Deleted Scenes from Star Trek, the Next Generation.
FIRST SEASON:
Picard addressing crew for the first time: This is a new show... um... I mean ship. First off I want you all to know that unlike many years ago, those of you wearing red are not necessarily going to die. Hell I'm wearing red! Also, we've decided that we don't really need a chief engineer, however in the future I may decide that the helmsman will make a good chief engineer. Oh, I expect you to not complain about the glare off my head... deal with it. That is all.
~***~
From Encounter at Far Point:
Crusher: Jean Luc, Its so good to see you again.
Picard: Yes, Beverly, its been too long.
Crusher: This is my son Wesley.
Picard: He looks so much like Jack.
Crusher: Actually he doesn't. Remember that drunken night we spent together? He's your son.
Picard looks at Wesley, pulls out his phaser, sets it to kill and shoots himself in the head.
SECOND SEASON:
Pulaski: Hi Data. I'm Dr. Pulaski. I'm here to play 'Bones' to your 'Spock'
Data: Fascinating.
ALL THE SEASONS AFTER THAT:
Riker: But Captain, what about the Prime Directive?
Picard: Fuck the Prime Directive Number One!
~***~
Picard: God I'm hung over.
Riker: Me too.
Picard: Did we get tattoos last night?
Riker: I think so....
Picard: (turning around) What does mine say?
Riker: Dude. What does mine say?
Picard: Sweet. But what does mine say?
Riker: Dude. But what does mine say?
Etc, etc, etc....
~***~
Picard wakes up in bed with two hot women. Has heart attack.
~***~
Crusher and Troi are sunbathing topless on Risa. Worf walks by and whistles admiringly.
~***~
Geordi and Riker are lying on the beach on Risa:
Riker: It's a shame you can only see heat images. These women are hot.
Geordi: Not exactly Commander. (He leans over toward Riker, revealing an X-Ray Vision switch on his visor.)
~***~
Random Alien on screen: This is war Picard!
Troi: I'm sensing hostility
Picard: No shit counselor!
~***~
During a particulary bumpy battle, Worf falls over tactical and lands in Picard's lap.
~***~
Crusher: Jean Luc, don't you want me?
Picard: Actually no. If I had my choice I'd much prefer to shag Riker. Or Worf
~***~
Picard walks into Ten Forward to find everyone in a brawl, including the Senior Staff.
Picard: What is going on here?
Geordi: We're beating up Wesley. He makes the rest of us look bad.
Picard: Yes, he is annoying isn't he? Carry on.
~***~
Poker Game:
Riker: I win again!
Picard: How is Riker winning? He's playing with an Android, a guy with X-Ray Vision and an empathy.
Data: He must just be really good at poker. Or he is cheating.
Worf: (rising out of his seat): Warriors do not cheat! (turns to Picard) Permission to kill him sir?
~***~
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW. Flames accepted! Just tell me what you thought either way!! Thanks so much!!! If I get a lot of positive reviews I'll write more!
FIRST SEASON:
Picard addressing crew for the first time: This is a new show... um... I mean ship. First off I want you all to know that unlike many years ago, those of you wearing red are not necessarily going to die. Hell I'm wearing red! Also, we've decided that we don't really need a chief engineer, however in the future I may decide that the helmsman will make a good chief engineer. Oh, I expect you to not complain about the glare off my head... deal with it. That is all.
~***~
From Encounter at Far Point:
Crusher: Jean Luc, Its so good to see you again.
Picard: Yes, Beverly, its been too long.
Crusher: This is my son Wesley.
Picard: He looks so much like Jack.
Crusher: Actually he doesn't. Remember that drunken night we spent together? He's your son.
Picard looks at Wesley, pulls out his phaser, sets it to kill and shoots himself in the head.
SECOND SEASON:
Pulaski: Hi Data. I'm Dr. Pulaski. I'm here to play 'Bones' to your 'Spock'
Data: Fascinating.
ALL THE SEASONS AFTER THAT:
Riker: But Captain, what about the Prime Directive?
Picard: Fuck the Prime Directive Number One!
~***~
Picard: God I'm hung over.
Riker: Me too.
Picard: Did we get tattoos last night?
Riker: I think so....
Picard: (turning around) What does mine say?
Riker: Dude. What does mine say?
Picard: Sweet. But what does mine say?
Riker: Dude. But what does mine say?
Etc, etc, etc....
~***~
Picard wakes up in bed with two hot women. Has heart attack.
~***~
Crusher and Troi are sunbathing topless on Risa. Worf walks by and whistles admiringly.
~***~
Geordi and Riker are lying on the beach on Risa:
Riker: It's a shame you can only see heat images. These women are hot.
Geordi: Not exactly Commander. (He leans over toward Riker, revealing an X-Ray Vision switch on his visor.)
~***~
Random Alien on screen: This is war Picard!
Troi: I'm sensing hostility
Picard: No shit counselor!
~***~
During a particulary bumpy battle, Worf falls over tactical and lands in Picard's lap.
~***~
Crusher: Jean Luc, don't you want me?
Picard: Actually no. If I had my choice I'd much prefer to shag Riker. Or Worf
~***~
Picard walks into Ten Forward to find everyone in a brawl, including the Senior Staff.
Picard: What is going on here?
Geordi: We're beating up Wesley. He makes the rest of us look bad.
Picard: Yes, he is annoying isn't he? Carry on.
~***~
Poker Game:
Riker: I win again!
Picard: How is Riker winning? He's playing with an Android, a guy with X-Ray Vision and an empathy.
Data: He must just be really good at poker. Or he is cheating.
Worf: (rising out of his seat): Warriors do not cheat! (turns to Picard) Permission to kill him sir?
~***~
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW. Flames accepted! Just tell me what you thought either way!! Thanks so much!!! If I get a lot of positive reviews I'll write more!