This is my first song fic. It's to "Where Are You Now?" by Britney Spears. I don't own anything. the song was used without permission. blah, blah, blah. u know the drill.

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::Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there::


It hurts. It hurts me every time I turn on the TV and see your face. When I go to the store, I'll see you smiling on shirts with that grin I loved so much, and still do. Now you have your own Slurpee cup and commercial on the radio! It's bad enough seeing you, but hearing your deep voice that whispered in my ear on those peaceful night in bed, it just twists the already jagged dagger in my heart.


::I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like I'm in this fight
I never seem to win::


I didn't mean to. I loved you. I still do. It's not like I purposely started fights to break us up. I thought we would be together forever. but apparently I was wrong. You were right. You were always right. Didn't you tell me that if I didn't get over my insecurities, it would just cause me to push you away? Yeah you did. Didn't you say if I shut you out, all I would be doing is hurting myself? Yeah, you told me that too.


::I can't go on
As long as I believe
Can't let go
If I keep wondering::


I have sleepless nights because I can't stop wondering if you still think about me. about us and what we had. Wondering if you've found someone new. Wondering what would have happened had we never split up. Would we eventually get married like I'd always hoped? Would we have been able to get through everything life threw at us? Together?


::Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart, when I'm not around?
Where are you now?
You gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go::


There's not a day I regret letting you leave. Not a moment that I don't wish you were still with me. Never a second that I hoped you still thought of me. Thought about whether you were with someone new.


::I can hear your voice
Ring like yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away::


I remember your days off. You'd come home to me, to our home we'd had for four months together. We'd spend the whole day doing nothing with each other. Then lay in the backyard on a blanket, me in your arms, and stare at the stars for hours. Then you'd carry me inside and we'd make love. Then you'd whisper loving words to me until I fell asleep in your arms.


::I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Revive my dignity::


I remember pleading with you during our last moments together, asking you not to leave me. But you said the damage was done. You said you loved me, but you couldn't stand to keep up a relationship like the one we had. I sacrificed my being able to see you, talk to you, kiss you, hold you, just so that I wouldn't have to tell you. Tell you about my ex-boyfriend and how he's done all the things I fear you'll do.


::But I can't go on
As long as I believe (as long as I believe)
Can't let go
If I keep wondering::


There are plenty of questions I have that will probably go unanswered. Did you ever get my letter? Was it lost in the mail, or do you know about you son? If you don't think about me, do you at least think about your son? The son you and I created together? The son that's a carbon copy of you? Do you know?


::Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart when I'm not around?
Tell me where are you now?::


You're probably in some random city. It's a Sunday. Tonight was a pay-per view. I don't order them. It hurts enough to accidentally see you on RAW. Why add to it buy actually buying the pay-per view to purposely see you? To purposely grab my own heart out and watch and feel it shatter into a billion tiny pieces from knowing that you were mine, but now you aren't?


::You gotta let me know
So I can let you go
I should let it out
It's time to let you go::


I know I shouldn't cling to you and the memory of you like this, but I can't help it. I love you. Nothing will ever change that. No one will ever change that.


::Oh baby, I just wanna know
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart (Where is your heart)?
When I'm not around (I'm not around)? ::


I can't help but think you've found someone more suited for yourself. Someone who won't cause bumps in your relationship. I can just imagine her; soft, silky hair, about shoulder length, tall, skinny, straight teeth, an amazing body, pretty much drop-dead gorgeous. It's probably one of the divas you're with now. One of the diva's that's stolen you heart.


::Where are you now?
You gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go::


Sometimes there are times where I just wish that I had never met you. I wish that I never had a longing, a need for you. I wish that I had never fallen in love with you, Rob Van Dam. I wish that the fateful day where we stumbled upon each other in the hallway in the hotel where you were staying, I wish that never took place.


::Where are you now? (Where are you now?)
What have you found? (What have you found?)
Where is your heart? (Where is your heart?)
When I'm not around? (I'm not around)
Where are you now? (Where are you now?)
You gotta let me know (gotta let me know)
Oh baby, so I can let you go::


But in the end, I know I'll always want you. Hell, I do right now! And you'll always have me. I can try, but I'll never be able to let go. You'll always and forever have my heart. So I guess in a way, it's you who'll never let go.

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Hope you all liked it! Please review! Go! Now!