So sorry for the long wait for a new fan fiction everyone. I've been (and still am) in a rather strong writers block for everything else I have something written for. I'm fairly close to breaking through though. At least I had an idea for this one-shot, ne? Enjoy.
Rinse
She woke suddenly, the room's shapes disfigured for but a moment. The fan hummed faintly, doing nothing to disperse the staleness hovering in the air. She inhaled deeply, letting the intoxicating breaths fill her lungs before her gaze fell lightly on the figure lying next to her.
She watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, tracing the contours of muscles she had long since committed to memory. Shifting slightly, she ran her fingers along his lower jaw line. The feel of him beneath her fingertips was invigorating, waking demanding urges and emotions that had lain dormant for so long. Her lips caressed his heated skin, lingering momentarily on his bottom lip. He moaned softly, his arms instinctively growing tighter around her fragile frame. She continued her feather-light kisses, letting her dark lashes brush tantalizingly against his cheek. Nuzzling deep into the crook of his neck, she allowed herself to be overwhelmed by his scent. There was no definable way to describe it; there was just the knowledge that it belonged to him. That was enough for her.
She resumed tracing his collarbone and savoring the feeling of his arms encased around her. She pressed herself closer to him, the feeling of skin against skin stimulating reactions similar to those she had experienced earlier that evening. Memories flooded across her vision; the intense feelings of ecstasy and fulfillment resurfacing within her. How long had she yearned to feel him? To have him wash over her in waves of passion? To have him take her in ways confined only to her dreams? A smile of contentment graced her lips, remembering the savage look that had burned in his eyes as he claimed her for his own.
She must have wished upon every star in the sky, praying for him to find her. She had wanted nothing more than to be with him, the one person that had ever understood her. And yet, every time he had gained closer to her, instincts took over and she'd fled. How could he accept her? The one that had betrayed him so long ago. How could he stand the sight of her? The woman responsible for the death of so many of his former comrades. And through all her sleepless nights, one question always stood poignant among all others. How could he love her? She did not deserve him, just as he did not deserve the painful reminders she carried with her.
Self-doubt consumed her, growing and knotting inside her chest. She would do anything to be with him, and yet, there was nothing she could do to obtain redemption. No. Nothing could reconcile the betrayal she had set against him. She did not deserve him.
Cautiously she pried herself from his loving grip, slipping from the covers without causing another wrinkle. She collected her clothes, lying scattered about the room, dressing quickly and artfully. She gathered the remainder of her belongings. She ran her fingers erratically through her tousled hair, letting it cascade in golden waves over her shoulder.
She hesitated for an instant, her fingers now hanging treacherously on the doorknob. Tears stung her eyes like a thousand hot knives. She glanced over her shoulder at the figure sprawled underneath the thin cotton sheets. His skin glowed eerily as moonlight spilled from the open window; his brow slightly furrowed at the absence of her body next to his. White-hot flashes of pain seared through her body. Her voice caught. Only a single farewell managed to pass her passion-swollen lips. "Goodbye…Nanashi…" She couldn't breath. So she ran.
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
The early morning was dim, still clinging to the dark chill of night. The sound of waves crashing upon the hull of the rusting ship was a welcomed sound compared to the raging silence that resounded in her chaos thrown mind. The wind bit at her heels, whistling and impelling her forward.
She wrapped her jacket around her shoulders tightly, pressing her small frame through the masses at the ferry's boarding docks. She adjusted her bag slightly, flashing her newly bought boarding ticket to the ferryman. "Where might a fine young lass as yerself be headin' off to at such an earlier hour?" he questioned, punching a hole in the bottom of her ticket. "I'd be takin' care Miss, these passengers seem a mighty despicable lot. I'd get yerself a nice strong lad to look after ya." She shoved past the man with less then a second glance.
She settled on a seat near the window, excluded from the rest of the boat and hidden by the shadows of the corner. Pressing her flushed cheek against the cool window, she sighed heavily. The glass fogged from her heated breath, obscuring her view of the outside channel. She rubbed it away furiously with the swipe of her fingers.
The water slapped the side of the ship, allowing it to rock into a lulling rhythm. She let her eyes gradually close, darkening the painful reality around her.
Images flashed behind her lids. Glimpses of his smile masqueraded across her mind, disguised as haunting delusions. She could still feel the soft pressure of his lips against hers. She could still feel the presence of his hands lingering on the curves of her body. She could still feel his ragged breath on her neck after release. Every fiber in her body screamed out for him.
