "Two newer guys? That's pretty righteous. I'm Fisher, and this is Boris. Rick'll take care of ya," Fisher said to the two new boarders.
"Really? I think Rick's dead," Shadow said as he poked Rick's collapsed body with his toe. "Hmm. What should we do?" Boris asked. "If he's still alive, let's steal his organs and leave him in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice," Ryuki said. Rick immediately got up as the others backed away from Ryuki slowly. "I'm just kidding," Ryuki said as he smiled. "Right. Boris- You got ten minutes to get to the summit- You're taking a spot in the semi-finals," Rick said. "What? Why?" Boris asked. "Oni entered the race as a seventh racer. The officials disqualified her from today's races," Rick replied. "So she just raced as an extra and she got disqualified?" Fisher repeated. "Well, she convinced several of the officials they speak fluent Japanese," Rick said. Ryuki cocked an eyebrow at this. "Well?! What are you still doing here?" Rick said. "Yeah Boris! The sooner you finish, the sooner we can eat those brownies I made!" Fisher yelled. "Oh god! I think I'll take my time!" Boris yelled back.
* * *
Boris stepped out of the gondla, running to the starting gate. "Maybe I shouldn't drink so much coffee next time," he mumbled to himself. "Just a bit more incentive to make it down the mountain fast," said Seeiah, who was in the next spot. "No kidding," Boris replied. Suddenly, Moby strutted into the spot on Seeiah's other side. "Hey," Moby said to her. "Can I help you?" Seeiah asked. "I know what you're thinking, mate. And the answers is yes, I am available," Moby said. Boris repressed a laugh at the cheesy line. "You got a problem, Mate?" Moby asked. "No, Moby," Boris said, failing to suppress the laughter. "We'll see if you're still laughing when I acquaint you to the rock wall," Moby said. Boris tensed after this. "Shut up, Moby!" Seeiah said. "Just relax and have fun, Boris. Don't be so tense," she reassured him. "It's not that, but if we don't go soon there's gonna be some yellow snow in this gate!" Boris yelled. Suddenly the light flashed red, then yellow, and finally green. The racers shoved off, and Boris unfortunately forgot about the beginning jump.
"I don't think I have to go to the bathroom anymore!" he yelled as he soared through the air. The other racers fared better, pulling 360's and various grabs like they were going out of style. They zoomed through the icy chute, and Boris mumbled a prayer as he hit the next jump. He then pulled out his ultimate crowd pleaser: The Punch-bag Air. He removed his board and dealt a few punches, then a mean left hook to send it down to earth as he fell on it. "Go Eddie! Bust a move!" Eddie yelled, and actually did a handstand while boarding. Moby used the opportunity to check him into the fence. "Hey Moby! Come here for a hug!" Demi yelled, throwing all her weight into a tackle. "Bloody Hell!" Moby screamed as the petite boarder sent him flying down the mountain on his backside.
Boris was in third, behind Seeiah and Luther. The path ahead forked into two helix-like paths. "Right? Or Left?" He asked. By that time he was halfway down the right side. "Oh well! Here goes nothing!" He said, pulling an Unethical Experimental front flip 360. He barely landed it when he yelled, "OH YEAH! From Russia with Love, Baby!" Luther went to knock him down in his little victory dance, but missed. "Luther says stay still, Russia-boy! You're gonna lick snow from Luther's boot!" he yelled, giving Boris a mighty shove. Boris grabbed both arms, keeping Luther from using them. Neither of them noticed the jump ahead.
"Let go a me, mamma's boy!" Luther yelled. "The minute I let go you're gonna shove me!" Boris yelled back. They both yelled when they flew off the jump. They landed, Boris still having a grip on Luther's forearms. "Look out below!" Demi yelled, as she his the same jump. Both Luther and Boris whimpered when they saw her landing spot. They both yelled as Demi landed right where Boris held Luther, forming a little human pyramid. The crowed went wild at the sight. "Sorry Demi- I need my arms back!" Boris and Luther said as they catapulted her into the air. Demi responded with, "RIDE THE PIG!" as she straddled her board. With mighty shove, Boris released Luther and sped down the mountain before Luther made him sorry. Eddie was neck and neck with Moby, who both were just in front of Luther, With Seeiah close behind. Suddenly, they were entering the final turn, and Moby gained a small lead over Eddie. He then shoved his arm out, clothes lining Eddie, who in turn, crashed into Luther who tripped Seeiah. "Cheers mate!" Moby yelled as he sped down, over the jump, and nabbing the second place.
