~A/N~ I am sorry it has been so long since I updated. My computer got a
TERRIBLE virus that has just recently been fixed. Also I had Thanksgiving
obligations and I was out of town all last weekend and part of last week.
So, again I am sorry. This chapter is also REALLY short and I am sorry
about that oo.
Although I only got one review on the last chapter I am going to continue with this story. The End Of Forever means more to me than any of my stories. I know what it is like to be extremely ill and it gives me a sense of liberation to be able to write about it and be able to show to you all how it feels too. Although I am not dying like Maria I still know the pain she feels and I hope that you all PLEASE review this chapter. It would help me IMMENSELY to know that you are enjoying it. Even if you hate it- please review? Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Roswell- the characters you don't recognize are mine though so please don't take.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the word rushed through her brain a flood of memories raced through her. Memories of despair and memories of intense pain. She could remember back when it was all just like a bad dream. She couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was sick. Hodgkin's Disease the doctor had said- the thing that would eventually wear her down and ruin her life.
The hospital had been the worst. The stagnant smell of death that loomed through all the rooms and down the halls and reminded her so much of all the people she had lost over the years.
Oh how her mother had cried. At nights when she stayed over in Maria's room she could hear her mother's mournful sobs as they would ricochet off the bare white walls of her small hospital room. Maria would stay awake at night and listen to her mother cry until she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber. She knew what her mother was crying about and it only half had to do with Maria.
It had only been two years since her dad had left them- gone from this world up to the heaven Maria only hoped to know once she left this life. Cancer- the very thing that was going to kill her had taken her father's life first.
When Maria had achieved remission- the seemingly impossible dream of so many she knew- they thought it was finally over. Maria went back to school and started to live her life again almost as if it had never happened. She thought of it as a horrible time in her life that was over for good.
That's why she didn't even think when she started to feel the pains in her stomach again. She brushed them away as monthly cramps- but the cramps never went away. When the doctor told her there was a new tumor in her stomach she had for a brief moment been positive. A tumor she could deal with- just like she had so many times before. Little did she know it was different this time.
*Flashback*
"I don't know how to tell you this Maria. Your tumor it- well, it's metastasized. It's too large, we can't do anything. Chemo and radiation will just shrink it and give you probably a month or two more. It isn't worth the harm and damage the Chemo will do to your body. It's already weak from having been ravaged for that year. Your body can't take much more."
Maria felt the tears prick at the back of her eyes and she heard her mother's short and uneven breathing beside her. She felt bombarded- like so much information was coming down on her at once and she couldn't register and she couldn't push out from under it all- like she was drowning.
Her mother's thin fingers wrapped around Maria's arm and her nails dug through the fabric of Maria's shirt. "So, wh- what do we do doctor?" Her mother's voice held the sorrow Maria knew was deep within her soul. Maria knew the doctor's answer even before he said it.
"I'm afraid all we can do is wait and let Maria live her life now as normally she can. Let her come to terms with her disease and the fact that she will probably never come out from it."
*End of flashback*
Maria stared at her reflection the memory slipping from her mind as she examined her face. She couldn't understand how her new friends couldn't see it. The deep bags under her eyes were evident against the pale complexion of the rest of her face. She had gotten incredibly skinny as her apetite had started to slowly decrease.
Her aunt and uncle hoovered over her like she was going to stop breathing any second. She couldn't tell Liz or any of them what was wrong or she knew that they all would look at her that way too. The would look at her like a disturbing picture of the death she would soon become- shrinking back into the shadows and wondering why they had ever decided to be friends with her in the first place. She wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn't losing another friend just because of her cancer.
Although I only got one review on the last chapter I am going to continue with this story. The End Of Forever means more to me than any of my stories. I know what it is like to be extremely ill and it gives me a sense of liberation to be able to write about it and be able to show to you all how it feels too. Although I am not dying like Maria I still know the pain she feels and I hope that you all PLEASE review this chapter. It would help me IMMENSELY to know that you are enjoying it. Even if you hate it- please review? Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Roswell- the characters you don't recognize are mine though so please don't take.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the word rushed through her brain a flood of memories raced through her. Memories of despair and memories of intense pain. She could remember back when it was all just like a bad dream. She couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was sick. Hodgkin's Disease the doctor had said- the thing that would eventually wear her down and ruin her life.
The hospital had been the worst. The stagnant smell of death that loomed through all the rooms and down the halls and reminded her so much of all the people she had lost over the years.
Oh how her mother had cried. At nights when she stayed over in Maria's room she could hear her mother's mournful sobs as they would ricochet off the bare white walls of her small hospital room. Maria would stay awake at night and listen to her mother cry until she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber. She knew what her mother was crying about and it only half had to do with Maria.
It had only been two years since her dad had left them- gone from this world up to the heaven Maria only hoped to know once she left this life. Cancer- the very thing that was going to kill her had taken her father's life first.
When Maria had achieved remission- the seemingly impossible dream of so many she knew- they thought it was finally over. Maria went back to school and started to live her life again almost as if it had never happened. She thought of it as a horrible time in her life that was over for good.
That's why she didn't even think when she started to feel the pains in her stomach again. She brushed them away as monthly cramps- but the cramps never went away. When the doctor told her there was a new tumor in her stomach she had for a brief moment been positive. A tumor she could deal with- just like she had so many times before. Little did she know it was different this time.
*Flashback*
"I don't know how to tell you this Maria. Your tumor it- well, it's metastasized. It's too large, we can't do anything. Chemo and radiation will just shrink it and give you probably a month or two more. It isn't worth the harm and damage the Chemo will do to your body. It's already weak from having been ravaged for that year. Your body can't take much more."
Maria felt the tears prick at the back of her eyes and she heard her mother's short and uneven breathing beside her. She felt bombarded- like so much information was coming down on her at once and she couldn't register and she couldn't push out from under it all- like she was drowning.
Her mother's thin fingers wrapped around Maria's arm and her nails dug through the fabric of Maria's shirt. "So, wh- what do we do doctor?" Her mother's voice held the sorrow Maria knew was deep within her soul. Maria knew the doctor's answer even before he said it.
"I'm afraid all we can do is wait and let Maria live her life now as normally she can. Let her come to terms with her disease and the fact that she will probably never come out from it."
*End of flashback*
Maria stared at her reflection the memory slipping from her mind as she examined her face. She couldn't understand how her new friends couldn't see it. The deep bags under her eyes were evident against the pale complexion of the rest of her face. She had gotten incredibly skinny as her apetite had started to slowly decrease.
Her aunt and uncle hoovered over her like she was going to stop breathing any second. She couldn't tell Liz or any of them what was wrong or she knew that they all would look at her that way too. The would look at her like a disturbing picture of the death she would soon become- shrinking back into the shadows and wondering why they had ever decided to be friends with her in the first place. She wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn't losing another friend just because of her cancer.