He was the one person she craved for, the one person she fled from, and the one person that she loved.
The ship lurched, causing her to open her eyes wearily. The glass was now translucent with a thin sheen of fog. She inscribed his name into the window, reminiscing in the curves of the sprawled letters. She stared at it for a minute, before swiping it away angrily. She commanded herself to forget him, along with both the pain and pleasure his presence had brought. Her arms hung heavily at her side. She allowed a still numbness to sweep over her pain-wracked body. 'Oh Nanashi…' she whispered longingly, a solitary, crystal tear streaking down her cheek. 'I'm so sorry…'
She must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way
The boat swayed gently on the channel's waves. The soft clatter of rain on the ferry's tin roof woke her from her dreamless sleep. She stared into the torrent of water, the blues and greens clashing in furious waves. She rested her head against the window again, attempting to return to the faint sanctity of sleep.
"What are you doing?" a voice piped quietly. She again pried her eyes open to stare at the small child peering over the back of the seat in front of her. The little girl's eyes were riddled with genuine curiosity. She grinned sweetly, tilting her head to the side. Fugitive wisps of gold fell from their hold in her ponytail.
"Excuse me?" she asked drowsily. "Who are you?" The little girl's face ballooned with pride.
"My name is Gabriella Hunzaki." She quirked and eyebrow, rising to her knees to look at the somnolent lady in front of her. "What's yours?"
She shrugged, hoping the girl would lose interest and leave her to wallow in her sorrows.
"You've got to have a name!" the little girl squeaked happily, hanging over the chair, her necklace falling from beneath her jacket's collar to dangle around her neck.
"Leave me alone." She glanced from the window to the girl. "Why would you want to talk to me?"
Gabriella rocked on her heels, twirling a wisp of hair around her forefinger. "Because…" she said slowly, looking up to the ceiling as she spoke. She was quiet for a moment, tossing the answer around in her head. "Because," she answered finally, grasping the chair-back with both hands. "Because you looked so sad. You looked sad and lonely."
She couldn't take it anymore. She glared at the small girl, holding back the anger beginning to surface within her tortured soul. Her eyes burned. Her throat was parched and her lips cracked. Her limbs ached from emotional strain. She needed to feel Nanashi's arms encased around her deprived form. She would feel so much better then, she was certain of that. "You asked what I was doing," she hummed. "I'm running away."
The girl's eyes swelled. "Running away?" she echoed.
"That's right. Running away." Gabriella shook her head sympathetically.
"That's so sad. Now I know why you look so lonely." She paused for a moment then unhinged the necklace from her neck. She held it out to her, dropping it into her outstretched hand. "Here," she spoke quietly. "Take this. Now God will protect you." The little girl smiled then ran toward the front of the boat. She then turned around, cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted cheerfully. "You won't have to be lonely anymore!" Then Gabriella Hunzaki disappeared.
She opened her fist, letting her fingers linger over the golden crucifix. Memories pummeled around her; visions of a war-torn, blood-stained past thwarting her view. Her heart throbbed. How could she have let something so holy, become so damned?
How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
She needs to be held in his arms to be free
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'Til she knows that the heart of a woman can never be found in the
Arms of a man…
Her body ached. Each of her limbs felt like weights, pulling her farther and farther down. Vision shifting in and out of focus, she let the silent tears roll down her cheeks and disappear into the fabric of her jacket.
She bit her bottom lip, a last resolve to ebb the tears that flowed down her cheeks. Her attempts futile, she bit harder, the faint and salty taste of blood spilling over her taste buds. Finally she allowed the tears to fall freely and unrestricted.
She felt a pressure press upon her chest. It grew slowly until she couldn't breath.
In her mind she could feel him, his slightly calloused fingers as they wiped away her tears. He would hold her, pulling her close to him and refusing to let her go. Just like he had…just like he always would.
The night's events reeled through her memory. The instant had been so perfect, the recognition that had flickered in their locked gazes. It had been only a moment; something taken place in the time between seconds. But in that one twinkling of an eye she had found what she had lost so long ago. Her heart had returned. And finally, for once in her life, all fear had left her. There were no wars, no problems. Just Nanashi and the way she had slid perfectly into his outstretched arms. She hadn't hesitated. She didn't want to be anywhere except with him.