Boris stopped when he saw he fellow boarders fall. He looked at the finish line, then back at the racers. Finally, he made his way up to the fallen trio. "You guys ok?" he asked as he pulled Luther up. "My leg- I don't think I can stand," Seeiah said. "I think I pulled a muscle," Eddie said. "I'm ok, but Moby gonna pay for what he did to Luther!" Luther yelled. Boris grabbed Seeiah, hooked under one arm, and Eddie, hooked under the other arm. He slowly finished the race as Luther trailed behind. "You could of beaten Moby- Why didn't you?" Seeiah asked as they crossed the finish line, with Boris grabbing third. Boris shrugged as the medics rushed to them. "Hey Fisher- how'd I do?" Boris yelled to his Bus-mate. "I haven't seen a better win ever!" Fisher yelled back.
A/N: YES! More Moby bashing! More to come soon, kiddos! So until then. KEEP WATCHING THE STARS!
"But I didn't know it was against the rules!" Oni said to a very pissed off Rick.
"What do you mean you didn't know? I called 6 names! One of them wasn't yours! Therefore, you shouldn't have been on the track!" Rick yelled. "Do you understand English!?" Oni just stared at him, the gears turning in her head. Finally she smiled and said, "Uh. I don't speak English, Rick. I'm Japanese, remember?" Rick looked confused, and replied, "Of course you speak English! You're speaking it right now!" Oni smiled as she shook her head. "No I'm not," she said. "Yes you are!" Rick yelled. "Am not!" Oni yelled back. "ARE TOO!" Rick retorted. "I'M NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH, DAMMIT!" Oni yelled. "THEN WHAT ARE WE SPEAKING?!" Rick yelled back, starting to sound unsure of himself. "JAPANESE, YOU BAKA! AND MIGHT I ADD YOU HAVE A NICE ACCENT!" Oni screamed as she stormed off, leaving a very confused Rick who kept mumbling, "I speak Japanese.?"
Fisher had just watched the whole thing from his bus. "Dude- when it comes to reverse psychology, Bugs Bunny's got nothing on that girl! Am I right, Boris?" Fisher asked. "Boris? Where are ya?!" the poncho-clad boarder yelled. Realizing his bus-mate was not on the bus, He decided to go looking for him. "The Game is afoot!" He yelled as he ran out the bus. "Yo! Mac! You see any 350 pound Russian guys anywhere?!" He yelled at Mac's bus. "Nah, man! But check out this new beat I came up with!" Mac replied. "Maybe later!" Fisher said as he left. He snuck around the bus area a little more until he found himself in the lodge. Sure enough, his Russian friend was sitting at a corner table, alone. "Hey Boris! What's up?" He said as he sat down. "Ah. Nothing," Boris replied as he sipped his coffee. "You sure?" Fisher asked. Boris didn't reply. Fisher tried to get his attention, but couldn't coax a response form the man. Finally, he turned to see what Boris was staring at. "The only thing in that direction is." He muttered as he saw Kaori sipping tea with Lilo. "DUDE! You got a thing for Kaori, eh? You dog, you!" Fisher said slyly as Boris stopped staring. "What are you talking about? I was just. watching the stars, that's all!" Boris replied as he turned beet red. "Boris, I may have been a nerd, but I've watched enough 'Boy Meets World' episodes to know when someone's gotta crush," Fisher said. "Is it that obvious?" Boris replied innocently. "Nope. Between all the wishful stares, blushing and depressed sighs, I just thought you had diarrhea or something. But this makes as much sense," Fisher replied.
"Mind if I sit here?" asked a voice. They looked up to see Zoe. "Sure. It's not my table," Fisher said as she sat down. "So- How are you noobs holding up?" Zoe asked. "Pretty good. Can't speak for Goliath over here, but we're looking forward to our next matches," Fisher replied. Boris just ignored her. "What's with him?" She asked. "Good question. I'd say either the chili, or he's got it BAD for Kaori," Fisher replied. "Oh. I see it now. Well, there's only one way to clear this up." Zoe said as she signaled Kaori and Lilo to join them. "WHAT!? No!" Boris said, but it was too late. "Relax, Boris- this isn't a time to panic," Fisher said. "This is a perfect time to pa- Hello, Kaori," Boris said smoothly. "Hi Fisher-san! Hi Boris-kun!" they both said as they sat down. "You think you're going to win today, Fisher?" Lilo asked. "Eh. I'm not too good at winning things. I may like to board, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it," Fisher replied. "Good for you! All this tea is making me hungry. But I can't make up my mind! So many choices." Kaori and said. "You're one for talking, aren't you? I'd ask Boris. He's been here a while," Zoe replied. "What would you suggest, Boris-kun?" Kaori asked innocently. Boris suddenly blanked. Crap! Can't remember anything! There's got to be something I can say! Boris thought. He desperately looked around the room, stuttering, "I liked the. uh." Suddenly he locked eyes with the stuffed moose over the fireplace. "MOUSE! The mouse was very good!" Boris said. "They have mouse here?" Kaori asked. "Uh. yeah! But it was so good, Boris and I finished it this morning, when we had breakfast," Fisher said. "Mouse. for breakfast?" Lilo asked, smiling a little. "Yep. It's quite good on toast," Boris replied, as they walked off.
* * * "All right- you talked to her! The first step is taken!" Fisher said happily. "What are you talking about? We just made ourselves look like a bunch of idiots!" Boris said. "You worry too much. What we pulled back there- that's the summary of my entire dating experi-" Fisher said as he collided with Rick. "BORIS! I was looking all over for you!" Rick said, completely out of breath. He tried speaking again, but couldn't stop panting, so he tried to converse with elaborate hand gestures. "What's he doing? Dancing?" Fisher asked. "I think he's trying to tell us something! What is it, boy? Is Timmy trapped in the well?" Boris asked. "Is someone talking to Lassie?" a voice said. The two racers looked up to see two guys carrying boards in front of them. "Who're you?" Boris asked. "The name's Kael. My friends call me Shadow," the first one said. He had spiky black hair and red eyes. "Call me Ryuki," The other said quietly. "Two newer guys? That's pretty righteous. I'm Fisher, and this is Boris. Rick'll take care of ya," Fisher said to the two new boarders.
"Really? I think Rick's dead," Shadow said as he poked Rick's collapsed body with his toe. "Hmm. What should we do?" Boris asked. "If he's still alive, let's steal his organs and leave him in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice," Ryuki said. Rick immediately got up as the others backed away from Ryuki slowly. "I'm just kidding," Ryuki said as he smiled. "Right. Boris- You got ten minutes to get to the summit- You're taking a spot in the semi-finals," Rick said. "What? Why?" Boris asked. "Oni entered the race as a seventh racer. The officials disqualified her from today's races," Rick replied. "So she just raced as an extra and she got disqualified?" Fisher repeated. "Well, she convinced several of the officials they speak fluent Japanese," Rick said. Ryuki cocked an eyebrow at this. "Well?! What are you still doing here?" Rick said. "Yeah Boris! The sooner you finish, the sooner we can eat those brownies I made!" Fisher yelled. "Oh god! I think I'll take my time!" Boris yelled back.