She could remember the way his hands explored her curves, the way his lips crushed her own, and the way he left her gasping for air. Her body shook with pleasure as he had slowly slid her shirt from her shoulders. Magic drifted through the room. His touch was electrifying, sending shocks surging through her body.
The world was a swirl of color. Nothing had made sense, coherency foreign. All she felt was him as he began their pulsing rhythm. Feel him as he quickened, his lips trailing over her exposed skin. She could remember how his name had escaped her, a shrill cry above the onslaught of ecstasy. Ramblings had spilled from his lips, the only lucid phrase a declaration of possession.
"My Midii"
Midii slipped from her dream-like state back into the bleak reality around her. She knew that she should do best to forget him, forget their night of passion. But her heart rebuked common sense and all logical reason. She needed Nanashi and yet in the same instant, he was the one thing she couldn't have.
She must rinse this all away
She can't hold anybody this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him
The rain continued to fall as absently Midii began to count the raindrops. She couldn't think of him. That part of her was dead now. There was no use crying over it.
Yet crying was all that she could manage. Angel's tears. Yes, that's what her father had called the rain. Tears from heaven. They had the power to wash away sorrows and cleanse the soul.
Midii had spent limitless nights, standing in the rain, waiting to feel the pain and sorrows rinse away from her sullied soul.
She felt a hand rest on her shoulder lightly. Her breath caught, his name automatically forming on her trembling lips.
"What's a fine girl like you doing here all by herself?" the man asked, his words slick and oily. She spun, the trail of her tears glistening in the soft glow of florescent lighting. Her fingers automatically fled to caress the necklace now adorning her bare neck. Her eyes hardened.
"Aw, don't be afraid of me…" the man crooned softly, sliding into the seat next to her. He ran his fingers down her cheek, outlining the shiny trails. He then let them trail down her neck and to her shoulder. "I'm only here to make you feel better." He leaned forward. Midii's nose wrinkled slightly at his rotting breath. "It breaks my heart to see an angel cry."
Midii's fingers left their hold on her cross to quickly block his approaching lips. She shifted to face him fully.
"Leave."
A shifty smirk smeared its way across his jagged features. "Aw, but darlin'…" His hands began to travel up her leg, stopping to rub her thighs. "I don't wanna leave yet…" His fingers moved between her legs, forcing room for his hand.
"Leave." She growled again, pulling away from him. He merely grinned.
The boat lurched as it pulled into port. Midii grabbed her bag gratefully, shoving past the man and make her way towards the front of the ship. She bolted into the rain, scarcely aware of the shadows that followed.
And as she runs away she fears she won't be followed
What could be worse than leaving something behind
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
It's loneliness she finds
If only he was mine
The rain soaked through her jacket and through her clothes, plastering her hair onto her face. She splashed through puddles, the urge to increase the distance between her and that man steadily escalating.
The mud splashed up her leg as she ran. She could hear the bustle of the ship dock as it gradually became a faint sound in the distance. Then she could hear nothing but the soft patter of rain on her face.
She stopped running. The small dirt road was lined with trees, blocking her from a clear view of the pale light sky of morning. She stood, letting heaven's tears fall over her shattered frame. In her heart she knew she should force her feet to carry her back to the boat and back home. Back to her Nanashi.
But she couldn't move. The weight of her limbs pulled her down, dragging her to the muddy path.
Midii fell into a crumpled heap in the middle of the road. She didn't cry; she simple let the rain fall over her, rinsing away her sorrows. She closed her eyes, slowly shifting into blackness. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could just fade away…
"I told you I wasn't ready to leave."
Midii's eyes snapped open. Lost in her thoughts she hadn't heard him approach. Sitting up immediately, she wiped the mud from her soaked face. Her heartbeat grew, her voice faltering.
His eyes were glistening with malice and ill desire. He licked his lips hungrily, running his tongue over the chapped and parched skin.
Midii attempted to run, staggering and falling back to the ground. Laughter rippled through the rain as he yanked her from the ground. He gripped her tightly around the arm, unaware and uncaring of the bruises formed by his fingertips. Dragging her toward the side of the road, he slammed her against the tree, her head snapping back to slam against the bark.