* * *
Boris stepped out of the gondla, running to the starting gate. "Maybe I shouldn't drink so much coffee next time," he mumbled to himself. "Just a bit more incentive to make it down the mountain fast," said Seeiah, who was in the next spot. "No kidding," Boris replied. Suddenly, Moby strutted into the spot on Seeiah's other side. "Hey," Moby said to her. "Can I help you?" Seeiah asked. "I know what you're thinking, mate. And the answers is yes, I am available," Moby said. Boris repressed a laugh at the cheesy line. "You got a problem, Mate?" Moby asked. "No, Moby," Boris said, failing to suppress the laughter. "We'll see if you're still laughing when I acquaint you to the rock wall," Moby said. Boris tensed after this. "Shut up, Moby!" Seeiah said. "Just relax and have fun, Boris. Don't be so tense," she reassured him. "It's not that, but if we don't go soon there's gonna be some yellow snow in this gate!" Boris yelled. Suddenly the light flashed red, then yellow, and finally green. The racers shoved off, and Boris unfortunately forgot about the beginning jump.
"I don't think I have to go to the bathroom anymore!" he yelled as he soared through the air. The other racers fared better, pulling 360's and various grabs like they were going out of style. They zoomed through the icy chute, and Boris mumbled a prayer as he hit the next jump. He then pulled out his ultimate crowd pleaser: The Punch-bag Air. He removed his board and dealt a few punches, then a mean left hook to send it down to earth as he fell on it. "Go Eddie! Bust a move!" Eddie yelled, and actually did a handstand while boarding. Moby used the opportunity to check him into the fence. "Hey Moby! Come here for a hug!" Demi yelled, throwing all her weight into a tackle. "Bloody Hell!" Moby screamed as the petite boarder sent him flying down the mountain on his backside.
Boris was in third, behind Seeiah and Luther. The path ahead forked into two helix-like paths. "Right? Or Left?" He asked. By that time he was halfway down the right side. "Oh well! Here goes nothing!" He said, pulling an Unethical Experimental front flip 360. He barely landed it when he yelled, "OH YEAH! From Russia with Love, Baby!" Luther went to knock him down in his little victory dance, but missed. "Luther says stay still, Russia-boy! You're gonna lick snow from Luther's boot!" he yelled, giving Boris a mighty shove. Boris grabbed both arms, keeping Luther from using them. Neither of them noticed the jump ahead.
"Let go a me, mamma's boy!" Luther yelled. "The minute I let go you're gonna shove me!" Boris yelled back. They both yelled when they flew off the jump. They landed, Boris still having a grip on Luther's forearms. "Look out below!" Demi yelled, as she his the same jump. Both Luther and Boris whimpered when they saw her landing spot. They both yelled as Demi landed right where Boris held Luther, forming a little human pyramid. The crowed went wild at the sight. "Sorry Demi- I need my arms back!" Boris and Luther said as they catapulted her into the air. Demi responded with, "RIDE THE PIG!" as she straddled her board. With mighty shove, Boris released Luther and sped down the mountain before Luther made him sorry. Eddie was neck and neck with Moby, who both were just in front of Luther, With Seeiah close behind. Suddenly, they were entering the final turn, and Moby gained a small lead over Eddie. He then shoved his arm out, clothes lining Eddie, who in turn, crashed into Luther who tripped Seeiah. "Cheers mate!" Moby yelled as he sped down, over the jump, and nabbing the second place.
Boris stopped when he saw he fellow boarders fall. He looked at the finish line, then back at the racers. Finally, he made his way up to the fallen trio. "You guys ok?" he asked as he pulled Luther up. "My leg- I don't think I can stand," Seeiah said. "I think I pulled a muscle," Eddie said. "I'm ok, but Moby gonna pay for what he did to Luther!" Luther yelled. Boris grabbed Seeiah, hooked under one arm, and Eddie, hooked under the other arm. He slowly finished the race as Luther trailed behind. "You could of beaten Moby- Why didn't you?" Seeiah asked as they crossed the finish line, with Boris grabbing third. Boris shrugged as the medics rushed to them. "Hey Fisher- how'd I do?" Boris yelled to his Bus-mate. "I haven't seen a better win ever!" Fisher yelled back.
A/N: YES! More Moby bashing! More to come soon, kiddos! So until then. KEEP WATCHING THE STARS!