His arms held her pinned against the trunk. "You know," he hummed, crushing her body with his own. He released one of her arms to stroke her mud-covered face. It stood in stark contrast to her pale ivory skin. "Angels fall from heaven only when they have been corrupted. When they've become evil." His fingers clasped around the crucifix dangling around her neck. He caressed it for a moment before yanking it from her neck and tossing it to the ground. He looked back into her panic stricken eyes. "Have you been corrupted, my angel?" He smiled, his fingers grasping her throat. "Go ahead and scream," he taunted. "No one will hear you…"
Midii could feel him growing. Her heart pounded; her mind raced. Her arms were pinned. She struggled, wiggling beneath him. The reaction was aphrodisiacal. He smiled, brining himself closer and moving between her legs.
Midii brought her knee up abruptly, colliding with his groin. Desire quickly turned to pain as he fell into a heap at her feet.
Midii scrambled around him. "You wench-" he growled hoarsely. "I'll get you." His hand grasped her ankle, dragging her back down into the mud. He pulled himself toward her, hatred radiating from his features.
"Let me go!" she hollered, slipping as she made an endeavor to escape. She kicked, her boot crashing with his face. She heard the sickening snap of bone before blood spilled down his skin. The rain pelted down, mixing mud, water and blood.
Midii yanked her foot away, scrambling to flee from his iron grasp.
She ran.
She could hear his threats following her. Trailing her like death.
She ran.
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
The road was slick, the wind biting at her jacket, thrashing and swirling around her. Her heart pounded, a deafening drumming erupting in her ears. "Faster…FASTER!" she urged herself desperately, moving into a full-out sprint. Soon, trailing footfalls echoed her own. Heavier, louder they followed.
She slipped. Her ankle twisted as she again fell into the mud-covered path. Her breaths were quick and shallow. Pain consumed her body. She couldn't get away. Not now. Not ever. 'Nanashi…' Her mind screamed for him. She should never have left him.
But she couldn't do anything about that now. She couldn't get away. Her shoulders shook as tears and gasps escaped from her shattered figure. 'Let it rinse away…' she prayed. 'Please…just let it all rinse away…'
Midii's breath caught as she felt his hand rest on her shoulder.
She must rinse him
She must rinse him
She can't rinse him
She can't rinse him
She braced herself for pain, for the beating she knew would come. Her eyes remained shut, her escaping tears disguised as teardrops. Let him take her, she was nothing now. She had lost everything. There was nothing left for her. She had run away from it all.
Strong arms embraced her trembling figure and Midii was engulfed by a familiar scent. There was no definable way to describe it. She just knew…she just knew that it belonged to him.
Her eyes opened slowly, praying silently she hadn't fallen to dreams. Jade eyes stared into dove, warmth and security flooding her. She let her unsure fingers trace his face. "Is this real…?" she whispered, brushing away the hair adhering to his skin. "Oh please Nanashi," she cried, collapsing into his arms. "Tell me this is real." He said nothing, but tightened his hold and nuzzled his face into her wet mat of hair.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed, clinging to his soaked Preventer jacket. "I don't deserve you. How could I expect you to love me, when all I've ever done is bring you pain?" She nestled closer to the crook of his arm. "Oh Nanashi, how could you ever love someone as horrible as me?" Reluctantly she pulled away from his hold. "I won't cause you anymore trouble. I won't be the cause of any more of your pain…"
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him
She can't she won't, she must rinse him
Midii moved away from him, her movements slow and labored. She would not cause him any more pain…cause him more pain…
More pain…
Trowa grasped her wrist, pulling her back down to him. "Do you know why I came after you?" he crooned, brushing the hair away from her eyes. "Not because I was angry, not because I was upset…" He leaned forward, brushing his lips against her icy skin. "But because I was worried. I was not about to let you go again." He kissed the tender flesh of her neck. "I left you so many years ago, and it took me this long to find you again." He gazed into her eyes. "I don't want to do that again. Midii…" he whispered, letting her body rest on his. "I love you. I don't want to lose you again." He felt her trembling begin to subside. "My Midii…" her whispered gently, rocking her back and forth.
A roll of thunder rumbled in the distance. The rain continued to pour from the sky, teardrops from heaven. 'Let it rinse away…' Midii repeated, molding herself into his arms. 'Just let it all rinse away…'
She must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way
___________________________________________________________
Authors Note: Well? Did you enjoy? Hope so. I know…it's not one of my better fics but *shrugs*. The song Rinse is by Vanessa Carlton, from her CD "Be Not Nobody". As soon as I heard it I was convinced that it was made for Midii. Don't you agree? If you have never heard it, I strongly suggest downloading it from KaZaA or whatever programs you use. Even get the CD if you wish! Oh yeah, please review and tell me what you think!